We are thinking about having our 10 son do neurofeedback. He is just really out of control....bad language, disrespectful, etc. I would love to hear your opinion or experiences with this as an adult or with your child.
Thanks
My sister did this with my 9 year old nephew who has ADHD and Asperger's. She recently stopped because there was no noticiable change in his behavior. I think she had him in it for about 4 months, if I remember correctly.
I'm sure it's not for bad behavior-It's for treating ADHD/ADD.
Unless you're child is diagnosed with it I wouldn't do it-it's no cheap date and it's a big time commitment.
Neurofeedback has some noted success in improving responses (like impulsivity) that are generally considered "out of one's control"... It teaches children how to "feel" their body responses to avoid engaging in a behavior.
If your son is out-of-control (but has the ability to control), then you should seek-out a behavioral therapist to work with the whole family. If your son lacks the ability to control his behavior... well, still seek out a behavioral therapist. It doesn't sound like neurofeedback is the right therapy option for you!
My son, who has ADHD, Tourettes and is on the Autism Spectrum, has done neurofeedback and he does respond well to it. In fact, his dad and he are flying to see our naturopath in Denver to do a whole course of neurofeedback and neuromotion in a couple of weeks. It's not a "do it once and he'll be cured" type of thing, at least for my son, it's not. But it does help him bring his body and mind into balance for a period of time. I know of other parents who haven't had much success with it (and since it can be very expensive, it may not be worth it). All I know is it helps my son, so we'll keep doing it every couple of years.
Just read an article about this for ADHD and they found it didn't help. I believe it was in ADDitude magazine or CHADD's magazine, if you want to look it up online.
Do you feel like he has a neurological problem or is it more of a behavioral problem. Is he a very strong individual and scared of nothing? You might try one of those parenting CD sets (Total Transformation or Kirk Martin's Celebrate Calm). Both fantastic but I probably prefer Kirk Martin. I listen to them everyday because repetition is the only way I can learn. My child does not respond like your typical child. He is very different than the average kid and I didn't know how to handle him. I am learning. It's not a quick fix but I can honestly say his disrespect has improved significantly. Remember....all bad behavior is a manifestation of a need which is not being met. Think through why he seems so unhappy and disrespectful. Most likely it is anxiety so figure out why he has anxiety and then teach him how to control it. Is he not getting the family attention he needs? Is he not doing well in school? Are kids at school picking on him? Does he not have a close friend? Does he feel alone or different in this world? My son has higher anxiety than your average child and it took me a long time to figure that out. I'm now equipped with the skills to lessen his anxiety and teach him how to control it better. He's 6. Anyway, your situation sounds a bit like mine so thought I'd share what I know. When they get like this, it is hard to flip things around to where life for them is more positive than negative. Parents start to dislike them, resent them and punish, teachers do not like these kids and punish too. That's all they get is punishment and disapproval from their elders because their elders are unable to see that they aren't being brats just to be brats. It's much more complicated than this. This makes them feel bad about themselves and act out even more. Try to let some of it go for now and teach/lead by example rather than punishing left and right. When he lashes out, don't lose it on him (maybe you are calmer than I am; it used to be hard for me not to attack my child right back). Just stay calm and say, "I can see you are feeling upset right now. Meet me outside with your football in 2 minutes." Start throwing the ball and ask what is bothering him. Or, take a drive and go get ice cream, just the two of you. You need to convince him that he can open up to you without being judged or getting in trouble. If you are a screamer, tell him that you are on a mission to change your ways and he needs to call you out when you slip up and yell back. Make sure he knows that you are now going to be there for him to express his anger to you without being punished for it. This is NOT easy, trust me. You will have to practice, practice, practice. I still lose my temper when my son is disrespectful. I find it very offensive and hurtful because I do so much for him. Don't get me wrong, I don't put up with it. I get down on his level and say very calmly, "don't talk to me like that, I don't like it and it's never okay." If he lashes out right back, I send him for some quiet time in his room. Sometimes kicking and screaming but I get him there. Then, I go in and we talk through things calmly (and try to give him some ideas as to how he can control his anger next time). Deep breaths, chew a piece of gum, whisper "calm, calm, calm" to himself, walk away and count to 100 first, do 15 jumping jacks first, etc. Then come back and tell people why you are frustrated. Sounds silly but it works. As an adult, I find walking away and taking deep breaths is best for me...before I start screaming. Never just tell him not to be disrespectful, teach him the skills.
We have a son with Tourettes syndrome. (He has ticks and shakes his head.) He is the oldest of 3 boys. See http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=31270294&l=5d34...
We have tried many things to help him, including Biofeedback. We saw no change and he had one session per week for about 6 months. We finally got him Dianetics Auditing at the Church of Scientology and his symptoms are very significantly reduced! He is also doing courses there and loves it.
L. Bezden
We've done it for my son, every day, for a little over 2 years. Like the other responders, I don't know exactly what is causing these issues for your son but just to answer the question, it has been a staple around our house with wonderful results. Good luck to you. If I can answer more detailed questions for you, please feel free to contact me.
R.M., I was googling "neurofeedback" and "Cedar Park" and this conversation came up. I am currently looking for a neurofeedback center for our child, and we live in Cedar Park. Did you ever find a clinic nearby or pursue this? Thanks for the help!
