Hair Care Crisis for 1 Year Old

I have a 3 year old biracial daughter and have struggled with her hair since she was 6 months old. She's always had a lot of hair and as she's gotten older, it's gotten thicker and more kinky (extremely curly). While not all biracial children have the same hair (just like not all people of other races have the same hair), I have heard that leave-in conditioners are the best. I've tried TONS of spray detanglers which worked at first when she was younger but now that her hair is so thick, the only leave-in conditioner I've found that keeps her curls nice and not frizzy is Paul Mitchells "The Conditioner." It's a blue conditioner that you can work through her hair and then comb through.

The other IMPORTANT thing to do with your daughter at this age is to consistently run your hands or a comb through her hair multiple times a day so she can get used to having her hair done. I didn't do this with my daughter when she was young and just put her hair in pom poms and now she is EXTREMELY tender headed (which makes doing her hair everyday QUITE the challenge).

I tried growing her hair out so it would weigh it down but that didn't work. I would advise against using grease and any other heavy products in her hair at this age. Again, the leave in conditioner will make the curls look very nice (works best if you put it in while her hair is wet and then let it air dry). Then it will look nice just combed through if you don't put it up.

Also, my daughter's hair never stayed in braids (her hair has been long enough since she was 1). THe texture is too soft and the braids came out very easily. She screamed anytime we had someone put it in braids as it was very painful and it ended up not being worth it.

Hope this helps! Good luck!

Hi! I know how it feels to have that thick, curly hair. First, Im sure that her curls are beautiful, but tangly right? I have used many products high priced, and cheap and nothing worked or really did what I wanted it to do. I use Carols Daughter products for my hair and my sons hair. Her "Hair Milk" works perfect for dryer curls to give it shine, bounce and make it manageable. You can try her website its www.carolsdaughter.com and she has tips that she recommends for kids. You can also get her products form sephora. There is one at Oak Park Mall up stairs by BEBE. But I know from experience the struggle. 2nd Always use a leave-in conditioner after regular shampoo and conditioner. Also you need to have a detangling comb and after washing and conditioning, you will have to comb through sections at a time--very small sections. After you have comb through apply the "Hair Milk" to give moisture and define curls and let her hair go free don't do as many ponytails. 3rd PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT RELAX her hair. Hope that helps, check out the website and her tips for kids cause that "Hair Milk" worked wonders on my hair. let me know if you have any other questions.

T., I agree with the other lady: black hair products are a gimmick and not good for "black hair", "mixed hair," or ANY hair for that matter. Stay away from the grease and pink moisturizer stuff all together. It's not that she has "mixed" or "black" hair, it's that it's curly...and may be dry.

I wouldn't even suggest asking a black woman, we have been conditioned and "propaganda'ed" into using "black hair" products or relaxers and many of us don't know how to take care of our own hair. See someone who specializes in curly hair. What curly hair does normally need is moisturizer. Since the hair curls so much, it's natural moisture cannot work its way down the locks of hair.

I will say that there are two "black" products I have found that work well: Cream of Nature moisturizing shampoo followed up by "Tea Tree Cholesterol" by Lustrasilk.

As far as styling it, I would stick to a pomade or a bit of Fantasia IC Hair Polisher Styling Gel. It is alcohol free (so won't dry it out) and doesn't flake. It actually makes my daughter's hair really soft. Just use a bit. All that stuff can be found pretty cheaply at Sally Beauty Supply.

Lastly, it is probably best that she wear her hair in it's natural curls, rather than trying to pull it into ponytails. You can take a bit of the gel and twirl her hair around your finger to "finger curl" it for definition.

Hey there T.!
I am a licensed cosmetologist. Here are some things that have worked for my clients that are having the same problem as you are. Don't use that hair grease. If it's eating through her hair bands think what it's doing to her hair! Get some "smoothing hair serum" for her hair. Matrix makes a really good serum but it's kind of expensive. You can even go to Wal-mart and check out all of their products. Anyway, after you wash her hair put that in there. You shouldn't have to use too much but with any type of hair you are just going to have to play around with it. After you put the serum in you should have no problem styling her hair. My girlfriend would take her index finger and twirl her hair around it to make little ringlets. The serum will keep her hair from getting that dry whispy look and will not make her hair look wet or greasy. This way you can just put a cute little barrett in to keep her hair out of her eyes. Also you have to keep in mind that she is 1 and almost all toddlers look like they have been through the war zone. Good luck! Hey, great job with finishing school! You are awesome!

I asked my friend to respond since she has three little mixed girls...
Hi D., Glad to help!

Our kids' hair is more like Pete's because my hair is naturaly really curry. OUr kids don't have the kind of "mixed" hair that often comes out long, soft, curly and managable. I say this because a lot of times that is the case if mom has straight hair. If that's the case, the mom can avoid a lot of braid syles as well as relaxers.

But, most importantly, I have learned NOT to use the hair shampoo, conditioner, grease or styling oils that are specifically for ethnic hair. The best, most complete hair care line that is for all types of hair is Paul Mitchell. The biggest myth for black people is that the have to use a black hair care line. I can get back to you about the names of the products, but for starters, I use a moisture shampoo and conditioner in the Paul Mitchell line. Then there is a hydrating leave in product - like anti-frizz and another one I can't remember the name.

That is probably enough info to get her started. If her daughter has a lot of hair and she would like to learn how to do braids, I could give her a name of a gal we go to.

Take care,

gretchen

I used to do hair before staying home with my now 2 year old. I would highly recommend Bumble and Bumble's products for curly hair. Yes, it's pricey, BUT, it's an amazing product and a little goes a looonnnnngggg way so you really get your moneys worth. You might have to go to their website to see who carries it in your area- it's a pretty exclusive product. But really...it's money well spent.

Hi T.,

Envia hair products are awesome! They leave the hair so manageable & it is the best of science & nature blended together so it is really good for the scalp & hair. I do want to congratulate you for your hard work in college to better yourselves!

You can call or e-mail me for information on the Envia hair products.
P. Elting
###-###-####
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i have really curly hair. i use 'mop top' products, or 'deva curl' products. you can buy them online, or at certain salons. i've also been to 'bouffant daddy' for a hair cut - in maplewood - on manchester - they specialize in cutting curly hair. also there's a book called 'curly girl' by the deva curl people. lots of advice and home recipes for curly hair - like sprays to keep down frizz, etc.

i am mixed descent myself and have a few questions for you. Is your daughter's hair fine? thin? thick? straight? wavy? curly? kinky? I myself have fine, thick, curly hair that I cannot use regular shampoo on. This may cost more money, but if your daughter's hair is as delicate as I think it is, invest in a good shampoo. Some good shampoos are Paul Mitchel for kids (excellent product, i use this for my daughter) If you are worried about cost, Sunsilk de frizz (in the green bottle) and Pantene are fabulous. Never brush hair. Invest in a long toothed pick or comb. If using the Sunsilk leave in creme or the Pantene Pro-V Restoratives Frizz Control product, use a pea sized amount of leave in conditioner and work that in daughter's hair. Now you can use the pick/comb to lightly detangle hair. The leave in creme should leave your daughter's hair in pretty curls. Some styles i learned for my hair is to put my hair up in a french braid. Be very careful about pulling her hair in a tight ponytail, bun. This can cause a type of alopecia to occur because of the stress to the hair roots.

Oh do I know all too well what you're going through... and it only gets more complicated as she gets older and her hair gets longer! But you can do it! I get so many compliments on my daughter's hair (when it's done) but there are daily struggles. She is now six and I still experiment with different products as I have not found one that I LOVE for her hair. So far what I do is wash it very rarely, maybe once every one-two weeks. Condition daily and I use Pantene for colored women. My daughter is six, so I think at one we were still using a baby shampoo. I personally don't like products for "black" hair because her hair isn't that texture and really just doesn't work. Product wise, I use Frizz ease, as well. I have a friend whose daughter is also mixed and she uses the Pink Moisturizer, again I personally don't like it. Oh! When my daughter was little we used Creamy baby oil! You can get it at wal mart. Please feel free to email me with anymore questions, I really do feel your frustration!!!

Hi T.,

Arbonne makes an awesome line of baby care products, one being a hair & body wash that is all natural. My clients who are using this line absolutely love it. The good thing is we carry a 45 day money back guarnatee so you can try it and if it just isn't something you like you can get your money back. The entire baby line is both dermatologist and pediatrician tested as well. I can also show you how to order and get a 35% discount, or you can just order retail. If you want more info just let me know. Go to my website and check it out at www.vickimartinez.myarbonne.com! Hope you find what works very soon. V.

A co-worker of my suggests that you visit mixedchicks.com for hair products. She has two mixed daughters & experience the same problems. Also, you may want to wet the hair before you apply the hair products. Hope this helps!

My ex-boyfriend's daughter was mixed, and I used frizz ease on her hair.

i don't know how long the baby's hair is,one thing i did for my girlfriend was to texturize her hair. you use thinning shears for this, very little cutting will do the trick. it defines each curl and lightens the weight of the hair.or take her to someone that would do it for you. i'd be happy to help you learn how to do this,even if it's not good for now, you'll prabably benefit learning this technique for later. i live in the olathe area. sorry for the late response.good luck.

Hi T.! I maybe able to help! I'm a Independent Rep for a Company called JoyUSA and we have wonderful products for hair conditions such as dry, oily, un-manageable etc. My Website http://www.freewebs.com/bttybeal is posted on mommasourse for these miracle products. Please take a look and discover for yourself what our products can do for your daughter. I know alot of people are skeptical on products they have never heard of or tried before, but believe me, these work. Take Care.

I don't have ideas for you, but just an encouragement. My next door neighbor's daughter is mixed as well. She is now 1 1/2, and her hair is gradually getting longer. I think it just takes time. The baby wears lots of little pony tails, too. I am jealous, my daughter's hair is so fine that barrettes and hair ties don't even stay in...:)

T., try using Vitapoint or Liv. I prefer Liv. If neither of those work, send me a note and I will try to get more information for you.

Hi T., you said child was mixed . i guess you are he whote parent. i would suggest you get advise from a black mother how to deal with it. I know i am white but had kinky curly hair at that age. their was not much to do but just wait tull it grows moew. It is hard to know how to answer you ,not saying if you were black or father was. sounds though like you have never handles black hair, so i assume you are white. Just let it go natural till it grows, mixed chidren are the most gorgous i think. but like i said get some advise from the same race mom and they will know what to do. I know i had a black friend that stayed all nights when we were in fifth grade. We thought we would do each others hair,lol. i brushed through my lonf black, and i took out all of her braids,her mom and dad we staying all night too. They though it was funny but her mom said it took hours to do her hair. i knew then our hair was very different. I woud most likely put a very heavy conditioner on it, as she grows it will be beatiful. Hope i helped any , J. God bless you and yours

Hello, I dont know if you have tried this or not. My parents adopted 3 younger children when I was a teenager and I remember using a product called Pink Luster Oil (or maybe cream) on thier hair when they were younger. It worked until they got older and had more hair to deal with. Know they use a pretty basic brand of grease. They get it at walmart, its blue in color and of course I can not remember the name. I got so used to doing my little sisters hair that when I had children of my own it took a lot of practice to get it down bacause I was used to doing thiers. I will try to get ahold of my mom today and ask her the specific name of what they use. Feel free to reply to this if you need to. E.

You can use Mineral oil or hair products for curly perms. This will moisture her hair and well help it to grow. Remind a little can go a long way. pracice to see how much is needed since most of these products are very oily. Also if you can find someone that doesn't mind braiding (cornrows) baby hair, this also helps the hair to grow. Good luck.

Hi T.,
Just for me is what my friends had always used on thier children of mixed race.However if that's not working try Garnier fructis.My friend's niece's hair(who is mixed) is always really soft and managable and even smells really good.I asked her what she was putting in her hair to make it so cute,soft,and managable she said she uses garnier frucis.I am not sure which type she uses but I als know my hair is very thick and curly and I use thier curl cream and really like it.

Try Luster's Pink Oil Moisturizer. STAY away from those Just for me products & DON'T put any type of relaxer on her hair. You need to brush her hair & scalp to stimulate the growth of her hair. You don't need a lot of it as the hair will become greasy. Keep using little pom poms, you might dress them up with barretts, put zig zag parts in her head & if her hair is lond enough for pom poms where you can braid it individually & add beads to them. You might not think her hair is long enough to braid & it really might be. I commend you on moving forward & raising your daughter & furthering your education. I do Mary Kay & it's a grrrreat part-time income for me. I do it around my full-time job, family & life itself. Don't get frustrated it doesn't just come over night how to do hair. Good luck & God Bless! Let me know if that helps:->!

Did you ever think about just putting the oil on her hair and letting her wear it down? You can buy some really cute soft head bands for babies,too. I also have heard my hairdresser recommending style mousse to mom's of bi-racial children. Maybe look in your local phone book or ask around for a good hairdresser in your area and she can probably give you some suggestions as to what to do that won't harm her hair or skin. I applaud you for trying to find out what to do since you don't know. Good luck!

there is a book you can check out in the library called "curly girl"... tells you all sorts of ways to style/condition it.

Hi T.. I apologize for not reading all of the responses, so someone else may have already said this. However, I would strongly caution you AGAINST putting any 'texturizer' or other chemical straigtener in her hair at such a young age. I also agree to stay away from the 'Black' hair care products. I'm Black and my son is biracial. I have always used Pantene "Soft Start" (curl defining leave in conditioner). It smells great and doesn't leave his hair greasy. Hope this helps.

Many blessings to you and your baby :-}