Has Anybody Had Experience Adopting Through the Foster Care System?

Updated on April 24, 2007
S. asks from Spring, TX
5 answers

My husband and I are considering adopting through the foster care system. Has anybody done this? Any advice? What do you wish you had known before you went through this experience? Would you do it again? We already have 3 children of our own--what do we need to know about bringing other children into our home who are not newborns? Thank you so much! S.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.M.

answers from Houston on

Hello S.,
I have been through the CPS system and in the end was blessed with you amazing daughters. I can tell you things might and probably wont go the way you are taught in class.

Krissy has great information in regard to keeping a copy of EVERYTHING. They will lose it. When you resend something make another copy to send to them and have notes on EVERYTHING. I made notes on the copies and if I had to resend they had those extra comments too. like dates on went sent, or resent in papers. Keep calling your caseworker, if you wait for them to call it will be a very slow process. I know bugging them can be hard on you, but they will take care of you so they can finish your request faster. We had the Lord on our side and I know He made a big job happen sooner than should have.

In regards to baggage, sure they all have it because they were in a system for one reason and the system is no way perfect. Ours took awhile to trust and know they are no leaving us, but not really bad at all.

Any other I would talk to you more privately. You may email at ____@____.com of wish and may God provide His desires for you and your family.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.H.

answers from Houston on

My aunt is going through the process right now, and the only thing that she has mention that I feel shoud be passed on is that remember that your dealing with a government agency so if you decide to go this rout make copies of everything (they have a tendency to lose suff) so if something is lost you have a backup copy to resend them it could save some time, and w/ three already some much needed energy, good luck!!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.C.

answers from Houston on

S.
I to have interest in fostering a child and perhaps adopting
it and I also have concerns. I am a single mom, with a 2yr. old boy, and lots of love to give to another child.
M. C

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.W.

answers from Tyler on

I myslef was adopted and knew my birth parents, but never had a connection with them because I had been with my adopted mom since age 2 and she was the only mother I knew. I'm extremely excited my mother adopted me and my older sister and she also kept us in touch with our biological family and our 9 other siblings! Because of my life and knowing that somebody cared about me enough to adopted me and give me a good life has inspired me to be the best parent I can and hopefully reach out to a needing kid and adopt one day. My mother also kept foster kids for about 12 years after adopting us. It was easy for us to understand and get used to the idea of other kids coming and going because we were in their situation at one time.

My advice to you would be to just sit your kids down and explain to them that there are children out there who's parents couldn't or choose not to take care of them. Then I would see if they thought it would be a good idea to open their home to foster kids and help give them a better lifestyle. I would strongly reccommend talking to them about making whoever comes feel welcome and to never be jealous or think that those kids would be replacing them.

I hope I helped.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.C.

answers from Sherman on

Hi S.,
My husband and I were foster parents and we adopted through the foster care system.We adopted a 15 year old girl,a 13 year old boy,an 11 year old boy and a 3 year old girl(the 15 year old is the 3 year olds mother.It is definitely a challenge and a lot of work to bring children into your home and your family that come from the foster care system.They have been through a lot and usually come with a lot of "baggage"(special needs,behavior problems,attachment issues,trust issues,some have been abused in many different ways-physically,emotionally,sexually).It takes time to get them to trust you and actually become a "part of the family".But if you are willing to hang in there and tough it out for a while the rewards are endless.Our children have been a hand full at times but things are wonderful now...it has been 2 1/2 years since we adopted them.The oldest is graduating from high school and will be 18 in May,she is a great daughter and she loves us as her parents.The oldest boy is 15 now and he has some attachment problems(he is not capable of actually loving anyone) but he has adjusted well and is a good son.The one that was 11 when we adopted him was 4 when we got him and it took 7 years to adopt him(he is 13 now) and he has the mental capacity of a 5 year old and always will....he is a lot of work,he is a joy though and he loves us very,very much unconditionally.The youngest was 2 when she moved in with us and had been through a lot already in her young life.She was born to a 12 year old(our oldest adopted daughter) that had been molested by an adult and has some problems because of that.Then she was molested herself at a young age.So she is in counseling and she is doing pretty well.She is a hand full.But we love them all very much,they are as much our children as if we'd had them and we would not change a thing.It is a wonderful experience and very rewarding.We do not have any biological children together but I have a daughter from a previous marriage and she is 15 now,she loves all of her siblings and is very happy we adopted them.It took some time to adjust but with a lot of love,patience,hard work and commitment it all works out.So I wish you the very best and feel free to keep in touch,my e-mail address is ____@____.com. M.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches