Help! - San Diego, CA

Girls. They are like this.
NO biggie.
My daughter did the same thing at that age.
They are changing and developing and getting to know themselves... their likes/dislikes/their sense of "evaluating" themselves and others. Par for the course.

My daughter even like to change panties like 4 times a day, and outfits.
For me, it was no big deal if her clothes didn't match... lots of kids in preschool were that way too. Tis' the age.
They "need" to "master" different concepts and changes in themselves... its fine. No harm if their clothes does not match perfectly. I see LOTS of kids that way.
The thing is, is that they learn about color... about what their clothing taste is etc.
For example: my sister (Aunty) used to try and MAKE my daughter wear "preppy" styled clothing... and that is what she would buy my daughter. BUT... my daughter out and out hated it and would get so upset when my Sister tried to make her wear what she bought. I had to explain to Aunty... that "Sally has her own style... she knows what she likes and she likes to make up her own outfits... I think she has great taste..."
My daughter felt SO proud of herself whenever she put together her outfits... and she is now a 6 year old girl, who KNOWS herself, and knows what is classy appropriate clothing for a little girl, versus (as she calls it) "trashy girl outfits...." Which she learned all on her own. And as a Mom, I always discussed clothing or her tastes, and "how come you like that color with that outfit?" which are questions I would ask her so that she could BUILD a sense of "self" and her own values.... to this day, she is a VERY wise and articulate girl... who is great at "matching" clothes, now.
It came with time and per her age.

Don't worry... it's a phase and will pass. Your daughter will one day match clothes perfectly and be able too... but at this age, they are experimental and exploratory and NEED to try things out on their own.... with our guidance.. but if you try to make her wear certain things (as my daughter's Aunty did) it will just make them upset.

I just utilized that "phase" in my daughter to teach her about things- color, developing her own 'taste' and impressions about her world view... and I did not compare her to others. My girl even went through a phase at that age where she wanted to wear knee-high socks with her flip-flops. She looked like a clown, but she was SO SO proud of her clothing style, and she didn't care what other kids thought. So LOVED her outfit! AND she felt "good" about herself. SO that was fine.
My daughter is a great dresser today... and chooses her clothing so well. :)

Don't worry... it's just a phase... but instead of turning it into a "battle" seize the opportunity to use it as a "teaching" opportunity and a way to bond with her and enjoy the differences in "style" that all people have.

All the best,
Susan

i recommend reading on becoming child wise. we have been having problems with tantrums and and all sorts of stuff with my 3 yr old son. i started reading the book with in a week i started to see huge improvements.

My best friends' 7yo girl is a frequent changer. If you can nip that in the bud, it will save time and energy...
As for the not matching, no one else cares. My daughter once saw her christmas dress and would not put anything else on. Mind you this was march. I just let her wear it and she was happy, and brought smiles to everyone who saw her, but to start I was a little humiliated. The I decided it didn't reflect on me as long and she was clean and happy... There is enough stuff to fight over, clothing is less important...
Good luck
R.

my sister was like that (only she told my mom that she didnt know how to match right so she would dress herself lol). maybe hit a middle ground. let your daughter pick out her clothes i mean is it really going to hurt to take her miss matched to the grocery store? my daughter at 2 likes to pick out her shirts and just the other day decided that she wanted to wear her swim suit over her clothes and when we went for a walk she wore it. i guess i dont mind the looks i just tell them she dressed herself this morning like a big girl. as for the changing of clothes maybe set 2 outfits aside and tell your daughter that she is allowed to have these 2 outfits a day and put them on her dresser so theres no confusion.

Hi J., that is cute, but I see your frustration, when my children were little, all of their clothes were hung up in the closet, dress clothes, play clothes, the only clothes that were in their little drawers was their socks, underwear, and pj's, in our house part of bed time routine was setting out the clothes for the next day, I had their clothes hung up in mates, I always bought things in mates, so when my children picked out their clothes for the next day, what ever they picked out was s matching outfit. The frequent changing, allow her 2 outfits a day, if she throws a tatrum, sit her on her bed tell her when you are done you can come out, she'll get it. Independance is good, my daughter was very independant at 3, I have a 3 year old little girl in my daycare and she is very indepedent too. This is only the beginning mom, girls are so much fun, and sometimes they are just like little women. J. L.

Hi J.,

I agree with SH! My daughter has her own unique style of dress as well. She is now seven and picks out her own clothes and puts it all together in outfits better than I ever could.

She has always been strongly opinionated about her clothes. As soon as she could talk she disagreed with my choices. If I selected pink for the day she would say, "I wear burble". If I picked purple she'd want pink.

We too have talked about appropriate things. A neighbor girl gives us hand me downs and some items her mother approves of I don't. I explain why they go in our goodwill bag and most of the time she agrees. I also tried to explain matching, but sometimes my sense of what goes is much more conservative than hers. She'll put on an outfit that I think will class when it's layed out, but when it is on her looks quite stylish. Othertimes well she's seven...what are you going to do.

Don't worry your daughter will work her style out. Set your limits but pick your battles. It will be fine.

C.