G.W.
I've read tons of books and found that they all say the same thing but with different points of view. I'd suggest you read a few that have worked for people on the board, find the one that best suits your personality and stick to it. My husband and I agreed that we'd pick a book and do whatever it said TOGETHER and it has worked beautifully. People comment all the time about how well behaved our kids are and I know I can take them anywhere any time without ever being embarassed of bad behavior. Also, I'ver required that my babysitters read the same two I did and stick to it as well. The consistency is great for them.
By the way... My research led me to: Love & Logic Parenting The Toddler Years by Jim Fey and someone else whose name escapes me and the other book is Between Parent and Child by Dr. Haim Ginott. Written a long time ago, but still relevant.
Good luck!