Has Anyone Put Their Baby on a Sleep Schedule? How Did You Do It?

I also used Baby Wise, literally from day 1, and would recommend it. While it didn't work exactly as they said for my son, I thought the schedule was a great thing for all of us. Hope it helps.

In my opinion, it is best to let baby set his/her schedule. When they are very little, and even through the 6th month, babies are really only concerned with eating, sleeping, and eliminating. They eat when they are hungry, sleep when they are tired, and eliminate when they need to. I found my daughter put herself on her own schedule. She nursed every 2-3 hours and slept in between. As she got older she would be able to stay awake longer during the day. For the longest time her 'awake' limit was 2 hours. Then she would get cranky and I knew it was nap time.

I nursed through the night for a year. Now, I do not nurse in the middle of the night. She still wakes once during that time, but her diaper is always very wet. I change her and she goes right back to sleep.

I always try to remember my daughter is her own person. She is not me so my schedules might not work for her. She is a morning person. And, even though I am not... I do my best to be up and active in the morning so I don't miss her best part of the day.

IF you are going to put baby on a schedule, remember that for the first 6 weeks baby NEEDS to be fed every 2-3 hours ROUND THE CLOCK. During this crucial time in baby's life her body doesn't store and metabolise food. So her brain is ONLY GETTING FOOD WHEN YOU FEED HER. I'm not pulling this out of my butt. I've researched it AND my pediatrician told me this as well. So, be sure for the first 6 weeks baby is being fed every 2-3 hours. After that, baby's body starts being able to store food (fat) and relase it when the body needs it.

Second, in my opinion watching closely what baby's natural tendencies are will assist in putting baby on a schedule. I kept a close eye on my daughters' natural tendencies for hunger and sleep and then, as I said, she put herself on a schedule.

Third, keep in mind EVERY BABY IS DIFFERENT. My daughter has never been a great sleeper. From DAY 1, she didn't like to be put down, alwasy wanted to be held, etc... However, friends of ours whose daughter is only 3 days younger then ours, she... from Day 1 has always been content to just lie around and watch the world go by. She would lay in her playpen and not be bothered by anything. My daughter, never. If she wasn't sleeping she hated being in hers.

So, my point is that we can't choose what kind of baby we will get. I would have LOVED to have a baby that slept through the night at 3 months. But, that is not my daughter. Whenever she would be on the brink of a new skill, or going through a growth spurt, or something like that it would interrupt her sleep and we would have a week or so of bad nights. But I know other babies (whose mommy's and daddy's do not practice babywise or anything and have similar parenting styles to my husband and I) who sleep just fine and always have.

Your baby is an individual. Listen to what she tells you. You'll get along just fine. And yes, it is good to find balance with your new baby and other members of the family. But remember, it isn't just up to you to make everything work. You need to talk to your husband, let him know what you need from HIM so that you have the energy to give to him. It can't be ALL on your shoulders to make things work. New mommy's need help. Daddy needs to pitch in as well. Also, sometimes as new mommy's we don't SEE when we need help. We think we can do it all. Hubby needs to pay attention to us as well... notice when he thinks you may be stretched a little. Notice when you need a break. Offer to take the kids. Offer to send you off for a massage. It's funny...but marriage is a two way street. Yes, you need to find balance and give energy to your marriage. But, kids ARE needy. Kids do NOT understand that we have to spread the mommy wealth. Husbands are adults and should understand that we aren't super women.

So, please... don't try to do it all on your own. You're a FAMILY. That means that everyone works together. When each memeber (and I realize your 22 month old really can't) does his or her part then the family machine hums along beautifully.

I saw a couple of the posts about letting the baby set her schedule and nursing through the night for a year. You're obviously wanting to avoid that. The people who've been sleeping know that you need to direct your little one's schedule. Babywise is the best source out there for that purpose! START RIGHT FROM THE HOSPITAL! If you don't, you'll have to "re-train" the baby and listen to more crying which is so hard on a new hormonal mommy! ;o)

My boys slept through the night at 7 weeks and 3.5 weeks old and everyone is happier when mommy gets her sleep! You can do it! The baby is looking to you to teach her. That schedule of eat/wake/sleep is key as is getting the full feeding. I would strip my little guys down and gently tickle their feet or back to keep them awake the first couple weeks because they'd fall asleep during the feedings and wouldn't want to finish. Then they're on the boob all day long! (and again, mommy is sore and tired and cranky!)

You'll do great! Some people think it's harsh but you will see how well it works. You don't have to be on a strict 3 hour schedule. Remember to make it work for your family.

Congratulations!
:o) G.

Congratulations on your upcoming birth! I'm sure your family is very excited.

I know that a lot of folks like to schedule babies, but I have major problems with those methods. Think about this - are your needs able to be met on a schedule all the time? Babies don't understand time and space and where you are when you're not next to them. I'm all in favor of following your baby's lead and cues. This has been done for many generations and the family benefits from accommodating the needs of the youngest member while your baby gets both their physical and emotional needs met. I'm not saying it's easy but if we wanted an easy life, we shouldn't have become parents.

I have also used Baby Wise and have found it soooo helpful! It's all about a feed-wake-cycle and helps the baby establish wake/sleep patterns. If you like to plan and know what to expect (to a certain degree), it's a great thing rather than just demand feeding. I also used it flexibly....you can't just stick to a schedule because it's a schedule. But really, for the most part, they are able to fall into patterns.

I'm pregnant with our third baby also and will be using this again. I recommend reading the book and using for yourself whatever fits your family. IT's a great base to start from.

I used babywise, just not to it's fullest extent. Which the book even says to use a little common sense in the feeding department which is the part I may not have followed to the t.

Babywise worked wonderful for us, but we just have one. We fed her when she woke everytime except at night of course. She still at almost 5 goes to bed by 8 pm. Many families in my nieghborhood are very jelous because thier kids go to bed at the same time they do which means no adult time. I like my unwind adult time, and our lives are much more at peace because of it.

N., I HIGHLY reccommend the BabyWise series. While i do think that babies can't really be on a set schedule when they are under 2 or 3 months, i do think the book offers some VERY valuable principles that will help later on. Some of the things i took away from the book, are to be sure to put the baby down while he/she is awake from a very early age, don't always feed the baby to sleep, and that every time the baby cries, he/she doesn't necessarily need to be fed...babies cry for other reasons. also, the book talks about hunger patterns, and the importance of giving your baby a full feeding, rather than feeding every time he/she cries, which i found to be great, and my little girl was a great eater and sleeper.

Don't just read the first book read the series...the second one is about the age 5mo-15 mo. the book also talks about getting the baby to function around your schedule, which is important to maintain your marriage relationship as well as taking care of your other kids!

congrats, and happy reading!

The early weeks and first couple of months after a baby is born can be very intense. I would suggest allowing the baby to let you know how often he/she needs to feed. This intense period doesn't last that long. Without any major changes, your baby will gradually stretch the time between feeds, and therefor sleep longer.

When you artificially stretch the time between nursings, your baby has the potential to lose weight. Instead I'd suggest resting, by putting your feet up and letting your little ones watch a video.

If you run into difficulties with balance you might want to seek some help from either an LC or a local La Leche League Leader.

Congratulations on your soon to be born baby.

N.,
I highly recommend Babywise for you. Both of my sons slept thru the night by nine weeks. Sleeping thru the night 8-9 hours and that's with breastmilk only. Read the book it will give you the information you need and start it the first week you are home. Congrats on the new baby. J.

I highly recommend Baby Wise. Make sure you read through the whole book. I've heard of a lot of moms who didn't read the whole book and make judgements on it. Baby Wise doesn't encourage you to starve your child as many say it does. It just encourages setting a schedule. My son is now almost three and he still benefits from Baby Wise. I honestly think he's a happier kid, because we did it.

I would recommend against it. BabyWise doesn't take into account the need to breastfeed on demand. Doing so is cruicial to establishing your milk supply. When your baby wants to suck on something you should offer your breast, as it will stimulate and help your milk supply. BabyWise discourages that.

If you do decide to go with BabyWise, follow it loosely. Make your own schedule and be flexible! Your baby knows what she wants more than any book!

As for what I used, I breastfeed my daughter on demand and we co-sleep; I recommend perfecting side-lie nursing! I am not sleep deprived in the mornings and my daughter eats on a loose schedule (set by her) during the day. She knows when she's hungry! It's a baby's job to grow, and they need all the nutrients they can get, as often as they can! She is now 6.5 months old and has been sleeping through the night since I brought her into our bed at 3 weeks.

Yes, I also recommend Baby Wise. My sister in law followed it to a T and I find that a little bit ....irritating sometimes. You need to be able to go with the flow sometimes, especially when you have someone watch your kids etc. I read the book and used it to give me advice on how to start my baby (6th one) sleeping through the night. He was 6 months old and I was exhausted and I needed to sleep! I let him cry (but he was older) and it was hard but with the help (and daily phone calls) to one of my friends that used it for all three of hers (and they were all on sleeping schedules by 2 months) we made it and to this day he has an awesome nap and goes down by 7:30. It works. And it helps you to recognize your baby's needs and to handle the crying in different ways. They don't always need to eat, sometimes theya re just tired! I was a "on-demand" feeder in the past with my others and this was so much better. Of course, at first it was on demand but after a few months I slowly put him on a 2 hour then 3 hour schedule and he adjusted to that. It helped with so much. Like getting things done! so good luck and find a cheerleader so that you don't give in and end up feeling way chaotic and overwhelmed by 6 months!

Yes, yes, yes! I can not recommend Baby wise enough! I have also bumped into others who did it and they agreed that it brought such peace and order to the home. Now.... I didn't stick to it like glue. It was a guideline for me to follow but adjust as needed.

I have a great 'cheat sheet' that roughly explains what the schedule would look like for certain ages (in weeks old - not years old). It also really help me understand why my baby was doing certain things. Example: at a set number of weeks old and months old the baby will wake up after sleeping for 45 mins when they usually sleep 1 1/2 hours. That is because they are going through a growth spirt. The book explains what to do.

PM me with your email if you would like a copy of that break down. It makes it easy to follow when you are sleep deprived. : )

We've done babywise from the very beginning thru our church class called Growing Kids God's way- babywise is the secular version. ;) Son is now one year, has been sleeping thru the night since 6 weeks. Just do it! Beware of naysayers that offer you their "opinions"- babywise is chock full of science. Most haven't even read the book!

I found the book the Baby Whisperer very helpful for each of my babies (my third is 3 months old). Each baby was different in terms of how soon they slept, but so far, my little girl is doing great! She began sleeping from 8:30pm - 3:30am at 6 weeks. She will nurse and go right back to sleep until morning, so I don't have that new baby exhausted feeling!

Good luck, and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!

Hi N.,

Congrats on your pregnancy! I have been skimming the responses so far, and as I expected, there are a lot of differing opinions. I think the most important thing is that you do what works best for you, your baby, and your family as a whole. (It sounds as if this is your goal anyway.) I would also suggest that whatever method or ideas you try, that you don't feel obligated to stick with it if it isn't working for you and don't let anyone make you feel as if you have made a wrong choice because you didn't do what they did. We tried BabyWise with our first daughter and it did not work for us for many reasons (our daughter was a month early, very jaundiced, had acid reflux, and I discovered that I became physically ill when we tried to let her "cry it out"). I felt like such a failure when I couldn't do BabyWise (I admit it has been a while since we read it so I don't remember all the details)which certainly didn't help the PPD I was dealing with. Our first daughter did not sleep through the night steadily until 12 months, but she did have a routine (I believe this is more important than a schedule) and she was such a happy baby once she got over the acid reflux that people always commented on her smiles. If you and your family like a lot of order and schedule, then it makes sense to try to have your baby on a schedule (within reason). My hubby and I found that a strict schedule actually burdened us if our kids couldn't be flexible with when they ate or slept. We also discovered how different each child is as I'm sure you realize with two already in your family. Our second daughter slept through the night (8-9 hours) at 6 weeks. I did NOT do BabyWise with her and actually fed her on demand a TON (had to because of jaundice)in the night the first couple weeks. So, a baby can sleep well without a strong schedule. Anyway, I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well and that things go as smoothly as possible for you when Baby 3 arrives.
Rachael

I have 4 little ones, and have chosen NOT to try to force their schedules. They are 9,6,3,and 1, and were/are breastfed on demand and slept with me until I was into my next pregnancy and they began pushing my tummy during the night (that was fine with me until there was another precious one in there!), then they got their own bed, then another room, gradually and in a progression as their maturity advanced. By about 2 - 2 1/2 they were sleeping in their own room and stayed there throughout the night. Once they moved out of Mama's bed, their last breastfeed was usually right before bed. (At that age, they liked it (and still insisted on it) and it was more of a cuddle with Mama.)

Cuddle time with older ones after the birth of a new baby -- with us, we often cuddle while the baby is suckling, and the older ones like to watch the baby, too, and help as much as they can, getting diapers, blankets, cloths, anything needed, even water or snacks for Mama. They love to help (usually), and are willing to understand when Mama can't get up and run all over the place for them -- let them do the running (including laundry!) and help them understand that much of Mama's energy is going into making milk for the baby and recovering from the birth. Sometimes I would also read to the older ones while breastfeeding the baby, have them eat a snack, do a worksheet, etc. You may find, too, that scheduling actually gets easier with more little ones. The baby will very soon be wanting to do what the others are doing, and will be "running off to play" even before you are completely ready for it. Cherish this time, and let your children feel your joy in them, even when you are most exasperated, they will respond and remember those feelings, even if it's not immediately obvious.

Hubby time - it's a real partnership. Things have gotten easier over the years as the realization has developed that Mama will attend to Papa too when she possibly can, and with the baby with her (usually) [we call us the Mama-baby unit] and Papa has been more helpful, especially in the early weeks -- taking care of dinner and the older children and he began to get an idea of the daily challenges & responsibilities that are so ubiquitous they are rarely mentioned, and Mama has learned how to communicate more clearly exactly what she wants and not be frustrated that he didn't see it himself. Men are NOT women, and sometimes, things obvious to women are just not noticed/recognized by men. As an example, one time after a new baby, the floor needed vacuumed and I was finding it on my mind, but I was not able to do it. I asked Papa, "Will you please vacuum the floor?" He was so happy to do it, to do anything at all to help in any way, and he had had no idea that it was dirty and needed anything! I learned a valuable lesson -- what was obvious to me wasn't to him, and he was very desirous to help, but didn't know how unless I was very explicit in what I wanted and when I wanted it (right now, not next week).

Sleep - if you sleep with your baby, your sleep cycles actally adjust to the baby's, so that you come out of a deep sleep about the same time the baby does, so that you wake up about the same time, and can feed the baby before it wakes anyone else up. If you have the baby next to you in bed, you can simply "hook up" and go back to sleep while the baby suckles, and roll over (with the baby) when it's time to switch sides (often the next feeding--you'll know). For diapers, I keep a supply within reach and a diaper pail within easy toss distance (in the dark), and change as needed (in the dark as much as possible). Dr. Sears' book "Nighttime Parenting" explains the sleep cycles really well. By morning, both Mom and baby have had all their sleep, and neither are sleep deprived.

Sleeping arrangements -- now, even though Mama had a great sleep, Papa was not able to deal with all of the extra movement. Conclusion, we got another bed for him. :) It is placed right next to the big one, and so we have the proximity, but he is insulated from the movements of others and can get his sleep. Further, we eventually put the mattresses on the floor and did away with the frame and box, so when the baby rolls off the bed he doesn't have far to go, and there is no harm done. Also, Papa has the continued connection to both Mama and baby.

Sleeping through the night -- ! Well, every baby is different. With my 4, there has been a range. I've had two that stayed hooked up all night through, especially first. He wanted to be hooked up night and day for about his whole first year! My second slept through at about 3 months. My third stayed hooked up much of the night. My fourth, he slept through the night from nearly the beginning, and only began suckling more at night when he began to get so active and busy during the day that he wouldn't feed unless he was starving or sleeping -- I could encourage all I wanted, he was just too busy! Now, his biggest feeds are right as he's falling asleep about 8 at night and when he begins to wake in the morning about 5:30 - 6. Through the day, Mama is more like a drinking fountain. :)

Through it all, we have grown and adjusted as a family, and have learned (and continue learning) how to adjust to each other and our various needs, both night and day. BTW, naptime can be for Mama as well as the children, even the older children. Further, we have grown closer together as we've served each other and tried to be understanding of our various needs. For a baby, that has meant feeding and suckling according to the baby's needs (especially at first, its wants ARE its needs) and your milk supply will meet the baby's needs (unless you don't let it have it when it wants it). Remember also that it will feed much more often during growth spurts to increase your milk supply, and if you don't respond and try to stick to some schedule that doesn't make sense to the baby, you likely won't have enough milk to feed your growing baby, and it won't be very happy, either. Overall, the baby knows when he needs something, though he doesn't necessarily know what he needs, and it is good to respond to his needs. As you do, you will grow closer to the baby and all the members of your family and will be able to read the needs of your older children and husband better, too. The similarities are amazing, even though I found them unexpected at first! :)

Good luck, and sorry it's such a long response!

Well I have to just agree with GINNY B

BabyWise is a Godsend! I can't say enough good about it! I have found that the people who have the most negative things to say, haven't read it or applied it. For example, one post said it doesn't consider demand-breastfeeding. Thats true to an extent...but instead it addresses WHY demand feeding is not a good idea...such as foremilk/hindmilk, getting a full feeding, organizing blood glucose levels/patterns, organizing sleep routines...etc, you'll get the idea when you read it. You have to be smart enough to know when your baby needs to eat/wake/sleep...the book tells you that over and over! The idea is to work TOWARD a routine...not implement a strict schedule leaving a hungry baby to cry for food. Who would do that?? It is by far the best way to get in tune with your baby's needs and anticipate them so baby can anticipate what comes next. This makes for a much happeir baby AND mom!

That said, only you can decide what parenting style works for you. I am wholeheartedly against attachment parenting...I believe that if baby still needed my womb, God wouldn't have made them born at 40 weeks gestation. But that's what MY view is, not somebody elses. You will not find your parenting style in one particular book...you may find that BabyWise works well for you, but their view on crying it out doesn't (that's the way it worked for us)....or something else in the book may not work for you. I know that I have children who are confident, well adjusted and well behaved and I get endless compliments. I give all the credit to the ideas that we implemented from BabyWise! I often tell people that I wish I could show some moms the way their lives COULD be if they would just start parenting and stop reacting. It really is as simple as that!

Good luck to you!

~L.

PS...it was brought to my attention that I typed eat/sleep/play...instead of the eat/wake/sleep cycle that makes babywise so successful. I wasn't necessarily listing and order as much as I was pointing out those 3 values so sorry if that confused anybody! Babywise is second to the Bible in our house (lol) and I reference it to this day, as well as using the entire series for parenting my older children! Just thought I'd correct it!

It works for some, not for others. Be in tune to your baby. They may need more or less food, sleep, or stimulation than what the schedule allows. Why put your baby to sleep when they are awake and want to learn? Why keep them awake when they are exhausted and need to grow? And how can you let them cry when they need you? What does that do to their self esteem? They need to feel secure, that they will be listened to. That's the problem I had with the crying out method. But just my opinion. I'm definitely not perfect or the world's greatest mom. But my kids feel loved, secure and have so much confidence and courage.