Hello to all, :-)
So this isn't really a question. It is a formal Thank You note (can you see the embossed gold writing on the front?) from me to this community. I'm not bidding farewell by any means. I just wanted to say thank you to all that have fielded my questions and concerns. Some of them were silly and stupid. Some were important and things for which I really needed guidance and validation. No matter what, you all helped to give me perspective and to keep my helicopter rotors shut down so that I could support my darling son grow and succeed to this point.
Our family is at another jumping off point and I know that I can count on this forum to provide me with the perspective and clarity that will help me through this transition. I can't be more grateful for that. My mom and I share a complicated relationship, what mother/daughter relationship doesn't? Having said that, I often question myself with respect to my decisions and relationship with my son. I am the first of my social group and family to have a child so I often am the one facing motherhood issues without their experience. Having the chance to reach out to this forum has truly been a blessing to help frame my experience in a realistic manner.
It's coffee time for me here in MI so I will raise my mug to all you dedicated moms and dads out there. Please know how grateful this mom is for your insight, your input, your honesty and your candor.
All the best to you all as they head back to school and forge ahead into their own lives.
:-) S.
Best wishes for his transition!
Ditto what you say about the other moms on here.
You all have have held my hand in more situations then you all know. I am so grateful!
I will raise my mug with you all!
Cheers!
Happy Satuday!
well, isn't that lovely?
raising my coffee mug right back at ya.
khairete
S.
What a sweet post! Having finished one with college and having a junior in college now, I know your feelings of anticipation, elation, nervousness, and the feelings of "what now?" You wonder how often to call them, how much to pry, how much to stand on principle and how much to step back, or demand. They're not grown up yet, but they are no longer at home with you, though you still support them. It's like walking a bit of a tightrope, depending on your relationship.
You sound like you're doing just fine! Enjoy that coffee time!
How nice to see such a positive note first thing in the morning!!
Enjoy this time and I wish success for your family!
My daughter just started her senior year if college... Whew time flies fast!
Have a happy Saturday!
Raising my Mai Tai from Hawaii. Thanks for writing that. I echo your sentiments. I've gotten so much good advice here, some help in focusing, some encouragement, some admonition, some common sense, and sometimes just a virtual hug.
As for the mothering part, my relationship with my mom was pretty awful. Not abusive, just she wasn't a mother. No intimate talks, no advice, no personal interaction, no hugs, no "mothering". Thankfully I got all the love and parenting and teaching that I could have ever wanted or needed from my wonderful dad.
Anyway, I spent a long, long number of years trying to parent my kids from the perspective of "what should my mother have done in this situation" or "how do I do the opposite of what my mom did" or "what would I have wished my mom would have done" or "how do I not be my mother". I finally realized that kind of thinking was counter-productive. I was stuck in assessing every situation (sick kid, first day of school jitters, dating advice, chore assignments, setting boundaries and establishing consequences for violating them, just a kid needing a hug, etc) from the perspective of "what didn't my mom do" instead of "what should I do". Once I realized I was a competent, loving mom, and gave myself permission to stop questioning my own instincts, and stop trying to go at mothering from an oppositional standpoint and go at it from a positive standpoint with my own mother's neglect out of the picture, I calmed down considerably. I felt peace.
So try not questioning yourself, and try trusting your own instincts. I hope your son has a productive and fulfilling year. Sounds like you're helping him get off to a great start.
Enjoy these last four years! It goes fast.
Raising my tea cup to you out here in the desert!
How wonderful that you are at such a good place in your life! Enjoy these very special years to the fullest!
And how absolutely thoughtful of you to write this lovely post. This is a great community, and this is a really nice reminder of that.
Wishing you and all of the great mamas, dads, and grandparents the very best!
Umm coffee.
Enjoy your time with your son. It goes by way too soon.
Congratulations to you too!! (And congratulations on being the "first in your family to have a child" - breaking new ground.) Enjoy these last days of summer!
Great post :) I'll raise my mug to you too!
How thoughtful and kind! My situation is somewhat similar...without real life support from other moms and I am so grateful to find this place. Our son is a freshman in high school, and I look forward to asking questions about my grandchildren here on day!
Lovely note to the electronic portion of your 'village'! Thank you for it. Enjoy that well-earned cup of coffee!! May his transition, and yours, be delightful!
Thank you for your kind words! My oldest is also a freshman. I can't believe how time flies. I am trying to savor the time as much as I can. Blessings to you and your son as you embark on this next phase.
I came here when my freshman girl was a baby, maybe mamasource?. I researched a lot then because my community is pretty judgy if you ask a question. I am glad it is here as well.
