Gift or No?

Updated on August 15, 2014
M.D. asks from Napa, CA
13 answers

A friend of mine just sent out a wedding announcement. They were married in a small private ceremony. The announced that "Sometime in the following years they will host a vow renewal and reception for friends and family to attend."

My friend has been my mother's helper, babysitter, housesitter, and help me move person (which has happened three times in the last three years). Her family lived down the street from the first house we bought - she was around 10 when we moved in (20 years ago). She is now a teacher, but lives on sub jobs and a restaurant job. He is a disabled veteran who doesn't have a job right now.

At the very least, I want to give them a bottle of champagne and a proper gift later but it sounds like they don't plan on holding anything big any time soon. Their current house is TINY! What to do?

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I agree with the cash since they don't seem to have much money.
How about a bottle of champagne & a nice card with a little bit of money
you can afford to give?

6 moms found this helpful

More Answers

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Bottle of bubbly and a gift card sounds nice!

7 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I think a gift would be nice, even if it is just a gift card for a nice meal or bottle of wine :)

6 moms found this helpful
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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

Ca$h will fit nicely.

6 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I have never had any one not happy with cash.

6 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Absolutely! A gift can never be wrong in my book. Maybe some cash would be appropriate here? She has been an important part of your life, so I would do it.

I can also tell you that disabled vets typically have a lot more than the physical ailments going on. So some more for them to do something fun (a show, dinner, something) would go a long way.

Very thoughtful of you!

6 moms found this helpful
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P.K.

answers from New York on

I would give her a very generous monetary gift!!! This is not someone you just met.

5 moms found this helpful
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I.O.

answers from McAllen on

If you want to give somebody a gift, there is no need for any formal reason.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Portland on

She is/has been an important part of your life. Yes, definitely give them a gift.

There are times etiquette requires a gift. I know of no time a gift isn't appropriate when given out of respect.

4 moms found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

She sounds like someone that has been a big part of your life for a long time. You should get her a gift. Since you don't really know what they need or have space for, a gift card would be perfect. Get it for a department store or a place like Bed Bath and Beyond where they can pick out items for their home. Have you checked weddingchannel.com to see if they are registered anywhere?

4 moms found this helpful
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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Find out if they are champagne drinkers and if so, why not. I don't drink Champagne and my husband doesn't drink at all, so if it were given to me, it would be a waste.

Otherwise a gift card would be nice.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

People in tiny houses (like me) appreciate "consumable" gifts, like a gift basket of treats or maybe a themed meal (pasta, sauce, bread sticks, etc.). Flowers are also good; they can be enjoyed then thrown away when they wither away.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Chicago on

I have to second Mom2KCK's idea of a gift of a night out, as the husband is able.

Movie ticket gift cards, a favorite restaurant gift card - making sure the cards are enough to cover the whole evening -- movie & concessions, enough for appetizer, dinner, dessert and a couple adult beverages. It's frustrating for someone who is closely watching their expenses to get a gift card and realize to use it they have to shell out their own money. Sometimes doesn't feel like much of a gift when you have to pay to use it! :)

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