Having Three Children

Updated on August 20, 2009
G.P. asks from Ottawa, IL
13 answers

Well Mama's, I just found out I am pregnant with my third child. I am excited, but at the same time terrified at what I am getting myself into! For all you that have three or more children is it a lot harder? I know that going from one to two was/is an adjustment for me, especially since my youngest is so much more active and high maintenence compared to my first. I just am wanting some honest opinions about what I am going to expect in about 9 months!
Thanks so much!

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T.O.

answers from Chicago on

You'll be fine! :) It will be great having a 6 year old to help too! We have an almost 4 year old, a 2 1/2 year old, and a 5 month old. Going from 2 to 3 wasn't much harder in my opinion. You already "know what to do" and how to handle most situations. Congrats and enjoy!!

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T.C.

answers from Chicago on

I have 2, my friend has 3. She said having 3 kids isn't harder, it's just more. I guess it's all in how you look at it. I've heard repeatedly that going from 1-2 kids is much harder than going from 2-3. Good luck & congrats!

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M.K.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, G....

Instead of re-writing my "book"...I wanted to share a previous response I had given that is very similar. So, you can just click onto my name 'M. K' and go to the response that I gave to -Barbara T- regarding her unexpected pregnancy at age 39 (this was her third also). I also sent her more in private, which I can also copy and send to you.

In a nutshell...take a deep breath---give yourself some grace and just accept that, yes, there is an adaptation period to becoming a Mom of three, but you manage it and handle it just like you did when you adapted to being a Mom of 2. You find out just how much you can handle---even when you doubted yourself and didn't give yourself enough credit. And, you are in awe in just how much love you have in your heart for each child. God made us pretty unique beings---and, thank goodness He created us to be multi-taskers!!! :) Blessings to you and your family, and please let me know if I can be of any further help. God bless...Kimberly

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A.H.

answers from Evansville on

I think it all depends on the ages of the other children. Mine are 7,4 and 3. I think I did okay. The 4 and 3 year old are only 13 months apart. It was like having twins really. I potty trained them at the same time. The 7 year old and the 4 year old are boys and they get along well and play together. It really depends on the ages I think.Congrats and good luck.

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K.K.

answers from Chicago on

I agree that it depends on how old your children are. I had 3 in 3 1/2 years..it is a lot and they are still all so needy. However, I would not change it for the world! I love having 3!!! It is a lot of work, you are now out numbered :)

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A.N.

answers from Chicago on

I have three girls: almost 7, newly 3, and almost 1. Going from one to two was hard compared to going from two to three. As a matter of fact, it was a piece of cake by comparison! You are already used to juggling two so it's not a big deal adding one more. You are very experienced dealing with babies too, so relax.

The only time three has been hard is when one of the kids get sick, because we usually all catch whatever comes in the house. My six year does not always wash hands well (she brought swine flu home this spring) and the little ones put everything in their mouths. So, when one gets sick, we end up laying low for about three weeks, because that's how long it takes for everyone to get sick and recover.

When we're healthy, it's easy breezy! Congrats to you and your family!

J.R.

answers from Decatur on

You will be fine! Your 6 yr old will probably be tons of help too. I have 4 kids and my hardest transition was going from 1 to 2.

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A.R.

answers from Peoria on

I have 3 now. 3 years (almost4), 2 1/2 years, and my youngest is 8 weeks. I had a much harder time going from 1 to 2 then from 2 to 3. I think because by the time 3 came around we had a schedual, and have figured out a way to do things already. Somehow it all works out and I can still attend to everyones needs. Shopping is a little harder, but I find myself looking for a space next to a cart corral, instead of closest to the front door of the store. We also had to upsize our car. We went from a Toyota corrolla to a minivan, which was an adjustment, but definatly worth it. The only other thing is remember you may not be able to get everything done all the time. When I had just the 2 my house was always picked up before daddy came home from work,but now my house is quite often messy (not dirty, just messy). Also, I noticed with #3 my husband has stepped up more. He holds the youngest if I'm trying to do something. Gets dinner served to everyone, and one time he fed me while I was nursing baby. Even now as I type this my youngest is sitting on my lap. The last thing I can recommend is trying to get them to sleep at the same time each day. My 3 year old still takes naps, so all three usually sleep around the same time around noon so I get around 2 hours to myself. Feel free to message me if you have any other questions about 3.

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

The third is the cherry on top of the ice cream sundae! ;- )

J.

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R.C.

answers from Chicago on

G.~
Your children were exactly the same ages as mine where when was surprised with the news of #3. In my opinion, it's both easier and harder. I think that it is easier to get used to a third one, vs. when you add the second. Adding the second was such a change cuz all of a sudden, you have to divert attention away from that first one, which you only had for 5 years. In that sense, the third one just blends in.

However, when you have 3, there is always something that needs to be done-I feel as if I never stop moving, taking care of the needs of these kids. My house is always messy, not dirty, just messy, and there is always laundry to be done. My second one was 21 months when his little brother was born, and I didn't see too much sibling rivalry happen. He was just so young that he hard a hard time being "gentle". Leaning on baby to kiss him, or he always liked to touch his head to the babys, and it would wind up being almost a head butt. Those first few months were kind of a blur, but I was almost aways able to sync their naps, so that I'd get at least an hour or two a day to myself. And remember, new babies do sleep quite a bit at first, giving you time to adjust. I remember reading somewhere that if both of the little ones are needing something, it's best to attend to the older one first, as the baby isn't going to harber resentment like the older one could. It is a little crazy that first year, having 2 kids that really need mom's help and attention, but certainly manageable. You didn't mention the father much, but I assume he's home every evening. I believe it is vital that he understands that your days will be filled with attending to the children, feeding them, changing them, and cleaning up after them. He will need to either step up and help more with those more obscure chores, like dusting, mopping, laundry, or realize and accept that they will slide down your priority ladder. Like I always tell my hubby "I am a stay at home MOM, not maid!!"
Now that they are 14 months, and almost 3 it is really starting to get fun. The youngest had learned all his motor skills at an alarming rate. I'm not sure if it was to keep up with the other two, or trying to get out of the way, but he's scaling playground equipment and stairs constantly, which keeps me on my toes. The oldest is at school all day, so we are able to still go do those fun "little" kids things, like 15 minutes stops just to check something out somewhere, or walks around the neighborhood. And now, the older two are starting to be able to play some "older" kid things, like cars and house together.
Some of the biggest hurddles are going shopping--having two small kids in the parking lot is stressful. I always park right close to the cart corrals so I can get one right at the car to help free up my hands to get the other one out while keeping that first one safe. I actually prefer to take my oldest with me, as she can hold on to the middle kid, while I get out the youngest. The 2 younger ones share a room, so I have to stagger bed & nap times a bit, and that can be an issue sometimes, but not horrible. They don't wake each other up if the other is in a good sleep.
You will do it, and do it as well as you can, because you won't know any different. Your family will adapt because they have to. And in six months later, you are going to wonder what life was like before #3 was born! I used to thing I was busy before....
I hope that was semi helpful for you. Good luck!

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

I had my third late last year. I had heard all the "you're outnumbered now" comments and the personal experience from other moms who'd made the transition, so I braced myself for a challenge! I think just "expecting the worst" but not dwelling on the negative was helpful to me, because in those moments when I was (and am) truly frazzled, I just think, "for everything there is a season", and it helps me just to focus on the tasks, problems, sweet moments, etc. at hand and not get overwhelmed. The hard part is obviously going to be these really young years when they have so many needs and you just do not have enough hands or time to get everything done. Don't be a perfectionist and understand that some things just don't need to get done right away....you'll have to deal with a messy house a lot of the time, you won't get out and about as much as you may want to....you'll be home a LOT at first. Remember: "For everything there is a season"....right now is the time for babies, children, and all the joys (and yes, stresses) that come with it, and you'll never get this time back, so enjoy it as much as you can, and when it's tough just remember to give yourself a little grace:)

p.s. Right now I'm at home with 3 sick children on a beautiful day and even though I want to get outside and enjoy the last days of summer, I"m resigned to another day inside, taking care of them and cleaning:(.....but I've gotten better at going with the flow of it all!

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M.C.

answers from Rockford on

First off congrat's. I don't have any advise for you but was glad to read the answers. I'm sorda in the same boat. I have a 4 year old and 6 month year old and pregnant with twins who will be born about a month before my sons 1st birthday so I'm always looking for advise. I just try not to worry about it and expect the first couple months to be crazy. But I'm sure you'll be fine. I hear all the time once you have 2 it doesn't make that much of a difference.

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S.B.

answers from Chicago on

First, contgrats on your pregnancy. I have 3 kids, and it was alot easier to go from 1 to 2 then from none to one, and I was single with my first and was left by the bio dad when he found out I was pregnant. And then going from 2 to 3 was easier too I thought. Now, it is harder for me, because my last 2 have Autism. That is hard, but I get by day by day with most of my support coming from support groups, and one I run on my own monthly, and also frome friends and a professional Autism person that has become a great friend. She has gotten me through some really hard times and still is doing so. I am also a doula, so I have had this quiestion asked me to me many times.
Good luck!
S. Bailey CLD
Aurora
www.tendermomentsdoula.com

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