Grandparents Raising Grandkids

Updated on March 18, 2008
G.N. asks from Colorado Springs, CO
15 answers

I was just curious if there were any other grandparents raising their grandkids on this site? Perhaps even older parents that might have similar problems to a gparent in raising a young child.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for so much for your responses!! BTW, some of you aksed how old I am....55. I to have made friends with other much younger mother's, and she has playdates and friends over as well. As I said to some of you, sometimes since I am single it just gets overwhelming. Even though, invited out I don't like being the older, fifth wheel in the group, and on the flip side of that, there are a few people that will call and ask if their child can come over, I assume they think, bc I am single I have nothing better to do than "sit" for their kids. Don't get me wrong, my gdaughter enjoys company and it is fun for her but not always for me, however, I think that is the case no matter what age you are. Anyway, I sometimes just need to have my little private "pity party" and then I get over it. I can't imagine how empty my life would be without my "child", she is a joy and a delight. I am overwhelmed by the out pouring of concern and advice and will be contacting those of you that sent me you email addresses. I also really appreciate hearing from people that were raised by their gparents, it meant a lot to me to hear that it was a good experience.
Thanks again to everyone,
G.

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C.G.

answers from Pocatello on

I am a grandparent raising a grandson. He is now 15 and we have had him since he was 2 months. I am 57 and my husband is 54. We are both on disability and it has been getting really tough.her is my email if you would like to talk ____@____.com

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S.F.

answers from Denver on

I am a grandmother raising my Granddaughter with my daughter, she is single mom and can't afford a day care center. With that said it is hard raising a 3 1/2 year old when my children are off and gone from home. I get up every morning at 5:30 to pick up the baby and her mom picks her up at 4:30 to 5;00 pm 5 days a week and on Sat we get up at 5 so mom can be at work at 6:00.
I understand your feeling. I often wonder what I've gotten into. I am 56, I will be 57 in October, I am on SSI for about 12 years now. Maybe depending on where you live you can get a playdate going with other moms? I try to take my granddaughter to McDonalds once every two weeks to play with the other kids and have just a time away from the house.
She sometimes doesn't want to leave but it is getting easier each time and it gets me out of the house.

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P.D.

answers from Denver on

Hi My name is P. Dybinski and I adopted a little boy last year who is 3. I will be 56 his month. So I am pretty sure I am the age of most grandparents, older than some. I live near the Aurora Mall area. I now have friends who are half my age, tho I had some of them before. Most people my age have grandkids my sons age. My email is ____@____.com and home phone is ###-###-####. P.

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K.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I know a lady who has been raising her grand daughter since she was just little as well(I'm not sure how old) but she is 7 or 8 now. She is raising her due to the fact that she was abused when she was a littler girl.

I will be happy to talk with her and see what she does. Since she is 8 and probably in school all day, perhaps you can take up a hobby or maybe have a part time job (if possible) while she is in school. Just a few hours from between the time you drop her off and the time you need to pick her up.
I know that alot of senior centers often have activites during the day as well that you may be interested in.

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A.

answers from Salt Lake City on

That has to be a very rough job. I can't even imagine taking on young children after raising your own. I know if my granddaughter needed it I would do it too but am grateful that it is not necessary.

The only suggestions I would have would be checking out story hours and churches to see if you can build a support group of other older parents/grandparents. There are a number of you out there but you are extremely busy.

Bless you for doing what needs to be done and good luck to you.

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C.D.

answers from Denver on

Hi G.,

I am longing to take care of my grandkids. They were here for a month. My daughter is having a very tough time due to her student husband decided he would rather be single. She moved out of their rental with her kids because the unemployed brother in law had also moved in. They are homeless and sleeping in her store. (She owns a a childrens resale business in Wa. state, but it only brings in enough money for the lease and a few bills.) Her friend who is on welfare took care of the store while she was gone...they are best frends, so my daughter wants to help her out. (This is not good, because this lady and her fiancee are leeches, and owe my daughter $300.00 from 4 months ago.

I am trying to convince her to sell the store so she can have some money to get by She says that her friend wants the store, but has no money. (There is no support coming from the husband, although he makes $800.00 a month writing for the school newspaper,) he was convicted of felony evading an officer while speeding 2 summers ago, lost his truck driving job, and can not get any good job due to his felony.) I also feel she needs to get as far away from this man as she can, because when I was taking care of my grandsons, the oldest used very bad language, that could have only come from their dad. (He is an atheist, and his main activity at home is video games with violent content. He is also seeing another woman, which in the long run will be very damaging to the kids.

My daughter is reluctant to come back to live with us, because my husband spoils the kids with candy, and she had asked him not to give them the candy, unless he was willing to help them brush their teeth, (which he did not do.) a clash of authority she called it. She could start a new life here in a nursing program that provides free tuition. She does have her CNA license.

How does one get custody of their grandkids? I am interested and want the best for them. As I write this, they do not have a place to live except at night with their dad.
If you would like to talk to someone who is also a grandma, please feel free to e-mail me. Maybe we could become freinds. If you have any advice that I could pass along to my 24 year old daughter, please do.
Blessings,
C.

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A.W.

answers from Pocatello on

G.,

I am not a grandparent, but I know here in Idaho there are groups called grandparents raising grandchildren. They meet I think once or twice a month. I really don't know, because I was not a part of it, but they used to meet at a hotel I worked at for 4 years.

I also wanted to say that coming from a person that was raised by her grandparents I am so happy to hear others doing the same! My grandma was my "Mom" for so long I was closer to her than my mom until she passed in Jan 2007. They say that a mother daughter bond it precious, but one between a grandmother and granddaughter is also precious. It is a wonderful and selfless thing you are doing raising your granddaughter!

I just want to say that when I became a teenager I rebelled, because I really thought I wanted my mom, but after several talks with my gran I realized that I was better off. She never talked bad about my mom, just helped me to understand that my mom couldn't handle being a mom to three kids.

My gran used to belong to a club with a bunch of "older" moms and grandparents and we would go with her. We would play while she was able to visit with people her age. That is my only thought on the subject. My gran took us everywhere and always made sure we knew she and gpa loved us no matter what. If she was unhappy or lonely with raising grandkids I never knew. I know that we were in sports and all sorts of activities and when we would be there she would go do something, but unfortunately she never shared, and I can't ask her.

It is a wonderful thing you are doing, and never forget it!!

A.

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J.W.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Where do you live. I have my granson most of the time and he just turned 7. Drop me a line. J.

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B.D.

answers from Boise on

I am kinda in the same boat. My daughter is back with our granddaughter and she is more concerned about her friends and her social life than her daughter. It is heartbreaking. I'm 45 and still have one child at home is 15. Just starting to enjoy the freedom after raising our 6 children. Now I'm spending time with a 4 (will be 5 this month) year old. I don't mind babysitting for work but I will not babysit for partying. Anyway I feel your pain.

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C.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

G.,
I am a grandma, but am not raising my grandkids.
I love your request. I look forward to seeing your responds.
With Joy, C.

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B.G.

answers from Denver on

I'm not a grandparent, but a new mom in her early forties who usually has older friends, not younger. It's a strange new world being thrown in with moms half my age, and having this incredible experience in common, but not much else. I have a one-year old, so I don't expect we'd have much for our kids to share, but just wanted to let you know I hear ya', and understand the feeling of isolation. Best of luck. -Rebecca

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K.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I don't know if there are any other gradparents on this site but I can tell you that I know that there are plenty of grandparents in your shoes.

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A.L.

answers from Pocatello on

Where are you located? Here in Idaho Falls we have a GRG monthly support group meeting at Eastern Idaho Community Action Partnership. If this is too far from you, perhaps there is a similar support group in your city that you can attend. Ours is funded by the Area Agency on Aging and I'm sure that there is a similar AAA near you. Call me at 1-800-632-4813. / A. - Information & Assistance

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C.B.

answers from Denver on

It sounds like you could need a friend and support group. You did not say how old you are. I know other people in simular situations. It is not easy to always find people who understand.
Have you tried a rec center for exercise and many people just go to meet other people. You can always be a room mom and go on field trips.
If I think of anything else I will write again.
C. B

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J.D.

answers from Denver on

Hello ~

I'm a grandmother who has the pleasure of being with my 4yr old grandson often. I do know a grandmother who shares your situation whom I think you'd enjoy meeting. Her name is Dede and she owns Bark Avenue (pet supplies) on Public Road in Lafayette ###-###-####.
If it's appealing to you we could meet at a park where both kids could play while we just talk!

J. (rhymes with family) Dart ###-###-####

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