I have been through a friend committing suicide.
His parents and family were devastated.
People handle things in their own way, but his mother told me she wished people would just leave them alone.
The door was constantly ringing with flowers. The door was constantly ringing with people stopping by with food. The door was constantly ringing with people who meant well trying to help.
The mother truly felt she did not have the strength to make anyone else feel better because of their kindness or because of the loss they felt.
She was grieving the loss of her precious son and she felt no one understood how she just needed to be left alone.
She appreciated the thoughts, but she just couldn't face people.
I think it might be best to send a card offering your condolences and offer any support they may feel compelled to ask for. Don't be offended if they ask for nothing.
I was very close to the parents of my friend who committed suicide and it was fine for me to call as I had always had open communication with the family for many years. They sent cards to my children, I stayed at their home when I visited. It was a more intimate relationship.
Even still, the parents were too overwhelmed by the situation itself let alone all the people who were trying so hard to help.
Like I said, everyone is different, but these parents were just too deep in grief to be gracious to all the people who came foreward even though they knew it was all well meaning.
I really think you should send a card expressing your sympathy and your offer to do anything they might need in any way.
Has there been an obituary? Often in suicide cases there isn't.
If there has been a memorial fund set up in her name, you can donate to that or you can donate to a charitable organization in her name. The charitable organization often sends out cards of acknowledgement to the families.
When my mother in law passed away, I was amazed at how many people donated money in her name to different causes and I was notified of all of it. I sent out thank you notes to each and every person.
There are ways to give and honor.
They are all appreciated.
It depends on how close you are as far as calling. I only say that because I know from experience that suicide is the hardest for a family. It wasn't an accident or a terminal illness. It was a choice that haunts.
Things are a blur for that family right now.
I think that writing, offering anything to help when they are ready and having a plan as far as a donation in the person's name can be quite comforting.
Best wishes.
I still miss my friend. It's been years. I still go through anger and sadness and not being able to understand how someone so gorgeous and lively and productive couldn't see that in himself. His family deals with that on an even deeper level after having loved and raised him.
This is one of the saddest things.