Graduation Party and Gifts

I would not have considered a gift for an MBA.
If anything, take a bottle of wine or champagne.
No need to be annoyed. Gift cards don't expire.
Keep it for someone else or sell it in craigslist.

I'd hang on to the gift card...I find they come in handy for when I need a last minute gift idea.

No gifts means they prefer their guests not bring gifts. You may be the only who takes something and then you might be a little embarrassed.

pretty minor annoyance, right? they probably just didn't think. so excited to want to share his success with friends that it didn't occur to them that it would incite people to buy presents, so they hastily clarified that they just want to enjoy you.
honor their request. return the gift card, or keep it to give to someone else.
khairete
S.

Honor the no gifts request (yes it should have been in the invitation) and use the gift card for your next gift giving event.

Well a gift card fits nicely into an envelope so you can still discreetly give it to him, if you want.
Or save it and give it to someone else.
Or spend it on some books for yourself.
Not the end of the world!
And maybe she sent out the "no gifts" notice at the last minute because she didn't think people would buy gifts for an adult receiving a grad degree (I certainly wouldn't have thought to buy anything) and she was getting messages saying "what does he want?"
Who knows, we could speculate about it all day but I'm sure we have more pressing things to worry about :-)

I would not give the card. Use it for yourself or give it as a gift to someone else. Worse case, use it to purchase a gift for someone else in the future. She may not have thought people would give a gift, but after mentioning this party to people, they started asking about giving gifts. That is when she realized she needed to tell people no gifts.

First of all, I don't think hosts/hostesses get to tell you whether you can bring a gift or not. That goes for graduations, birthdays, etc. A gift is a gesture that YOU make, not the ticket to admission to a party. There is no etiquette involved because it's rude for gifts to be discussed from the get-go, whether it's telling people what to give (I've seen weddings like this - what they want and, worse, what they don't want), or whether they aren't to bring anything. So etiquette is already out the window here.

I'm guessing your friend left it blank and then everyone got on her case about it, so she sent out something to let people off the hook.

You do what you want. Gift certificates don't expire so it can be used for anyone, or you can just give it to him in a congratulatory card. Your choice.

The problem i see with the "no gift" directive on an invitation is that some people will ignore it, so then some people show up with gifts and the ones who followed "instructions" feel like dirt.

Your friends should be happy if you come to the party, and they should be gracious whether you give a gift or not. They don't get to tell you how to behave on this.

Well mentioning "no gifts" in an invitation is practical, but it's an etiquette faux pas to do so, because any mention of gifts in an invite is presumptuous and rude. So say the traditional rules of etiquette, which is perhaps why she didn't mention it.

In any case...if you can make use of the gift card for yourself (summer reading books for your kids, perhaps, or a treat for yourself?) or can use it for a gift for someone else, then do so. If it's just going to sit in a drawer, tuck it into a congratulatory card. I've been the guest of honor at events where I didn't expect gifts and truly just wanted to share a special moment with friends and sometimes someone has surprised me with a gift card or other token gift and I've certainly never been offended. Do what you think is best!

You bought it so stick it in a card and give it to him. It's a nice gesture.

I think even when people say no gifts, guests tend to bring them anyway.

I would not argue with someone who stated "don't bring gifts." If you really feel like you want to bring something, bring a bottle of wine to share at the party (if appropriate) or something like that.

Good luck!

Is this a close friend of yours? If so then I'd keep the gift card and give it to him. If not, then consider keeping it and using the gift card for your own family or for birthday presents that your kids need to take or something.

Or just give it to him anyway. I think you can't really go wrong. If it were me, I'd probably just give it to him regardless because well, it's nice. And people don't do enough nice things for people and everyone likes to feel appreciated and recognized. That's my two cents! :)

I got my MBA when I was 29 and my parents gave me a gift, but that was it. My family and I celebrated, but no one else gave gifts. It would have been awkward. I think we give gifts for HS and BA/BS degrees when they are in their late teens/early 20's, but that's it.

I would use the gift card for someone else or something for yourself/your family.

I think you will see others bringing gifts like a bottle of wine. I would put it in the card and I'm sure they would think it was very sweet of you.

Personally, I would not present the gift. You can gift it to someone else or use it for yourself or kids.

I am not sure I understand why you are annoyed, there are plenty of other reasons to be annoyed in the world.

Your item is a small token. I do not think it would be offensive to bring. I would think most would bring a bottle of wine or bouquet of flowers to a regular dinner party of a similar price point, so this item could be in-lue of that.

You could also save it for another person.

Not sure why you are so annoyed unless you were hoping to avoid getting a grown man a gift and got the green light after the fact.

His wife is working hard making a special day for her husband and left off a little detail. Just think of all the details to hosting a party. This is small potatoes.

I think you can do either. If your first initial reaction was to buy him a gift, then that's a nice gesture. I think doing it discretely in a card is better than an actual gift, where it's not obvious you've given him something.

Around here people often say "Best wishes only" and I like that when you're not sure what's expected - because it takes the pressure off to have to figure out if a gift is required.

But I generally base it on how close I am to a person, and whether it's appropriate. I don't know about a graduation party for an adult. I've never been to one honestly. We did more just celebrate and have drinks, etc. And then I'd bring a bottle of wine or something, but it would be more at someone's home and casual.

The one thing I like to consider is how it will make the recipient feel. So long as they are not uncomfortable with it. You know your friend and husband best - do you think she added that "no gift" clause because he would be uncomfortable or embarrassed getting gifts? If so, don't.

Good luck :)

I like the idea to put the gift card in an envelope with a greeting card. That way it won't be obvious to other guests. I suggest other guests may have also bought gifts before the email and bring them too.

I like giving gifts, especially to friends. I wouldn't worry about the no gifts late in coming message. Just graciously give it because you want to do so. A gift for special events is always OK if the giving is tactfully done.

I had never heard of giving graduation gifts before coming to mamapedia, so if I had invited people to a party it would not occur to me to specify "no gifts" in the invite. Keep the gift card and use it yourself, or save it for the next gift giving occasion.

I would not have even comsidered buying a gift for an MBA. He's not a kid graduating high school.
If someone says, "No gifts," then I don't bring a gift.
I tell people "No gifts" because I don't need more "stuff" in my house.
I really don't want a gift when I ask you not to bring one.
That said, you've bought it. Lucky you, you bought a gift card to a bookstore, so go spend it on yourself.

I would return it and bring a bottle of wine, if it is at a house.