Hand-out?

I agree with you. I know someone who was asking for online donations to build a house. I thought maybe I could start asking for donations to pay my mortgage, ha. I can't imagine asking strangers to pay my way through school.

I think that seminary may be playing the big part in this. It's sort of like paying tithing or making an offering.

I also think this guy should try to apply for financial aid. That would pay for his education.

Handout. It's no different then people who want me to pay for their wedding, for conceiving or adopting a a baby, a new business venture, etc. They are asking other people to pay for their way in life. That is a handout. Now, some handouts have better intentions then others, but it's a handout nonetheless.

Our youth pastor goes to seminary classes, works full time as a cop, has a family and..works as our youth pastor. Our church payes for his school classes. That, I can get behind.

Perhaps your fiancé has had deep religious conversations with this friend or perhaps God touched his heart to do something to help his friend with his seminary schooling. I would congratulate him for his decision and ask when he plans to apply and enroll. I would make a commitment to donate $ x amount when he enrolls. I would wait until he enrolls in the seminary and make the donation on his behalf.
When one of our friends got a call from God to enter the seminary, we supported his efforts by sending a check to the seminary on his behalf each year and supplying his family with Target gift cards at back to school time and Christmas time.

Yeah it's a hand out.

I'm with you.

My sister got her first year of school paid for for her, and failed every class. It was no skin off her nose, because it was other people's money.

I am paying for my school myself... And working my hiney off to maintain straight As. There is no way I am going to spend that kind of money and have nothing to show for it!

It sounds like he has never learned the meaning of responsibility... And he never will if people keep giving him a free ride.

I'd honestly feel the same way as your better half, though I might wait on giving my donation until after the acquaintance is accepted into seminary. I think I would also inquire about his plan. I doubt he's going to get through school without working.

Clearly this fellow has felt a calling from God and wishes to do His will by following that call. I would be as supportive as I possibly could.

ETA: While I can understand your skepticism, God can change even the lowliest of men. I think of some of the awful things I've done in my past....He changed me. I cannot deny that fact when I look with distain at the poor choices of others. He can change them too.

I probably wouldn't donate to that venture, but a classmate that I hadn't seen in 26 years solicited donations on FB to help defray his medical costs from his cancer diagnosis and treatments. I donated to it. But I could have said, why would I help someone who had every opportunity to purchase health insurance, but didn't? (He has money, a job, no family/kids to support)? I did it because I had the means, he had the need, and I wanted to help.

I love to donate money, time and resources........to those truly in need. People are hungry, homeless, ill, and sometimes just struggling in general. I donate and never, EVER regret it.

Is your friend able to work? Why hasn't he had a job for a year and why is he living as your "guest" for these long months? If your fiance wants to donate, that's fine, but I would be hard pressed to donate to someone who could have spent the last year earning money himself.

I hope your fiance's donation is well invested and that this guy starts taking responsibility for his life.

My guess is that your better half's donation will be a drop in the bucket of debt that comes with higher education. If it makes him feel good to do something for his friend, let him do it.

Charity is something you do because you WANT to, not because you are FORCED to.

So IF he can afford it and WANTS to - why would you complain? It's not your money he is messing with - is it? Or do you already have the money combined? Either way? if he wants to donate because he WANTS to and CAN AFFORD to - do it. No one is forcing you to do this.

I get where you are coming from. This guy is not earning his way. I get it. What he WANTS to do is a good thing....seminary school has a way of changing men....really.

if you are skeptical - ask for a bill that would you like to pay for directly and then pay them directly if you don't feel the money will actually go for what it is being asked for. Or you can wait until he's accepted into the program or school....then contribute.

IMO, your acquaintance needs to pay for his own education. I'm sure everyone would like to finish school debt-free, but we don't always get what we want. Sounds like the acquaintance is used to people giving to him; time he woke up and smelled the coffee!

Btw, I don't consider someone who has been staying in my house rent-free for several months a "house guest." To me, he/she is a free loader and needs to move ASAP.

My goodness. I wonder if your better half is always this naive or if the guy is just extraordinarily good at pulling the wool over people's eyes. The guy sounds like the beginning of a con artist.

I'd be pretty mad if my husband donated to someone's seminary who hadn't worked in a year and was mooching off of other's...

Yep, definitely a handout.

Although I imagine that in a situation like that, people will likely be able to see through that and he may not get the donations he's hoping for anyway. School is not cheap.

Hmmmm...I've heard if mission trips that MUST be paid for by donations--regardless of the attendees ability to pay.
I'm all for furthering higher ideals.
Not sure why this bothers you.
Judgement and suspicion aren't good qualities.
Bless your fiancé--sounds like a man of good character.
Do you live with/have kids with your fiancé? So e might judge that
You know what they say: "Judge not lest all that jazz...."

There are givers and their are takers in this world. That guy is a leach. There are alot of them in church ministries. Read the Art of Selfishness by Ayn Rand. No one has the right to take what others have worked for. Some people will be fooled into giving to people like that by a false sense of altruism or guilt but they are misguided.