I have hair like yours, but have to wash daily because it just sticks up in cowlicks if I don't. I have stand up grey hairs on top that are fine but coarse.
A big help for me was going from long hair, to shoulder length bob to now chin length bob. My hair feels soft for the first time in ages. I only foil twice a year (to blend the greys with my brown). Before it was chin length, the ends felt dry, crunchy at times or did the flyaway thing.
My salon uses Bumble and Bumble. The shampoo my stylist gave me did not have sulfates in it. That's the thing that causes shampoos to suds up. I guess that's the ingredient that can potentially dry hair out and also strip color. I then used a conditioner that was not too heavy (I have fine hair) and I concentrated it more on the ends. Left on for 3 minutes in the shower before rinsing out.
I second the morocan hair oil. There is a type for finer hair. I have had my bottle for 2 years now. You squirt a few squirts into palm, run through your fingers, then run through ENDS of your hair. Not near scalp - you'll get the oilies.
I also am very cautious with my blow dryer. My stylist said let hair dry till damp on own before styling with dryer. Don't cook hair.
I ran out of my Bumble and Bumble and am now using the Aussie Purple (Volume) shampoo and conditioner of my daughter's. I love it. To be honest, not sure it's making that much of a difference over my Bumble and Bumble. It's lightweight too.