We are blending a family and my step daughters come over on Thursday nights and some times they wait til Friday to come over. When it comes to bed time, they think they all need to sleep together in the same room and other times they all sleep in their beds. It takes up to 2 hours to get them all sleeping. The 7 yr old girl has a rough time, but she has been spoiled her whole life, up until I came into the family. They are all full of energy. How can we get them settled for bed w/o taking up so much of our time alone? The only time my husband and I get is when the kids are in bed sleeping.
Routine! However, maybe telling them that they will not be permitted to sleep in the same room if they do not co-operate will motivate them a bit. But I really think that a strick routine followed consistently will be the best rememdy! Good Luck and Congrats on the blended family!
Hi L.,
I come from a large family and the way my mom did it was there was a rule. Anyone outside their bedroom after 8p.m. would not be allowed something - something that hurt, like they'd have to go sleep on the floor in her bedroom type stuff yuck, we made sure we had our water, snacks or whatever in the bedroom by 8p.m. VHS movies etc when we where older.
The magic though, will ONLY come if the rule is harshly enforced if they brake the rule.... Sounds like most of them are old enough to understand too, except the baby obviously.
Your family sounds like ours! =) I have 3 boys from a previous marriage (ages 11,9,and 9), my husband has 2 girls from a previous marriage (ages 12 and 9), and we have one 15 month old son together. I totally understand the chaos you experience! LOL! The first night the kids are all together here is usually the craziest because they're so excited to see each other. We live in a 3 bedroom home, and I never put all of the kids in the same room to sleep. It's like a big party when they do. The baby is always in our bedroom, and I usually put the girls in one room and the boys in the other... but sometimes let the little ones sleep together (our 9 yr olds) and the older 2 sleep together. (separate beds of course) About an hour before I want them to try to go to sleep, I let them get in their beds and watch television quietly. Then it's time to turn it off and go to sleep. This time lets them unwind and get all of their bedtime wigglies, giggles, and talking out of their system. (along with the drinks and potty breaks before bed) If they do not behave and get too wild up there during tv time, then the tv is turned off and they have to go right to sleep. Consistency is the key, and they'll know you mean business. I'm sure you know that you have to be consistant when you have this many children, or they'll run all over you! LOL! I still have to tell them to quiet down of course, I'm sure I'll always have to do that to an extent... but we definitely have a pretty decent routine going.
Good luck Supermom!!! =)
I have a bunch of kids just because I do and this is how we had to work it. We had to stagger bed time. If we didn't there would be a bottle neck in the hallway and they would keep each other awake. The older younger ones go to bed at 8:30, then the older ones go to bed at 9:00 and 9:15. That means by the time some go to bed others are already there and have had a chance to either go to sleep or at least quiet down. The younger bathe at night and the older shower in the morning so nobody is in the bathroom or in the hallways after the little ones are down. It is just off to bed. If any of them cause disruption or break routine or (GOD FORBID) wake up the baby then they go to bed earlier than the earliest bedtime the next night in order to avoid a repeat of the situation. It doesn't take too many 8:00 bedtimes to get the picture.
We go through the same thing every night. My husband tried this last night and it seemed to have worked. They were allowed to take a toy into bed. My daughter picked her computer, and my son picked 2 cars. They were allowed to play as long as they didnt get out of bed and were quiet. He said they stayed and played and when they got tired, went to sleep. We did not have all of the I have to pee, Im thirsty etc. that we usually have. My step mom suggested they read books by a night light. That will make their eyes tired and they will fall asleep faster. Try some sort of comprimise and things will work out easier and less stressful for you. However if their bedtime is say 7 and they are still awake at 8 I would take everything away. Try rewards charts to see who can get ready for bed the fastest too.
Good luck
S.
Adding to what Shannon said, MAKE the older children read for a half-hour before bed, and read to the younger ones that long as well. It gets them to calm down their bodies and do something educational.
This might take a few weeks (assuming you have them on the weekends), but each evening try to institute a time when you discuss what rewards they will get for cooperating with pre-bedtime and bedtime routines (like getting to go to a toy store and have 10 bucks to spend, getting to go to the movies). Better yet, make some sort of chart/visual where you can easily remove a name/reward as necessary, and let them write/draw it. As soon as the rewards are established, put your visual in a convenient place, and as soon as they don't cooperate, escort them to the visual and remove their part so such a manner that they know they've messed up. They will cry and have a fit, it will be a pain for your head and ears, you and your husband might have to be separate for a few weekends (rotating between taking the cooperative children out and keeping those who did not cooperate in AND not rewarded) but do not reward them for behavior you do not want. And make sure the removal of the reward is truly a punishment; what will affect one child will not affect another (for example, sending me to my room and not letting me go play with friends was a fate worse than death for me, but my sister preferred to play in her room - though removing the toys might have helped).
My biggest words of wisdom...have a routine and stick too it. No matter what they try and say or manipulate you into doing, don't do it! They need sleep and if it takes that long, start even earlier until they get used to the routine.
