Health Anxiety Has Become So Bad, Don't Know What to Do.

When my daughter's anxiety got out of control I took her to see a therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders (there are many.) She went weekly for a while and then twice a month for a few months. I'm happy to say that while this is something that never completely goes away it's under control and no longer consumes her life.
Please seek out some help/treatment, no one should live like this.

Your focused on perhaps the wrong thing. What triggered your anxiety isn't as important as learning to cope, eliminate, reduce, and deal with the anxiety you have been challenged with having.

You need counseling.

When I was at a point in my life where I couldn't help or rationalize with my own self. I got help from a counselor. When I found the right counselor, the real work began and helped me to become a mentally healthy person.

Stop trying to help yourself and "figure" things out alone. Get trained professional help and before you know it you will better than you ever imagined.

Anxiety has to do with the chemicals in your brain. Yes, maybe the events you described pushed it into full force, but there are just as many people who experience these things with no residual worries lingering.

I have anxiety disorder likely caused by PTSD from a violent childhood. Lots of therapeutic work and also medication have helped me regain control of my brain. I liken it to having your brain hijacked, living like that. My medication is very moderate so I still experience a full range of emotions, can function throughout the day, very slight side effects. (I feel sort of nauseous for about 5-10 minutes some days. Other days, I get a little tired about an hour after I take it, but it doesn't make me sleepy or knock me out.)

Please talk to your primary care physician about this and ask for a counselor who can help. Explain that this is affecting your life. You need tools to work through this. Because of my own past and therapy, I can recognize triggers as they come and be able to calmly guide myself through the moment. For others, asking yourself "okay, so what *if* XYZ happened? What then? What would I do about it?" is a tool to talk themselves down from their state of anxiety.

It's important to know, too, that anxiety about some things can be a useful tool. This can help us not to procrastinate on things which need our attention or to make better choices. That said, the anxiety you describe (and what I experienced from time to time) in reality is unfounded, which is why I used the 'hijacking ones brain' analogy earlier. It doesn't lead us to any resolution and is just pointless, not instructive. Health anxiety, too, can be tricky because there are going to be some side-effects with medication and we have to be careful not to interpret this as 'something bad'--- that feeds right back into that vicious cycle. So, once you get some medication -- if you go that route-- stay on it for a while. I found that the initial dosage was good for a bit and then about half a year or so later I asked for it to be slightly increased and I've found it to be more effective.

Kudos to you for wanting to get past this and addressing it head on! Don't let this trap you from enjoying your life, your family and your self!

I'm thankful that your friend's daughter and your FIL have survived cancer, first of all.

And I'm thankful that you recognize that your fear about illness is taking over your life. That's a huge step. It shows how rational you are, and intelligent, and self-aware.

So, logically the next step is to get some help, to get some tools to learn to handle your anxieties. It may or may not be some medication. My daughter has PTSD from a true medical trauma. We took her to a counselor who helped her realize when her fears were arising, and gave her some coping tools. They included breathing exercises, certain behaviors that she could use, and some medication at first (not long-term). He also helped her to ask herself a series of questions. They were questions like: is this bad thing I'm thinking about likely to happen, or not likely to happen? Is this a rational and reasonable fear, or an unreasonable fear? Example: I'm afraid this candle will burn down my whole house. Think: it's daytime, everyone's awake, the candle is safely burning in an appropriate container in the guest bathroom, where we can see it. There are no children or pets who might knock it over. Therefore, a fire is not likely to happen, and I give myself permission to relax and enjoy the scent of the candle. Another example: I'm afraid this candle will burn down my whole house. Think: it's late at night, the candle is burning near an open window where there is a light curtain. Everyone is falling asleep. The breeze is blowing through the window. Therefore, this is a danger and I must take action. I must blow out the candle and close the window. This is a reasonable fear and I have the tools to handle the situation carefully. Rational and reasonable fears were to be handled appropriately. Unreasonable, unlikely fears were her chance to give herself permission to tell herself that she felt the fear, but it would not turn into an situation where she was crying, stressing, shaking, panicking and shutting down. "I feel this fear but I am in control of it."

So you might apply similar reasoning. Example: my FIL had bad reflux but didn't follow his doctor's orders and neglected to get his treatments. So it's reasonable and explainable that he eventually developed even worse health problems. Example: my toddler scraped her knee, but a simple bandaid covered it. It's reasonable to think that a small scrape, properly cleaned and bandaged, will not turn into bone cancer. Therefore, I give myself permission to kiss her little boo-boo and be done with it.

Don't think that your fears are weird, or that you're losing your mind, or that your FIL's health and a difficult pregnancy have changed your life course unalterably. Of course those situations were hard on you. Now you need a little help getting back on top of things, and that's ok. You need tools, someone to come along side of you and help. Please see a counselor. Don't try to diagnose yourself, simply tell the counselor that you are afraid of health issues and fearful that every cough or bruise will become something traumatic, and let the counselor do his or her job.

L.,

You need a therapist and anti-anxiety meds. You are going to make yourself crazy.

My mom died of pancreatic cancer. it was fast and swift - she died 6 days after she was diagnosed. I don't panic when my blood sugar numbers are high and think Oh no...do I have cancer? No. I say - damn girl you need to watch what you eat!!

I was pregnant five years in a row. I have TWO boys from that five years and lost two babies in ONE year (22 weeks and 14-16 weeks). I don't let that rule me. Was I rough after losing two babies? Yep. I was scared to death to have sex - even with multiple forms of birth control. It was a tough time.

You need to breathe. You need to learn how to step back and use common sense and NOT PANIC at the drop of a hat. A therapist will help you do that. And meds. Good, strong Anti-Anxiety meds....do you really want to pass this on to your kids??

These experiences in my life do NOT dictate how I react. They help define who I am, but they do NOT dictate my life and how I react to things. Please seek a VERY GOOD anxiety therapist and get some good anti-anxiety meds!

Good luck!

You need to work with a therapist on this. When your anxiety is so overwhelming that you can't function you need help putting things in perspective.

Your life with anxiety sounds exhausting!
I think you need some professional help with this so you can stop living in such fear of the worst happening all the time.
Please find a psychiatrist who will work with you till you are in a much better place in your head.
All those hours you spend worrying could be better spent just joyfully living and enjoying your life and family.
Good luck!

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If this is something that really consumes you, and gets in the way of living on a regular basis, then you need to speak to your doctor.

When it's over so many days a month (more often than not) and it's preventing you from living your life in a healthy way - medication may be in order. I have family and friends who are on medication - and it's changed their lives. They seem happy and relaxed - whereas before they clearly had concerns on their mind and couldn't even focus. So that's where I would start. Typically they start on very low dose, and that's often enough to see a marked improvement in quality of life.

If it's not as bad (affecting your life) as that - then I'd start with therapy first. But even if you start with medication, talking to a therapist can be really helpful. They usually recommend a combination of both.

Some techniques are: Breathing (3 deep belly breaths). Visualization that you're in your 'safe' place, Tensing up all your muscles and holding for a few seconds, then releasing them all and going limp like a jelly fish.

But more involved coping techniques involve strategies - usually working through anxieties so you realize they are very likely never going to happen, and worst case scenario - you can live with it, etc. A therapist would be very helpful in this.

Best to you

I'm sorry that you're going through this.

You are letting anxiety control your life. You need to take back the control.

The best thing for anxiety is talking to someone. Preferably a woman who specializes in women's issues. Also, you need to be on some anti anxiety meds. Don't fight it. You will not need to be on them forever. Perhaps something like Zoloft will help more long term with Xanax to calm you down.

You have a family who needs you. You need to take care of yourself before you can take care of any of them. So hop to it and get yourself some help.

Good luck!!

I am thinking about going back to college for my psych degree. Not to practice traditional psychology but to teach the younger generation how to think. Exposing them to that little voice and helping them understand that the little voice is probably right.

It scares me how much most younger adults can't actually sort out, this is awful but it won't happen to me and this is why.

I am not saying this to be snarky or rude just that it saddens me that you can't sort through what is real and what isn't and it is causing you this level of stress.

The quickest thing I can tell you is just to do deep breathing...really focus for 30 seconds on filling your lungs and letting it out. ...feel your body relax just for that one quick moment in time.

I hope it gets better for you.

Updated

The quickest thing I can tell you is just to do deep breathing...really focus for 30 seconds on filling your lungs and letting it out. ...feel your body relax just for that one quick moment in time.

I hope it gets better for you.

All I can offer is a hug, because I'm going through the same thing. Like others have said, the most important thing right now is that you've realized your anxiety is hindering you from living in the moment. There will always be stressors, and unfortunately no one has a magic crystal ball to tell us what our future holds. One thing that keeps you in the anxiety trap -and I know because I live with it everyday- is thinking "what if". What if this cough is something else? What if I get on the freeway and have an accident? What if something happens? It's the fear of not being in control. I am going through this exact same thing right now, especially because we've had a terrible spring season with everyone getting sick back-to-back. I'm considering seeing a doctor to find out whether I need medication. I did psychotherapy (no meds) for almost 2 years, and while it was great, my anxiety didn't improve. I don't know whether medication is always the right way, but I know people who have been helped by it, much like some of the moms who have commented here. So while I can't offer advice or solutions, just know there are many of us who also struggle with these fears. Recognizing your anxiety is the first step, so props to you!