Grandparents

Tell the truth..you don't know...maybe next time she'll ask them...let's see them squirm their way out of that.

I disagree with everyone, sorry! I do not believe we should involve our children in adult matters even when it does involve them. If your child asks and they still make excuses with her or promise things that never come to pass its worst than her not understanding at all. We as parents have a responsibility to protect our children until they are old enough to have a voice and they can process things in a more mature way when trying to understand why adults act the way they do sometime.

Right now your husband needs to step in and handle this as your family’s supporter. He should be the one saying something to HIS parents not you. If he refuses then you need to let it go. You should explain to your daughter that sometimes adults do things that are hard to understand but it has nothing to do with her or how much she is loved. As long as she is affirmed in love and the reasoning for the grandparents absents are put back on them as their responsibility and not hers she will get through this.

You need to also make sure that you always talk positive about her absent grandparents and honor them to show your daughter how unconditional love is to those who may be unlovable. My parents along with step-parents are 10 min. away and have seen my only child less than 10 times in a year. I would never talk down on them, I will let him make choices when he is old enough but until then I will not make excuses for them nor will I guilt them into spending time with him.

By you having your daughter do things to make them feel guilty or make them feel back into a corner will only teach her how to treat other's in relationships when she does not get her way or she feels hurt and slided. One day it could come back and bite you and your husband in the rear. It's called manipulation and girls are already born with the instinct no need to practice it!

Tracy P-you are absolutely right...I fully recant my advice...(And I take full responsibility and am not blaming it on pms!)
Go Tracy!

Tracy P, I have three words for you! YOU GO GIRL! You said a mouthful. The manipulation thing really struck anerve in me. Our little girls need reassurance at all times that they are special. Positive reinforcement is the only way to go. Keep her surrounded with love. Sometimes God puts people in our lives to show us how NOT to act.

When she becomes a star on Broadway, you will always have the memories of where she started out.

Merry Christmas!!

Let me start out by asking one question first...Is your daughter from a previous marriage or relationship? Sometimes, in blended families, this can be a problem with relatives treating the other child as if they are an outsider (I do't understand how anyone can do that to a child but I have seen it more than once). If not, I am clueless. I guess maybe what I would do would be talk with your husband about not attending the other children's special funtions and then explain to his siblings why. Explain that you want to be there but it is hurtful for your child to see her grandparents that she loves very much attend all thes funtions but ignore hers. I am sure the siblings would understand and not want your daughter to be hurt. And if not, well then let it be "their" personal problem if they cannot put a child's feeling first. AS for your nieces and nephews...just make up reasons why you are not there without going into the grandparent thing. I do'nt like lying to children but I don't feel that would be really lying. Children don't understand adult issues and it would be easier to say one of you is not well or you had previous plans. Good luck and prayerfully, your in-laws will see the wrong in their actions and correct their behaviour.

Hi W. , I agree with lynda, have your daughter ask them. Sounds like she is old enough.

Hi there,

First of all I have to agree with Tracy too. My daughter's only 21 months and she thinks that my parents are the greatest things in the world beside her dad and me. But up to this point my husband's parents have done nothing to show interest in her. I will never talk bad about them but I'm having a hard time thinking about the day she looks through her memory chest and sees that there is nothing from them. Not even a little card. But if your girl is as loved as mine is (and I know she is) then I think everything will be ok.

Your children should ask their grandparents. That way the know the effect it is having.

For Christmas, have your daughter pick out a sweater and an umbrella for a gift for them...when they unwrap, have your daughter say, so if its too cold or raining, you can still come and visit me. :)
(sorry...that would so tick me off too)
(oh and im probably pms'ing)