Advice on Allowance

Updated on March 02, 2008
T.A. asks from Foxboro, MA
19 answers

Our family has gone through significant changes in the last year. In the past we were able to buy basically whatever our children asked for but now we have to tighten it up a bit. I am also trying to teach our children the value of money and saving and working hard to get something you really want. Also, that it's not healthy to have everything you want when you want it. We have downsized our house and I work virtually 7 days a week so we have instituted a chore chart. My son is very excited about doing chores to earn money but we are at odds as to what his work is worth. I have heard that the national average for an 8 year old is $7 per week. He has done the math and realized that it will take him two months to earn the video game he wants and has counter offered $14 ;-) a week and we take off $1 for everytime he doesn't complete an item on the list. I told him I would take a poll of other moms and get back to him. I am all for being fair but I don't want to continue our pattern of giving our children too much and making it too easy for them to get everthing they want. The other wrench in the engine is that I own a toy store which at times is torture for my children. They see other children come in and "get" things but they don't see the ones that come in with their bags of change that they've been saving for that special item. I make it a rule that my children have to earn what they want out of the store but we've never actually put dollar amounts or a time frame on what they have to earn. Any advice you could give on how much is the going rate for chores would be great.

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D.W.

answers from Boston on

Hi T.,
I am interested in giving my son an allowance as well to teach him about money. I found this website online and it looks pretty intersting. There is an article on allowances, but the site seems to offer some other tips too. http://www.prosperity4kids.com/payingforchoreswithallowan...
Good luck!

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L.B.

answers from Barnstable on

Hi T.,
You are SO on the right track.... good for you. I am 56 yr old grammy, Mom to 6 (three bio, two step, one foster). All but one of the step's have become adults, accountable for their actions, deeds, money, etc.. all but the one step married, babies, homes... so I guess I did a good job. (by the way, the one step age 24 landed on us in Nov and just doesn't get it.. we didn't have any input into her upbringing until she was 17. I am hopeful because she's a good person). SOOO... I think you're right on track. My kids went thru a lot of hard times. When my first husband and I divorced a lot of 'extras' stopped cold... skating lesson, skiing, even those book sales got tough. They all worked from age 14 on, there just wasn't a choice. All went to college, paying for a lot of their own tuition (their Dad chose not to pay for any). Kids who are not given anything they want are far better off than those who are spoiled. They will always see others who have more..thats life. Its a great lesson because its just plain true. I have no idea what 'going rates' would be..sorry. But, just wanted to compliment you.

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D.K.

answers from Boston on

I really am not a fan of allowance, but agree that it helps greatly w/teaching the values of earning and saving for things you want. I give my children 1 dollar for every year of their age....my 7 year old gets 7 dollars, etc. The understanding, is they put half of their money in savings, and the other half is theirs to have in their purse or piggy bank to spend on things they want. This makes me a lot happier than watching my hard earn dollars being spent on some cheap plastic toy every week. When my children do not complete their chores, they get nothing...there is no picking and choosing of chores as we are all member of this family and need to help eachother out. Hope this helps!

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E.M.

answers from Boston on

Hi T.,
I have three (13,11 & 7) we don't give allowances nor do we pay for grades like some of their friends parents. As a member of the family we all have to paticipate in the running and upkeep of the house. (After you grocery shop, they put the food away, if you do the wash, they fold and put away, everyone takes out the trash & recycling, if you cook dinner they do the dishes, everyone helps everyone else) When the kids get gift money for holidays or birthdays they save it, or spend it at their discretion. It only takes a few times of not having money and remembering you spent it foolishly to learn how to save. Our oldest babysits for extra cash, and the others trade in or consign toys they are done with for their extra money. We aren't misers with $$$ but we are frugal. Teach your kids to save for special things & wait til it goes on sale. When you give to charities make sure you include them in your decision process and encourage them to pick organizations that mirror their concerns.
Since you own a business you can insist houshold chores just get done and you can agree to a fair wage for work in the store. Be consistant though, you'll be teaching them how to have a good work ethic too.

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G.E.

answers from Boston on

I can relate to the 7 days a week working and tightening your belts, since we have one in college and one headed to college in the fall. I am in school 3 nights a week, run a business as an esthetician/makeup artist in new practice and run a business from home. Plus, we have 4 children, a son 20, and 3 daughters 17, 12 and 11. But we don't pay for chores to be done. We all share the use of our home and we all must care for it. From the time they were small starting with folding laundry and setting the table we all have our part to do in the care of our home. By the time my son was fifteen he could cook a 4 course meal for 10 and he did for my birthday that year, very much to my surprise!

We have tried to teach them pride in being part of the family and doing their part is what helps keep the household running smoothly.

Skip your chores lose a privilege...your choice.

Have alot of homework tonight??? Then someone else will help you out just remember to help them next time they need it or take their turn next time.

Now, I do pay my girls for helping clean my office (I am an esthetician and my practice is near home), they wash (1.00 per load) the linens and fold them (1.00 per load), vacuum 1.00, dust 1.00, and emptying the trash $1.00. If they are at the office when I am finishing with a client they now know how to clean an reset the room while I am checking the client out. And helping with filing for my at home business is $5.00 per hour! They love to help with this one! BTW, they are 11 and 12. They have learned the value of work and they divide their income in half with 50% to savings and then from the remaining portion they put 10% in giving.

When my older two were younger, since I have always worked from home I paid them to do things related to my business as well. Labeling things, filing, cleaining my work space etc.

We do pay for things like cleaning the garage or basement, raking leaves, helping maintain the property since these are not everyday chores that are just part of running the household. But we have the same money split system with whatever they get paid. They love going to the bank and enjoy the thrill of giving to others and then having some money of their own to keep or spend on something of their choice. We also explain that we have our money split too...some to taxes, savings, giving and the rest for what the family needs.

For household chores we rotate them according to family schedules. That way no on person is over burdened at any one time but everyone has their role to play. It isn't always perfect but it is a system and as Flylady says (check out Flylady.net), "a job done imperfectly still blesses". So I try not to obsese over the things that are not done or done the way I would like them...they are still a blessing.

Hope this helps in some way and blessings to you.

G.~~~

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C.F.

answers from Pittsfield on

Hi T.,
I have no idea what the going rate is for allowances, but we give our kids a quarter for every year of their age. They don't get paid for chores -- they're expected to do them because they are part of the family. If they are interested in earning extra money for something they've been wanting, they can do extra chores, instead of the normal, everyday ones, and we decide what each is worth at the time. A great resource for teaching kids about money, and the value of it, is "Debt-proof Your Kids," by Mary Hunt. It has tons of great ideas, and a whole section on allowance, particularly increasing it as the kids' responsibility increases, but also making them responsible for more of their own "upkeep." Good luck.

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T.G.

answers from Boston on

Growing up, I was never given an allowance and I had to save all my gift money. Thus, my parents bought everything, at their discretion of course. The bad side was I never learned about money and had no concept what things cost. The good side was when my parents gave me control of my savings account after I graduated from college...I had $3000 in it. My sister didn't fare so well and thought the ATM was spitting out "free" money and she went into debt in her early 20's.
I've decided to set up a chore chart for my kids (ages 10 & 7)and each chore OR good deed is worth .50 cents. I like rewarding them for kindness and helping each other (like older one reading a story to younger one). They usually earn from $4-7 a week. My older son saves everything and now has over $200. My younger son buys small toys with his allowance and has trouble saving for the bigger ones. The expensive toys like video games have to wait until birthdays, holidays or report cards. I encourage them to ask for gift cards so they can buy what they want. When grandpa visits he gives them each $5...so that helps.

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J.C.

answers from Boston on

I tried the "this much money for this particular chore", only to have my child burst into tears when I suggested that she NOT make her bed one morning because I wanted to wash sheets. In her eyes, not making the bed meant loosing $!! We quickly changed to a 2 rule family....#1 Don't hurt feelings. (This includes family pets, relatives, friends, as well), and #2 Help out when someone needs help. Things that need to get done are listed on the fridge, and when they are done, they are crossed off by whoever does them. Weekly allowance is basically $1 for each grade that they are in (i.e. Grade 5 gets $5 a week) This is to be used for anything that might be wanted, but not looked at as something I want to personally purchase. So far, it has worked, and I don't need to work on adding and subtracting various amounts for chores done or not done. Also, on the list of things that need to get done, I always leave a few lines blank, so others can see what needs to be done, add it in, and, hopefully, take care of it!!

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C.T.

answers from Bangor on

Teaching children the value of money isn't just about allowances. I started teaching about money when I was potty training my son.. he earned fake money to buy time on a video game. He had to pay a buck a minute and got $10 each time he used the potty.

When we go to the store - if it's not on the list, we don't buy it. We discuss the list prior to going to the store, as a family. We are each allowed one 'non-essential'. Once at the store, we look at the list and compare item prices. He's 6, and he helps get the least expensive can of corn and put it in the cart. Kids like helping.

As for allowance - We ca't really afford it. My son helps out by cleaning up after himself because he's responsibile for his actions, and his toys. (of course, it helps that I tell him if I have to clean up his toyws, I'm going to put them where *I* think they belong, and he may never see them again).

If I had money for allowances, I would do a dollar for every year old they are...

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J.S.

answers from Providence on

14 sounds like a reasonable amount. I am a mother of 4 and they are all grown now. I did something similar but At allowance time we split the money. When they got their allowances we split it 3 ways. They got 60% to spend, 30% they had to save and 10% went into a jar that we called taxes. Everyone must pay taxes. The taxes got saved for a year and then we did something special with them. I let the children decide what they wanted to do with it. Alot of the times they chose an angel from the christmas tree. The angel was a less fortunate child who we chose to be a secret santa to. It worked out great with them. They learned about saving, giving and taxes.

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M.S.

answers from Providence on

I think you are being generous. I had read 50 cents per year old. We give our 5 year old that as an allowence he has very few chores however. he is also expected to save 1/3 for savings and save 1/3 for charity. we have added a reward system for him to earn treats. such as a trip for munchkins. If interested in the reward system please email directly ____@____.com

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R.F.

answers from Boston on

In my opinion $14 would be a bit on theh high side.What about suggesting if he saves 1/2 the $ you'll pitch in the other 1/2. Kind of as a reward for earning it, saving it and not spending it on junk. You never know once he has a few dollars in his pocket he may decide that video game isn't worth spending his OWN $ on.
(you actually may get the better end of the deal doing it this way :)

I see nothing wrong with paying kids to do chores they normally wouldn't be expected to do. I don't pay for keeping their own room clean or putting their coats/toys away,things like that are expected.

GOOD LUCK ! :)

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T.C.

answers from Portland on

$7 a week is more than enough at age 8. My daughter earned $5 a week at that age. She is now 11 and the only reason I raised hers, was to give her more of an opportunity to earn the $5, as she would typically "forget" to do chores, consequently loosing the $ for that day. Another angle I put on it, was to give her at least half of the day's earnings even if she skipped out on her daily chores. I did this in the hope that by receiving at least some money, she would be reminded about how much more she "could've" made had she just done the chores. It is definitely a plan that changes as my daughter changes ( and as she creates more ways to figure out short cuts! LOL!!) One other idea is to keep that base $1/dayfor routine chores and if your kids would like to earn "extra" money, you find "above and beyond" projects around the house and yard. If they really want whatever it is they are saving for, they will have to work to get it. When my daughter wants $15 or something for a yard job that maybe only takes her a half hour to accomplish, I remind her that there are adults who are trying to raise families who sometimes only earn from $5 to $7 an hour for whatever it is! This puts a dose of reality into the value of money thing as well! LOL! Hope this helps.

T.

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A.K.

answers from Burlington on

T.,
My parents did something neat when I was young. I started with an allowance of $5/week and everytime I didn't do a chore $0.50 was taken off (I had a lot of chores). I started this at around 6 or 7. Every year on my birthday the amount per week went up by $1. When I turned 13 my parents also implemented a family checking and savings acct. I also had a real bank acct but the one with my family was so we would learn to save our money and write checks, make deposits and withdrawls. There were even real "banking hours" we had to go by with our parents. We also had a maximum withdrawl limit. It worked out really well. Since your little boy is 8, I'd give him $8/week :). That way the amount will coincide with his age AND its a bit higher than the $7 average :).

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

i would suggest that you stick to your guns. earning money and saving it teaches patience.
you also have your younger children to think about-what will their price tag be?
he is fortunate that you are willing to pay him and you are right that you don't want things to be acquired so easily - after all you worked hard to own business.
i know it sounds hard, but we want our children to succeed in life
my son is 15 and earns 20 for the week. he also mows other peoples lawns for wages.

C.

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M.F.

answers from Pittsfield on

I expect my kids 7, 10 & 12 to take care of their own rooms, toys, coats and shoes without being paid.

my children can earn .50 each chore by choosing from my chore list:

1. take the full bag of trash out of the kitchen or bathroom, tye it up, take it to the outside storage bin and replace the bag.-takes 5 mins

2. cleaning the cat litter & replacing it with new, put bag in trash.-takes 5 mins

3. wash and rinse dishes.-$1.00 takes 15-20 mins

4. wipe down counter tops and table.-takes 5 mins

5. sweep the kitchen and swiffer wet jet the floor.-takes 5 mins

6. vacuum the living room.-takes 10 mins

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L.B.

answers from Portland on

I agree with Kathy V. Families are supposed to function as a team, we as adults don't get paid for doing chores, we get paid for going to work and working hard. Chores are part of everyday living, life skills if you may. Teaching your kids about money should come from things they do outside of chores and the home. My parents never paid me for chores and I have very good money saving skills, I started working young because my aunt and uncle managed a restaurant. I was scooping ice cream at age 12 and that was the year my mother and father went to the bank with me and opened a savings account. They taught me to take a percentage of my paycheck and save it, the rest was for things I wanted or needed. When I started working my parents stopped buying my school clothes for me (they would buy me the necessities, but I had to buy the name brand jeans I just had to have, but they could not afford), I had to save money and plan ahead for fall school shopping. When I was 16 I opened a checking account, a percentage of my check went to savings and the rest to my checking for gas, movies, cd's etc. My parents could not afford to buy me all of those extra things I wanted, so they taught me how to do it myself. Your kids are young, you have plenty of time to teach them the importance of saving and spending. I went to college with over $5000 dollars in my savings, good thing too, I really needed it! That's my 2 cents!

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L.B.

answers from Burlington on

We give less than your stated average, and it may go up soon, but what we do that is a bit different is that each weeks allowance is split into three parts: one for saving, one for for giving, and one for spending. Our eight year old child is not very materialistic and so we need to remind him to spend his spending money from time to time, but as for his savings he is thrilled to go to the back and deposit and get his monthly statements - he is saving for a trip abroad when he becomes a teenager! He is also happy to gather up enough money each year to donate to two or three non-profits of his choice.

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K.V.

answers from Boston on

We have never done allowances. We feel that the family lives, eats and works together therefore no one is paid for those privileges. We have had up times and down times financially and through it all they weren't paid for helping maintaining the household. Occasionally, the children would get something special or we would all go for ice cream when everyone would work extra hard at spring cleaning or times like that.

Now, when my husband was a contractor for several years and when the children would go with him or we all went and helped on a project, they would be paid per job for that OR when we started our clothing mission in Appalachia, my son began a rag business at 10yrs old, cutting up the old cotton clothes and sold them to garages.

I would suggest that helping maintain the home should be done for free since they live there but to work in the toy store, whether picking up, stocking shelves, dusting...etc...they should be paid for that since that is a family business that deserves pay.

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