Getting Rid of the Pacifier

There was a big thread on this about a year back with tons of responses. Try searching the requests and see as you may have more luck that way. My son was actually 4 when he gave it up. Like your daughter, he only used it at bedtime at night. The dentist told me as long as he gave it up before his premanent teeth came in he was fine. It had already moved his baby teeth around a tad, so I figured it didn't hurt him having it that long just at bed. No one else knew about it, and it comforted him. Plus, I wasn't sure about how to explain that his new baby brother could use them and he couldn't. Anyway, someone asked the preschool teacher to talk about how big kids don't use pacifiers at school. So, one day she talked to the class about it and my son came home and told me he didn't want to use his pacifier anymore. Well, I took advantage of it and went to the store right away. We took his favorite bedtime stuffed animal and I cut open the seems in the bear's back and we put his pacifiers in there. Then, I restiched his bear up and he was good as new. That way, he still had his precious pacifiers, but he couldn't put them in his mouth. I have heard others go to Build a Bear in the mall and build a new friend and put the pacifiers in there. My son loves his bear and has never "hurt his bear" by trying to take out his pacifiers. He doesn't sleep with him all the time anymore, but it worked out great. Then I explained that his brother is a baby and that is why he can use them. So, if your daughter doesn't go to preschool yet, maybe talk to other moms in a playgroup or maybe a class you are in or something about talking about it one day. Talk about how only babies use pacifiers, and this may help. I wouldn't push it too hard, because one day she will just decide she doesn't want it anymore. Many friends of mine had that happen around 2-3. For me, it took longer. But, that was ok since he hadn't lost any baby teeth yet.

My daughter's dentist told us the pacifier was causing "bite" problems for my daughter. So, I was motivated to get her to quit right away.

Since, she was really interested in babies, I told her that a baby needed the pacifiers. We put them in a box and (pretended) mailed it. For that act of generosity, the fairy gave her a special doll just for her crib. I told her that if she was sad about the pacifier, that she could hug the doll. And, I just made the whole thing as positive as possible and praised her over and over. The first night, she wanted to give back the doll for her old pacifiers, we said no.

I think that if you do it, you have to go cold turkey and not give in, or it is confusing to the child.

If you are not really in a hurry, you could prick the pacifier so it's not as enjoyable and hope she weans herself from it.

My daughter was a pacifire baby. At first I would occupy her from the use of the pacifire as much as possible. I would not give it to her-she would have to put it in her own mouth, and then at about 15 months it was time. I gathered up all the pacies and cut the tips of the nipples off. WHen she would want one she would look at it and I would say it is yucky-throw it away-she would. It worked!! It is much easier to wean infants than toddlers. You may want to take it from your infant soon too!! I have always been told to cold turkey it. That is not really a good thing-especially when the pacifire is used for soothing as well as security. THink of it as an emotional process for the children. Good luck!!

What Sue said about the pacifier fairy. Our son put it in a basket, and we told him it would go to a baby in another part of the world that didn't have one. He got some small toys in return. He was pretty ok with it. He asked about it a few times, but when we reminded him about the fairy, he said "Oh, right. The baby has it now," and was ok.

Good luck.

Peace,
Richard

Hi! I am the mom of three daughters. Pacifiers have been a big deal in their upbringing, so I offer a different perspective:

My oldest daughter really used her pacifier to comfort herself and fall asleep. I talked to her dentist and he said that a pacifier really doesn't cause dental problems until after age five when the mouth is less flexible and more permanently formed. SO: I let her keep it.

I was embarrassed and worried (because she was my first child and I was insecure) but she needed it. In my family, my dad and grandfathers were seriously addicted smokers and that hand/mouth/comfort need made a big impression on me.

When she was four and a half and my younger daughter was 18 months old, I made both of them give it up. My older daughter was ready and it truly was no problem. I let my younger daughter cry it out (after the gentle talks, reminders of other comfort items, etc.). I really wanted my younger daughter to give it up earlier, "when it was easier," like my pediatrician said.

My older daughter is fine. Over time, my younger daughter has chewed her nails and the skin around them to the point I had to use antibiotic cream and bandaids to help them heal. She is five and recently seemed to finally outgrow the habit. She definately also truly used that pacifier for comfort at night, and I feel I took it away too soon.

Now my youngest daughter is two and I have no intention of taking away the pacifier until she is old enough to truly understand other ways to comfort herself -- and is ready to be a big girl.

So do what is best for your child and don't be afraid if it seems babyish. I am a traditional, well-educated mom who reads all of the childcare books. Armed with plenty of information, I followed my instincts about my oldest child's individual needs, and it worked out. I wish I had done the same thing for my second daughter!

Good luck! The whole pacifier thing can be stressful, but your child will be over the whole thing by kindergarten either way -- so it IS temporary!

my son didn't use one but my cousins daughter did. She cut the ends off for one child. The other child she had, they together hung the pacifiers in a tree for the pacifier fairy to take (or in a basket in a tree) and since the child made the decision it seemed to work fine
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both my kids used pacifiers and their doctor told me that i should take them away as soon as possible. the sooner the better when they had teeth. i did it cold turkey after trying a few different methods. they cried for it for a while but then they got over it and are well adjusted toddlers!! good luck