I am 51 and have been dealing with the same issue.. In terms of facial moisturizer, I use Dr Hauschka's Rose Cream (don't get the light) .. get the regular day cream. it's pricey at 42 in the store, but online via amazon or ebay, you can find it much cheaper. That said.. It's about the only cream that does the trick.. by that I mean, really moisturizes my skin and doesn't make me break out.. yes, at 51, I can still have small breakouts.. Growing up and into my early 40s, my skin was still very oily, but in the couple years.. WHAT a big difference..
You mention needing a conditioner, we use one with rosemary oil... also.. I wear my hair really short and because of this, while I don't wash it with shampoo everyday, I do wet it.. not overusing shampoo (esp one of sodium laurel sulfate) can help.. conditioners, some swear by pure coconut oil.. For me, I can't use straight up oil, I don't like the feel..
lastly, regarding your hair dye.. I like to dye my hair as well, but switched over to Naturtint. You can buy it at places like whole foods. (get it on sale) at around 14... it covers grey and is less harsher than other hair color..
oh and on days when I don't drink at least 32 oz of water.. I notice a big difference in my skin.. so drink your water..