Going Rate for Allowance and the Suitable Chores to Earn Said Allowance?

I think your list is fair, but I personally don't do allowance for a basic chore list. No one pays me to clean so why should I pay someone else to clean. Allowance for me comes into play for above and beyond. My daughter is 16. She is responsible for her own laundry, her own bedroom, the trash, the dishes, and the litter box. I do everything else. She gets no money for any of this. If she chooses to say sweep and mop, or clean the bathroom, then I'll give her money because it's beyond her normal chores.

The problem with paying kids for chores is they get bored after a while, and decide they no longer want to do them. Young kids don't really need money so it's not very motivating, you know? The teen may be more motivated, but he should probably be looking for a part time job at his age, or maybe he can agree to take on extra work around the house to earn money, like washing the cars, mowing the lawn, watching your son, stuff like that. But I think the everyday family chores should be done without pay, because it's not an option or a reward, but part of being a family.

In our house, we take care of our jobs and responsibilities before any relaxing or fun stuff. We started with a basic chore list, yes, and basically said "if you want to play games, go out, do 'your' thing, you WILL contribute."

Those things are not connected to money. They are part of being a member of the family. Everyone contributes. It's not fair to make mom and dad do everything. Kids are not kings, and it's important to us not to relate the contribution they make in the home to a "what do I get for doing this work?" attitude. They don't get anything for their chores except our appreciation for the help and praise for a job well done.

However, as kids get older, they do need a bit of spending money and to begin to understand how to handle money in a responsible way. For allowance, we pay 50 cents per year of age. So, for example, our 10 year old gets $5 per week. Payday is every two weeks, on Saturday. The kids get paid the day after we get paid (approximately). On payday, they get their money, and then have to pay 10% into tithe and 20% into long-term savings. This establishes a habit that will follow them into adulthood. The rest is theirs to spend or save as they wish. Before holidays, they like to keep a short-term savings as well.

It's so important that kids understand money. How it comes in and where it goes. That when it's gone, it's gone. That we can't just whip out a card or write a check when we don't have money in the bank.

We don't hide that from our kids. They NEED to know that leaving the lights on and the front door open means a $200 electric bill instead of a $160 one. Allowing them to know that makes them more thoughtful and considerate of how the family runs.

Best of luck to you!

C. Lee

I think your system sounds great. A friend has 5 kids and does something very similar. The way she has it set up, her kids get a set allowance ($20 for the older teens, less for younger kids, just as you propose). She has a monetary amount by each chore, and if she has to do the chore for the child, that child has to pay her the amount. So it's similar to yours because if they didn't do any chores for the week, they would lose their entire allowance because they would have to pay it to her.

Another thing she does is have a list of extras at the bottom of the chart. They are things that need to be done everyone once in a while, but aren't assigned to anyone. If a child wants to earn some extra $$, they can do one of the extras. The extras change all the time depending on what needs to be done around the house, and can be either big or small projects (wash the windows from the inside, wash the car, etc).

One category I don't see on your list at all is outside housework: mowing, trimming, weeding, etc. You might tailor your list to the child's interests. If, for example, he prefers to be outside, you might have more success in getting him to mow and trim weekly rather than do the dishes twice a week. But that depends on his personality and what kinds of things need done outside at your house.

And I assume your husband will have chores on the list too? Your SS is likely to identify the most with his dad, and so it will be important for your husband to be a good role model in terms of having and doing chores.

I think your lists seem basically fair. I'd be a little concerned that your whole system is basically about starting with money and trying to not LOSE it, rather than EARNING it (it's subtle, but it makes a difference). I also think your chorse (esp for the 7 year olds) are more about self-care than helping the household, but if that's all you WANT him to do, fine.

Paying for chores is a slippery slope, what if they decide they don't need the money? What if you ask them to do something extra?

If you're set on this plan, I think you will be fine with it. If you're open to suggestion:

-My 7 year old DS has the following "jobs" in our house: Keep room tidy daily, vacuum weekly; sort his laundry and run colors (he isn't allowed to use bleach)... I have to move the clean clothes from washer to dryer because he can't reach down in, but everything else he does on his own; fold and put away clean clothes; sort and fold family whites; put away clean silverware; set and clear table for every dinner; pack his own snack on school days; sole responsibility for recycling (sorting, taking to garage, and dragging to curb on pick up day); take garbage to curb and back on pick up day; bring in and sort mail; vacuum family areas when asked; clean his bathroom when asked.

We use a check mark chart not an allowance. He picks out a toy or game he wants and we set a number of checkmarks required to earn it (usually 200 or so). He also needs 5 check marks each day to use computer, tv, or video games that day.

hth
T.

The 17 year old would probably be better served getting a job or doing odd jobs to earn money. You do housework, not for allowance at 17 years old but because you are a part of the family and that is just what family does. We work together to keep the place clean and neat and we help each other out from time to time and that kind of help may earn you some extra pocket change. My 18 year old son on spring break was asked to do me and hubby's laundry. We just didn't have time to do it. He did it and that earned him $21.00 for his 3 hours of work (shelping it to the laundry mat, washing, drying and folding). He did a great job and it was outside of the scope of his regular household stuff. (He still needs to do his laundry since I took up his laundry time with my laundry. It was too many bags to make one trip.)

When and if the 17 year old comes to live with you, please set establish the ground rules. This way he knows what to expect and so do you. Keep the lines of communication open.

The 17 year old while not quite an adult needs to be given the same kind of weight with the chores around the house than just the ones listed. My thoughts behind this is preparing him to be on his own and/or some day having a family of his own he may have to shop, cook, and clean for.

H.,

I just want to commend you on being so thoughtful with this situation. It may not turn out exactly as planned (as things with kids often don't), but the fact that you've put in so much effort and thought into making this organized, fair as well as keeping your kids responsible is really commendable.

My only suggestion, since you're asking us, is to include the 17 year old in this decision. Perhaps send him an almost identical letter of what you just wrote to us and ask him for his thoughts and suggestions. This, above anything, will make him feel like he is an important part of the family with a voice that you are willing to hear and listen.

Best,
S.