Half Crazy?

You're not crazy! I refuse to buy a ranch house for that reason! Look in to things you can do to the windows so that they can't be opened - a dowel rod put above the window that you only remove if you want to open the window from the inside?
Good Luck :)

I'm the same way with my children, and there rooms are right beside mine!

Buy some of those stick on magnetic alarms. You can get them at Menards. You just peel and stick them on your windows or doors and if the door or window is opened, they set off a really loud alarm sound. Those make me feel very safe because trust me, you'd hear them.

Hey A.!
Crazy? NO! Just protective!! And that is a good thing!! Have you thought about a dog? One outside OR one inside? An animal in the house is a FREE Security! Dogs tend to have the good ears and senses if something was going on. But I do understand you have a new house. Maybe you should put a baby Monitor in the room. Until the new ness were off. Keep your Faith! I wish you Luck!
R. C.

A.,
I wouldnt consider you half crazy at all... You have just moved into a new home, with new people around, not to mention you are still a new mommy. With all that is going on in the world today ( "even if its not always in the area", child abductions, murders, rapes, kidnappings, etc.) it is perfectly normal to worry about the safety of your child. If your husband works nights than it would make even more sense to stay worried. I would reccommend getting to know more about your neighbor that you are worried about. Maybe you have a mommy's sense about something being wrong, investigate to make yourself feel better and hopefully once you adjust to the new house and neighborhood than everything will fall into place.
Good luck .... wish you the best.
Also, you can check websites for local child molestors, criminals in your area. Possibly that would make you feel better knowing what kind of people are in your neighborhood....

You're not crazy...I'm the same way. I grew up in California where the crime rate is outrageous. I'm very paranoid when it comes to windows and people breaking in. I cannot stand to have my blinds or curtains open after dark since I cannot see out the window with the lights on. I also have a routine of checking all the windows and doors before going to bed. I think it's just that protective instinct mothers have to keep their kids safe! I have a baby moniter in my children's bedrooms so I can hear if anything is going on in their rooms. This has helped a lot!!

S.

You know I used to worry about stuff like that too. However my dogs keep such fears at bay. In particular my Catahoula Leopard Dog. These dogs are highly protective and love children. Although they are stubborn and high energy. If anyone came through my daughter's window, I've no doubt that my dog would put a very serious hurting on that person. These dogs will defend to the death.

You might want to consider a good watchdog. If not I'd get an alarm system. Even if all of your tax refund goes to it, it would be worth the piece of mind.

Wow, I am glad to know others have the same fear. That's funny because I heard a noise last night and went straight to my 2 yr. olds room! I still use monitors. We live in a 3 bedroom 2 bath ranch and the boys rooms are on the other side of the house! Baby monitors are great as is keeping the window locked and curtains shut at all times (that would be for your peace of mind). Get security stickers even though you don't have an alarm. You can get them and stick them on all the windows. Alarms are not that expensive and sometimes they throw it in when you buy the house. (stickers come with them) Is is too late to negotiate that? Also,when you first purchase a home is when they seem to have the best deals on them. Save your money and get one. Call around for the best deal and tell them you just moved in. Simple intruder and glass breakage alarms can cost under 200- and I promise you you will sleep soundly! The only drawback on the glass breakage monitor is that if anything happens that sets it off and the police come and it is a false alarm you can get charged for the call. Avon,IN police give you a break the first time. My kitten knocked over a GLASS (of course!)vase and they came out while we were at work! False alarm! ****** Good luck!

Trust your instincts. You can also go to www.familywatchdog.us and type in your address and zip and it will tell you if there is any sex offenders or just offenders in general in your area. Just zoom in on your area. I try to check every few months just to be safe.

I have the same fear....I lived in a 2 bdrm upstairs apartment, I left our windows open all the time. Now I live in a 3 bdrm duplex (ranch style), I love the fresh air, I have my window open (even though the fear is still there), but the girls' rooms are locked shut. They have fans. I would love to have them enjoy the fresh air at night like I do, but...momma safety won't allow it. :)
If you receive any good suggestions, can you pass them on to me?!

Thanks!

Hi! I don't think you are crazy at all! I believe that once you become a parent, you just worry a lot more than you did before. At least in my experience!
My husband is in the military, and he is gone quite a bit. I completely agree with all of the other moms who said to get a dog if at all possible. We have two great dogs, who are extremely protective. I feel so much better knowing that they are there, they hear everything at night. I can tell just by watching their reactions whether I need to be concerned or not. Also, we have the motion detector lights as well, installed on our front porch and on the side of our house. They are great, anytime anyone comes close at night, they pop on. They really were very inexpensive also.
One other idea to help.......there is a show that I love on Discovery, called 'It Takes a Thief'. They show you how to keep your home safe from burglars. It's kind of funny, but the website has a really neat interactive feature that shows you how to make your house safer, here's the link if you're interested:

http://dsc.discovery.com/fansites/ittakesathief/splash.html

Don't feel lonely, I still have nights where I get up and just have to go check on my daughter to make sure everything is ok! :o) Good luck.

Well, A., you could get a good watch dog! Seriously! If neither of your family members are allergic, a dog is a good alternative to an expensive alarm system. We have two! Not that we got them for that purpose only, but, it turns out, they bark if someone is at the door or on our porch. And usually, if a would be intruder hears a bark from a big dog (Not a little chihuahua!), they are deterred. Our dogs are Weimaraners...docile family pets, great with the kids, and almost non-shedding short hairs! That part, i love. We also have a sign posted in our yard, close to the house, from ADT security systems. It implies that we have an alarm system, but we do not! Sometimes, just simple measures like that can scare away potential bad people. Also, i think your fears will subside a bit once you become accustomed to your new neighborhood and have been there a little while longer. Break-ins occur much less than the TV shows lead you to believe! :) I too love to watch Forensic Files and CSI, Without A Trace, etc. etc. But, i'm comfortable with my neighbors and neighborhood, so i don't have the same fears that you do. I have 3 kids, soon to be four, and my husband travels for a living, so he is gone ALOT...and it's just me and the kids alone for days to weeks on end! Don't feel bad. My youngest is 3, oldest is 14, due to deliver #4 in July! I hope you get the peace of mind you needed from all the advice you get from us Mommies on this forum!!! ;) Good luck!

That is a rational fear! I second (or third...or fourth...) the suggestion to get a dog. They're not quite as expensive as an alarm system, and they're way more fun! We have a coonhound who is the most loving, patient creature I've ever met. We got him from the Humane Society. Any time something strange is going on outside he howls. The best part about his howl is that it's loud enough to wake us, but gentle and not as scary as a dog that barks so it never wakes the baby.

I've been in the same situation before. For me I just told myself it was just looking out for my children. I don't believe your crazy(lol). I just went around the house before I went to bed and checked the windows and doors. I always felt better doing that. As for your neighbor, he just might be a hermit and likes to be left alone.

If you're half crazy, then I'm FULL crazy, because I fear the same thing, and I have twins. Ha, just kidding, we're not crazy. I think it is pretty normal for a mother to worry about things like that, especially watching tv shows and the things we hear on the news. I think probably just being in a new house, which is still a bit unfamiliar, will spark these fears and make them seem worse. If everything is locked well, I'm sure if someone were to break in there would be a big commotion, in which you would have time to respond. But I think the chances of someone breaking into your house and stealing your son are pretty slim. Don't get me wrong, it does happen, but statistically, not as often as you might fear. I think your feelings and fears are valid. It is something that everyone with children should have in the back of their mind, but if it starts to disrupt your "normal" life, such as having to bring him into bed with you every night, these fears could become quite a problem. Give it some time, and if the fear becomes stronger, or doesn't subside in time, I would maybe seek some outside help with dealing with this fear. (I'm sorry, I work in mental health, can't help bringing up this option.) Anyway, I hope that you begin to feel more comfortable soon, and if you ever want to talk more about it, I'm quite a good listener!!! Good luck !

You aren't crazy, but what's funny about your situation and some of the other mom's comments is that I worried so relentlessly about my son falling off the balcony or out of a window that I refuse to live anywhere above the first floor :) I guess we all have our quirks!

I think the lady that said a dog might be a good investment could be right, of course then you have to pay for shots and food and usually within a year an alarm could have been bought and installed at the cost of a pet. I recommend you meditate; very useful in reducing stress and worry. Maybe just for 10 minutes every other day sit quietly with your eyes shut and just sort of let your thoughts come and go, focus more on breath and don't try to really do anything. It will help. Yes I'm serious...I used to watch scary shows and movies and then get all tripped out that someone was in my apartment and I would go room to room, closet to closet to confront my intruder. I much less jumpy now that I meditate. Seriously.

Also remember that people like Jeffery Dahmer amongst thousands of other child snatchers and murders out there looked like perfectly normal people to their neighbors and coworkers. Usually the people who look weird and suspicious are the normal ones. Maybe if you baked your neighbor a pie and introduced yourself you would see that perhaps he's just a lonely guy that's solitary in nature. Maybe he bought that house with his wife and planned on a big family but then his wife died suddenly in a car accident or from an aneurysm and he's depressed. Maybe he is allergic to the sun. Maybe he works third shift. You just never know; most people are harmless, though there are some bad ones out there. But if you talked to him, borrowed a neighborly cup of sugar, you might find he's an alright guy, just quiet. Try not to see the worst in people :) Most of us just want loved and accepted by the people closest to us; maybe even by a neighbor.

I have that fear as well. But my 2 youngests beds are in our room( one is an infant and my 3 yr old sleep walks so we gotta keep her close) My oldest is upstairs. I have an irrational; fear someone will get up there. The only thing I can tell you is to keep all bushes away from that side and keep it well lit. The more visible the area the less likily anyone is to attempt to break in for whatever reason. Also you could make your own alarm of sorts at his window rig up a bell or something else loud so that if someone opens his window it rings. Make it old fashioned with string or just hang the bell with the lip just over the edge of the window, when the window opens it hits the bell. This is also a good way to make sure he hasn't gotten out of his crib and is playing with the window. I would imagine if someone breaks the window you would here that. Another option is getting a dog. Nothing is going to make the fear go away but these might help you sleep better.

Hey A.,

While you may seem to be half crazy I do know what you are feeling. My husband and I had lived in a second floor apartment with our two girls and then moved to the ground floor of a much bigger apartment. To make matters worse our bedrooms are across the apartment from the girls'. When we first moved here I couldn't sleep for the first two months!!! I had that same underlying fear that someone would brake in and take my precious girls.

But alas, I came to the realization that you can't live paranoid in your own home. I save it for when we are in public...lol.

If you go to familywatchdog.com you can type in your address and a map will pop up with different colored dots. These dots represent registered sex offenders in the area. Each color means a different type of crime. The site will explain further. This actually put me at great ease because I found out that there wasn't one single offender in our immediate area. You can probably go to your local police website as well. They usually have a link for offenders as well.

I hope your anxiety improves soon. We wouldn't want your son getting too used to the idea of sleeping with mom and dad.

It's good to know other moms have similar somewhat irrational fears! I have had conversations with girls in my playgroup about our crazy fears. One mom checks her son's closets every night. I check the doors several times to make sure they are locked. I now make sure the stove is off and the toaster is unplugged "just in case". I think your fears are normal. PS we moved into a house where the bedrooms are upstairs because of my crazed fears... You're not alone in feeling half crazy! LOL -S.

wow, this sounds fimliar to me. I myself have been married for 3 years and have a 16 month old son. We just moved out of an apartment into a house in March. Same thing about the neighbor hood and neighbor. I am afraid if I am outside doing something and he is sleeping he will sneak in and take him. But then again I am a worry wart and fear the worst for anything. I have gotten better all I can tell you is that eventually you will get over it and that fear will turn into another. I think it is apart of being a mother. Good luck!

A.,
I was (and may be still) overprotective in that I worry that someone is going to try to take my son. I, like you, am not overprotective in any other way. We moved a few months ago too, into our first home, when my son was about 7 months old. I was so worried the first few nights I could hardly sleep. I listened so closely to his monitor to make sure that nothing was going on in his room that shouldn't be, (like someone breaking in at night.) The fear has somewhat subsided since I have become more settled into our home, and feel safer here myself. Yes, people still say that I lock the house down like Fort Knox, but at least now I can sleep at night. I talked to my dad about it, and he said that I was letting fear control my life, and I didn't want to live that way. I swore I wouldn't even walk around the neighborhood for fear that someone was watching and calculating a move againest us. I knew that those feelings would bleed over onto my son, and make him fearful if I didn't get control now. I realized that I can't stop living life because something "might" happen. I still need to try to be careful, (I always have my cell phone on me, and plan to buy some mace for when we walk around the neighborhood,) but unless I stop this now, my son will not live a normal childhood. The same way that your child won't because he is sleeping in your bed, and not learning to comfort himself, and feel safe in his own bed. If you don't have a monitor, (which I'm sure you do,) get one and just keep an ear open at night and make sure the doors are locked before you go to bed, and keep a light on. Keeping a light on may make someone think that someone is up, and ward off a predator. You may not sleep well the first few nights, but you are working your way toward a healthy lifestyle for both you, and your child. Good luck!

C.

I have had a similar fear in the past, but I don't think it is quite to the same extent. We just want to protect our kids, and having a strange neighbor is enough to set us off!

I like the idea of putting an alarm by the window. . . I know my son got a free toy from McDonalds that is a spy toy that beeps when anything goes past it. It is really annoying, and I'm sure they make similar products for real use! If you have a baby monitor, you would DEFINITELY hear it beeping! :)

I think the reason I've never been too worried to sleep is because we have a big (very docile) dog. But, he is protective. We have lived in less than the best neighborhoods in the past (not in FW), and had two incidents of someone trying to break in our house while we slept. Our dog scared them away both times. He is not a barker, and in the middle of the night we woke to a single "rugh". Initially, we didn't notice anything. The next day we would find the evidence that someone had tried to break in. (A ripped screen the first time, a cracked window from someone trying to pry the window open with a crow bar another time. The one disadvantage we had was an enclosed porch on each of those houses. Once the person got on the porch, he/she could work without being seen. Like the other person posted - keep shrubs, planters, etc. away from the windows, and keep the exterior of your house well-lit. Or, get a dog. :)

You're not crazy! I have the same fear and I think of myself as a rational sane person. I even had a baby monitor on my son until he was 3, not incase he woke up, but incase someone tried to open his window! I understand you can't afford an alarm system but what I have thought about getting are little devices that goes on the windows, and when the window opens it sends an alarm to the monitor, which I would have in our room. I haven't gotten any yet, and I think I have gotten a little over the fear, but it might help. And I think they are inexpensive too. I can't remember what they are called, but I'm sure you could find them on the internet. Trust me you would be surprised at some of the fears "normal" moms have!

i sometimes have the same irrational fears. it's ok to worry about your kids as long as it's not to the point where it is enterfearing with your normal activities. since you can not invest in a full fledged alarm system, lowes and walmart sell small battery operated window alarms. they are not very expensive...and they just stick to the frame...one on the window or door and one on the frame. they have three settings...off, chime and alarm. once the window or door is opened, the sensor can tell the two pieces have separated and the alarm/chime sounds. also try getting a baby monitor...we got a pretty good one at wal-mart and it was only like $15 and i can every sound in my daughters room...even if i take the reciever out into te back yard.

I moved homes with a 10 month old last year and I know what you're going through. I felt unsafe because I didn't know my neighbors or the area. I was always a little tense and imagined my home was in danger of being broken into. This was an irrational fear but it had a very real effect on my mind.

We took in a stray dog we found while hiking who happened to be a gift from God. She's wonderful in everyway. The first time she growed at a package carrier all of my fears dissolved.

Your husband may have similar fears but just won't express them to you because he can't do anything to fix the problem. My husband kept his fears to himself but did eventually express relief knowing I had a dog at home with me all day.

Another benefit of having a dog is that she cleans up after my son eats and spills some food on the floor. There's a little more hair in the carpet but no stale Cherrio's ;)

E.

A., you're not crazy. Or if you are, it seems that we all are, lol. Ever since we've had children, I've hated being alone at night (or during severe weather) because I am afraid something's going to happen. My husband works a lot of night shifts, and I will not go to sleep in our bed until he gets home. I doze off on the couch until then because I don't sleep as soundly there. Things that help me are to keep the blinds and curtains closed at night, I make sure the deadbolt is secure on the back door, I leave a light and the television on in the living room, even if I'm not in there, and I keep the phone beside me at all times. The few times I have gotten spooked, I grab my husband's riffle (of which we have NO ammo for...but an intruder doesn't know that, lol) or one of his swords and do a sweep of the house. We live in a very small town with hardly any crime, but we moved here from a not-so-nice town, so it's hard to relax, even when I know there's 2 police officers that live in my neighborhood.

Install motion lights around your front and back doors, and in your yard if you're really scared. They can be turned off during the day to save power, but are useful when you hear something go "bump" in the back yard at 1am.