Hey J.,
Sadly, I am a surgery pro...I've had 21! Ony 5 of them were female related and thankfully I have not had a problem with incontinence much to the surprise of my doctor, gyno, and urogynecologist. I have had a hysterctomy and cystocele, rectocele, enterocele repair. I had propylene mesh surgically implanted to hold me together, but it was too tight. The uro loosened it surgically with only a minimal decrease in pain. Finally, it was removed because I couldn't stand the pain. I have been offered injections of botox, (which would increase the probability of urinary incontinence or fecal incontinence), and PT...pelvic floor therapy. I must say that though I am not pain free, I have had a marked decrease in the pain. I tell you all this because pelvic floor therapy is not a well known branch of medicine. My therapist is a wonderful woman and treats many women with your problem quite successfully. Of course you have to be motivated and it sounds like you are. There would be exercises to do, but you can do them in the car or at your job without anybody knowing that you're doing them. I would explore that option before letting them inject you or perform surgery that leaves adhesions and other problems.
Good luck,
KKM