Gift Suggestion on Party Invite

Will she have to open the gifts and then have to give them up? The trend now that I have noticed is to ask for a small monetary donation to a children's charity instead of toys. When you send out thank you notes, you could let everyone know the grand total of donations that went to help the charity. Parties my kids attended used St. Jude's Children's Hospital, or the local children's services department could direct you towards another charity. Good luck and have fun!

I'm one of those practical moms too and I see nothing wrong with writing something about making donations instead of gifts, or asking for what you DO need. I have nieces who have EVERYTHING, maybe two or three of everything and I struggle with what to get them. (Their mom is super generous and "cleans out" clothing and toys on a regular basis, donating it here or there of passing it along to my daughter. A ritual I've started with my own daughter, who is 20 months today, is making a charitable contribution on her birthday instead of giving her a gift. She has grandmas for that. Last year, the first year, I picked the charity, and as she gets older, she will be able to choose for herself. Hope that helps...

I think that is a sweet and generous idea. Expect a few people to give a second small gift especially for the birthday girl. I have requested books only on invites. they are easy gifts to buy and take up less space than other toys.

Hi J.. I'd like to start by staying that I think you're idea of having gifts donated is anything BUT rude. It's nice to know that there truely are unselfish and kind hearted people in the world. Not only will you be putting a smile on the face of countless "little ones", but you are teaching your daughter a very valuable life lesson. The one thing I would do before sending out invitations is call your local children's hospital and/or charity of your choice and find out what they need and would like donated. Then maybe you could create a little insert for the invites that say,

"(daughter's name) would like to share her birthday with those in need. All gifts will be donated to (charity) on behalf of (daughter's name) family and friends. Here are a few suggestions I got from (charity). --And then list the items.

I am extremely touched by your generousity. If you would, please let me know where your items will be going so I can make a contribution for your daughter's birthday too.

Good luck to you and your little girl. I hope that in the many birthdays to come, your family will find this to be lasting tradition.

Jennifer

Hi There!

This is the same reason why I started www.mykidsregistry.com. On it you can use the evite (email invitation) and save money and paper. You can download graphics and create your own design. You may also select one of our charities in lieu of a gift on the MYKID GIVES page and create a wish list for friends and family to see. Lastly, we also offer party supplies and party suggestions.

I just emailed out my daughters evite and when people respond they look at my profile and get a chance to see what my daughter is wishing for with out being so up front.

We also allow you post pictures and videos for anyone who may have missed the party.

Hope it's helpful and have a great party!

I also wanted to say one last thing...I know the trend is to request a charitable donation and I think it is ABSOLUTELY fantastic. I am a mom of 2. My first being born sick I am EXTREMELY sensitive to causes and children in need, however...I believe in moderation and believe a child should be allowed to be children and presents on your birthday are a tradition and joy that comes with being a kid. It's a personal decision and for me I believe in moderation. A little bit here and a little bit there.

I like "showing" my child and discussing with him(my 4 yr) how lucky he is to have what he has (and it's not over the top too much...thank heaven for generous grandparents or else..:)). I

J.

Now a days kids seem to get everything. Whatever happened to the days where there was only a few things that you wanted and were happy with the one thing you really wanted? A couple years ago my family and my husbands family went completely overboard with buying our daughter everything under the sun. We had to make 2 special trips with our SUV in order to get all the x-mas presents home. That was the first and last year that that happened. Ever since then, we have made our daughter think of kids who are less fortunate than her. When we bring home all her gifts for birthdays, Easter, X-mas, etc., she is to take prior gifts and give them to the Salvation Army or the Thrifty Shopper. For example, if she got 4 gifts, she would replace 4 prior gifts. This has worked for us.

I love your idea. I have gone to parties where that was the suggestion as well. There is nothing wrong with showing more people some gerousity and humanity. It places a solid foundation for you and your little one and helps with programs that relay on public donations.

If someone does not like your idea than they do not need to say it or come to the party for that matter. Some could use a cue from you.

S. D.

If you don't mind keeping the gift, I would make it clear that gift cards & Bonds would be appreciated due to the overflow of Toys.
You can use these later when they are needed.

Or if you really had your heart set on donating, instead of doing it the way you were going to, why don't you go to children's hospital and get those cards that say you can donate, and put we are not accepting gifts but if you still feel the need to give, we will submit your donations for you to children's hospital.

hope this helped

I agree that you should not put gift suggestions for your daughter on a birthday invitation. But I definitely like the idea of donating to a childrens hospital. I personally would not be offended if it was suggested, in lieu of a gift for your daughter, to please bring a gift for the children's hospital. Maybe suggest that the gift be brought in a brown paper bag so that your daughter doesn't feel like there are gifts she won't get to open. I'm sure you will have plenty of fun decorations, cake, etc. I would also be very specific about what organization will be receiving the gifts. Maybe you could contact the hospital or organization and see what they really are in need of. Then you might be able to be specific on the invitation that way. Good luck!

My kids were invited to a child's party which said on the invite no presents thanks, only donations if wished to a local charity (and specified which one they had chosen). I don't think anyone was offended by that at all - I certainly didn't think it strange or inappropriate. It is a great idea if your child already has more toys etc than she needs!

While it makes TOTAL sense to re-gift or donate un-used presents...if the gifters ever found out, I think they would DEFINITELY mind. (I've had this same discussion with my husband - I was on your side.) If your toddler truly doesn't need any more toys, and she receives more toys...then pack up her OLD toys and donate those. In our family, we send around "Wish Lists" around birthdays, since we all understand that our kids are very fortunate and have MORE than what they need, in almost every respect. If you are worried about friends' gifts at a birthday party, either request "no gifts" or just let it be - some people truly enjoy shopping for the perfect little present for your little one!

Hi J.,

My suggestion is to write on the invitation "In Lieu of gifts, please bring a small toy to donate to the Childrens hosptial" or In Lieu of gifts please bring can goods to donate to the local food bank", etc...

Good Luck
Sarah

It is never "Rude" to ask someone to donate in your daughter's name! You can (and its appropriate) to acknowledge in the invite that all gifts received will be donated... or if they prefer to Donate in your daughter's name and present the certificate as her gift. Its perfectly understandable and so loving to do! Hope you and yours enjoy your Daughter's 2nd Birthday!!!

you could just put on the invitation no gifts please,,,,,, or even if you want -do a grab bag with instuctions that every child that brings a gift will also recieve one gift that way they also have a party favor and your child doesnt have to give all the toys away..,, you could even set a price limit on it.... tha way all the kids get the same value gift and some one is not going home with a bike and someone else a coloring book....
the donate a gift to the local ronald mcdonald house is a great idea also but how do explain the wrapped gifts to your child isnt she going to want to open them...

So many of us have this issue. For my son's b-day I asked people to give him a copy of one of their favorite books with a personnal inscrption in the front, so he will always know who it was from.

I also love the idea of giving to charity.

Definitely NOT offensive!

I would put on the invite: In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to (name your charity of choice)

My daughter once went to a Sweet 16 held on a yacht, The family was wealthy, and the birthday girl truly didn't need a thing... The invitation asked that "In Lieu of gifts, please make a donation to the American Cancer Society" (her mom had survived breast cancer) and even included a donation form and a prepaid envelope etc. It was a heartwarming and wonderful gesture.

Asking for specific gifts for your child is rude. But asking people to make a donation in her name,,, "Please Donate Whatever Gift you Choose to the XXXXX Children's Hospital in Honor of XXXX's 2nd Birthday" is a beautifully altruistic gesture.
Regifting to the charity is a touchy subject. I might choose a different gift to donate, as opposed to something that I specifically bought with sentiment attached for the birthday girl. But making your intentions known ahead of time is a great idea.

Hi J.,
I too feel that my kids have too many "things" and do not need more in my house! When my son turned 2 I put "no gifts please" on the invitation, however people still brought gifts. My second son is turning 1 in a few weeks and instead of putting "no gifts" I put "In lieu of gifts we are taking up a collection of your old toys/clothes/shoes/coats for the children's orphanage in Peru..." (my husband and I visit family in Peru once or twice a year for extended periods of time). We'll see how it turns out, but I think you should just say you are taking up a collection for a various charity. Parents are ALWAYS looking for a good cause and wanting to make more room in their homes! Hope this helps!
S.

J., You are not being rude at all! I commend you for your generosity to want to help other people. If your child truly doesn't need anything (as most American children don't), then why shouldn't that money be put to good use by giving it to the children's hospital. I always stress to my children that giving is much more satisfying that receiving and when you give unconditionally, it always comes back to you.

My 10 year old daughter decided that she wanted to use HER gift card to Toys R Us to buy a gift for a 5-year-old child whose party she was going to. She was going there to be a volunteer party helper with my older daughter who's 16. She picked out the toys and we spent the whole $40. After the party was over and I went to pick them up, the father of this 5 year old girl was writing a check. I thought he was writing it to my 16 year old because she babysits for them, but he wrote 2 checks each for $40!

People with giving hearts will always be rewarded in some way, as will you. If your family and friends don't agree and insist on giving a gift, ask them to write a check to you and then you can give it to the children's hospital or whatever charity you want. I would put a note on the invitation that says something to the effect that "instead of a gift, your daughter wants to help the kids at the children's hospital, so please give her gift to them".

Let me know how this works out. Good Luck!
Sue

J.,
The Donation route is awesome but you have to tell them that that is your plan of it's what you choose. Don't lead your guests to believe that they're buying for your daughter. At 2 years old, I see your point about not needing anything.
Why dont you try registering at Toy's R Us or somewhere else and tell them where you're registered at. Or put her sizes in the invites. That's not rude. People like to buy little outfits for precious little girls. Or say in lue of gifts, savings bond are also appreciated. If they were on a tight budget, they could give a gift of $50 for only $25. Believe me, back in the day it may have been rude to do this, but now days guests appreciate it. And you're not the only one whos thought of it so go with your gut. If by some chance, someone thinks its rude, o-well. You're being honest, how is that rude. I don't think you should give the gifts away though, but definitely give suggestions.

Check out the website www.echoage.com

I've been to lots of party's that ask for donations instead of gifts and think it is totally appropriate

Have Fun

C.

A friend of mine asked everyone to bring some non-perishable foods to the party instead of gifts, and then she donated them to a local food bank. We were all thrilled to do it and found her suggestion to be a wonderful change from all the over-gifting that goes on with our little ones.

It is incredibly generous of you to give gifts to a children's hospital. However, you may not want to write anything on the invitation and simply donate the gifts without anyone knowing.

I believe that it is perfectly acceptable to tell guests that in lieu of gifts you and your daughter would appreciate a contribution to a specific charity of your choice or their favorite charity. You can keep the acknowledgment cards and share them with your daughter as she becomes able to understand about giving.
When my children, all adults now, left home to start their own homes, I gave them all of the cards I had kept for contributions in their honor. They were very impressed and now my grandchildren make the same request when they have an opportunity to receive gifts.
A line, stating your wishes,on the bottom of the invitation will be fine.

M.

For my daughters 2nd birthday, I didn't want a bunch of toys either. Some how kids just have way too many and they don't play with a lot of them. I put on the invite, "If your purchasing clothing, please get size xxx." I didn't feel this was tacky or saying no presents at all. My goal was to hint she needed more clothing than toys. It worked, but she did get just as much toys as clothing. They were mainly outdoor toys, so not too bad.

i would stick with "no gifts, please." or "please donate to charity X in leu of a gift.

a friend of mine has parties where she asks for books only and they are donated to the local library. It has worked well, her daughter just turned ten and they are still doing it. The library labels the book as donated for Sam on her 10th birthday or in honor of her birthday.
S.

I think that is a wonderful idea! But know that there will be some people who insist on giving your daughter a present, and you should respect that (hopefully they will get one for your daughter, and one for you to donate).

Hi J.
Congrats on thinking of others.
These birthday parties have been done for years. In fact I worked in the volunteer dept of the special needs facility in our area before I was married.
Back then they were called "Charity Parties" and we were thrilled because those toys were new, and obviously in good condition. Sometimes we were invited to the party to pick up those gifts and talk about how they would serve the children. Any I went to the kids were 8 or 9, not 2. Because people often spend more because it is a respected charity, having a representative there gives credence to your word. Getting in touch with the charity may give you ideas to pass along if asked. I think my favorite was when we needed a special needs bike and this family volunteered to have a party. We put the two together and gave them a picture of the bike. The family decided not only to do a party for their child, but a card shower for the unnamed child, who was not from the area. Her child was about 10 and she set up a box for money and box for cards for child. She got some cards, but what was great was on the child's next birthday, the child who needed the bike got lots of cards. The bike was bought months before. The press was so favorable that the family got cards w/donations for the 3 weeks before the party by mail. I was there for the opening of all the cards, varified the amt., which also went into the press. Never did we dream this family would be so inventive with our suggestion. I am not sure I explained this well, but email me if you want to talk more.
Be sure your child does not think the gifts are hers.
One family covered a large box and the guests put their gifts in the box as they entered the party. I took them out before the party began, gave a short thank you and they continued with party, and I was out of there.
Enclosing envelop for charitable giving is simple, and when there is a reason like cancer in family, then donating there in their name is nice, and usually the family gets on that band wagon.
Again thanks for thinking of others. My suggestion is to contact charity of choice, and see what they say. If no positive response try another charity.
God bless you
K. SAHM married 38 years, 4 kids 37,32(made us grandparents in July), and twins 18(in college)

I think that is a very thoughtful idea. I read somewhere that a parent sent out invitaions and requested money for the child's birthday so this very same thing was done. Once the parents knew what this was for they thought also it was a very non selfish thing to do.

I know that for us and our friend did this too that you can tell people not to buy a present for her. I am throwing a 1 year birthday for my third son as I have done with the older two boys, and I am telling people that he doesn't need toys he has plenty at home from his older brothers and if they want to give him a card, for him to have when he grows up that is fine, other than that he doesn't need a present. He doesn't understand about presents anyways but having pictures taken and cake and having people there to make a fuss over him would be great. If people want to give her a present, don't discourage them. Let that be their decision if they want to even though you say that she doesn't need anything. Hope this helps and may you have Wisdom from Jesus if you ask and I will pray for all of you.

My son has had a few of these party's where we were asked to bring a book to donate or give money but the kids were older and had decided themselves they wanted to donate their gifts. I think u donate your old toys to a Charity or even to the hospital and if people ask then u maybe want to say she has lots of toys but a book would be great or even art supplies that always need replacing. Good luck

Why don't you put on the invitation that you are collecting toys for the local hospital and to please bring a toy to donate in lieu of a gift for your daughter. I attend a holiday party each year that has a similar request and I am always appreciative of the opportunity to donate to a needy cause without having to do the hauling of the stuff. HTH

hi J., i dont have a clue what is "appropriate", but i would think it kind of rude to ask for specific gifts on the invite, and i wouldn't tell people i'm going to give away their gifts either. why don't you just say "no gifts please, and if you must, please give a donation in our name to the ___ children's hospital" i think that would be nice. and also, if there is stuff that you really would like, i would think it would be ok to ask close family (not on the invite), since they will probably get something anyway. our house is overflowing with toys also, i asked my family to chip in for a membership to the children's museum, and its one of the best ideas i ever had! and it's kind of tradition now, they renew it for me every year, it's awesome. and i pay the difference to upgrade to a grandparent membership, so they come with us sometimes. perfect. happy birthday to your little girl :)

For my son's 1st Birthday we asked people to bring donations of diapers, wipes, formula & gift cards to shoprite in small increments ($10, $15) to donate to Safe Homes of Orange County. Everyone thought it was a great idea (except my husbands family...long story there! lol). And we were able to make a sizable donation to a good charity + not have a bunch of toys that he would never use. We plan on doing the same for X-Mas & future birthdays.

This is your child & therefore what you decide is best for her is what is best. You will never make all people happy & I am sure that some people thought it wasn't right of us to do that but...this is the lesson that we want to teach our son...that giving is better then receiving. Good luck!

Hi J., I think that it is a great idea and would mention in the invite that you will be doing a donation to whatever charity of toys and clothing instead of presents. We all have those certain family members that will critize it and buy something for your daughter anyway so I would include her size if they want to buy clothes. Also from someone who had kids in their family forever before becoming a mom I loved when people made wishlists at stores so I knew what to buy and I was buying them something they wanted. I don't find it rude at all and it is easier on the buyer. If I don't have a wishlist I normally do money or a gift card because I hate making returns and I don't want others to go through it because I bought something they don't want or need...especially with all the stores return policies because although everyone gets a gift receipt when buying something they never pass it along! I think your idea is great and you should do what you want. If you get critized just smile and say I am sorry you feel that way and just know inside that when your child opens that person's present you will probably be returning it.

You can write on the invitation: In lieu of gifts, please bring an item to be donated to such-and-such charity.
If people decide to give gifts anyway, here is a trick that one of my friends uses. She leaves some of the toys that her child received in their boxes and then puts them in the closet as soon as the party is over so her son doesn't even miss them. Then she saves them to give as gifts for other childrens' birthdays or wraps them up for her son for Christmas. Half the time when kids unwrap a gift they just toss it aside to unwrap the next one so up until about 4 or so, most kids won't remember that they already received it and won't know the difference. This way you are not increasing the amount of stuff they accumulate. Kids usually have a few favorite toys that they play with all the time and the rest just sit around anyway.
Another thing you can do is go through her toys and donate some of them that are too young for her or that she does not play with anymore to make room for new ones. I think everyone understands that you have limited space and don't want to spoil your daughter, so most people should be fine with not getting her a gift. But it's still a good idea for her to get a few things to celebrate her special day- maybe from Grandma or other close relatives.

Hi,
Being a Mom of 2 toys and clothes galore(esp..That i make girls clothes) Our children need to have a future..on the invite..without sounding harsh..say you daughter has everything she needs thank g~d! help with her future..savings bonds..never hurts...helps both you and her!

I felt the same way... maybe in the invite you couls say, "We feel so fortunate, instead of a gift a donation to "whatever charity" would be greatly appreciated.

People might get upset if they went out of the way to get someting special for your child and then you donated it. Or you could put on the invite- you could say to bring an unwrapped gift to be donated to toys for tots...

I love your idea about having your guests donating their gifts to the local children's hospital....GO FOR IT!

What I do is let my child open the presents, then we play with the ones he likes and then I just donate the rest or save stuff I think he'll like in the future. It is a nice compromise that works for now. I know when he's older and wiser I will need to figure something else out. Good luck!

I think that is a wonderful idea!!!

Around the time of my oldest daughter's 6th birthday, she asked that she have a party but that all donations rather then gifts go to St Jude's Children's Hospital. Although your child is not the one initiating this, I think that this is a wonderful idea because truthfully our house is over run with toys from our 4 & 10 year old girls. If anyone is offended, then they don't have to bring a gift. One idea you may consider would be contacting the hospital to see what the age range is so the presents would be age appropriate. Good luck!

I don't think it's rude at all, and it's a great idea. I've been to parties where the invitation says, "please bring a small toy to be donated to the local hospital." If you really don't want gifts for your daughter, you might want to say "in lieu of gifts, please bring a small toy..." otherwise, people will probably bring a toy to be donated, AND a birthday gift. Of course some will do that no matter what the invite says. Happy early birthday to your daughter!

Hi J.,

I think it is such a great idea! I think you should write on your invitation that you are planning on donating these gifts to your local children's hospital. Maybe you can make a list of things on the invitation that are suitable for the donation. I think people would appreciate that. I know I would.

Good luck!

Let us know how it goes!

My son has a friend whose mom always asks for cash donations to one particular foundation. Each year she chooses a different one that might even be close to her heart due to a family illness. Hope you found a great idea out of all the ones I am sure were given.

~~Massage is not a luxury...It is the health advantage you deserve~~

I would not say anything about gift giving, especially not on the invitation, if anything just verbally tell people they do not need to give a gift, otherwise - let people give what they want and then decide what to do with it after. Without letting people know you could then return the gifts for things your daughter may need in the future or use the credit for gifts you may have to give in the future, or donate whatever you can't return.

No, I think that is a wonderful thing to do. You should be clear on the invite as to what you plan to do with the gifts so that no one's feelings are hurt that they went to a lot of trouble to get something specifically for your daughter. Maybe you could contact the hospital, see what it is they most want or need and then include that on the invite. Good luck!

well, i would suggest against it. while it is a nice idea, people, esp if its family, would probaly enjoy picking out the gifts for her. of course, you can always ask for clothes from those close to you(basically anyone you talk on the phone with on a regular basis, they will probaly ask anyway), and if you think you already have too many clothes, just ask for next years size. or even bonds from family is something useful that i ask for at birthdays since my daughter's is right after christmas. for those you dont well, just take what they give you. if you dont know them well enough to ask for something you need, then you certainly dont know them well enough to tell them the presents will be given away.

now if you dont see them at your house, there is nothing saying what you do with the gifts after- donate, regift, save for christmas, return to the store, ect.

an appropriate thing to do, also could be seen as a hint, is to put her size for clothing and shoes on the invitation. its not telling them what to do, but planting a seed. they may just feel comfortable giving clothes after you mention it. some people feel like they need to get toys, but it might help. also, suggest the toys like "(name) loves the little mermaid, books(can never have too many), and coloring(think ahead as far as what she may end up doing in the next year). many people will feel more comfortable that you helped a little without being pushy by still giving them the choice.

and these people are close to you so i wouldnt worry too much. as for aquaintances, if they judge that much, who needs them.

fyi, if its a larger party i still wouldnt have her open the presents, so you wont have a problem deciding what you want to do with them, for this year at least. good luck!!!!