Hello, I am going on a business trip fairly soon. I wrote about it earlier asking for ways to make the trip easier on my nursing daughter and myself. Thank you for all your advice. This time I would like to know your opinion on a different aspect of the trip. My daughter will be a 2 weeks shy of six months when I leave and other than some teething issues is a fairly happy baby. However she is really attached to me. I will be going on the trip for a week. I feel that my husband should work at least a few days out of the week that I will be gone so that my daughter stays in her routine. He, however, insists on staying home with her the entire time. My thought is that I will already be gone (and she is very attached to me) and throwing her off her routine any more than necessary could cause her to be more upset. I also think that if he keeps her out for the whole week while I am gone she may have a lot of trouble returning to daycare afterwards.
If your husdand is able to stay home for a week and wants to, I would let him. How many husbands would or could actually do that! I also don't think that would completely mess up your little girl's routine from daycare. (Maybe just for a day)
Ok, if he was going out of town, and you had the ability to stay home, would you second guess for a minute about spending the time with her. Nope! Let daddy go for it! He won't do things as you do, but that's great. He will do a great job and will have a new understanding of what it is like to be home with a baby all day. Your daughter will be so in love with daddy when you come home, but that too is fantastic. The adjustment back to daycare may still be there, but that would have been there regardless. Have a good trip!
It could go either way. Maybe he sees this as his time to have some special time with her - you mentioned several times that she is very attached to you, maybe he feels a little jealous of that. I agree with your point of view that changing her routine completely could be upsetting, but really, in my opinion, any minute your child can spend with a parent versus a daycare is worth it. Yeah, she may be a little resistant going back, but not anymore than she would be after a family vacation. If he wants to take the week off and have a little vacation with her, let him, just tell him he has to drop her off at daycare until she readjusts :-)
I think it's wonderful that your husband wants to spend the week at home. It will be a great opportunity for him to form a special bond with the kids. It will be hard for them not having mommy there for a week but it will ease some of their stress to have daddy there! As long as bed time, meal time, nap time, and snack time schedules stay as close to normal as possible, I think they will all be fine. Enjoy your business trip and relax because you know your children are being well cared for!!!
What if you compromised and she went partial days? It would probably be good for you and your hubby, because I will guarantee you as great a dad as he may be, he has no idea what he's in for. He may find he needs the rest. So, maybe he could take her an hour later in the morning and pick her up an hour or two earlier in the afternoon. He might just find he needs the time for a nap or to do the laundry, go to the store, etc.
Babies are amazing adaptable. I would keep her daycare all week (or whatever she normally does) because your husband is going to need a break! My husband leaves for several days at a time, and I NEED to go to work some days. Don't worry. No matter what, everything will be fine! Enjoy your days away!
Kudos to your husband for having the sensitivity and nurturance to want to spend that time with your child! There is no better situation than when a child is with a caring, loving, and understanding parent.
I can understand your concern about being out of routine. I have 5 children & routine and organization are very important. However, better for her to have undivided attention from Dad at a time when she will be missing you than for her to "work through it" on her own at daycare.
good luck!
S.,
Children are very resilient and bounce back fast.
I will tell you something, let yous husband stay with her. It will really change their relationship. If you're going to be gone, let him make the decision and get a taste of it.
Few men would want to take this on so I think it is commendable and absolutely fabulous for your daughter. How can you think that daycare will be more beneficial than bonding with her father?
Daycare will return for a long time and she may never or very rarely ever get this time to share with daddy.
Change is the spice of life and it is never to young to have to start adapting to the changing world around us, and our children have to learn to adapt as well.
You state the baby is very attached to you. Maybe your husband would like the time alone with his child to strengthen their bond as well.
I would let him do this, take advantage of his willingness to spend this special time with his child. There are a lot of husbands/fathers out there who would rather not be bothered.
P. R
