Having 2Nd Child 6 Years After First Child.

My first and second were 6 years apart, then I had another 2 years later. It was great - like having an only child all over again. The older one was in school most of the day so I had a lot of 1:1 time with my newborn, just like I did with my oldest. My oldest was old enough to be truly helpful. I find that whatever spacing you end up having, ends up being ideal for you. Good luck!

Me and my brother got along fine (6 years apart). My eldest (14) and my younger two (8 and 3) get along fine. I don't think age difference has much to do with how well kids get along.

Mine are almost 9 years apart. Eight years apart, school wise. It worked out great for us. My son is 21 and my daughter is 12. They weren't in daycare at the same time and they aren't in college at the same time. Plus we really didn't have much sibling rivelry with the age difference. They get along very well.

My kids are 6 years apart. Our son wasnt thrilled when we had his sister. He wanted a dump truck instead. They were fine the first year and then he realized she wasnt going to leave and she started getting into his things and it was not always fun. We lived thru it and about the time she was 10 he kinda liked her again. Now they are 28 and 34 and are best buddies. For the last few years whenever they get time to hang out and go to concerts and run around, out to dinner and laugh and are just silly, so much so that a lot of people think they are a cute young couple. It of course creeps them out and then they just die laughing about it. They really are good friends now and Im happy about that.

I'll be 35 next week and I have an almost 5 year old with another on the way in August! So far, my son is very excited to have a little brother on the way; so much that he asks me everyday if the baby will be born on that day! I'll also be curious to see how he reacts when the baby actually gets here.

The only thing that I had a problem with as far as having children so far apart was I always compared my 2nd pregnancy to my 1st. Big mistake! My 1st pregnancy was like heaven, literally! My 2nd has been just the opposite as far as hip pain, lack of sleep, hormones, etc.! I finally just had to accept that this pregnancy wasn't going to be anything like my last!

Hi J.,
My 1st daughter is 6 1/2 and I just gave birth 11 days ago to my 2nd daughter.
My advice would be to involve your oldest in everything. My daughter was in the room with me until the pushing stage when her Nana took her out of the room. She has been very helpful with the baby, getting me diapers, wipes or whatever else is needed. I love having the age gap as I feel I will get to spend as much time with my 2nd as I did with my 1st. I am 34 (almost 35). We did have a gift wrapped for her from the baby in the hospital so that she wouldn't feel left out. It was a Barbie/Ken wedding set that she had wanted for a long time.
Please pm me if you have any other questions!

My daughter will be turning 6 y/o less than 2 months after #2 is born.

The upsides seems obvious... child is more stable, has had LOTS of one on one time with Mommy, is more able and willing to help and old enough to understand what is going on. Since oldest is in school during the day, I'll have more time to spend with newborn/youngest.

She's eagerly awaiting for her baby brother to be born and is excited about helping me with his care.

Hello - we have two kids that are 5.5 years apart. Their ages now are 7 and 1 and a half. I had my 2nd child when I was 38 yrs old. At first we were happy with having an only child and my husband was not ready for a 2nd. Then when our son was 3 we decided to start trying and it took a year an half to get pregnant! My pregnancy went fine. Our daughter was born quite healthy at 8 lbs. :) I opted not to do any amnio tests even though the dr. scared me with the statistics. I decided I do not know what I would do with that information anyway if it were bad news so I just went with ultrasounds (they can look at certain things like head size and see that things are looking good). Anyway, we are SO happy we have our little daughter and she just brings are 3 of us so much delight every day. Her brother ADORES her and she really looks up to him. Her face just lights up when he plays with her. Right after she was born I went through feelings of guilt bc I could not just take off and do things with my son anytime like we used to (go for a bike ride etc.). I would be inside dealing with her or feeding her and he would go outside and play with the neighbor kids in the culdesac and I would feel so bad that I was not giving him more attention. I think he learned to be more independent and this is a good thing. I tried to schedule lots of play dates too with kids from his class. At times I am flexible and will wake the baby up early from her nap or just have her nap in the car when I take our son to do things he does not want to miss. But this is the plight of 2nd, 3rd, and 4th kids everywhere! Luckily she is a little bit mellow and it works out fine. Mostly I take her to do everything I would normally do with her brother and she loves it. Her brother had to learn to keep his legos and other tiny toys up on shelves and not leave them out. He also has had to learn to share more when his little sister is grabbing his toys. For the most part he is very good about it, although there are times when he does not like it. One advantage is while your oldest is in school you have that time to spend with your baby. I take our daughter to toddler activities and programs every week and in a way it is like she is an only child for half the day bc she is getting so much one on one time with me. It makes things much more relaxing. Then she naps and then her brother gets home from school. A disadvantage is that they will not be close in age and want to play the same things. But they still will play together in different ways. Our son pushes our daughter on her riding toys and chases her around the house (as she shrieks with delight). One of your kids will be off to college while the other is starting middle school. Two of our friends have kids spaced out this distance and they say it is much easier on their finances bc they are not paying for college for 2 at the same time. My advice to you is to definitely have this 2nd child and don't worry! Enjoy! We enjoy our daughter SO much every day. Our younger parent friends all comment on how relaxed we seem to be. I feel relaxed. I really have enjoyed this baby so much...it feels like our family is complete!

We are expecting our third in Oct, and I will be 36, almost 37 when she is born. My oldest daughter will be 8 and my son will be 5. The kids are thrilled and I can already see I am going to have an issue with them being too involved with the baby. We are excited even though it had gotten to the point where we were finally able to do things as a family and a couple. I am the only one in the group of preschool and 1st grade moms to be starting over and some look at me like I am totally out of my mind. We have nothing except the crib for the baby because we just couldn't keep it so we will be starting over. In terms of the pregnancy, I am just more worn out this time around. If you want a second, then go for it!

I was 34 when I had my second, totally unplanned, but a lovely gift! My boys are 6.5 years apart, and I absolutely love it. They do too. I don't know how much of this is because of their personalities, and how much is because of the age difference - probably a bit of both. They are 7 and 13 now.

I was worried that they wouldn't be close because of their age difference, but they are soooo close. They are together all the time. I keep waiting for them to go through a rough patch, but they haven't yet (knock on wood!). My youngest adores his older brother, and my oldest acts much like a parent to his younger brother. He gets so excited watching his brother learn new things. There has been no jealousy at any point. I attribute it partly to the fact that my oldest is so laid back and partly to him being old enough when his brother was born to understand what was going on, so he wasn't jealous of the new baby. He understood the baby needed more care at the time.

Even though they aren't interested in the same things (oldest likes airsoft guns, and youngest likes legos), they play incredibly well together. They spend hours together outside jumping on the trampoline or exploring in the creek or in the fields; we live on a small farm.

An added bonus is having a babysitter in the family! I love being able to go on dates with my husband knowing that my youngest is in such good hands now that my oldest is mature enough to babysit. :)

My girls are 6 years apart and it is great. Only one baby, diapers, etc at a time. Now 6yr old was quite jealous for a bit, but she grew to love her sister and actually was better for learning how to share.

Go for it. Children are wonderful close or far apart. It will all work out just find.

My kids are spaced far apart and it has never been a bad thing. I have always been happy with how it has worked out. I have never had two in diapers at the same time ( Bonus!) I was 33 when I had my youngest and I will not lie it was definitely a more difficult pregnancy, but part of that was brought on by myself, I gained way more weight than I should have. My kids are 15, 10 and soon to be 4...they are amazingly close and love each other a lot. We have had very few problems with the kids getting along. It was not the best situation but I even had the two boys sharing a bedroom for a while before we were able to move some place bigger, if a teenager and a toddler can share a bedroom that is love for sure! I wish you so much joy...your daughter may have a period of adjustment, but she will come around. I know my daughter insisted she was not going to love her baby sibling "If" it wasn't a girl baby ( She desperately wanted a sister) but trust me...she got over it quickly!

My children are 12 1/2 years apart and it has never been a problem. The had their fights but the oldest always took the younger one by the hand and was her hmmm 2nd momma. I on the other hand had a more difficult pregnancy at 35 with the youngest but nothing really bad...Now am also raising a grandchild that is 7 years younger than my youngest and they fight like well cats and dogs but they have their good moments too. While they are Aunt and niece you would never know it. The advantage is they can do some helping with the baby and still have time for the older child. If I had to do it again do not know that I would let it go 12 1/2 years but do think 5 or 6 is good if you want more time with each newborn and the older child. good luck

my daughter was 6 when I had my first son. second son came 15 months later. and then 6 years after that the last son. so I have 2 sets of 6 years apart. pluses are the older one is more self sufficient in many ways. so no dealing with screaming crying infants at the same time. another plus is that both babies had the chance to feel like an only. my oldest was a huge help with all the youngers. the youngest came along so much later than the next one that we had to start completely over with everything as at the 5 year mark we got rid of everything. you have more patience in the middle of the night as your only doing it for a short time as opposed to having babies one after another and feeling like your sleep deprived for years rather than months.

My daughter's half-brother and sister were 17 and 19 when she was born! I was 41. Things work out the way they're supposed to, I guess! She is now 9. Her brother is married has three young children, so her nieces and nephew feel almost like her siblings and she loves it.

I don't have kids that age gap... but that is my plan. I have a 2 1/2 year old and want to wait until she is about 5 to have a second. Many reasons, mainly financial, but also I want to spend time with my little girl while she is little. I am closest to my sister who is ten years younger than me... ( I also have a sister 3 yrs younger who I was never close with) so kids get along at all different age groups.

LOL...I became a first time mom at age 50!! I adopted, however, but she was a newborn. There are NO negatives to your age or the age difference in your children. My sister and I were 15 years apart (same parents) and we are closer than ever. We even live on the same block and our girls are 13 months apart in age. The positive is that you won't have them in college at the same time (two tuitions!). When you become a mommy again, join the web group, "Motherhood Later Than Sooner". We are all mother age 35+.

I got pregnant with my 1st and 2nd child, after 35 years old.
Got pregnant naturally each time.
It was a good normal pregnancy.
But, I did have a 3rd pregnancy, but that ended in miscarriage.

My kids are 4 years apart.
Just so happened. It is great.
My kids get along, my daughter was at an age to adapt well and not a baby herself etc., when I had my 2nd child.

It all depends on how the siblings get along and adapt.
An older child, will still need attention too.
But, they are more 'mature' by then, if a baby comes along.
They can also help.
But always be aware of age related phases/development.

My Husband and one brother are about 6 years apart. The other brothers are much older. They all get along.

It also depends, on how you, incorporate your eldest child, into the new realm of having a baby around. They need to adapt too. And how you teach the children... about what a sibling is, what a new baby is, how to make the eldest child not feel left out, etc. And how to ALLOW, the eldest sibling/child... to also have their own things, and not 'have to' share everything, by default.
Not expecting the eldest to be an 'example' for the baby or younger child. But to be a part... of things, too.
An older child, will have their own needs/phases/and be more independent too. They will need, their OWN alone time too etc. And their own activities etc. And their own routines. Because of the age difference. The interests, of the eldest child, will also be different.

I'm preggers with #2 and I'm 35. Not much different than when I was 32, a little less comfortable but otherwise normal. I've been offered a couple of more screenings (my choice as to whether or not I want them--genetic/ultra screen) than with my first but really, women are having healthy babies into their 40s.

Personally, I'm a fan of having kids further apart than closer together. There's no guarantee that they'll get along just because they are closer in age (that seems to be the #1 reason my friends offer for that choice). Theoretically, the first will be out of college before you have to worry about paying for the second. Same with cars and other major expenses. Plus, the older child is so much more helpful than having to worry about 2 in diapers/potty training/etc.

My girlfriend has 2 daughters, 13 years apart, and she was 3 days short of her 40th bday with #2. They are so cute together! But in essence, she is raising two only children.... and as an only myself, I'm all for onlys too!

You sound like you are telling my story! I am expecting my 2nd right now, I am about 8 1/2 months. My son turned 7 in February and is finishing first grade. I will be 36 when I have the baby, unless it arrives in the next 8 days (my birthday is june 10th).

It sounds like you have many of the same concerns that I have. I certainly never planned on such a large age gap! I am just focusing on making sure that I have friends and family lined up to help my husband and I to make sure that our son gets to do some special things, since I won't be able to be as on-the-go this summer as we usually are. I also am thinking of the future. My son has had so much one-on-one time with his Grandparents
(as well as his parents) and I want to be sure that my second gets some of that same attention, too, when he or she gets older. I will need to remind my son that sometimes Grandpa will take him fishing alone, and sometimes the younger one, and things like that since, obviously, a 3 year old is not going to stay out in a boat as long as a 10 year old will!

I think that I am more tired this time around, but it could just be my job, too. I know that technically it makes me a "higher risk" due to my age, but it is not like you turn 35 and BOOM things go bad. Just remember that it CAN take a bit longer to get pregnant than it did in younger years. I used the ovulation calendar on babycenter.com and it worked great for me.

Good luck and just remember that things will all work out :)

My son was 4 days shy of turning 5yo when I had my daughter this past January. I was 33 when I had him and 38 w/her. The second pregnancy was harder only b/c I was much sicker (morning sickness). I did see a specialist along w/my OB only due to my advanced maternal age but I was not high risk and had no complications. My son loves his sister and calls her his baby...LOL! There's been no jealousy and he's such a great helper. The age gap is a blessing and I couldn't have planned this any better myself. My best to you!!

Yep, I'm there too. I'm 43 with an 8 year old and a 4 1/2 month old! Both boys. We tried and tried for #2 and was diagnosed w/ ovarian failure at age 37, fertility doc gave us no chance of conceiving on our own, so we didn't use any birth control for 6 years( had early menopause symptoms, thyroid issues) and our little "surprise" was born this past January! We couldn't be more thrilled, but it is strange going thru it all again when all of your friends kids are older. I still can't believe the baby is mine some days, he is truly a little miracle! I am enjoying every moment with him (even the sleepless ones). My advice would be not to wait, or at least get a fertility workup. I am a bit more tired at this age, and lifting him is getting to be a challenge. I was considered "high risk" due to my "advanced maternal age" and had to go to a specialist in addition to my OB. I had no complications other than gestational diabetes, but I managed that just fine with diet and delivery was very quick and no problems. My older son loves the baby so much and is a HUGE help.
Good Luck! :)

Hi J.!
My older son is 11 years old and the little one is 5 years old. So far so good, they have their arguments and fights sometimes but nothing big. When my second son was born I tried to pay attention to the older one as much as I could . The older one gets a little jealous, but giving him attention, love, and patience helps a lot. It is not easy, but always involve your older kid in things you do. Bedtime is a perfect time to cuddle him/her and talk with kids, and at least an hour daily just for the older one is very good!
On other hand, always take help from a friend or relative who wants to help you!
I had my last baby at the age of 43. Both of my pregnancies were pretty good, with the last kid, the last month was a little more delicate since I had preclampsia, but everything turned out well. During my both pregnancies I exercised every day for 20 min., walking (not the lazy walking....) and at the beginning even tennis! I ate healthy and I drink lots of water and natural juices and I never missed an appointment with my OB/Gyn. All depends on your health and lifestyle, but I think you can do it very well!

I have an only child but we are starting to think of having another one. My daughter is almost 5 years old, so almost the same timeline as you. For the past 4 1/2 years I really did not want another one, but I am changing my mind. It is strange because I really, really thought that I wanted only one now I really really want another child.

A good friend has two kids about 4 years apart. She said the biggest plus is she was able to really enjoy both kids as a baby. The older one could plan alone longer so she was not quickly taking care of baby's needs then jumping to a young toddler's need. I have noticed that they two do not always get along, but what siblings do get along all the time? There is going to be the "I am older, do what I want" said a lot, I have heard it from my friend's older one so you will just have to correct it.

My mom's sister was born when she was in college! I have talked a lot to my mom about the space, because if hubby & I have another one there is going to be 6-10 year gap between my daughter and baby. My mom said that it was having such a fun sister, but since there was such a huge gap they hardly lived together. They never had sibling fights. At first they had trouble connecting due to age (about 18 years apart) but down the road when her sister was in college they really connected. Now they would do almost anything for each other, they talk often and get together when they can (live about 4 hours apart).

My oldest is 12, youngest almost 8, and I'm expecting now. It is harder past 30, but at 35 most risks are still minimal. (I'm 33 now, but still close)
The advantages are that you will have more time to focus on the baby than if you had a two-year-old or something, and you will have the advantage of experience (although every child is different, it gives you perspective). Some studies suggest that 5 years or more between kids may be related to higher IQ and/or aptitude in school, etc.

I was 32 with my first, and 37 with my 2nd. They get along great. My daughter is the oldest, and is a wonderful, protective sister to her brother. How you raise them makes them close or not. If you share things with both of them together and spend quality time as a family, they will be close. Not to say that they don't both need one on one time with mom, but the "sharing" concept works. My sister and I are 5 years apart and we're super close. You're not too old to have a baby. (Your OB may label you as "AMA" which means advanced maternal age, but it's a code they use for anyone pregnant over the age of 35. I was offended at first, because it made me feel like a 75 year old-LOL!) My 2nd pregnancy was more difficult, but all worth it! Good luck!

Well my kids 5 1/2 years apart and they rarely had arguments other than the slovenly ways of the little one. They could not share a bedroom.

If children are more than 6 years apart they are like two only children. In the case of my daughters there was lots of interaction. Once both were in school they made friends with two sets of sisters who were four years apart and did many visits and activities with those families.
I found traveling with one harder than traveling with two.