Halfway Through Kindergarten and Thinking of Switching Schools. Advice?

The kindergarten year is so important. I would pull him right now, and enroll him in the public school. The timing is perfect with winter break starting. He'll have some time off in between. I wouldn't keep him on that medication if you don't think it's making a difference. If you decide to send him to a different school, see how he does there then reevaluate. I would also refrain from mentioning this ADHD "diagnosis" to his new teachers. Why plant that seed if there is no basis for it? Best wishes!

I agree with oneanddone on this one. To go from montessori to a strict/rigid environment seems like it may be a huge issue. Kindergarteners are still itty bitty and need lots of patience and time to play/explore. I'd opt for public school right now.

It sounds to me that you were drawn to this school on reputation, but maybe not on cirriculum. Frankly, the cirriculm and teaching method sounds terrible to me and is counter to any ed approach I have ever researched. I can imagine it works for some kids, but gee, what about independent thought and critical thinking and creativity??

I am a big believer in the Montessori method, because it focuses on providing kids with opportunities for success. Sounds like the exact opposite of where you are now! That method aside, I think any school that whose goal is to measure and compare students versus actually play to their strengths is going to undermine a child's confidence and make him hate the school experience.

Ultimately, if this isn't working for your child, that's your answer. My biggest concern for pulling out midyear would be social - would he be very sad to miss his friends?? But if he is "failing" by the school standards, I can't see a reason to stay. No child should have to have such a negative KINDERGARTEN experience.

(Note - Montessori is traditionally for ages 3-6 and is well adapted in many elementary classrooms, but I woudl ask a lot of questions about the grade 1-6 classroom and even observe if you can. Montessori is fabulous and does work, but only if the teachers really know what they are doing. Anyone can say they are teaching in the Montessori method....)

Good luck!!

Well, the ADHD and the school choice may very well be two separate issues. I'm wondering if his attending Montessori 4K, then this rigid charter school is just too giant of a style switch for him?
What is the classroom size of the public school?
My son attends a public school--he has 22 in his class and believe me, "not paying attention" IS noticed! I wonder why you have such a negative view of the public school, especially since your daughter had a wonderful experience there?

Wow - I would not leave my son there another week . . . boys are wired differently than girls and my sons, especially, would WILT in that learning environment. I left my older son in a very good Catholic school - with highly critical female teachers - WAY too long and almost lost him to learning completely (and he's a smart kid/good student/good athlete). I would not do it that way again.

Your instincts sound correct imho. I would not "catastrophize" whatever decision you make . . . I used to worry so much about the same things (changing learning environments) and my only mistake was not making the change sooner.

Good luck

PS: I just read JL's response and agree with her re: homeschooling. We started halfway through 3rd grade with my younger son (also a negative learning environment) and we never went back. My older son didn't join us until 10th grade (he's a senior this year). We absolutely love homeschooling and our only regret is not doing it sooner.

He doesnt' respond well to "desk time, drilling and uniform spoken response" so the school quickly labels him ADHD. Sounds like the school would do that with any kid who wasn't into its particularly rigid style, frankly. I would immediately get a second medical opinon on that ADHD diagnosis and be sure that the doctor knows about the cultural whiplash that your son's experiencing; he went from "you decide what you do and when you do it" Montessori to "sit down, be quiet, do what you're given when you're given it."

It's too big a change and not a positive one.

Why stress about the idea that he may never be readmitted to this school? You clearly have other good options such as the public school your older child attends. Yes, the classes are larger, but frankly, that's the case at all public schools. If you are his advocate --and teach him to advocate for himself as he grows up -- he will do fine in that environment especially if it was as good for your daughter as you describe.

I'd treat this as a learning experience for the adults more than for him: His learning style does not mesh with this school and most important and serious of all, this school is quashing his joy in learning. If he loses that at this age, it will be tough to get it back and get him enthusiastic about school afterward. I'd pull him at the end of the semester -- a logical and smooth time for him to exit -- and send him to the public school.

And meanwhile I would seriously question the ADHD diagnosis. Yes, some kids are genuinely diagnosed with it. But I really do question these circumstances and whether medicating him on the basis of this poor academic fit is where you want to be.

It sounds like your son may have a bad case of culture shock. This Core thing sounds like it's about as different from Montessori as anything can possibly be. And it's incredibly normal for a little boy to be squirmy and/or tune out a stressful situation.

I am not familiar with Core Knowledge, but from your description, I would not be comfortable having my child in that kind of classroom. It sounds like test-prep boot camp from Hell. At this age, education has relatively little to do with knowledge acquisition. Children should get the basic building blocks of knowledge (literacy and basic math skills), but if they aren't given space to think creatively and critically, the only kind of thinking they'll learn how to do is rote memorization. Do you want that for your son???

I also think ADD/ADHD is way overdiagnosed. Yes, there are plenty of children who really have it and who really need the meds, but there are also plenty more who just aren't in the right classroom, who find kid-ways of dealing with it, and who do NOT need to be medicated. If your son did well in preschool and at home, there's a decent chance he's in that second group.

So, so what if you won the lottery? Be one of those wonderful people who give away their winnings (i.e., give your son's slot to another child) and get him out of there. I can't say whether you should go with the Montessori or the public school, since I don't know the pros and cons of each, but that Core Knowledge thing does not sound pedagogically sound.

I'd seriously consider homeschooling him for the remainder of the year and in the interim, if this isn't something that interests you for the long haul, be on the look out for a better fitting school for next year.

I homeschool and know many, many families who have pulled their children out of traditional school for the very reasons and challenges you cite. Not a single family went back to traditional schooling after giving homeschool a try and their kids are all thriving academically and socially. Most nixed the medications and are using natural methods for controlling ADHD symptoms, and have instead looked into something called Right Brain Learning methods.

There are tons of books on the subject, and there are overwhelming accounts of success stories among parents using this approach with their children who seemed to have trouble with focus in school. For more information on this see: www.dianecraft.org and read this woman's entire site. It's eye opening! Her books and lectures are fantastic and you won't be disappointed. Even if you opt to stick it out in school for the rest of the year, get your hands on Diane's books and read her blog regularly. It will help you immensely.

Articles of hers that may be helpful to you right away include:

http://www.dianecraft.org/article-011.htm

http://www.dianecraft.org/article-014.htm

http://www.dianecraft.org/article-001.htm

http://www.dianecraft.org/article-002.htm

For information on homeschooling, go to the HSLDA webpage at www.hslda.org , click on "YOU CAN HOMESCHOOL" and explore the website's entire section on how to get started homeschooling in your area. There you will find support groups, curriculum, and even resources for parents of children dealing with special needs such as ADHD.

If your son is absolutely miserable, dreads school, and you feel the teachers are not caring or rather they are more annoyed with him, I'd pull him out now and either homeschool or go the public school route. If he is doing OK with school emotionally, is having some positive experience socially and/or with his teachers and with learning, I would have him finish the year. Then switch to the public school next year. Maybe strongly consider having him repeat kindergarten in the public system. Another year to mature may help eliminate some of the squirmming and attention issues. I'm not sure I'd be sold on the ADHD diagnosis. It just sounds like he isn't a fit right now for the rigidness of this charter school's methods. Just because a school has an outstanding reputation doesn't mean it's a good fit for every kid. Class size also isn't nearly as important as parental involvement in determining success.

It sounds like this school is very different from the Montessori teachings and that is throwing him off. I would take him out and home school or try the Montessori school again.
My daughter started kindergarten this year too. I was very careful to select a school that would fit her personality. We visited two charter schools in my area and they had similar curriculums that you have described. The public school is overcrowded. I really like the Montessori way but I knew that wouldn't work for my daughter and I was worried that if I had to change schools she would not adjust well. I decided on a small private Christian school and she is so happy there. She has been excelling way beyond what I ever expected.
I am not suggesting that you enroll in a religious school, I am only suggesting that you look at what will work best for your son and his personality.

Get him off the meds and get a second opinion from a qualified professional who specializes in child learning & development. ASAP!

Meds at an early age can cause actual brain damage as your child's brain is developing. If he truly has ADD or ADHD meds might help, but be damn sure that's what he has physiologically.

You don't hear about this because pharma companies have brainwashed docs to think that meds are the answer to everything. Pharma makes gazillions of dollars off worried parents and docs who don't have time to analyze the primary research. A pediatrician is NOT a mental health expert.

Yes- Montessori would probably do a world of good. That he behaves well at home at not at school is a dead giveaway that this school doesn't get it. Too many schools try to teach all kids as if they all learn the same way. That's just not true.

Don't be so worried about core curriculum or going to the "best" schools. Nurture him well at home so he can learn HIS way. ALL teachers -public,Montessori, charter, homeschool, etc. --HAVE to address the Minnesota Academic benchmarks. The WAY they do it may differ, but kids will get the same end result.

No question. CHANGE SCHOOLS! Darn right- teachers who criticize produce kids who don't want to learn, and who have bad attitudes ("I hate school") that kids can carry with them for the rest of their lives.

You may also want to read "Why Gender Matters" by Dr. Leonard Sax. He specializes in family psychology AND brain development. This book is priceless for any mom.

It sounds like your son needs some structure, but this is too much.

If he has ADHD or has ADD I suggest he go to a typical school. He will have structure and learn the basics of what it means to be in real school. This is the basis to all of his education to come. How to carry his tray in the cafeteria, sit in a large lunch room and speak in a normal tone.

How to sit next to children in a classroom and learn how to speak in a normal voice and when is it time to listen to the teacher, but with out the stress and with structure. How to work in a group as well as independent work. There is more likely to have a better mix of children.. He will find his place and be challenged when needed. If it is a neighborhood school, it will be even better because he will have friends that llive close by for play dates and it will feel like his community.

But he will also have typical interaction with children his age. He needs this experience.

My son was in a Montessori school when we switched to a public school in his kindergarten year. It was a huge culture shock. He was acting out because everything was different. From the curriculum, the manner the way the class was run, meeting new children and trying to fit in as well as how the teacher works with the kids. It was hard for him. Any child would go through a similar transition especially at this age and this charter school should have recognized that. Does the charter school have resources that you can access? Now the question on ADHD is that really what he has? You mention that the teachers came up with that diagnosis and then your pedi agreed. I wonder if that is really what he has. It could just be that your son is going through a very difficult transition. I would put him in a public school. They have the resources to offer, classroom assistance, psychologist assistance, academic resource assistance or even occupational therapy if that is what he needs. Not all kids learn by "discipline" especially when they are used to the Montessori method of learning. My son was in Montessori since he was three so you can imagine how difficult it was for my son to go to a public school at first. Luckily we too have a great public school and the teachers cared about him and worked with him. They offered us resources (academic because he didn't want to do the work as it turned out he was ahead) and social services because of his acting out. Within three months he was able to turn around and loved being there. My son is in first grade and loves his school. Good luck! I know its tough.

My son is in Kindergarten this year, and I really feel for you. These decisions feel so monumental that it's really hard when they get complex. (And when well meaning people, meaning my dad, tell you to relax. Don't they get how life changing these decisions are for us?)

A couple of things to consider. My son has a July birthday, so the decision facing us was whether to put him in the regular kindergarten or the 2-year one. (We are so lucky that our school district has this option). We chose the 2-year, because I heard from so many moms of boys with summer birthdays that it made all the difference in the world to let them begin kindergarten at age 6. They were more mature, could sit still better and follow directions better and just had an overall better experience. Mom's of older boys told me that they could tell in later grades that being the oldest was such a good thing for them. No one regretted having their son wait, but there were some moms who said they wished they had. There were some that sent them at age 5 and said they had no regrets.

So, one thing to consider is whether or not placing him in kindergarten next fall would be a good idea.

Right now he's attending "the best school." Those can be dangerous words. This school might get great reviews and produce great scores, but that doesn't make it the best school for every child. It also can keep you for considering what the next best school has to offer. Often times the next best school is pretty darn good. Also, you really do want to find the school that is the best fit for your son, and it's ok if this school is not it.

Of course you're not sure, this really is a big decision. Maybe you could meet with your son's teacher, talk to her about your concerns and let her know that you are wondering if you made the right decision in choosing this environment. Maybe she will tell you that she really does believe it's the right school for him and that he does have ADHD. She might tell you that she hadn't considered that as a possibility and would give that some serious thought and observe him more with that in mind. Who knows, but it's a place to start.

I'm sorry I wrote so much. I just wanted to give you a couple of things to reflect on. Good luck!!!!!! I really do know how overwhelming this is for you.

There is a whole slew of pyschological & educational testing that can be done to find "indications" of ADHD, plus diagnose emotional disorders, learning disabilities, memory issues, etc. Most pyschologists require 2 different indications of ADHD before they give the diagnosis and medication - in otherwards, the teacher's evaluation AND the parents evaluation. There is no one test or tests that diagnose ADHD, but there are a number of evaluations that will help pinpoint OR eliminate other issues that could be causing your sons educational problems. I would get a full pyschological evaluation before doing anything further with the school. It could be that they are correct, BUT it takes more than just their opinion for a diagnosis. We've just been through 10 hrs. of testing for our 9 yr. old son. We thought he had ADHD but the teachers didn't (the opposite of your problem). We've been arguing with the school to help us get him evaluated but for the past 2 yrs. his teachers didn't see anything abnormal. This year his 4th grade teacher (bless her) saw the same problems we did and we were able to get the complete evaluation (10 hrs.) done. The testing indicated that he "probably" had ADHD, but he did, in fact, have learning disabilities in several areas, including memory issues. After 2 yrs. of him and us being total frustrated, he has been on Vyvanse for almost a month and the changes have been nothing but miraculous. All of the problems have not gone away and medication doesn't "cure" the learning disabilities, but he is now able to focus, pay attention, be calm, have much fewer melt downs, and get his homework done without a lot of fuss. Please get more testing done before you give up on the school.

I am glad you are seeing a psychiatrist for a second opinion. I have been fighting with my son's teachers since Kindergarten because the teachers have labeled my son ADHD. He spent Kindergarten in California and his pediatrician said he is not ADHD. We moved to Michigan last year and his 1st and 2nd grade teachers are saying the same thing. This past Spring, the end of 1st grade we did the questionnaire tests and gave them to his current pediatrician. Right away he said "yep, these tests show he is ADHD" and recommended medication. I said I wanted a second opinion, because to me anyone can be ADHD on any given day according to those questionnaires. We saw a child psychiatrist 3 weeks ago and said my son seems to have problems with anxiety, not ADHD. He said anxiety can look like ADHD and ADHD can look like anxiety. Since it is easier to rule out ADHD, he is on a program with Ritalin, 1st week was half a pill and each week increase by a half for 4 weeks and then we will compare notes with the child psychiatrist. So far, his teacher says there is no noticeable difference and I am more convinced it is anxiety.
Sorry for my rambling, but I am glad you are not buying into the hype from the teachers and trying different avenues. If I would agreed with the original Dr, he would have prescribed some outrageous dosage and I might have a small zombie on my hands, or worse. Slow and steady wins this race! Good luck and I hope you find the right answers.

Kudoes on deciding to tranfer your son out of that place.
Also kudoes on questioning the diagnosis. From what you are saying, I would not say your son has ADHD, and so why giving him medication that he does not need? Until he is truely evaluated, I would say take him off of this medication.
Also good job on transferring him back to the Montessori.
I would suggest maybe next year take him to the other Montessori school. Public might be fine, and hey, if you have another Montessori nearby, then why not?
My daughter is in second grade in our local public school, and she was admitted early to the first grade because her birthday is after September. Out public school is considered a very very good one in our district.
However, I am so disappointed in the public school program. She was not learning anything, and I mean nothing, from the school in the first grade. She also forgot what she was tought in Montessori. For instance, in Montessori kindergarten she was doing 4-digit additions, and in the first grade their yearly program is one-digit adidtions, starting from 0: 0+0=, 0+1=. What the heck. In first grade? And the reading progress that she had was solely based on the rewuirement that we had to do 15 minutes of reading evry day, this is how she progressed with reading. The only thing tha she learned was how to spell words with different combinations of letters, but you can also get that progress if not better with the Kumon program (google it).
And now a similar story about the second grade - what are they learnign there? Math is better this year, but still could be even better if you ask me.
So I would not hold your son back one year for sure.
And to your worry about your son not learning enough in Montessori - I think you should not worry. I think he will lear more that he would on the public program.

is he on the young side for K? Maybe he J. needed an extra year of pre-k? They say some boys do need extra time. My daughter seems to be struggling a little shes 5 and has a september birthday and seems to be not reading or as confident as the older kids. I'm not pulling her but I'm not opposed to her repeating K if it's needed...in a diferent school so she doesnt know. I'd say try and switch classes, and i agree the switch between montessouri and this more rigid program might be tough...I'd call his past teachers and see if they noticed it but didn't say anythibg...maybe when they think back they'll see signs or make you at ease and say he was fine?

I put my kids into a different public school last year so my mom could watch them before and after for me. They hated it! Within 2 months I moved them back to our school and found a way to make it work for me to take care of them (I work full-time and my husband works 2 hours away).

I wouldn't wait until the end of the year beacuse by then he has missed what should be an amazing year! My kids adjusted very well to the new school (my 2nd grader had gone there for K and 1, so she really just missed a couple of months) and my K was great ith it! Kids make new friends so easily...I'd move him now.

Don't be so quick to jump into an ADHD diagnosis! We had a similiar expericence with our daughter. The school tested her in pre-school and first grade for ADHD and while she did have ADHD tendancies, she was NOT ADHD. Finally in 2nd grade, they wanted to test her again for ADHD...we said enough! So they tested her intelligence. Those tests came back so high she lost all interventions that they had put in place. Look into Vision Processing Disorders. ADHD behaviors are symptoms of VPD's.....we found a great Dr in Fergus Falls MN.... www.ffvision.com is a place to start if you want to know more.

Have you sat in one of his classes? if not this is your first step, most schools will allow this you need to see first hand how things are going. You really can't make a judgment on something that you do not see. Changing school halfway through is going to be hard and going to slow him down a bit also, that's a huge change.

Well I'd probably finish out the year, but request he switch classes to give him a fresh start. Sometimes some kids dont mesh and sometimes some teachers dont mesh. . Alot of time diet can play a roll. I would pack his lunch and watch what you put in his lunch. Check ADHD sites for food. Just switching what he eats can really help. You know those gold fiish the colored ones have some bad stuff in them. So if they are having that for snack? Also start teaching him a bit at home and see if he responds better with you with an interest in the work. Meds already at kindergarden scares me. I'd speak to your doctor about instead of meds they start the diet first. Iwould not though take him off anything without speaking with the doctor. Many products have to be wieined off