Go to Sleep on Their Own

I am 25 and made and may be still making mistakes. I know what I am going to say other moms may not like. I always believe that my childs comfort comes first. Sometimes my two year old needs me to be there until she falls asleep. I do not necessary lay with him I just sit or just rub her back alittle and she is out. It is never for a long time. I can never tolerate to hear her cry but thankfully she does not cry because she wants me there she will only cry cause my little one just does not go to sleep. I do co sleep with my daughter. It is comfortable for her and it is comfortable for my husband and I. Usually she may fall asleep on my bed first and then I or my husband bring her to her bed and she sleeps until she wakes up. I would try to just put him in his bed try the book thing cause that did not work for us or movie thing. I also sit next to my daughters bed and say its bedtime and that usually works. Trust me my 2 year old does not listen at all when it is nightime. Do want you want to do and makes him or you comforable...good luck

try putting him to sleep with the door open. With a firm voice let him know NOT to get up. I did this with my boys and it worked the first night. When they were small they shared a room and night time was always a nightmare!! Leaving the door wide open with a hall light on lets them or him know you can hear him getting up. I'm sure I'll upset people with this one, but I do believe in spanking your children (when needed). That also helped my boys stay in bed :)
One or two good swats on the bottom will get their attention.

He doesn't "need" you to lay down with him for him to sleep, you've simply gotten him into a bad habit and it is you who has to break it, not him. You have the choice of continuing to make his going to sleep dependent on you, or simply breaking off this habit cold turkey and dealing with the crying, screaming or whatever else. Although I coslept when my kids were babies, and they were pretty much always welcome to come into our room during the night, we never started the very difficult to break habit of staying with them til they fell asleep. It's really a mistake.

You can prolong the agony if you wish by gradually spending less time in his room - bring in a timer and tell him you'll spend 15 minutes, then a few days later it's 10, then 5.

Good luck

Hi Again,
does he have his own room if yes then try putting a TV in his room..give him a special stuffed animal to keep him company. my son who is 2 1/2 will tell me I want to go to sleep on his own and I ask him where does he want to lay and on his own he tells me his room and bed just last night he asked me not to put the TV on and that's how went to sleep all by himself. But my son acts like he his 4yrs old..so I treat him like how he acts no baby talk at all otherwise he stays in hat baby mode...He just started daycare this week also now I have my own business and he was coming to work with me everyday But since we are all grown ups in my house I have a soon to be 18yr old daughter and 16 yr old stepdaughter he needed the socialism and to be around kids his own age he has only gone twice and has already started to adapt to the school and their ways...it's good for them I think we have a harder time then they do but we have to let go because we are only holding them back try to look for a play group in your area this is if he does not get enough playtime like my son with other kids his own age...they adapt to the nap time and things like that...so please consider it. I really think it will help will all your other Lil issues you are having with him..kids learn from each other....Good luck

I had the same problem with my son. He will be four in 3 weeks and he still needs my husband to lay with him. But my husband now only goes in for 2 to 3 minutes and leaves. We used to tell my son that we had to go check on the dog or go to the bathroom and we would be right back to check on him. It was a challenge the first few nights but then he began to fall asleep on his own. He still asks my husband to lay with him but he knows that daddy will not stay long. My son still does not listen, I usually have to take something away or threaten to take something away. This is probably the wrong thing to do but it tends to work when he is out of control. I also think boys tend to test your patience as well as limits. My son knows what buttons to push on me to get me upset or angry.

Buy the Supernanny book. She gives some great tips and they have worked for us. Our boy is 2 1/2 and we do time-outs with him. If they are done correctly, they really work. She also gives advice on bedtime. Such as, put the child to bed and leave the room. The first time the child comes out, you say "It's bedtime darling," and you lead him back in. The second time you say, "bedtime," and lead him back in. After that, everytime he comes out you say nothing and lead him back in. It will be rough for a week or so, but then he will realize that you are not giving in.

K.,

I feel for you!! I didn't get a full night's sleep until my youngest was six!!

She shared a room with her older sister, so I tried to avoid her crying.. and that ruined any chance of breaking her of needing my physical presence in order to go to sleep. She's 12 now, and still has a really hard time falling to sleep. I think part of it is psychological, and part is a physical sleep disorder. (she also started sleep walking around the age of 4) I wish I could offer advice.. but all I can do is commiserate.

As for behavior.. Rest assured that all 3 y/o think they rule the universe. It's a normal developmental stage. Simply it is the age when they are all awful! ( you can recognize a 3 y/o in a playground anywhere in the world LOL)

Don't let it scare you.. because it's not just your son. Really.. Be patient, calm and firm. ( easier said than done) Give him guidelines and consequences before hand, get down on eye level and tell him what you expect ( not just "be good" but no touching, no screaming, no whatever...) and then remind him when he misbehaves what you said would happen as a consequence. ( I used the rule of threes) after his warnings have expired... FOLLOW THROUGH!! I can tell you how many times I carried my daughter kicking and screaming out of the park and straight home when she misbehaved. (four times) After that she learned that when I admonished her, the next step was home. As far as telling him what to do? Don't expect much from that,, Unless you can make something fun or rewarding, a three y/o brain is not going to process it! lol

It's hard to be a succesful mom.. But success is defined as finding what works for YOU and not letting anyone's judgements affect you.

Hang in there..

my son is the same way... it is a stage that i think most boys go through... i am still tryin to get my son to listen but its not a very easy task... just make sure u get down to his level and talk to him as a person cuz the louder you get the more they tend not to listen i hope this helps you some
S....
ps my son just turned 4 last month and i have a daughter that will be 2 in july plus a 6 yr old

Hi K.,
This may help given by our pediatrician for our 1year old grandson. When you settle him in for bedtime, leave the room after a story, kiss and tucking him in. If he cries do not answer his crys until 7 minutes have gone by. If he is still upset go in and comfort him with a rub on his back or kiss but tell him it is bedtime. Keep doing this every 7 minutes until he settles down to sleep. It may take a week or so until he gets used to the idea that you will not be giving in to him. Soon he will be able to comfort himself and go to sleep on his own. This way you are using behavior techniques that will teach him that his crys or upsetment is not getting him his way. Eventually he will give up but be consistent. Children are very smart at getting what they want.
Y. MSW

First of all the not listening thing is a typical 3 year old behavior. They only have an attention span of about 15 mins so, that isn't unusual.
Does your son have a "lovey" to sleep with. What you can do is this. Tonight don't lay with him, just sit on the side of the bed, and do this for a few nights. Then move a few feet away from the bed for a few nights. Then further and further until your sitting outside his door. It will take a while but well worth it.

Great advice from all. One thing I think I'd switch though would be not to use a t.v. at all in a young child's room, but instead use a white noise machine.

It's good you're doing this now. Hang tough, lady.

Good luck!