Having Trouble Concieving

My husband and I had been having 'unprotected' sex for almost a year without ever becoming pregnant. However, when we decided to really try, we did it every other day for a month and a half.....and voila! We now have a son! No matter what, we didn't miss a time...even when we were too tired or didn't feel like it, we did it. Afterwards, I would lay with my legs in the air for a few mintues, or sleep with a towel between my legs to 'keep it in'! LOL Don't give up :)

You could be doing "it" on the wrong days. Buy an ovulation kit for about $20-$40 depending on the number of tests. Just like a pregnancy test, you pee on it in the morning and if you get a color change, it's time!
Besides 4 months is not a long time. A doctor will not even see you unless it's a problem for you (you have 2 kids so it isn't) for at least a year to do any testing.
Good luck

RELAX - I know that is easier said than done. My grandmother had told me when we were trying to have a glass of wine, and have sex under the Christmas tree. lol

Being calm is probably the best advice.

Hello B.!

Don't worry I was in the same situation, I mean I tried everything out there like; having sex in different positions; ovulating time;etc.... Let me tell you about my self my name is D. and I live in Leesburg,VA and happily married and have a little one that is 14 months now, We were married about a year or so and we decided to have a baby right away and for some reason I was not getting pregnant at all!! I was so fustrated that I was just searching the website and I found this website www.ovulex.com and I was skeptical about it since I said no way!! I am going to try that but since it said 100 money back guarantee what do I have to loose!! well one day I ordered that product and I tried it one month later I found out I was pregnant!!! I was so happy of joy!! I tell you this stuff really works.. I recommend it to you and anyone who is the same situation as I was.. why not!! what do you have to loose... and the good thing about it' its affordable..

Try it!!

Good luck and remember relax and enjoy!!!!

get the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. you know NOTHING about your body until you get this book. it is a MUST for women trying to conceieve, doing natural family planning and for those that just want to know more about thier reproductive system. women who have struggled for years with infertility have conceived only months after applying the methods from the book.

www.tcoyf.org

The simplest solution is to simply stop "trying". My husband had a vasectomy, then had it reversed 11 years later for me. The chances of a reversal working drop by 50% after 10 years.. and they aren't a 100% to begin with, so the dr said if you're not pregnant within 2 years it's not going to happen. Well it was almost 2 years of crying every month and our family constantly asking are you pregnant yet??? We finally decided that apparently it wasn't going to happen and we came to terms with it, and were actually happy and ok with it. We told everyone that's it, it's not going to happen so please don't ask us again. We stopped stressing every month, and didn't give it another thought. That's when I got pregnant. Alot of times we stress ourselves out soooo much "trying" that we're actually preventing it. That's why so many parents who adopt because they can't have children end up pregnant not long after. Enjoy each other and just breathe :-)

B.,
First my story: With my 1st born son, my husband & I tried for 6 months before we got pregnant (I was 31 at the time). My problem was I do not ovulate/get my period every month. I only ovulated 2 times during this process & the 2nd time the pregnancy took. We had a healthy son 9 months later & we are currently 8 motnhs pregnant with a daughter. This pregnancy only took 2 months for us to conceive. My doctor had said he wanted us to try naturally for 1 year before they did testing or other means. My friends story: She & her husband tried for 2 years with everything from drugs, to invitro. None of this worked & they ran out of money. They were completely stressed out. They finally got pregnant on their own about 6 months later, but lost the baby due to stress of her fathers death. Two months later they were pregnant again & she had twin boys 7 months ago (they were born 2 months pre-mature, but are very healthy & doing well). The doctors were amazed that she even got pregnant at all, but contribute it to relaxing. If your body is stressed, it is harder to conceive. I know this is asking a lot, but the best advice I can give is try to relax & let nature do the rest. Try not to get so focused on the process that you forget how enjoyable sex is. My husband & I were lucky, as we had already accepted the fact that it may not happen & we were ok with it. I was so sick of having sex toward the end that I was ready to give up. I took a few days to unwind & primp (hair, nails, make-up, dressed up pretty & boy did it make me feel a whole lot better). Then I surprised my husband with some seductive/kinky stuff & that is what got us pregnant with my son. I know easier said then done...but it worked for us. I know others who have taken vacations to unwind & gotten pregnant during this. I can't suggest positions, as none seemed to help us. Though some swear by missionary style. Others say take 2 or 3 days off then go at it like you can't get enough of each other. Most fertility stories you read, speak of couples who don't seem to get pregnant until they give up & go back to the natural way- again this "relax & let life takes it's course" seems to be the rule of thumb. Good luck & know you are not alone. This happens to many couples & can be very frustrating. Try to remember your love for one another during this process & everything will work out. Best wishes, S.

Chinese medicine could help - it frequently is used to aid fertility. Worth a try.

As others have said 4 mos isn't a long time. I did use instead cups with my last pregnancy. (You can buy them in the pads section of Walmart. They are for your period.) I put it in after intercourse and then climaxed myself. Within 2 cycles I was pregnant after I started using them. You could be ovulating at a different time. I personally ovulate on day 18.

i have bought ovulation strips at the dollar store, you only get one per pack, but it still makes it cheaper than buying the name brand ones.
4 months is nothing to worry about, though i completely understand the frustration and disappoint each month. just take care of yourself and try to keep stress under control.

When I was about 19 I got pregnant with and it was ectopic. They did not realize this until I was almost three months along and I nearly died as a result. We were devastated and all the doctor's told us not to worry b/c it would be easy to conceive another even though there may be similar risks. The thing is, we tried to get pregnant for a year without any luck, but a year to the day later we got pregnant. I am telling you this b/c sometimes it can take a year to conceive without any luck. I would wait that long at least before I got concerned. I know it is tough to have patience, but once you get pregnant you will probably have no trouble again. My husband and I are welcoming our third on the 26th and I am only 24. Positions help as well, but I am sure you have been told that. I always found that missionary with my legs elevated has always been the position for us. I will be praying for you and I am sure you will conceive within the next six months!

Been there!...no alcohol for Mr. Make swimmers lazy! Robitussin for Mr. thins semen makes swimmers swim faster, jump higher. Buy ovulation prediction kits. They use urine(yours) to measure hormones and tell you when ovulation is imminent. Temps are unpredictable esp if your sleep varies. Have fun, have sex often, relax. Good luck! W.

B., sorry for your frustration. I too have been in your shoes. Have you mentioned to your OB/GYN that you are TTC? If not, that would be my first step. And 4 months isn't that long when TTC, even though I know if feels like forever. They say if you aren't pregnany w/in a year of TTC you should contact your doc for further treatment. Do you chart or anything like that so you know your cycle better? Personally, it took us a little more than 6 months to get pregnant w/ my DS, and even then I had to use Clomid because I wasn't ovulating. This time though, none of that....surprise, I'm due again in August!

It's very common to take 6+ months of actually trying before you conceive so don't get discouraged yet. And most Drs wont start fertility treatment unless you've been trying without success for at least a year (or 6 months if you're over 35). There are a number of things to do to help increase your odds. First of all, like almost everyone else has said, try to relax. It seems odd but the more you worry about it, the longer it seems to take to get pregnant. When I tried getting pregnant, I charted my temp to pinpoint when I ovulated plus I checked my cervical mucous and that can give you a good clue as to if/when you are ovulating. Also, you can buy an ovulation predictor test to help you pinpoint ovulation. And there is a plan on another website that I visit frequently that is supposed to help you get pregnant. It's supposed to be very successful. It's called the "Sperm meets Egg" plan. Here is a brief description of it:

"Try" every other night starting Day 8
Buy 10 ovulation predictor kit sticks
Begin ovulation testing on Day 10
When test is positive, "try" that night, plus two additional nights in a row
Skip one night, then do one last "try"
Take a home pregnancy test 15 days after your ovulation test was positive, if your period has not begun
If your ovulation test never goes positive, continue "trying" every other night until Day 35, then do a pregnancy test if your period has not begun.

You can also try things such as acupuncture, cough syrup, plus other thing that are supposed to help you increase your fertility or help keep more little spermies alive so you have a better chance of one of them reaching your egg. You can talk to your Dr about it too and see if he/she has any advice. There are a ton of old wives tales for increasing your chances of conceiving but I don't know how well they actually work. If you've tried everything and you still don't get pregnant, then it may be time to consider IVF but that should be your last resort. Good luck and I hope this helps.

It took almost 12 months to conceive my son. While we haven't been trying as hard as we could for the past 12 months for our third, we haven't been preventing it either. I have been trying to time it right. I just found out I am pregnant but it took about 12 months again.

My favorite source of help was the book:
Taking Charge of Your Fertility: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health (Revised Edition) by Toni Weschler

It is available through Amazon.com as well as other book stores. With my son, it was after I read this book and followed it's advice that I finally got pregnant. Good luck.

Hi, 4 months is not a long time.My advice is to not stress about it.Honestly.Just go with the flow.Relax.Take some "YOU" time.Take a nice bath.Dont stress yourself out.

Well they say it can take up to a year to get pregnant, but when we were trying someone told me to try drinking cough syrup because it thins your mucus. It was probably a coincidence but we covcived the month I drank it. We had been trying for about four years and my husband was also taking something called proxceed that a fertility doctor said to try.
I hope all this helps. Good luck!

hi there!

first of all....relax...4 months seems like a long time, especially when u see dear aunt flo showing up like clockwork every month, but it is not too bad. it took us 6 months to get pregnant with daughter #2. it will really help if u and your husband arent stressing over it.

second...get in tune with your cycle. day 1 is the day your period starts. most women have a 28 day cycle, and the majority of women ovulate on days 8-18. so that is your window of opportunity. so, technically, u have only 1/3 of the month that u have to 'actively' try. :o)

last...u will probably hear so many different "ways" to increase your chance of pregnancy. just do whatever works for u. people told us that u had to "do it" every day. so we tried it...no baby...then someone said that u couldnt do it every day, u needed to "build up" his "supply" so u had to rest a day..hee hee ...so, the every other day thing didnt work either...then we heard the "resting" thing was a myth, u could do it all day long if u wanted...well, needless to say, that didnt work either...but husband was very very happy with our efforts;o) after a few more months of just doing what worked for us (within that 10 day fertile window) we finally got that big fat positive on the test!

have fun, relax, and let us know when u have success!

wish u all the best!

~J.

Hello, first off good luck to you..I started trying for my third child November 3rd and I took a test once a week after that I really wanted to know. Well everytime it came back Negative..I was so upset and I already knew that it took me 7 months for my first and second child and I didn't want to wait that long this time around...So we still kept trying and on December 16th I found out that it was Positive and when i put in my period dates it turns out I got pregnant on our first night and that was when i wasn't thinking about it and it just so happened twice that night...
So my point is make feel like it was your first time together and things are very likely to happen and maybe more then once that night...
Well good luck to you and keep us posted

Have you been taking prenat. vitamins? That can help you get preg. You also have to relax and stop trying and let it happen. You also might be having sex too much. That can also lower your chances. I Hope everything works out well.

ash

My advice is try to relax and let it happen. Four months isn't really that long. Don't make a project out of it. The stress is only going to make it harder. I had a client that was trying for four months also and she started to become frustrated. I gave her the same advice and a few weeks later she found out she was pregnant. She is thrilled. You really have to just let it happen. I recommend speaking with your doctor about it but if you don't have a reason to be concerned I would just give it some more time before driving yourself crazy over it. The stress is only going to make it worse. Relax, it really shouldn't be hard work. I am going to be 33 this year and can understand your urgency but it's just not going to happen if you stress about it. Good luck.

Hi B.,

We struggled with fertility for 5 years before conceiving, and did wind-up turning to treatments, but in the meantime, the book "Taking Charge of your Fertility" was a great resource.

Good Luck and God Bless!

ps, I just read some of the other responses...and while all are true, I know each month seems like an eternity. The fact that you're 31 and want to be pregnant should put a little bounce in your step, but not be reason to panic. Have you ever been pregnant before? When was the last time you saw your OB? Do you tend to have regular cycles? How long have you been off birth control? Lots of ingredients go into the recipe to make a baby. I would suggest not wasting time with what you know in your gut isn't working. (that was my only regret on this long journey...I KNEW the clomid treatments were a bunch of bunk, but listened to the doctor for months before we changed specialists.) "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" might change the way you do some things, will make you more observant throughout the month, and may confirm the stuff you're already doing. (it's also something to turn to in the middle of the night when your wheels just won't stop turning.) Good Luck again, Darlin, and God speed!

Well as someone who as been through the fertility route, I would recommend not waiting. 31 is not old (that is my age) but as far as conception goes it could make things difficult. When I first tried to get pregnant and ended up with the fertility doctor, I got pregnant on my first cycle with triplets. I ended up miscarrying at 5 months due to cervical incompetence. When I went back it to about 6 months to get pregnant with my son who just turned 2. I am currently 5 months pregnant and with this pregnancy, it took over a year of fertility treatments. It can be frustrating, but the rewards are outstanding!!

Just seeing a fertility doctor doesn't mean you will need treatments. You or your husband may have a simple problem that could be managed with some simple medication. At least you would have a diagnosis to work with. Hope this helps. Good luck!!

Keep trying B., don't be defeated yet. I know to you 4 months seem like a long time, but in reality it isn't. It takes most couples longer than 4 months to get it right. Relax enjoy yourself and it will happen. If you jump in to the fertility treatments more than likely you will end up with several kids at once and one infant is hard enough. Plus fertility treatments can be pretty pricey and most insurance only cover the first time if that. I held my legs in the air for at least 30 minutes afterwards to help the little guys with the swim. Could be an old-wives tale but it worked for me. Good Luck!

Relax! You have only been trying for 4 months. My neice & her husband tried to conceive both of their children. They were actually told that they may never have children. Finally they gave up & just went with it. They figured if they were meant to have a child that it would happen soon or later. They were married in the summer & by Christmas of the next year they were holding their first daughter. After some complications in the birth of their first daughter, they didn't think that they would ever have another child. So after they gave up just enjoyed each other, before they knew it they were expecting their second daughter.

I wish & your husband all the luck. The main think you need to do is both of you need to relax & enjoy being married.

T.

I know just how you feel. My husband and I tried for a year and a half ... I ended up being so frustrated that we went and talked to my OBGYN about fertility treatments and he said not to worry and keep trying before we started anything. Well, turns out 2 weeks later we found out we were pregnant. Best advice I have is to go away with eachother overnight somewhere... Try to figure out your ovulation schedule - although I never could - and go then. They have ovulation sticks you can buy to test yourself too - they never seemed to work for me, but you never know. Anyway, if it really bothers you, you can always go to your OBGYN for their opinion. Maybe they can start you down the process by just doing testing to make sure nothing is preventing you from becoming pregnant. Anyway, good luck!

I hear that taking your time is the best way! Stressing over it may be causing part of your problem! Try to relax and juts late nature take it's course! Good Luck!

Hi B.,

Have you been taking any birth control before you started trying? I was on the depo and it took me 9 months to get pregnant. ( I have heard that a year minimum is the norm.) I know how it felt to build your hopes up just to get your period and have to wait til the next month. Then again, sometimes it just has to be the right time of month and it sounds silly but for some people it doesn't just happen so quickly as others. I bought this fertility book and all the stuff. I got so wrapped up in it, that it was making me too upset, so I relaxed and shortly after I got pregnant. I wouldn't be alarmed by the 4 months, but if time goes by and your concerned you can always talk to your doctor. I bet if you relax and try not to make it all about getting pregnant, ( like I did) it will happen.