This was posted on Facebook today.. good reminders for all of us.
I borrowed this from a teacher friend: Well said Kathi S.
"Tonight, a lot of creatures will visit your door. Be open minded. The child who is grabbing more than one piece of candy might have poor fine motor skills. The child who takes forever to pick out one piece of candy might have motor planning issues. The child who does not say "trick or treat" or "thank you" might be painfully shy, non-verbal, or selectively mute. If you cannot understand the words, they may struggle with developmental apraxia of speech. They are thankful in their hearts and minds. The child who looks disappointed when he sees your bowl might have a life-threatening allergy. The child who isn't wearing a costume at all might have SPD or autism. Be kind, be patient, smile, pretend you understand. It's everyone's Halloween. Make a parent feel good by making a big deal of their special child."
You are correct, Never, never have we had hooligans for Halloween. I feel sorry for all of you that have had this happen to you. I guess we live where these types of things do not happen. We also do not mind if people not from our neighborhood bring their children. We think, the more the merrier. The children say thank you.. They look so excited. Sorry you all do not enjoy the evening the way we do.
And my step moms sister is Downs. we loved taking her trick or treating. She still loves it and is now in her 40's.. The neighbors are all very sweet to her and always admire her costume. She loves giving hugs as thank yous and they all are very polite about it.
This quote is so wonderful. It applies all year round; not just as Halloween.
I don't understand the comments about hooligans and out of control kids who do damage. This quote has absolutely nothing to do with them.
Thanks for posting this L.. Sorry you are getting bashed by some for having good intent :(
Happy Halloween!
Its funny, I have a spectrum kid and I hate it. Sorry but I never let Andy go around by himself until he was old enough to articulate his needs. What parent would?
It is just a stupid meme to make us feel guilty for wondering why the punk kid down the street grabbed half the bowl.
Sorry but parents of kids with special needs hover, you are well aware if there is a legitimate issue causing their behavior. I mean seriously, your kid has a peanut allergy, go for it sugar, I will be here with the epi pen? I think not.
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He is 13, I am training him for answering the door and giving out the candy, still hovering!
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I think my problem is this is insulting. It is a meme for the person who wrote it, who clearly has never actually been touched by a special needs person. That is the problem with memes it is not about helping anyone, it is about the writer's fifteen minutes of fame. To me it is get it another way, leave my child's issues out of it.
I saw it and thought it was sweet, but felt like adding a "And if they are just an ungrateful kid with bad manners, hey, it's Halloween, let it go"...Cuz sometimes the world just feels a little too "sympathetic" to misbehavior...but again, yes, it's nice.
We have to be told this? Is being polite and patient (to kids no less) so out of vogue it needs to be justified now? Sorry but this is the way I always act and I don't do it for the reasons above. I do it because I can't imagine acting any other way and it's the right thing to do.
i always, always always have a smile and a cheerio attitude during halloween. and we get plenty of trickatreaters. a lot of people 'boycotted' halloween today because of the damage sandy has caused, while our kids didn't go tricka treating, i had plenty of candy for those who knocked on our door. if i can make someone's day better, why wouldn't i.
I am glad you shared this.
We always get tons of kids in our neighborhood (many from outside our neighborhood) and some folks complain. I just buy extra candy because I know parents come here because our city has a real gang problem and our neighborhood is safer than the ones some kids live in. So I would add to this list. Be generous with kids not from your neighborhood because you do not know how things are where they live.
I've seen this, too. It's sweet. Thanks for putting this on here, L..
Dawn
I got that and then added selective mutism to mine, and passed it on. My DD has Selective Mutism and TOTing is hard because 1 - she can't say trick or treat and 2- she is unable to say "thank you". We sometimes get people who want to make her say it or stare at her withholding candy waiting for a "trick or treat". It's frustrating.
Yes, I saw this yesterday and LOVED it! This was actually the first year that no one got short with my son. I have 3, and my oldest might have ADHD, and although I do my best to be right behind him to help remind him of etiquette, sometimes other little kids get between us (between my oldest, and me and my youngest who I am pushing in a stroller) and I can't be right over his shoulder to assist him and remind him of manners.
This is sweet and a good reminder!
And yes, our house has been egged and some friends of my sons did an awesome job TPing our house. My older son cleaned it up.
My 16 year old is out trick or treating right now. It makes me cringe because I dislike the wild groups of teenagers who come to my door. So I gave him the lecture on being nice and staying safe. Here's hoping he's one of the polite kids out tonight.
While I understand the intent, statistically speaking, most children ARE NOT special needs. Most of the kids who are acting like brats...really are just brats.
I pass candy out myself, so grabbing or choosing isn't even an issue. You can usually tell who is "painfully shy, non-verbal, or selectively mute." They tend not to do so well with the eye contact, and LOOK a bit scared. And I don't care if they mumble or don't speak as long as they're in costume.
As for life threatening allergies? Their parents are at fault for bringing them out where they WILL be exposed to nuts, chocolate and milk products. I like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Almond Joy. I'm sorry. You can't control the entire world. Throw your own hypoallergenic party.
BUT...I always smile and give out goodies. Bring your kid in costume...that's all I ask. And if you DO have "just a brat," I won't say anything, but for goodness sakes, teach him some manners.
Um.
You obviously have not been egged or TP'd before or found your mailbox filled with shaving cream or your windows soaped - if you are lucky - waxed if you are not.
You don't have a neighborhood where car fulls of inner city kids come in to demand candy or they'll smash your pumpkin or pee on your Halloween display - while you watch.
The parents just sit in the car at the end of the block.
Some trick-or-treaters are not special needs - they are thugs and vandals.
It totally ruins the holiday for everyone.
It's best if kids go to houses they know where the people know the kids.
I saw this earlier and re-posted on FB. It is a good reminder for us all. Be kind to all---
I saw that also, and also shared it......
The child we went trick or treating with is almost non verbal. One of the reasons we went along was because DD, who is very verbal and a year older, could sing out "Trick or Treat" and "Thank You!" for them both. His mom did occasionally mention that he doesn't really talk so people understood. People were very kind.
I had not seen this but thanks for posting.
Thanks for posting...it will make me stop and think before judging other's kids. However, I totally agree with Jo W. If one's child has such issues, I would expect the parent to be hovering nearby to help teach appropriate Trick-or-Treating etiquette.
This is what happened in our neck of the woods last night:
Our Canadian Halloween of 2012:
While out last night chaperoning three girls from a slight distance, in the frigid, compared-to-where-we-came-from-hotter-than-h*ll Phoenix oven, it was only 25 degrees with ice and snow.
There are two important things I observed: most Halloween costumes look pretty good stuffed over snow pants and heavy jackets and boots.
And then, this really happened, as the
girls are knocking on the front door that's seemingly taking forever to open, and I am standing at the requested distance away from the 5th grade girls (on the street), three same age boys approach the same house and notice the three girls already waiting for someone to open the door, one boy says to his friends,
"Oh, let's wait for them to finish up before we go up there."
And no kidding, they all stopped and waited and chatted. I am still speechless. I have never witnessed such polite Trick-Or-Treating etiquette.
True to their international reputation, Canadians are just so nice :)
The truth is, I eventually asked the boys to go up and help the girls out a bit by re-wringing the doorbell because it was taking too long for me.
I had the painfully shy child who wouldn't talk....he now can be a boisterous pre teen. He will go trick or treating this weekend. He will show manners or he will go back home. His brother is not so shy. We are the family that doesn't live in the neighborhood. Where we live the houses are too far apart to really trick or treat. We go with friends who live in a development. I am grateful that we can go to a safe neighborhood. I however, take candy to pass out too. I feel if we are gatecrashing, we can contribute too! Thank you to all who keep the spirit, spooky, crazy or just plain friendly!
Beautiful!!!!!! Thank you L. & kathi !!!!!!
Yes, I posted this on my own site. My son has autism and he is very likely to do any one of those "quirky" behaviors. I very much appreciate it when people make an attempt to be understanding rather than just judging him!
You dont have to read this its more a vent than anything!!! Ty!!!!
A few days later and a womans comment still is in my mind! We did not celebrate Halloween as kids and I truly did not know there were rules! Like the one piece of candy at a time. My husband hands out two or three at a time depending on the type of candy. This year we bought chocolate bars and it was one funsize per kid. My daughter who is two and a half grabbed two pieces of candy as the lady remarked. She was so discusted and appauled. I almost told katie to put some back but the lady was still offended that I wasnt sure if that would offend her to put them back? It quickly turned into get the heck outta here. I told my daughter to only take one piece from ppl. Then I told the lady I was supprised how full her basket was compaired to my sons.Apologized and she still seemed very upset my daughter took two. I felt bad for the lady. I was standing at the sidewalk. I like for my kids to be independent and will often give my son a dollar and get change at restraunts with me watching from a distance. I like for them to learn on there own how to live on there own. Thats what this part of life is. My daugher just started talking to people a month ago. She is learning and developing quickly. She was so offended over candy. A situation where I would have thought could have been blown over is really still on my mind! Next year I will explain the rules of Halloween BEFORE we go out. BTW this list actually helps me with the rules. We do say thank you and either happy halloween or trick or treat. And only trick or treaters who are present get candy there isnt any weird sick kid at home. Although we always give knowing its the parent who wants candy. lol
Where is Kathi S's post? What did she say?
This is very sweet I think. A good reminder that we must mindfully consider the children that we don't know who come to our houses on Halloween. Sure some may be hoodlums, but some may struggle with something they have little control over. However, my 4 yr old grabbed more than one piece of candy b/c he WANTED to, not b/c of any motor skills issues. Ha. And even then, he didn't pick out the Butterfingers for ME!
