Going from 2 Kids to 3 - Las Vegas,NV

Updated on December 26, 2009
S.D. asks from Las Vegas, NV
15 answers

I am currently a mommy of 2 my son will be 7 in about 3 weeks and my daughter is 4 1/2 she will be 5 in July. After my daughter was born I said im done! I have one of each so it's perfect! Lately tho I've had really strong baby fever and feel incomplete with 2 and really want a 3rd. My husband is still back and forth about it. I'm worried about jealously tho my kids are getting older and not sure how they would act with a 3rd. I'm also worried about the transition for me going from 1 child to 2 was fairly easy I am a sahm and don't plan on returning anytime soon so what I'm asking is for some experiance stories the transitions how it changes everything and how the age differences will affect how the kid may feel

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your input! I def think I am ready for number 3 and can handle it! I guess there is never a perfect time to have a baby just a perfect baby everytime! Now I just have to work on getting the husband to feel the same way! Update my husband is 100% on board I stopped bringing it up and he finally did so nothing stopping us now!

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J.S.

answers from Visalia on

I went from 1 to 3 (twins) and it was very easy. I have since gone from 3 to 4 and again very easy. Children are okay with these changes, its the parents that worry about something that always turns out fine. Relax and calm your 'mommy' worries. If you decide to have another, it will all turn out just fine :)

1 mom found this helpful
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C.K.

answers from San Diego on

For me, the only thing that kept me sane was www.flylady.net

It's free and it will help you in every aspect of your life.

good luck

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M.B.

answers from Honolulu on

I was 8 and my brother was 6 when our sister was born. We were SO EXCITED and actually fought over her when she was little. We each wanted to hold her more, play with her, etc. I loved playing "mommy" with her. I think your older kids would be fine.

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L.B.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi S.,

I am a sahm mom of three. Ages 5, 3 and 10 mos. I was REALLY nervous about the arrival of baby #3 and I have to tell you that it was nothing like I had feared. My older 2 adore their little sister and the transition I think was easier than going from 1 to 2. I know everyone has a different experience, but I wanted to share mine. I have had a GREAT experience. So of course I would say go for it. Best of luck to you and have a wonderful holiday!

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H.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

S.,
Our age gap is a bit bigger with our oldest, he was ten, my second, a girl, was turning 8 when we had our third child, a boy now three.
THEY ARE THE BEST OF FRIENDS. I don't know why or how, but they are and we are so blessed for it!
The strange thing is, we have several friends who have since had a third or fourth after a long gap and they too are finding the bonds very strong and loving.
If you are lucky enough to be able to, I say go for it!
Goof luck!

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I really wouldn't worry about the kids. However, your husband definitely needs to be on board (of his own free will, not through coercion!)

Best of luck with your precious family.

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Your story mirror mine quite closely... although my kids are now 26 (girl) 23.5 (boy)and then... yes, a third 18.5 (boy). I was feeling the same incompleteness... everytime I looked in the back seat I just felt like there was one missing. We tried to get pregnant with #3 but it just was not working. And then finally 5 years later... what a joy!

Yes, there is a bit of a gap... and it in some ways is like starting over again... but in many ways it is really wonderful.

#1. You will not be stressed by being torn about who's concert to go to, or which game to attend because of the age spread. (Life has definitely settled down with our last one the only kid at home & still in HS. We have been able to really be involved in his HS activities which is still so very important!)

#2. They can have sibs, yet also have great one on one attention from mom & dad. (Birth order book shows that 5 years gap between kids starts the order over again)

#3. Since your girl is the younger of your older kids... she can be mom's helper, especially if she is nurturing by nature... which you will love so much!!

#4. And from a purely practical point of view... with 5 years difference between your last two, they will not be in college together. I am sure this seems like a long way off but that time will come, believe me, and this fact will be very much appreciated since it is such a relief on the pocketbook!! (We are sending our youngest off to college this next fall just as our middle one is finishing.

#5. We started much later than you... #1 arrived when I was at 34. It has kept us & is keeping us young! Too much fun!

I could go on but will stop now because you get the jist... I give 3 kids and a little breathing room in between them, 5 stars!
Blessings!

PS: I just told my hubby that I could not resist responding to your situation S.... and he said what's wrong with having a third... tell her to have 2 more!

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K.K.

answers from San Diego on

Hello, I can only speak from my experience. When my third one was born, our daughter was 7 and our son was 5. I worked out very well and we didn't see any problems until they were older and our daughter had to share a room. That was a little shaky. Then we had our fourth one when our oldest daughter was 9 and our son was 7. Our youngest daughter was 2 1/2. They all doted on our youngest son and helped to spoil him rotten. No, really, he was a very sweet child.
Good luck with your precious family.
K. K.

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T.P.

answers from Madison on

i am due with my 3rd child in 2 months. my children are very excited to be getting a little sister. i was worried myself, but as long as you dont treat them any different there shouldnt be a problem

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L.M.

answers from Reno on

Hi, S....
I have a 10 yr. old daughter, 6 yr. old daughter and an 18 mos. old son. So, my children are about the same distance as your two (and possibly 3rd.). The transition was easy and actually, my girls were so excited! They were a part of the entire pregnancy and loved being in the room when we did the sonograms, etc.. As long as you allow the big sister and brother to be part of entire process, they'll be fine. Give them lots of love, and let them help out with the decorating of the room, buying the baby his/her clothes, etc.. They'll love being part of the "Baby Team", as we called it. Let them have some say in the small things, and they won't be threatened by a new sibling...

Good luck!

L.

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K.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

If you are lucky enough to be a sahm and you love it and enjoy it and are good at it...you should go for it! You are so young. your kids will adjust. Children are very flexible and adjust to things more easily than we do. Don't miss out on your desires.

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J.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

I, too had those same 'baby' feelings. My husband was done- our kids tuckered us out! My husband scheduled a vasectomy, but it wasn't for a while so we decided to go on a nice cruise by ourselves, a honeymoon after 5 years of living in babyville; we scrimped and saved for this weekend. That cruise gave us the best souvenir- another pregnancy. I was actually devastated when I first learned I was pregnant for the 3rd time because we didn't think we could afford another baby let alone take more time off for maternity / paternity leave. However, we were wrong. We are able to afford our kids and I cannot ever imagine our lives without our 3rd blessing. God will always provide.
As far as jealousy with the kids are concerned, I wouldn't worry. Kids are resilient and they were more excited about helping me take care of the baby instead of being jealous. Sure, there were times and are still times when jealousy is exhibited in one kid or the other, but I think this is a constant. If anything, the third child becomes the peacemaker, the tie breaker, and the comedian. The third child..and children thereafter seem to learn so much quicker and are much more independent b/c they absorb things from their older siblings.
So, if you really want a 3rd child and hubby is on the fence, I say go for it :) The worst the 3rd child could do is bring more love into your family!

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P.F.

answers from Las Vegas on

We were in the same situation as you...we had a daughter, then 3 years later, a son...perfect, right? Well, no we kept thinking that we wanted just one more...so we did, 2 1/2 years later and it was boy/girl twins...what a shock! A larger family then we ever dreamed, and harder, but, of course, we wouldn't have traded any of them for anything. Our twins are 17 now so we are almost empty-nesters...little babies sound good right now...guess we have to wait for grand-kids :-) Good luck. One of our twins is named Malia (almost like Talia :-)

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J.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

We went from 1 to 3 and it hasn't been completely easy. My older daughter has been fine with the twins (she's 4.5 years older), but does sometimes feel put aside when we have to tend to the babies. Mostly, though, she loves playing with them and insists that they share her room. I'm also working full time and my husband is disabled, so the majority of everything falls on me. Financially it's tough because he can't care for the twins and we are paying a lot each month in daycare for them, as well as after school care for my older daughter.

All I can say is make sure your husband is fully on board with another child. Our situation is different because we had to do IVF, so there was no chance of a surprise baby. Bringing children into the world was very intentional. We wanted one more and got two, and it is wonderful, yet a full time job...in addition to the one I have outside the home. My only sanity-saving thought is that I get to retire in a little over three years and will then get to become a SAHM with a paycheck. For me it is worth it to hold on and weather these chaotic times. Wait and see if your husband comes around to the idea. We thought two was the perfect number for us, but God had other ideas!

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S.Z.

answers from Reno on

My oldest 2 are only 13 months apart, so we thought that having another baby would be easy. We had to wait 7 years, though, because I just couldn't get pregnant. My older kids were 7 and 8 when #3 was born, and I really worried. With 2 so close together, the first times I had a baby in the house, everything was about babies. Now I had girls in school, dance class, gymnastics, Scouts, church programs... I could not imagine how I'd juggle all that AND a baby. (My husband worried a bit about the cost, because that's whjat men do, but I'm completely OK with second hand stuff, and how much does a child eat, really, so I didn't worry much about money.) It turned out that I shouldn't have worried - the baby fit in seamlessly with the rest of our lives. It was also very good for my older kids, because they had to expand their world vision from constantly competing with each other to thinking about someone else, and how they could/should help. By the time we had #4, (the # I'd planned for all my life), we were all pros. :)

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