I'm having a dear Abby moment and need some advice. We have friends who gave us a gaming table for Christmas one year. We're finding that we're not using it and it is going to waste. Before trying to get rid of it, I thought it might be nice to offer it back to them since they have kids that could benefit from it. Hubby says that it's ours and we can do whatever we want with it and it would be rude to give it back. I just don't want the embarassment of them wanting to play it when they come over and we have to say we gave it away.
What are the thoughts on this? Would it be an insult to offer their gift to them?
I would also offer it back to them. One reason I feel this is the right thing is in the past I had a neighbor mentioned how they had given some friends a really nice croquet set, but the friends never played. She said that if they're weren't going to use the set, she wished they would just give it back to them. If they're real friends, they won't be insulted, but will appreciate the consideration.
I can't really speak for your friends bc obviously I don't know them, but I think most people would be insulted. But don't feel guilty about getting rid of it another way. If you don't use it, then there is no reason to keep it around cluttering up your space. Good Luck with this one!
It was a gift, so it's yours and your hubby is right. At the same time, I'd probably just keep it because I'd hate to explain to them what happened to it in case they were insulted.
I would offer the table back to them but tell them We really dont use it and I thought maybe since your kids like it you would get better use out of it then us. Thats the best way to do it.
Personally, I would be quite offended if someone tried to give back a gift. Sell it and move on. No need to say anything.
I would probably just keep it as that would be easier than explaining its absence. If it was a gift, it would be rude to offer it back to them. Just my 2 cents but I am no etiquette expert.
I agree with others that your friend may be insulted if you offer it back. Instead why not talk to your friend and let them know that it's just going to waste and you are thinking about giving it away then ask if they mind. If you are good friends you should be able to have this type of conversation, and it would be courteous to at least let them know, in case like you said they want to come over and play.
Good luck!
Dear J.:
Personally, I would not offer it back. It sounds like it was not Christmas 2007 but earlier, so if they say anything, you could tell them you used it for a bit but then had to replace it with a different piece of furniture (you can quote the space, the function, the color match, or leave the reason uncommented). That way it sounds like you got your use out of their gift, to whichever extent that is true.
If you offer it back, it might feel like a rejection. If you sell the table and buy something else, you can even honestly say that their present 'lives on' in a different piece now, but I would only comment if they ask. Chances are they won't.
Regards,
W.
(my 2 cents...)
I agree w/Katherine.
I would be REALLY offended if someone offered a gift back to me that I had given them. Like anything else in your house that you don't use, just get rid of it. It sounds like it is something too big to keep around if you are not even using it.
Do not give back the gift. Don't say you gave it away either. Just don't say anything! If they ask where it is say, "oh i loved that table so much" we used it until we out grew it. We chose to give it to a more needy family. They loved it. We have so many good memeories of it. Thank you! :) Smile and move onto the next subject. If her feelings are hurt, tell her you enjoyed it and thank her again for understanding.
