Wording 1St Birthday Invitation

I think that is a great idea! I would just say exactly what you said in this note - In lieu of gifts, a donation to the NICU that took such great care of Zeke at his start in life would be very much appreciated.

J.

We just had my daughter's first birthday party and did something similar to what you're interested in. We had plenty of toys already and more clothes than she'd need if she was twins, so we put on the invite "Instead of gifts, please consider making a small donation towards earthquake relief. www.shelterbox.org." We chose this wording because this way we weren't asking for money directly, we listed a general charity goal and then listed a specific charity's website to make things simpler, but still letting people make the choice on their own. Many people chose to donate and respected not only our request for no gifts, but our desire to do something for those less fortunate. I'm sure the hospital has a website where donations can be made, but if not, they'll have a representative that people can call. I'd just put at the bottom of the invites "Instead of gifts, please consider making a donation to XYZ Hospital's Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU)" and put either the donation website or the phone number they can call. I commend you and your family for your desire to give back! Congrats on making it to 1 and here's to MANY more healthy years ahead!

Definitely check with the NICU to see if they have something already set up!

Otherwise, how about this:

"We're asking respectfully that no gifts be given, but please consider a donation to Children's NICU who helped make this first year possible!"

I realize that manners have completely gone out the window, but...it is NEVER appropriate to write what gift your guest should bring you on the invitation. Even though you have a good heart to do this, it is so rude!! How about you wait until people ask you what he needs/wants (this will happen), and then you can suggest a donation. Or, return some of the unopened toys and make the donation yourself (most people now include the gift receipt; I assume this means they're OK with me returning the gift).

In lieu of a gift please consider donating money to Name of Hospital's NICU.

Sounds like a great idea! Check with the hospital. Around here there is a program called the Peter Pan Birthday (with Cook's Children's Hospital) that is set up for something like this specifically. Someone I know has done it with her children for years. Friends donate money in honor of her daughter or son's birthdays...they never know who sent what amount, they are only told a grand total and then they match what was donated. When I asked about it recently, she said the program sends you information to send out with your invites and suggestions on wording invitations. She said that for a while people would still bring small gifts as well as donating, but now that her daughter is 11, friends are starting to understand the donation is enough. They have raised so much money that both of her children have plaques at the hospital honoring them. And for doing the Peter Pan birthdays they get invited to a party at the hospital that includes tours of the facility. She said her kids love it.

I think this is great! It's even a great tradition to start so your kids understand the importance of giving. You have some great suggestions already on how to word for a monitary donation-if it were me, I'd respect your wishes but still give your child a small gift like a book as well. Another thought you may or may not like, is to find out if there is anything the NICU likes to see as donations instead of money. For instance, if you it's ok to have blankets donated you could say "in lieu of a gift for "jonny", please send a donation or bring a blanket that could be donated to XYZ in his honor. It sounds like you have older children as well-they can help your son deliver the gifts. I'm sure the nurses would love to see a former patient doing so well! We've thought about doing this as with our extended family for Christmas-instead of a gift exchange each child will buy a gift to be donated-a little different for Christmas as compared to a birthday, but just a thought.

I understand where Valerie is coming from, but then people have taken the time and put thought into choosing something for your child. If you truly don't want/need for him to have more toys, why let people pick them out only for them to be returned? And that costs stores money, too, plus your time and energy. So you may have saved their feelings in one way, but on the other hand you aren't, really. What if they come over later and don't see the toy anywhere? Depends on who you're inviting, I guess.

So I agree with the other moms. My son spent 2 weeks in the NICU as well. I wish I had thought to ask about donations instead of gifts, because we have been very choosy about his toys. He is and will remain an only child, so he really only needs so many! And some are used much more than others, or are a better way for us to spend our time with him, to support his developmental needs (he is 4 now and still has some delays). We can tend to go overboard in the toy department, but I also respect grandparents' and others' wishes to "spoil" the kid a little bit on their birthday, so I couldn't complain too much about our son having "too many" toys. I just go through them frequently and donate ones we aren't using anymore, especially to special needs programs if there is a specific purpose for a toy.

I didn't think of the donations, so I created a wish list online with toys we were interested in having for our son. I put that information in his invitations with some kind of wording about how we care much more about them coming than about them bringing gifts, but if they really wanted to bring a gift they could find ideas on X website of things he didn't have but would go well with his other toys. Even as a mom, I find it hard to know what to buy because kids have so much. So I hoped the suggestion would be helpful. My in-laws didn't pay any attention, I don't think, and I don't remember if my family did, either, but at least I made my effort and then let whatever was going to happen, happen. Sometimes they gift they like the best is something you would have never thought of, and it may or may not have anything to do with who gave it to them.

Anyway, I like the other ideas about how to word the invitation. I don't think there is anything wrong with letting people know what your wishes are. Many might appreciate the thought, and that they don't have to shop. But a way to make the amount anonymous is also nice.

We do something similar for my kids' birthdays. Requesting "no gifts" doesn't work, so instead I say "If you would like to bring a gift, please bring two $1 bills - one for the birthday child, and one for (charity chosen by the child.)" The kid can shop for a gift, people still feel like they've recognized the birthday, and the charity gets helped too.

You could do something similar - word it in a way that no gift is expected.

My friend does the same thing for her sons Christmas birthday. She just puts on the invite "In lieu of gifts" I would just ask that they bring/donate money in your sons name to the NICU and provide an address or they can give it to you to donate for them.

I think this is great.
I hate to compare the two things, but when my mother in law passed away suddenly, we asked that in lieu of flowers, please send donations to......
We received so many cards from the organization letting us know of the contributions and I sent a thank you card to each and every person.
Many people were from far away and couln't attend her service so they donated in her name.
I do the same thing with Relay for Life every year. I donate in honor of my loved ones.
Contact the NICU and find out the address for contributions to be sent so you can include that on the invitation. That way, people can contribute to the healthy outcome of other babies in your son's honor.
It's not the same as saying you EXPECT a donation, but it does show your charitable heart and those who would rather give your son an outfit or something will do so. But the option is there and to be honest, some people would never think of it unless you mentioned it.
Even $5 helps.

My kids got so many things that we cleaned out their toys and clothes that didn't fit and donated them to the local women's shelter, rescue mission, etc. It's not always about receiving, it's about giving too and teaching our children that from the beginning is a wonderful thing.
Right now, your son is too young to know what he gets from who anyway, but you can start a tradition of giving in honor of his birthday every year.

Congratulations on your healthy baby and I wish you the very best.

Our grandson (we have custody) just received a birthday invitation from 8 yr. old twin brothers who are both in his class at school. On the invitation the parents requested "in lieu of gifts we would recommend a donation to our local Humane Society". At the birthday party, the children are all going to a play activity center and have cake - but no gifts. We made the donation and printed it so that our grandson can present it in an enevelope at the party. I think it's unusual that 8 yr. old boys would rather have a donation than gifts, but it wasn't our call. We did the donation.

I believe Becky's suggestion is a good one.

We attended a 4 year old's birthday party recently that had the following wording on the invitation:

"Please no gifts! If you'd like to do something, please provide a donation to the Hamilton County Humane Society in her honor"

I can't think of a more honorable thing to do for all the people who work tirelessly in a difficult job than to make donations to keep the spirits of the families high.

You can put on the invite that this is a gift free party, but if they would really like to do something for him they can donate to the NICU in his name. This way you leave the option up to the guests and you are not asking for money.

We did something similar for a charity. On the invitation I think I put, please, no gifts. However, if you would like to make a donation to xxxxx that would be much appreciated.