I am wanting to get custody of my grandchild and i dont know how to go about doing this without hurting my daugther, and her never talking to me again, but i need to do this for the child.
i got custody of the child o by way she is 5yrs old, my daughter just give her to me, the story is the child is disable and the mother could not take care of her she need to much help, and i took care of her allways intell i moved away, me and my daughter are best frinds and talk every night, so thanks forevery thing, we are all happy now.
Look up grandparent rights. Honestly there is no way that you can do that without upsetting her. She will know about the whole prosses but you can make it where she has visitations with the child. Sorry that I can't give you more info. but the law says that you must get it from an attorney.
As the childs mother I am sure that the child is very important to her as well. You never did say what exactly was going on so it would be really hard for me as a mother of two to give advice based on such a statement.
I am in the process of possibly getting guardianship of my neice (long story). This is a very difficult process and emotionally draining on all involved. If your daughter is agreeable to the situation she will have extreme guilt. If she is not she may be resentful.
Guardianship requires a lawyer. Papers will be sent to all family members in close proximity to the children and their father. If all agree that them living with you is the best decision than it will happen.
I am a school teacher and many of my kids are raised by their grandparents. When you become their parent you can no longer be the grandparent and that will be a difficult adjustment. You will not just be the person to spoil them but will have to make sure they have their homework done.
I wish you the best of luck!
It is a very very long process for a parent to be released of custody. If social services were called about a situation, and they investigated and saw a reason to take the children away, the children would go to foster care. The parent would have about a year to do whatever the court wanted them to do to prove they can care for their child in the right way. If the parent still proves that they cannot keep the child safe and it's in the best interest of the child, then the court system explores family members to place the child with. It can take 2-3 years of the child being in foster care.
Taking a child away from their mother is a very personal thing to the mother. No matter what you do, you will probably hurt your daughters feelings.
J.,
I was raised by my grandparents, who took custody of me and my 3 siblings when I was 5.
My grandparents are no longer alive to ask questions of, but I'm pretty sure my maternal grandmother hired a family attorney and then she somehow proved to a family court that our parents were unfit (they definitely were unfit) and obtained legal guardianship of all of us.
It was very, very difficult for everyone involved at the time. My grandmother and my mother were never terribly close to begin with, so you can be SURE they weren't after that!! There's virtually no way you can take over custody of someone's child(ren) and have a good relationship afterwards.
If you feel your grandchild is in danger or being neglected badly you should pursue this. Warning though: if you get custody please don't ever drag the child in the middle of your arguments or talk badly about the child's parents in front of them. That was definitely a huge mistake my grandparents always made. As if I didn't already feel unloved enough by my parents, when she said bad things about them it made me feel even more unloved.
All of that is behind me now (has been for many, many years) but it still leaves a lasting mark.
Just my two cents, since you asked! Good luck!
J.
J.,
You may not be ready to hear this but.......
No matter what you do, you are going to hurt your daughter. Now matter how you say it, how you do it, it will be a fight to the end. What has your daugter done so terrible that you want custody of her child(ren)?
Just to let you know, I work for an attorney and I study law, it is very very difficult for a grandparent to get custody of a grandchild. Grandparents usually have no rights, unless your daughter is willing to give her child up to you.
I am not tying to upset you, or discourage you, but are you sure this is something you want to do? What did she do so bad?
If you feel it is the right thing to do, then do it. Some things have to be done, even if someone's feelings end up hurt, and the children are the most important thing. Aren't they being hurt by their mother's behavior? And some people need to hit bottom before they will change.
Like you said, you are doing this for your grandchild. The main reason that your daughter would be hurt or angry is because she doesn't realize the damage/potential damage that would come to her child by staying in her custody. That is the most dangerous situation for a child to be in; when a parent won't accept or admit their faults. Don't let her reaction stop you from doing what is in the best interest of your grandchild. I would recommend talking to an attorney and finding out exactly what you need to know about the process. Make sure that you have the best odds at gaining custody before anything is brought up about it around your daughter. I know it will be a scary situation, but being there for your grandchild when he or she needs you to be is the best thing you can do for everyone involved. Good luck to you!
You do not give enough detail to really allow a person to feel right about helping you...what you want to do can be out of spite. You may be a control freak or just a flat out b----. I don't know....
Have you tried to help your daughter? You know you can't do this without her hating you for it...it is her child!!!!
Sometimes people do need to step in for the sake of the children but maybe you should try to do this without getting the dhs involved...there are other options....think about it.
I hope your motives are sincere, and you have exhausted every resource before you continue down this road....for the sake of your own family...
This is not going to be easy, You will have to prove your daughter as an unfit mother. Now if you have her consent all you need to do is contact an attorney
HI J., I wish you the best of luck. Most states try to keep the child with the parent(s).If the child is in danger, I would suggest, child welfare. But be careful; its a very sticky situation. How old is your g-daughter? If she is 12 or older, I think she could ask the judge to place her with you. But there must be probable cause. The judical system is very strange.
