Guilty Thoughts

Good Lord, girl, you're thinking WAY too much into this.

You CAN control what you DO, but you CAN'T really control what you feel.

(Tonight, it's me and Harrison Ford on the sofa. Got NOTHIN' to do with my guy!)

:)

If those are the worst thoughts you have you are near saintly in my eyes = ) I have rather terrible thoughts and don't feel guilty because they stay in my head, I don't share them or act on them!

I think it's natural to fantasize... that's probably why he brushed it off. Chances are he does the same thing. My fiance already knows that I lust after (but would never do anything with) Josh Turner and Orlando Bloom :). Fantasize all you want, as long as you don't act on them (or obsess over it) you aren't doing anything wrong.

Robin, stop feeling guilty. We have all had those feelings!! I think it is a normal part of life, and it doesn't mean that is what you are wishing for. Sometimes our thoughts just get away with us. Cheer up!!

Mentally cheating is when you fall for another and have an emotional relationship. For example, you have a coworker and you find yourself constantly at his desk. You can't get thoughts of him out of your mind. You find yourself texting, e-mailing or calling him because you just can't get enough. It never gets physical, but it is consuming.

It sounds to me like that is not at all what's going on with you. Fantasizing about a hottie is completely normal! It's ok to find someone attractive. It's ok to wonder if they're a good kisser as long as it's only a fleeting thought and not a whole-hearted wish or obsession!

I'm sure your husband knows this is normal and if you're this stressed out about something so minor, he surely knows you would never actually cheat. You'd never be able to cope with that amount of guilt!

You are beating yourself up over something you can't control. It's human nature - everyone does it to varying degrees. I would guess your husband laughed because he adores you and your honesty. I bet he does it too (not something you want to hear, I realize) but wouldn't say it because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Our thoughts can lead to actions but that is not necessarily true and certainly not true in this situation.

I go to art museums all the time... as long as I'm not trying to take the paintings home with me... I'm good. That's how I view other people. I can look, but don't touch. I can enjoy, but not covet.

Dear god... the "thought police". Um. No.

I thought about robbing a bank yesterday... should I confess to the police?
I thought about eating the ENTIRE cheesecake... do the calories count?
I thought about having another baby (I can't)... should I consider myself pregant?
I thought about going running... does my heart (and tucus) see the benefit?

To borrow a VERY useful phrase from a friend "We can't control the first thought, but we can control the second." .... meaning that I can think all I want to about eating that cheesecake, or robbing that bank... it's only a problem if that is the ONLY thing I think about or if... I... actually... do ... it.

To borrow a phrase from my son "Chillax"

:D You're good mama. You've got a healthy libido and imagination. Two good signs for a well functioning adrenal system and brain.

You're so sweet. Quit being so hard on yourself.
Welcome to a man's world. :) Kind of kidding.
It's just fantasizing and you love your hubby and would never cheat on him.
However, I wouldn't share those thoughts w/him again.

Hey - your married, not dead! Everyone faces temptation from time to time whether they admit it or not. As long as you don't act on those thoughts you have done nothing wrong.

I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about. Now if you acted upon these thoughts or you obsessed over another guy or guys to where it's interferring with your relationship with your husband, I would then agree that there is a huge problem. I think we all do this from time to time. It's human nature. You see someone that "rings" your bell and it's just natural to "fantasize" a bit. I have these thoughts from time to time and I also end up having dreams with me and other men. Do I ask for them, no. But who has control over your dreams? I love my husband and I would never do anything to hurt him but I accept the fact that from time to time these thoughts happen. As I am sure it happens to him about other women. We are human. So no, nothing to feel guilty about. Just don't let it rule your life.

Oh my you are being very hard on yourself. I think its pretty normal and nothing to worry about. People see attractive people, its ok. "Mentally cheating" lol what the heck is that??

The thoughts that pop into your head can be kind of random sometimes. If you don't act on them, then there is nothing to feel guilty about. If the thoughts are very disturbing to you or if they are seriously causing you to feel bad about yourself or they interfering with your everyday life, then maybe you should consider seeing a counselor and talk about what has been happening. Otherwise, don't beat yourself up about typical human behavior.

It's normal to fantasize, don't beat yourself up about it. Just because you are married, doesn't mean you stop finding other people attractive - you're married, not dead, for goodness sake ;-)

Do not... over-think this.
You are not, bad.
You are normal.
Its good your Husband has a sense of humor and an intact self-esteem.

Do not 'obsess' over the fact, that you had these random thoughts.
It is not 'cheating.'
Gee, humans have imaginations.

The more you think about it or over-think it... the more you will think about it.
Like picking a scab.
Or biting your fingernails.

Do.Not.Worry.

Or, are you hitting a different age decade soon, or Birthday?
Some people get age related, issues.

The mind is your own private playground. There is a reason God gave us brains-so we wouldn't get bored being good with our bodies all the time! Don't tell the hubs next time.

First of all... Whoever came up with the idea that fantasizing is mentally cheating... Well, I can't say what I think of them because I would be banned from this site.

It's FANTASIZING! That's all it is. No harm, no foul.

If fantasizing was an actual sex act, then everybody would go to hell for doing it before they were married (Or something like that... Never did pay attention in church).

Seriously, you can't control your mind. You can't control what you think or what you dream of. You just can't... Trust me, I've tried.

You sound completely normal!! :) I saw something like this on another thread and many people responded with how they do the exact same thing. Don't be so hard on yourself.

.

Hello, It's all quite normal.
K. K.

This is totally normal! When I'm watching TV with my husband I'll even say,
"Oh, he's cute!" or that I love a certain singer or performer. My husband is used to it and he sometimes will say the same thing. We both have our celebrity crushes but we would never act on these things - it's just fantasy. Everyone needs a little fantasy to reduce stress.... Don't worry about this... just enjoy your husband and enjoy your fantasies! Good luck!

OMG! Taking everything way too serious. Just let it roll off your back like water off a ducks back.

Totally normal. You are mentally cheating if you are neglecting your husband and your marriage in favor of your obsession or if you are thinking of ways to cheat. We have been together for 13 years and trust me, I would be taken by celebrities I saw in movies or TV (Taylor Lautner, Curtis Stone, Adam Levine, Kris Allen) because of their looks and talent. But I love my husband without a doubt and our romantic life is pretty good, so I would never trade it in for the unknown.

It's perfectly normal to notice attractive people - you're married, not blind.
It's perfectly normal to fantasize about other people.

As long as you're not actually acting on those fantasies with anyone but the one you've promised monogamy, you are NOT cheating, and you have no reason to feel guilty.

My husband and I both have a free pass list - celebrities that we have told the other, "If ___ makes me an offer, you're either going to have to share, leave the room, or shoot video."

Cut yourself some slack.

They have a new study out that a quick look at an attractive person is healthy in a relationship! That said, try subing in your husband and see if you feel the same thing as when you were fantisizing about the others... I dream about other people sometimes. Sometimes I tell my husband, other times I let him think it was him in the dream... =) Don't feel guilty. Your brain is your most private place. Only if you translate to action should you feel guilty. They are fantasies, like unicorns or dragons, if you saw one in real life, most likely you would run screaming in the other direction, but it is nice to dream!
Good luck!
R.

i think that thoughts like that are normal, but we need to turn off the switch when they start bothering us. you can easily start thinking of something else when these thoughts enter your mind, but i would definately pray about it and ask for help.

Yes we do, but we confess it to othrt woman, not husbands, usually when women have these thoughts it's because something is missing in our marriages, I've been married for almost 30 years, and i have a fantastic husband, but we don't like neck or makeout, and so that is missing for me, so yeah i have thoughts just like you do, Don't feel guilty to the point of where you are right now, for me as a Christian I understand why in the bible God says take every thought captive, becasue many women and men, act on those thoughts, then trouble begins. Just know you are not alone. J.

Please stop feeling guilty immediately (if you haven't already). You are 100% perfectly normal. The only difference between you and every other woman out there (even the ones who won't admit it) is that you are feeling guilty about it! Congratulations on marrying your best friend - you have nothing to worry about. Best wishes for the rest of your life together.

Oh Robin sweet Robin, These are just thoughts, you are not acting on them. We all have them, men and women alike. This is normal. Sharing your thoughts with you husband is fine too, sometimes some things are better left to our own fantasies. I had to deal with a couple of these but feelings and thoughts were about my two BIL's. Yes, I have always been attracted to 2 of my husbands brothers. Both have even lived with us. All these boys (men) are super handsome, all built differently but all with beautiful eyes. I told my hubby and he would laugh and say as long as you don't touch, have your thoughts. I would even have dreams, sexual dreams at that. But after time I came to realize that I love my husband and not them in that way. Me and my husband have that bond. They are both single and when either of them come over, i still get those thoughts and my husband says he can see them flirt with me and laughs and says I know they want you. lol.. But remember babe, i got you and they cant have you. He is just to cute. He gives me that boost of ego i guess i need every once in awhile. He is a little more affectionate when them or any of his friends that come over he thinks i find handsome. I think I do the same thing to him too. You are not cheating, just thoughts and dreams we can not control. They are just thougths!!!