Hi! My son is in 2nd grade and recently got a birthday party invitation for a little boy in his class. The whole class was invited. I asked my son if he wanted to go and he said no b/c he's not really friends with that boy. They were in the same class last year too and while I think they are friendly and get along fine, I just don't think they play that much together. Now, I have a friend whose daughter is the same age and she goes to pretty much every party she's invited too-whether it's a close friend or general invite. For my own kids' birthdays we have never done a whole class invite--I don't want someone to feel obligated to come or send a present if their child is not really friends with mine. I'm curious what other parents do because this can somtimes be a sticky situation.
Thanks all for the feedback. To clarify, the invitations were not passed out at school--our school does not allow that anymore. They were mailed. But I just know it was a whole class invite from talking to a few others. My son used to be up for going to any party he was invited to but that has changed a bit more now. I guess i feel like the party itself is a celebration of the birthday child and if you're just going because you want to have a fun outing than the point is different. Basically, they're not going because they're necessarily friends with the chlld, they just want to have something to do. All good points though--thanks!
We invite everyone and we attend every party we are invited to.
I have had moms tell me we were the ONLY one who invited x all year and how much it meant. I have had snarky moms talk about us inviting everyone and not invite us, but we are trying to model graciousness and being nice to all without being a doormat.
My kids have always attended group parties, when we could go. It is a great way for parents to get to know each other too. I've had group parties for my daughter. She is in high school now and when she tells me about them, I remember them fondly. I would not force her to go to a party if she didn't want to go, but that has never been the case.
I always go, because if only a couple of kids show up it would be so hurtful to the birthday child. I could never be the cause of pain in a child when to prevent it only costs me a $10 gift and a couple of hours of my time. Plus, often my child leaves the party with a new really good friend he only kind of knew before, so it is a win for everyone. Inviting the whole class is a great way for all the kids and parents to have a chance to get to know each other better, and all the kids always have a good time.
I think people make a much bigger deal out of whose party to attend and whose not.
We always invite the entire class but if some do not show, that is fine too. We invite the entire class because I do not want to hurt any young childs feelings. I very much remember that when I was younger.
Go to the birthdays that you can make and those that you cannot or your son has a valid reason why not to go then do not.
The only thing PLEASE RSVP.
I have a 7 and 3 year old. We get lots of "whole class" parties for both of them. We usually go because daughters are just a very social girls, and I also like to encourage her develop friendships. And neither of them would think of saying no to a party!!!
I have hosted a bunch of whole class parties for preschool and under, and i don't believe anyone would feel obligated. If you don't want to come, no big deal to us. (Just RSVP please)
Now that my daughter is older, I am encouraging her to do small special events with just 2-3 kids. Mainly because doing a party for 30 kids is so expensive, and because she does have some well defined friendships.
I think it is better to be fully inclusive (whole class) or keep it super small - or you will have hurt feelings. But in my experience, whoel class parties are still the norm in teh 2nd grade and under.
if he does not want to go then don't make him ... I would not force him to go.
Wow you are all nice moms! My kid's school requires that if you are passing out invitations, that they have to go out to the entire class so no one feels left out. The problem is, that in the 4 parties we have held in the last 2 years, very few, if any, children actually show up. It's not only been a huge waste of money spent, but it's really hurtful to the children when no one shows up. We have made attempts to RSVP and attend any party that the kids are invited to, where they are friends with the birthday child, but it's definitely not what other parents are doing. I am even more shocked by how few parents even bother to RSVP. For my son's last party, we held it at a bouncy house per his request, and I had to pay for a minimum of 10 children. 1 child from his class actually RSVP'd and showed up. Luckily between his sibling, and a few kids from the neighborhood, we had a handful of kids there, but i definitely overpaid. We decided after this past year, that going forward we are just goingto spend the money on family events, where we take them to Sea World or Six Flags or something like that for their birthday, and they an bring 1 friend with them, which we will pay for. It will end up costing us the same amount of money, and avoid the letdowns.
We usually invite a few close friends, but this year I am trying to talk my daughter into inviting her whole class because there are hurt feelings when we don't. We didn't have much trouble when we did all girls in her previous school because most kids did all girls/all boys parties; only a couple of kids did whole class parties. But in our current school, class sizes are smaller and most of the kids do invite everyone. For the other parties, if we're in town, I ask her if she wants to go. If she does, then she can go. She's not incredibly social unless she knows the kids well, but she often wants to go because she knows that her friends will be there. I have no problem letting her stay home if she doesn't want to go--we pack our schedule pretty full and sometimes we need a breather.
I get what you mean about the present deal. But I've learned that most kids still want to be invited. You can informally tell the parents that presents are not required, but most people are afraid that they'll be the only one who doesn't bring one so they'll usually bring one anyway.
I agree with you. I've never invited the entire class to my daughter's party. I only invite the kids she is most friendly with...from her own class and from other classes. I too don't want someone the we hardly know to feel obligated to come and spend the money on a gift. But I also feel that people who invite the entire class are just trying to be kind by not leaving anyone out. Also, if you hand out invites at school, most schools require that you invite the entire class.
When my daughter has been invited to a group party, I leave it up to her if she would like to go. If she's not friends with the birthday person, which has been the case several times, she will say she doesn't want to go.
we invite either the whole class or all the girls to my daughters parties, but few attend...however we try to attend the parties that we are invited to, because I know how much it means to my daughter when a few kids come to her parties & let's face it, the girl just loves a party lol I ask her if she wants to go & the answer is always yes lol & we attend if we can
My son only goes if he wants to and if he is friends with the child.
We have to either invite the whole class or all girls/boys, it's school policy. You can't hand out invites at school if it's only to certain kids. We're doing the whole class for dd's bday in October. If they come, great, if not no big deal. My kids want to go to every birthday, we usually make it to about 1/4 of them depending on whether or not they really like the child. If it's a name my kids have never mentioned before it's an automatic 'no' because I assume if they were good friends I would have heard about them, lol. Lucky for us we have soccer most weekends so are too busy to do parties.
We only do parties, per my kids' friends.
Not the whole class. We do not feel, obligated to do so.
We attend group b-day invitations, IF my child wants to go or if they are friends with that child.
It is up to them.
I feel no obligation to attend nor my kids.
I don't worry about other kids/parents feeling 'obligated' to come to my kids birthday parties... because it is up to them what they want to do or if they want to gift a present. I don't over think it. It is up to, them.
And besides, the kids we invite for my kids birthday parties, ARE their friends. So there is no awkwardness about 'obligation' to it.
My son is in kindergarten. He was in the same Montessori school last year. Every party was a full class party and we attend all the ones we are in town for. I think it is way better - avoids those awful girls or boys only 5 year olds having their nails done like they are 30 parties.
I do exactly what you do, I ask my son if he wants to go if yes then we do, if not then we don't. I have invited all of my sons class before, but not all show up, which is fine by me, but I never want to exclude anyone.
If your son is not friends with the boy and doesn't want to go, then RSVP your regrets. You are never obligated to go to a party just because you get an invite. With 3 kids of my own, the parties get out of hand as does buying presents for all of them. We pick and chose. We only go to our best friends parties. Feelings are not hurt. Its all okay.
