Habitual Waking in the Night

Updated on June 12, 2007
B.H. asks from Lacey, WA
12 answers

My 7month old used to sleep for 6-8 hour stretch at night, get up to eat, and go right back down for a total of 12 hours. It was great. Then she started pulling herself up into standing position and teething at the same time. Now she gets up 2-3 times in the night. I nurse her because I am not sure what else to do, and she goes right back down...but only for 2 hours and then up again. And she wakes up at the EXACT same times every night. You could set your clock by it. So I do not think she actually needs to eat, and isn't screaming becuase of her teeth anymore (yet). I use the teething tablets and they seem to work good. So should I let her cry at those times and see if you puts herself back to sleep? I just think this is a habit and we need to break it before it gets worse! Any advice?

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K.Z.

answers from Portland on

Babies do wake up at night to practice new skills. Standing is the new thing and she wants to do it all the time! Sounds like she's getting ready for walking! My son did this too.

I don't think letting a baby cry is necessarily the best option. It may work for some, but it doesn't work for all, just know your child. My husband let our son cry it out once while I was working in the basement with the door closed. Apparently he cried for 2 hours!! And DH just ignored him (checked on him but wouldn't pick him up)!!! He was hysterical by the time I got to him. Another time I was away and he cried for 1.5 hrs. He is very persistant and higher needs, and he would cry until someone picked him up and held him. So I held him a lot and when he'd wake in the middle of the night to try a new skill (sometimes babbling in his sleep as well), I'd talk softly to him, rub his back, and tell him it was time to sleep, he could crawl or walk in the morning when the sun is up. I don't see any reason to change his personality. It is trying at times, but I know he will grow up to be a leader.

Also, don't forget, as soon as you get used to the way things are (as in sleep schedules, eating habits, abilities), they change! No kidding! Keeps mom on her toes! Try to go with it and not get frustrated or think anything is wrong. It's all necessary to their learning process and there's no need to "break" it.

1 mom found this helpful
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I.K.

answers from Seattle on

Our son had the same issues. It about killed my husband and I both. Out of desperation we finally let him "cry it out". Yep...just let him cry. Didn't do in to check on him. Nothing. We just put ear plugs in and tried to ignore it. The first night he cried for about 45 minutes. The second and third night he cried for 15 minutes. Ever since then (about 3 months and counting) he's slept through the entire night EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I would highly recommending trying this same thing out. Make sure you give your child a few nights to figure out to how to put herself back to sleep.

Moxie has lots of advice. I suggest reading up here:
http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006/02/qa_what_are_sle.html

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.J.

answers from Spokane on

My son did not start sleeping through the night until I stoped nursing witch was about 8 months. I did set a rule when woke up at night I would not go in there and let him cry for no longer then 5 min. I figured if he really did not need anything then he would stop before 5 min. which only happened once. If you don't likethat idea try going in there and try to get her to lie down and rub her back or belly. She just might need some comfort not nessaryly food. Hope this helps

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K.O.

answers from Portland on

I don't think you should nurse her, that might encourage her to continue or even increase the behavior. Whenever kids learn new things, like standing up, they wake up and practice at night. So two things... First, this is a phase that will pass. Second, I would let her cry a bit and see what happens. If it doesn't seem like she's going to go back to sleep go into her room and comfort her briefly and then leave again. Each time you go into her room make the visit shorter with less interaction. You'll get through this. :)

1 mom found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Seattle on

When I read some stuff (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child), I decided to go "all in" and let my son cry when he awoke during the night. It sounds similar to your situation, always waking up at the same times. After some tough nights (listening to them cry can be so horrible, and just heartbreaking, but compared to the good stuff that results, it's only temporary), he learned to put himself back to sleep. He still cries every now and then, but mostly it is the most cute chattering, and we like to listen in on the monitor.

1 mom found this helpful
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X.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hello,

I am currently experiencing the same thing with a 10 1/2 month old. I have been asking a lot of experienced mom's who have told me that when a child learns something new it can affect their sleep patterns. I was also told it may have something to do with the time change and that it is much lighter outside now late into the evening. We just bought some blackout blinds in hope that this may help. I would also agree that feeding them is not the best idea, only because they may begin to grow accustomed to eating at that time. I understand the desperation, BELIEVE ME!! We have brought her into bed with us a few times just to get some sleep! I wish you the best of luck, and just know: you are not alone!!

1 mom found this helpful
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R.V.

answers from Seattle on

i had a similar issue... my daughter is 9 months and had been waking in the night... not hungry, but nursing would put her right back to sleep and being tired at 4 am, i just did it to get some more sleep. well my dr recommended the "cry it out' thing...and we didnt do it right away.... she had an ear infection around 7 months, and then a cold, and was teething so we just brought her to our bed and i nursed her and we all went back to sleep, however once the cold was over, she would wake up b/n 3 and 4 am every night, of course she would nurse, but only for a couple of minutes so i figured out that hunger wanst the issue. anyways about 3 weeks ago i decided it was time to let her cry it out... it really really works. when she would wake up she would stand up at the rails closest to the door and not so much cry as yell...anyways the first night is very rough... she yelled for about 30 minutes, then laid back down and slept 4 more hours. the next 3 nights, she slept all night. then the following night she woke up and was up for about 10 or so minutes before falling back asleep. then she slept all night the next 2 nights. then one more night she was up for less than 5... and now she has been sleeping all night for us every night. its hard to do, but actually her days are even more enjoyable now... she takes better naps, she eats her solids better, she plays more, and cuddles more. i highly recommend it.

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A.P.

answers from Bellingham on

I have had to let my daughter cry it out before to get her back on track, but I usually wait until I can't take it anymore before I do, because a lot of time it just passes. Maybe give it a little more time first.

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J.M.

answers from Portland on

I was suprised to find out that when I moved my little girl out of our room she started sleeping through the night, oh she would wake, and fuss a bit but because I had to get up and get out there it took me longer and she would often put herself to sleep before I got to her, so I started waiting and listening to see if her crying got louder or if she would put herself back to sleep. sometimes she did and sometimes she didnt. When they are right next to you it is too hard to lay there and let them fuss, and also they can see you and thats harder on them.good luck, Jen

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D.D.

answers from Portland on

One of my sons did this and the doctor asked if he was still sleeping in my room (and he was) and she said that he was probably waking because he knew I was right there. I moved him into his brother's room and he never woke up again during the night. ever.
When my 3rd son was born we didn't have room in the other room for his crib, so we hung a large sheet from the ceiling at the foot of our bed *like a wall* so he couldn't see us and that worked just the same! Good luck!

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A.H.

answers from Seattle on

Hello,
My daughter went through a similar thing, and I was nursing her to get her back to sleep because it was fast and easy. My advice is to go with your gut and let her cry. I did that with my daughter and it eventually worked. A word of caution, expect it to take a week or more for her to really stop crying quickly. If you give up after a couple of days you probably didn't allow enough time for her to get used to putting herself to sleep. Good luck, I hope it goes well.

A.

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D.H.

answers from Eugene on

My son does the same thing. He used to be such a good sleeper. The doc said he's a trained night feeder/waker, so I've been trying to get him back to sleep without nursing but it's hard, I'm tired and it's so easy to just pull him into bed and nurse him (especially since I don't want him to wake my boyfried who works all the time so I can stay home). You have the right idea, because now that my son is almost 10 months old he has it figured out that if he cries long enought someone will rescue him. He's cried for 3 hours or more sometimes, and nothings wrong, he just wants to nurse and be in bed with mommy and daddy. There are alot of sleep training methods out there, we're still trying to find one that works for us. We tried the one where you go in and re-assure them but don't pick them up, but that just gets my son even more worked up. Good Luck with your daughter, I know this didn't help much but, at least you know others have the same problem. I hope you two get it worked out.
D.

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