Grandparenting - Okemos,MI

It depends...every family is different. You DO have to work on relationships and remember the communication lines go both ways!

I think all grandma's should be exactly like my Grandma:)
She watched my sister and I and a couple of my cousins after school, every day...
We watched wheel of fortune together and drank tea, while laying in her bed. We went to the Library EVERY Wednesday. Tuesday's were dusting days. She ironed her sheets. Having lived thru the great depression, she was very frugal and taught us all the value of a dollar and was an uber recycler, even way back then, before it was PC. She set up savings accounts for all her grandchildren and put in how ever old you were on every holiday. If you are 6, you get $6 on Easter and Christmas and B-days and used her typewriter and kept bank books for all of us that we could look at whenever we wanted....then at 18 and you graduated HS (oh yeah, education was BIG) it was "Fun Money" for you to spend as you'd like. She arranged and hosted every Thanksgiving. She was kinda strict but very lovey and structured in her routine. She took us kids to my Grandpa's grave every year and we watched as she "tidy'd it up" and placed flowers. She and my Grandpa bought 5 houses on the same block and most of my family lived in them. She had a HUGE collection of wooden puzzles and always allowed ice cream for snack after dinner...I was ever so thankful for that on nights when liver and onions was on the menu. She used to hide scratch tickets in the fake Easter eggs and make scavenger hunts for us to find them. And even though she insisted that my sister and I still nap, even at 8 and 10....we loved her very much! ~ My mom told me that when my Grandpa first asked for her hand in marriage, she told him "no"...come back and ask again once you have bought yourself a house and have an ample savings account:) It was a different time, back in her day! She was a nurse. She died of pancreatic cancer when I was 14 and I was devastated. Our family has never been the same. I never had a great grandma, so I can't speak to that....I am 33 years old and miss my Grandma very much.
Her name was Helen K....but everyone called her K. ;)

I'm not sure what you're asking, K.. I am a grandmother of 17. I am very involved with my family but also have a lot going on in my church and community. The privilege of grandparenting is precious to me. My grandmother was wonderful. My own mom chose not to be much of a grandmother but later regretted it. It sounds like there's some conflict going on. I hope you all can resolve it.

I think every family operates differently and you find what works for your family. I just became a grandma a week ago today. In my situation they are babies having babies. Both of the kids are only 18 and they are living with us. My son's girlfriend was kicked out of her mothers home because she decided to keep the baby and we took her in so she gets no guidance from her mother. I try very hard not to meddle in their relationship and not to be overbearing on advice when it comes to the baby. I have an 11 month old baby myself so it is very hectic around here but at the same time she has watched me care for my baby and gotten some guidance that way. She is going to be a wonderful mother and I trust her in raising my granddaughter. I plan to spend as much time with my granddaughter as I can and love her with all of my heart like a grandma should!

I guess it depends. My biological mom whom I have a good relationship with but live far away from...never calls, writes, or see my child unless I go to her. She's just never been a very hands on parent...so now she's not a very hands on grandparent.

My stepmom, who raised me with my Dad on the other hand is very involved even though she also lives far away. She calls, sends little packages, and visits often.

My MIL lives fairly close and she does the same...visits, calls, etc.

Now if you're asking should they act like they're in charge of everyone...no. My MIL tries to tell me all the time what to do with my daughter and her advice is often outdated and frankly unwanted.

So I guess it just depends on the person really and what exactly your question meant. :)

Well turns out I am the grandmother lol. My youngest child is 14 but my oldest is 28. We have 3 grandchildren. I think I am a pretty hands on grandpaarent. They spend every monday night with us as my daughter plays on a pool league. her husband is on an army base so not living here. The kids come to my house each monday afternoon and spend the night I take them to school the next morning. We keep them other nights that are just for fun. sometimes on the weekends. I do "chickie" day with my granddaughter about once a month. we do things like nails, and hair and grocery shop etc. My husband does "man" stuff with the boys. work on yard, go to home depot etc. we play games and watch movies. They are definitely a big part of my life. Now having said that let me say that I am probably this involved because My own mom was not involved in my kids lives. She would come to things only when I guilted her into them and even then she did/does it grudgingly. Its not because she doesn't like kids because she does. She does daycare still. She just doesn't want to mess with kids on the weekends or evenings. Its been a sore spot with me for 28 years lol.

grandmothers are not parents. a lot of moms confuse the role of the grandmothers, they think they should continue mothering their grandchildren. grandmothers are supposed to be safe haven for kids, not necessarily disciplining them, raising them, feeding them, taking care of them.
to me, i always looked at grandparents are the ones who get to spoil the child. i wouldn't want my mom or mil to raise my kids, just be involved enough in their lives so grandkids learn they can always go to grandma and feel safe.

I think grandmothers and great grandmothers should be the person that they are. Everyone is different. There is no right or wrong way to be a grandmother/great grandmother. I'm a hands on sort of person and I'm that way as a grandmother too. So.....I had to learn how to back off or stay on the sidelines until I'm ask to participate. I love being a grandmother and fortunately my daughter wants me to have frequent and regular contact with her children. I have each one for an overnight by themselves one night/week. I'm available to pick them up from daycare or take care of them in my home when they're sick. I do have to be careful, now that my daughter has remarried, to not give unsolicited advice or even to make a suggestion until I know how important the subject is to my daughter or son-in-law. When they've made up their minds, already, they frequently take offense to any new ideas.

So, I guess, to be a grandparent means to be the best that you are and adapt it to the needs of your child/children. Mom/Dad are still the most important to their child, especially in the minds of the parent's. However, I strongly believe that grandparents are extremely important. Family is extremely important. We remain sensitive to everyone's needs, including our own, provide love and nurture to our children and our grandchildren in the way that best suits our own personality.

Grandparents are individuals who happen to have grandchildren. Our role is to be supportive of the parents, be loving and good role models for our grandchildren, while continuing to take care of ourselves.

I never had the opportunity to be close with my grandparents, so I had nothing to base my expectations on. As a mom, I expect my kid's grandparents to spoil them a bit, but not be so lax that they allow my kids to run all over them in their own home, so I do expect a fair amount of respect from my kids towards their grandparents & I have communicated this to my parents & inlaws so they can be comfortable in seeing that does take place. I also expect them to keep my kids safe while in their care regardless of my child's behavior. Meaning i do expect them to let my kids ride bikes, but only with appropriate safety measures even if my kid throws a tantrum about wearing a helmet. So far so good. Hope this helps.

well, my mom only cares that she has a grandchild when my dad wants to see her. I'm pretty sure my dad thinks they've gotten her birthday presents and stuff too. But my husband's mom and all the great grandmas are awesome and involved. she also calls my aunt "aunt grandma" since she cares/is more involved than my mom. It really depends on the people involved.