Godmother

You need to what you feel is best. Could she be hurt if you ask someone else yes but she did tell you that she would understand if you chose someone else. If it is important to you to have the same godmother for both of your sons than I would let her mother stand in for her. Is there a reason she cannot make the baptism this time? Personally I think it is important for the actual godparents to be there that is the first step in saying I will be there for you always but I also understand that sometimes because of locations and where people live it is not easy. I am having my children baptized on the 27th of this month and as it took a rescheduling I was able to get both godmothers and my uncle who is godfather to both of my children soon. You already rescheduled it twice on her account and I am sure you informed her along the way of dates and changes. If your gut is telling you to pick someone else than do it. Sit down and talk to her about it. How would she feel and tell her to tell you the truth. If she doesn't want the responsibility than she should just tell you so or if she does but cannot absolutely be there for whatever reason she would like to have her mother stand in for her. Whatever decision you make it will be the right one. God bless you and your family.

If you feel strongly that the Godmother should be present at the baptism, you may want to consider choosing someone else. You may be right that she is trying to decline - for personal reasons or because she simply doesn’t have the time to attend the baptism right now. You may even be doing her a favor by not pursuing or pressuring her.

If she is family she already has a special place in your lives. Not being Godmother to your youngest son should not change that. I am assuming she has some very special qualities to be chosen as Godmother for so many children. If that is the case, she should be able to consider the circumstances and overcome any hurt feelings if you do choose someone else. This is an important spiritual milestone and expecting you to continue postponing it isn’t fair.

If the reason for wanting the same Godmother for your sons is that you intend her to be their legal guardian in the event something should happen to you and your husband, you can name her as legal guardian without her being Godmother. I remember as a kid that I equated Godparents with guardians. I know others who were under the same impression. I’ve come to learn that is not the case and that a Godparent is a spiritual role model.

You haven't mentioned if the Godfather will be the same for both of your boys. If they each have a different Godfather, why not a different Godmother? I don’t know if this will help your discussion with your husband but I don't know of any siblings who have the same Godparents.

Good luck with your decision.

It's hard isn't it to get schedules of busy people coordinated?
I think I'd suggest that she pick the date and y'all coordinate with that. If she misses that one, then you may be right about her *feelings*.
I'd think though that she's just busy ~ I tend to think the *half full* way anyhow ~ when I can find the glass at all. ;)

Hi. I think you're right. It sounds like she just can't do it right now. I'm sure it's nothing personal but if you've gone to the trouble of changing it for her twice and she still can't commit maybe your other friend is a good choice. I'm sure her feelings wouldn't be hurt...especially if she's going through personal issues. She would probably appreciate not having to do it.

Jessica:

Avoid stressing yourself about the situation -- life is too short. I would choose another person at this point. She is already the godmother of one of your sons so I am sure it will not hurt her feelings -- after all, when asked to participate in such an event, you should make yourself available to the family at a time convenient to them and their baby or decline the offer. I guess it depends on how important it is to her. You have gone above and beyond by rescheduling the event two other times. Think about what is best for you and your family --I am sure you have a busy schedule too.

D.

Are you Catholic?
She can still be Godmother, just have a proxy stand in for her since her schedule is nutty.

I had that happen to me.

Hope this helps

I myself would be upset with changing the date 3 times already.If you have someone else in mind and would be a good role model i would ask someone else.I had to do a stand in for my oldest,but my cousin lived in norfolk at the time. I didn't want just anyone and when i had to do a stand in i picked an aunt.I keep all my god parents in the family except one who is my husbands best friend.

She doesn't seem like she would have time to take your children if something happened. That is the idea of godparents after all. Maybe you should have a talk with her, and let her know that you are considering new godparents for your kids, because you would want them to stay together if anything ever happened to you and your husband. Explain that you feel that she doesn't have the time, since her schedule is so tight, she couldn't even make it to the baptism. Tell her you don't want any hard feelings, but you need to do what is best for your children. If she doesn't understand, you need to consider if she is someone you want as a friend anyone. Your childrens best interests are at stake, don't worry about feelings being hurt.

I know that is is disappointing when the person you choose can't be there. It happened to us. However, we did have a proxy stand in. That way we had the person we chose and the other person we chose as the proxy felt like an honorary Godparent. It really boils down to who do you want to look after the spritual well being of your son? If you have changed your mind about the original person, then you have to get past worrying that she will be upset. You need to do what is best for your child. If you feel that you would rather have the original person you chose, then stick w/her and get a proxy. Let go and let God....pray about it and you'll come to the right decision:o) Good luck and I'm glad your getting your baby baptized!

Mom of 3 wonderful boys 11, 9, and 4