Got Boys Wanted at Least 1 Girl

You have a few options...try again (but know there is no guarantees), adopt a girl, or go to counseling (which could be done with the first two as well). Either way, you need to be thankful for the healthy children you have...they deserve it and so do you.

When my daughter got to be almost 6, I started to be glad my second was a boy. I love her to death, but she has a lot of drama that my son doesn't have. Everyone I know has seconded that boys are easier than girls and I have to agree. If we have a third, I don't know which I would wish for. Sometimes I wish she had a sister, but really I think, you get what you need, not necessarily what you want.

Perhaps, when you have more time, you can volunteer to mentor a girl through something like Boys & Girls Club or through Girl Scouts, or something?

Wow, all I can think of is how ungrateful you sound. And, you had complications with your pregnancies so why wouldn't you just be thankful that you have two healthy kids??? But at the same time, maybe you have some sort of depression as well. I would go talk to a doctor. And please stop thinking of your kids as a mistake. Would you like your mother to call you that? As a mother, you need to put aside your wants and concentrate on your children's NEEDS. They NEED to be LOVED and not called mistakes.

To not go out incase you see mom's with daughters is a little overboard , and coming home crying about it? Are you sure you are not suffering with some depression and need to see a Dr? I can understand being a little disappointed about not having a girl , but to still feel like that 15 months later is not right , and you actually referred to those 2 boys as "mistakes". Please choose your words carefully , you chose to get pregnant knowing full well there was a 50/50 chance you would have a boy , so no they are not mistakes , if you really did not want son's then maybe you should not have had kids at all.

While I'm in no way saying you don't love your boys, you might switch your focus to what you DO have...instead of mourning what you don't. There are so many woman that can't have children. So many that see mothers with children and go home and cry, because of their empty homes and bellies. You were blessed with two children. When you go out, focus on the fact that you get to go out and be with your amazing boys. Think of all the little moments you've had with them and all the moments you will have. I hate to say this, but your mentality of what you don't have, could inevitably trickle down to the children you do have. Children are smart, inquisitive, and feeling. They know when their mother is hurting, and they might eventually figure out why. Can you imagine, what conclusion they could come to? What if, they feel they aren't good enough, what you wanted. What if they feel you would love the more, if they weren't boys. It could be damaging. I'm not saying...yes...they will know what your feeling and be sad. What I am saying, is they could. Wouldn't you want to protect them from that? Try to accept your beautiful life, without a girl.

PS. You call your children mistakes, but you CHOSE to conceive them. You got pregnant knowing you could get a boy, now you need to choose to love them and not treat them like that. Not only is calling them a mistake offensive, it actually scares me for your sons. I would suggest you go to therapy, because your mindset is unhealthy for you and your children. You could think of their feelings, instead of just your own. Maybe that's really harsh for me to say, but it's true. Sorry.

Wow - I can't believe you said that last comment. There are women out there where conceiving isn't even an option. They will never be able to have children. You can't even appreciate your boys. It took me three years to have my children. I was told I would never have kids. So I know what the other side is like. If you're bold enough to say what you just wrote then I'll be bold enough to say that you really don't deserve your children. I feel sorry for them that you are their mother.

There is no such thing as gender disappointment. It is something you've allowed yourself to wallow in. Count your blessing that modern medicine was able to save your two boys and get yourself some health for your mental issues before you say something damaging to your boys. I can't believe you would actually call your children mistakes on a forum like this. You're either really mentally ill or trying to get people pissed off.

PS: Just because there is an internet forum for something doesn't mean it is real. It is something that a lot of people have created in their heads because they want to have control over something that was never in their power to begin with.

I thought I was having a boy...absolutley convinced of it. When the ultrasound showed a girl, I didn't think it was a mistake...I was just in disbelief. I would never dream of calling her a mistake.

First of all, I'm not going to condemn you for feeling disappointed. None of us can tell you how to feel, but we can put things into perspective in a different light to change your point of view.

My husband and I chose not to learn the gender of either child. It really didn't matter. We didn't have a say, and we wanted to focus on a healthy pregnancy and not to get caught-up on stuff we couldn't control.

We have been blessed with one of each.

After my daughter's birth (2nd child), I was diagnosed with cancer. It was the day before my son's second birth. She was 10.5 weeks old.
I had 3 simple prayers (I'm not a very religious/spiritual person) while going through treatment:
1. to live long enough for my children to have their own memories of me
2. to teach them everything they need to be independent members of society
3. to fulfill whatever my purpose in this life is

Yes, having a little girl is fun, but mine is a diva. She's whiny, wants to wear dresses all the time, is demanding, and I love her every ounce as much as her older brother.....just in different ways because their personalities are SO different. He's the tender, caring, cuddly one.

I hope my children never have to experience cancer. I'm fortunate I've had these past 2 years clean without cancer recurring - I learned today of the passing of a young father-to-be, many years after going through treatment for leukemia because of side effects from chemo/radiation that caused a massive heart attack in his 30's.
His wife is 6 months pregnant - that child will never know its father. Gender becomes irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

Love those boys as much as you can each day. Focus on what makes them unique, and you never know what the future will bring......even if it's many, many years down the road in the form of a granddaughter you get to spoil tremendously.

I may not be the right person to answer this because I wanted two girls and I have them but I agree with Andrea. I think you might need to speak with your doctor or a counselor about this. 15 months is a long time to feel this way and it could be negatively impacting your children. It is one thing to be disappointed or fleetingly sad about it (you will always wistfully wish for a daughter) but it is another thing to never accept what life has handed you and move on. Good luck!

I wanted at least one boy but have two wondeful little girls and I am very happy they are healthy. I understand the want, but what gets me the most is you said why would you want someone elses mistake when you have 2 of your own. When you get pregnant you have a 50/50 chance of getting either gender and you should be greatful that you have healthy children regardless of how the pregnancy went. You should look into some help bc this can damage you and your sons relationship if they think they were mistakes.

My daughter hated dolls and dressing up. lol I managed to get away with it until she was 2, but after that, she won. So, I played Barbies with my niece! I had wanted a girl and she was my first. I can honestly say that the moment my son was born, I thought to myself, he's just beautiful, why did I care? I truly had as much fun, albeit it was much more of a hunt which I came to enjoy, to find "dapper little man" clothes. We now have our third baby, and my other two are 16 and 12. My son is the one that carts the baby around without my asking! He's my affectionate one. Enjoy them for who they are, each is a gift from above :)

It sounds like you should seek counseling, if not for your sake, then for the sake of your children. More important than your feelings of disappointment is how you are going to treat those precious boys you have. It's not their fault they are boys, and children are not mistakes. They are precious gifts from God. They deserve to be loved regardless of their gender. Please seek counseling to help you with this issue.

I know you said you tried so hard to have a girl, but it might help if you think of this -- You can't choose the gender of your children. Only God can do that. Did you want to have children or did you want to have girls? If you did want to have girls as opposed to children, you should ask yourself why you wanted a girl so much. Surely it wasn't so you could dress them in pink and give them pigtails and princess dresses. If it was, don't forget, not all girls like pink, princesses and pigtails. My 4 year old girl's favorite color is blue and it's like pulling teeth to get her to wear pigtails or bows.

Boys can be great. Please love them. And please don't ever call children mistakes, especially not children who have no parents. Their lives are hard enough without having to be called mistakes. And, yes, I do take offense at you saying that. My daughter was not a mistake, not before or after we adopted her.

I have two boys, about the same age difference, but older. Oldest is 16. I never got my girl. But, now that my oldest is a teenager, I am happy that I don't have alot of the teenage drama that goes with girls. I would talk to your doctor to make sure you are not post pardum or have anything else. If you can't shake these feelings, a good counselor with a good heart and ear will help you work through it.

I am so sorry you have having such a hard time with this. To look at this factually, this level of disappointment and crying reaction does seem to be quite significant that I would wonder if you are having symptoms of depression, likely postpartum. It is not your fault for having these feelings, just see how you can get help for it, try asking your OBGYN or primary doctor for a referral or recommendation, they screen for this in the beginning, but PD can occur much later than people realize. You don't want to miss any more precious days of your beautiful healthy baby boys lives feeling this sad, and it will get better, but likely not with out help. Again, I am sorry you are experiencing this, I hope things get better soon.

Just think-- one day your sons will get married and then you'll have instant daughters whose diapers you never had to change :) ... hoping my attempt at humor helped!

Well, do you have a niece or a neighbor's daughter you could "borrow" and take her out to do whatever you dreamed of doing with your own daughter? I'm sure both the parents and the little girl would love that!

If you are coming home and crying, you may need to see your doctor. You may have postpartum depression and need something. Yes, you can have extended PD. As for the want of a little girl, you should look at what you have in your children. As long as they are healthy and happy, you should be too. Hug them tight and feel their warmth against you... Would you ever trade that for another child?

I had the want to have another child for a long time. I have one blessed gift from God. I can't have any more and that's ok. I LOVE my family as is... You have to either come to terms with it, or try again. Still, there are no guarantees you will have a girl and that's fine... Honestly, girls are not easy on their mommas. Even if you have a little girl, she will more likely be more attached to your husband than to you. This is normal and healthy, but sometimes it is hard when you are the person who brought that little one into this world. Little boys are more attached to mommas... maybe that is what God determined you needed. Pray on what you need, not what you want and see how you feel.

My heart and prayers are with you! Life really is good you just have to see it! :)

That was an awful thing to say by the last poster. There is definitely such a thing as gender disappointment - I'm actually going through it now (just found out that baby #4 is a boy and was hoping for a girl). I highly recommend going to www.in-gender.com . The have a gender disappointment forum there that you'll be able to talk through some of your emotions with people that understand what you're feeling and are either there now or have been in the past. They even have an extreme gender disappointment forum, but luckily, it doesn't sound like you have EGD.

I know how you feel wanting a little girl, but ending up with two boys. My boys are 11 months apart. I remember I cried at the doctors office when I found out my second son was a boy. I didn't want to believe what the tech was telling me from the ultrasound. I had a second level two ultrasound done a few weeks later and I have to admit I was crossing my fingers that the sex of the baby changed between ultrasounds. The sex of the baby didn't change of course. My husband didn't seem to understand why it bothered me so much that we were having another boy and not a girl. I guess I would not look at having two boys as a gender disappointment, but as a blessing of two health happy children. I don't know if you ever watched the TV show "Home Improvement" with Tim Allen, but I remember an episode that just kind of stuck with me. Husband and wife had three boys and the two older boys always picked on the younger one. One episode the two older boys convince the youngest boy that he was suppose to be a girl and the mom didn't love him as much since he was a boy. When the mom found out what the older boys had told the youngest son, she had to find a way to explain to the youngest son why she didn't care that he was a boy. She told him that she did want a little girl but the day she set eyes on him she didn't want anything else. Also she told him, when he wanted a dog and they got him a turtle instead, that he loved the turtle just as much as a dog. She told him, I didn't get a girl I got you and I loved you more then anything. So I think about how much I wanted a girl and got two boys instead and I would not trade them for all the tea in Chna.

Are you completely finished having kids? If not, then don't worry, you might still get your girl. It's funny because I'm the opposite of you. I'm pregnant now with my second girl, I have two boys already but wanted more than anything to have one more boy!! I feel like I haven't even been able to get "excited"about the pregnancy yet because of how much I wanted another boy. I keep asking my husband, what is wrong with me that I don't want a girl? I was assuming he would want another boy as well but he says he's happy with another girl especially since we'll have an even number or boys and girls now but I still haven't seen it that way.

However, I do know when she's here that I'll love her to death and I'll only want girls again, haha but it may come from me being raised by a somewhat crazy single mom and having 3 sisters that I was close with but we argued almost daily......and still do ( I hate all the drama of my sisters and I worry I'll have the same issues with my girls). I wanted a brother more than anything growing up, so that's why I "think" I feel this way now. Do you have a similar experience? Maybe raised around all brothers and no sisters?? Maybe something in your childhood has scared you about raising boys. I think little boys are so precious and are God sent but so is every child and I think you should look into some counseling, especially since your youngest is 15 mnths old now and you're still feeling this way.

If you are completely finished with having babies, then I hope you will soon feel blessed you have your two boys. They will grow up to be your mamas boys and maybe one day, if you want a girl still so badly, you could look into adoption.

P.S. My dad always joked about having 4 girls. He says he gave up trying for his boy after the 4th girl was born. He always said it in a playful way but deep down inside, I know he really wanted his boy so you're not alone, everyone want's what they don't have but don't let it take over your life. Look into getting some help if it's affecting your every day life.

Best wishes and don't worry, be happy!

I wanted a boy, when i found out i was pregnant i already had "my son's" name picked out, so everytime i went to the store i would look at baby boys clothes and wanted to buy it i thought for sure i was going to have a boy!!! Well when i went for the gender ultrasound they told me it was a girl!!! I was in shock, but at the same time i was happy, i just cared about her health!!! Shes the most important person in my life and i wouldnt change nothing about her at all!!!!!!

No child is a mistake, they are a gift from god, and if we love the child we carry for 9 mos without knowing them, why cant we learn to love a child that is not biologically ours?

Im just saying if you want your girl, i say save up some money and go for the adoption!!!!
Good luck with your pregnancy!!

this is very worrisome. this is depression talking. i've got 5 brothers and 2 sons and TOTALLY get the longing for a girl. but crying over it and referring to your boys as 'mistakes' is very very troubling. please get counseling. get it today.
khairete
S.

Sometimes in life, we're about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
I don't know why you're feeling what you're feeling, but feeling this way is keeping you in pain. I think some therapy might help you find some relief.
I see some little girls who appear to be angels, but I also see some who are mouthy little brats who give their parents nothing but arguments and attitude. If yours kids were girls, there would be no guarantees you would get girls with temperaments you were dreaming of. Some love dressing up, while others love playing with trucks and climbing trees. Life is what happens while we're making other plans. And who knows? When your boys grow up, get married and have families of their own, you might have some darling grand daughters to spoil rotten in your future.

Your question and your 'so what happened' could have been written by me. I have two boys, had two emergency c-sections one with severe pre-eclamsia with the HELLP syndrome and I really wanted a baby girl.

But after that second scary near death experience, my husband and I thought we better move on and be happy with our two beautiful boys. I delved into being a great mother to them. When my youngest turned five, we bought a second house and I went back to work parttime. The feelings of wanting a girl faded but I still spoke to my friends about it occasionally.

Then, four months into moving into the new house, I found out that I was 16 1/2 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. I was forty! I did my research and consulted with my OBGYN. I took a baby aspirin every day of the remainder of my pregnancy which is suppose to help with pre-eclamsia. It must have because even though I was placed on bedrest, I gave birth, though a planned c-section at week 38 to a healthy baby.

I guess I am writing this to you to let you know that your dream doesn't have to be over. Of course, if you had a third, there is no guaratee that it would be a girl. But, I just don't think that age or the possibliity of pre elcamsia should stop you.

By the way, it is interesting that you consider children who are adopted to be someone else mistake. I have never felt that way about myself. You see, I am adopted. And all I have ever felt like is someone's dream child. My wonderful birth mother was unselfless, knew that her situation was not ideal for a child and gave me to people who were a lot like you, they wanted a baby VERY badly. They have loved me unconditionally and often forget that I am not biologically theirs.

Please embrace the two little boys you have and enjoy them to the fullest. They deserve your complete attention and love. What happens next is really up to you but I find that a good and healthy attitude on the outside often helps what I feel like on the inside.

K. - look to appreciate the differences. I thought given our family histories we would have all girls but we have one of each. Boys are definitely different from girls. While he has way more energy than she had- he is more laid back, confident, not worried about little things, etc. Little girls have drama starting in elementary on through. There are many worries with girls you don't have with boys. Plus one day you will have 2 girls - your future daughter-in-laws.

Stop idealizing what you wanted and appreciate what your have received- two great boys. If you don't get over it , your sons will feel it somehow and while they may never know why, they may feel they always disappointed Mom some how and I am sure you don't want them to feel that. Also - if you did end up with a girl someday, will they feel left out because she would clearly be your favorite?

As Annabel said - there are women out there who would be so grateful to have just one boy muchless two since they cry at night over never being able to get pregnant, carry a baby to term, etc.

Time to get grateful and enjoy your boys! =-)

I had two boys first, and I was disappointed that my second was also a boy since I too had wanted a girl. However, I loved him the moment that he was born. Then I found out that I was pregnant again when my second son was only 9 months old. I was pretty upset about being pregnant again. My doctor mentioned that when you have multiples of the same gender, the greater the chances are that you'll keep having the same gender. So, I was expecting the third to also be a boy. (We didn't find out the sex of any of our kids until they were born.) However, I tried to make the best of it, and to my great surprise, my third was my girl. I wouldn't trade her for the world, but she is miss drama queen, and bosses her older brother around, and is very clingy to me even at 10 years old.

You might look into being a foster parent if adoption isn't an option. And who knows, it might even lead to adoption. A couple we know took in two sisters through fostering, and two years later, they have adopted them. Although the girls have a few issues because of their horrendous background, they are doing beautifully in the home. They now know what it is to be loved and to be in a 'normal' household.

So, think about that as an option. You might be a light to a child who is in desperate need of a good home. However, before you venture down that path, I think it would really be beneficial for you to get some counseling. Your boys are gifts from God, and I think that you need help to realize that before you even attempt to take on the challenge of another kid. Good luck to you.

I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time accepting what God has given you. The answer to your question lies within yourself. The longer you keep thinking about what you don't have or what you think you're missing out on, the longer it will take to get over the gender disappointment. I will tell you that I also have 2 boys, about 3 years apart and they are soooo close. They truly are good friends and play well together. I can't help but smile when I watch them interact sometimes. I'm not sure that they would have been this close if they were different genders. So try to think of all the good things that may come about from having 2 boys. Ask God to give you an attitude of gratitude. Be thankful and maybe He will bless you with a baby girl in the future. I will keep you in prayer!

It sounds like you have post-partum depression. You should talk to your doctor and seek treatment immediately. All children are beautiful gifts and should be seen as such. I think you will realize that about your sons if you get the proper help.

One of the things I realized fairly early on... is that my son gets to be himself... but if I'd had a daughter I would have wanted certain things from her (to dress her in a certain way, to do certain things with her, etc) that may NOT have been who SHE was at all.

So it has been a real blessing to my child that he wasn't the gender I *wanted*, because this way I am just excited to see who and what he'll be... instead of trying to impose my own expectations on him.

I almost think that you are so disappointed because you feel that you tried so hard to get a girl and you were unsuccessful in your endeavor. So this maybe is about feeling like you didn't do a good enough job trying? Please try to forgive yourself because people have been trying for thousands of years to influence the gender of their children and to no avail (many lives have been lost over this struggle)! You WERE successful! You had healthy children through a risky pregnancy. Despite their imperfections, they are perfect!
I feel like some women might want a girl because they want "someone like me, who likes the things I liked as a child," but really, kids are their own people and not necessarily like their parents no matter their gender, and likewise similar to their parents regardless of their gender. Or they might want a girl because they think girls look cute in a sunhat! But trust me, all those mommies of little girls (like me) are meanwhile thinking that your little boys are the most adorable kiddos on the playground!
And if you have a 5-year-old, you may have had discipline issues with him that you don't think you would have had with a little girl. Guess what -- girls have discipline issues too! If this is one of the reasons you wanted a girl, you might want to research some discipline strategies -- might I suggest Parenting Playgroups in Alexandria or Fairfax.

We can be disappointed if we do not get the sex we want. I am sure I would have been a little disappointed if I did not have a girl, and I am sure my husband was a bit disappointed we did not have any boys. However, when we venture into the process of having shildren we have to realize that it is a 50/50 chance for each sex, so we need to be somewhat prepared for either one. If you never wanted a specific sex, then I think it would be to your advantage to adopt that particular sex.

Well you could have a daughter on a temp time period. We host a child for the past two summers from NYC through a program called "The Fresh Air Program" you have a child live with you for 1-2 weeks. You pick either a boy or a girl from age 5 yr to 18 yrs. Its a wonderful experience. You are giving this child a wonderful experience.
My sister had two miscarriages. She would be happy to have two boys.
Also what your going thru it might be hormonal. After I had my sons I was very hormonal for awhile.

I feel sorry for you and your boys; the fact you consider them a mistake is sad because you knew going into pregnancy that you could not determine the sex, so you should have been prepared to have either sex or none at all because it is not fair to the boys that God has made. I don't know why God gave you boys, but they are a blessing and hopefully you can get some help in order to better deal with your 'situation'. Try not to take it out on them in the meantime; I honestly hope you can feel better for your own sake, and for the sake of your boys. Any one can give birth, but not everyone can be a mom! Please take advantage of what you have while you have it so you don't have regrets in the future and your boys won't suffer from it as well. They did not ask to be born, so please don't blame them....love them regardless of your own selfish feelings. Chances are, you would not be a better mom or feel better about having a girl either. Please get counseling before this seriously effects the two human beings you were put in charge of.

First of all, HELLP syndrome has nothing to do with how well you cared for yourself while pregnant. It's a random thing that some women have and no one knows why. My friend had it and almost died twice. Her first child, a daughter, died at a month old from prematurity. Her second, a boy, is alive and well at almost 5. Her 3rd pregnancy, another daughter, ended full term with no signs of HELLP. Again, random and totally not your fault.
As for your depression over not having a girl, I can somewhat sympathize. I had a daughter, born at 24 weeks - she passed away in minutes. I know how hard it is to see other people with sweet little girls and wish they were yours. However, I now have an almost 2 yo son that I absolutely adore with all of my heart. I also have a 14 year old stepson that lives with us FT and I adore him too. I think about having a girl sometimes but then I also think it's pretty cool to be "Queen Bee" and have all my boys around me - husband, sons and dog. People ask if we are going to have another. My husband had a vasectomy after #3 for a variety of reasons but my #1 reason: sometimes you have to learn to be grateful for what you have and not yearn for what is lost. That's called life - for better or for worse. If you keep feeling this way - talk to someone before your sons begin to feel like Mommy is disappointed in them (for something they have 0 control over!).

God can't bless you with peace if you continue to complain and not satisfied. What you should be doing is thanking him for keeping you and your children alive after all that you have gone through. I have 3 boys and still want a girl. I also have been in foster care and know how those kids need someone to love them instead of treeating them like mistakes. Pray more, God WILL lead you down the right path. Also, I remember how you stated how you tried everything possible to manipulate things so that you were able to concieve a girl- try to lean on God and not control everything. The bible compares a controlling person to witchcraft.
I love you and can see your blessings... you just have to see them!

I'm sorry that you are so upset. I have 2 boys & my only little girl lived for 1 hr. & 16 min. without breathing. I have a friend that has 4 boys & has always wanted a little girl. She was jelous that I got a little girl (even though my daughter died, she would have been 6 y/o). I can not have any more children, so I'm hoping one day we will be able to afford to adopt a little girl.
I ocassionally get sad that I didn't get to keep my baby girl, but I keep hope that I can adopt one day.

God bless!

Boys Rule!

We don't always get what we want...just let it go, you will make yourself crazy if you keep obsessing over this!

Boys Rule! Seriously!

Karma
Mom/Auntie to 6 boys!

I would be happy that you have healthy boys. Is the question you really want a girl or is their something missing in your life that makes you feel this way? Why dont you baby sit for someone who has a little girl? See if you still feel the same way. I hope you do not feel slammed by all of these posts. Why do you really want a girl? Like I said,is their something in your life that you feel like you could give a girl that you could not give your boys. I have a boy and I think he is great. I do not have to deal with buying bras or periods. He is fun and a joy to have. I am glad that I had a healthy child later on in life. Feel happy with what you have not for what you do not have. GOD bless. Look deep inside and be honest with yourself and I am sure you will figure it out.

I agree with some other moms who suggested you visit your Dr. to be sure this isn't depression. I'm certain you love both of your boys very much. I'm worried that you're not able to enjoy them though. Hormones can do wacky things to your noggin. I'd try the Dr. first. You never know what s/he might be able to do to help. If that turns out not to be the issue you'll need to figure out a way to embrace having 2 boys.

If you can't have what you want then maybe you can want what you have. Think about all the things that are wonderful about boys like their exuberance or their loyalty to mom, their ability to be so rough and tumble, or maybe it's that someday it's likely your sons will choose your daughters for you when they marry. Maybe you'll have female grandchildren. I understand you need to morn the loss of not getting what you hoped for. I hope with a Dr.s visit you'll begin to feel some relief from these terrible feelings. Good luck!

K.,

I would not be disappointed by having two kids the same sex. Look I have one 3 year old girl and hubby and I are talking about baby #2, we really would love to have a baby boy, but we both are set to have what ever God wishes, as long as the baby is healthy and mommy is fine. Thank God for your kids, as there are moms out there that wish to have at least one no matter the sex. Those are God's little angels and your babies. Who knows maybe if you guys try again your baby girl will come.

K., reading your "what happened" perhaps I mis-read it, but are you saying you consider your boys mistakes? If so I think it's more than gender disappointment,you sound like you are seriously depressed? Were you checked for PPD? Do you think this or any past depression is an issue? You need to talk to someone. Thinking those thoughts about your boys even wanting a girl, is not normal. Is your hubs aware of how you feel? And let me ask this, why a girl? A lot of moms think having girls they'll have a best friend, do mommy daughter stuff, shop and talk girl talk, but that's not a garauntee. The girl you could have had could be the total opposite and not be what you dreamed of, then what? If you aren't in counseling I really hope you try to find some help for you. These thoughts are not healthy for you or your precious boys.

I have a 2 and 1/2 year old boy and when I got pregnant again I really wanted another boy and I had a girl. Boys are so lovely and easy to please!
I must admit the first time around I wanted a girl and I was disappointed, but now I feel ashamed to even think about it
I dont know much about girls, I guess I'll find out soon...she's only 12 weeks!
I dont know if it helps but I think you are really lucky and I envy you a bit!
Enjoy your little ones until they are little!
B.

Although I can sympathize with what your saying...I have to agree with the suggestions of others who say focus on what you love about your boys instead of focusing on what your missing out.
I am a mom of two girls and yes, my dream of once having a girl/boy fizzled out when I heard the the declaring ultrasound for our second child being a girl. It was hard because everyone around me has had their typical "girl/boy boy/girl" scenario. And while I do have one daughter who loves dirt and the other who practically wears nothing but dresses, I have realized that children come in all different personalities, while either a boy or girl, just embrace those personalities and stop worrying about what you don't have.
Oh and I have to admit, one of my goals is to work on strengthening the bond between my daughters. I have seen many same sex siblings grow up to be the best of friends and although there is no guarantee....I am trying my best to nurture this relationship.

Good luck and Best Wishes!