P.P.
There's more than one way to satisfy sexual frustration without intercourse. Trust me; I went through 2 high-risk pregnancies and was on bed rest from the 3rd month through delivery and wasn't able to have sex for 6 months afterward.
Forgive this getting a bit detailed but there is always oral sex, simple touch and response, clitoral stimulation, and etc... without penetration. This does have a lot to do with infection and with safe recovery. It is also important not to become pregnant too soon after a D&C or you risk having a miscarriage and/or even losing the ability to have children altogether.
The desire doesn't go away but both of you need to consider your physical health before your sexual health as it relates to intercourse. Take it slow, don't deviate from the plan, and if you MUST relieve the tension, take it slow and go about things differently where it doesn't end up in sexual intercourse. Think of how much better the sex will be when you are healthy again. Oral and clitoral stimulation and even breast stimulation can be just as gratifying as sexual intercourse. It is also a great way to get to know your spouse all over again.
Also, FYI, hubby and I had to take a hiatus for months after he had to undergo a quadruple bypass after suffering 2 heart attacks and a stroke in January of 09. He couldn't afford his heart rate going through the roof or risk another heart attack. The stop and go and slow and go keeping his heart rate down through these methods helped him feel more like a man after his heart & chest healed enough to take the intensity even the mild intensity that I would allow. I refused full sexual intercourse for that reason. I could control his heart and breathing by paying special attention to his response, his breathing, and his heart rate.
In the end, it's worth it to remain healthy. At least that way you can enjoy sex even more when your body heals. It sounds like a lot of sacrifice but it's worth it when you get to the other side.
BTW, most doctor's don't recommend becoming pregnant after a D&C for at least a year to give the body time to heal so I would definitely wait. It can be heart-breaking and cause major depression when going through a high risk pregnancy after something like this occurs especially if complications causes a miscarriage. It sort of puts you back beyond square one. It's more like negative square 20. Take your time and all will work out. You have plenty of time for intercourse and for babies. Do it the healthy way for your own well-being - both of your well-beings. ------ coming from someone with a bit more than a little experience in this area or rather the area of having to abstain from sex for extended periods of time for health reasons. You'll be glad you waited afterward. The risks simply aren't worth the bad things that can happen if you don't take doctor's advice. After all, what are you paying him for anyhow if not to listen to his advice from extensive medical education?
*** Addendum:
There has been question as to why my doctors all told us to we would have to wait a year. This was common among these particular practitioners (OB/GYN specialists) because they specialized in high-risk pregnancies. The year waiting period is not ONLY because of the infection risks or risk of another miscarriage although it is more likely to occur if one gets pregnant before a year passes between a miscarriage and getting pregnant again. It also has to do with a woman's state of mind - psychological healing. A miscarriage can truly mess with a woman's mind. It can cause toxemia in the next pregnancy as well as causing post-partum depression, which can and in the case of post-partum depression after the birth of a child where a miscarriage occurred upon earlier attempts, there is always the possibility of requiring in-house treatment, meaning spending time in a facility that specializes in the psychological healing from post-partum depression. Without it, mothers can ultimately become a danger to themselves as well as to their babies. That risk is even higher in women who are older that are attempting to get pregnant then suffers a miscarriage, manages to become pregnant again only it is too soon afterward then the woman suffers post-partum depression.
My birth mother actually suffered full nervous breakdown upon the loss of the brother she had between myself and my youngest brother. He was the only child she carried to term yet he died within a short time following his birth because his body was not strong enough, esp his heart and lungs. My little brother and I were both premature. I was a little over 7 months gestation and my youngest brother was almost 8 months gestation; however, with me she not only came close to losing my life, she nearly lost her own so when she lost the son following me, it destroyed her psychologically. She was on pins and needles throughout the pregnancy with my youngest brother and ultimately, I ended up raising him as if he were my son vs her son. His children are more like my grandchildren. Even worse, we have little to no contact with either our birth mother and no contact at all with our birth father. Even when we both lived at home, I was responsible for all of my youngest brother's care including cooking his meals, washing his clothes, dressing him, getting him bathed, helping with homework, and working to cover the expenses of play clothes, school clothes, school supplies, and even lunch money. Our mother was an absent parent despite living in the same house. She worked double shifts just to keep from being at home. Even when she WAS home, she wasn't there - not for us anyhow.
I gained guardianship over my brother before he was a teenager then raised him with my oldest daughter as if they were siblings. I was the one who took the time to find out he had dyslexia and went about finding a specialist to come into the schools (elementary, middle, high) to teach him how to cope with his learning disability. My 2nd & current husband of 20+ years and I both knew I would never get my brother into school so he took him under his wing and taught him the underground telecommunications trade, which he still works in today and raises his family on his income. He is an excellent father. He has almost enough kids for a baseball team but he loves each and every one of them. His wife has 2 boys and a girl to add to their 3 boys and a girl, which totals 7 kids altogether although his wife shares custody of her daughter with her ex-husband and his wife; however, you would not know that any child did not belong to both of them if you didn't know before you saw them together because they are literally one big happy family. They struggle financially and I know it will become much harder as the kids get older but so far, they do well. The kids are clean, well-behaved, and loved. What more could any child ask for in a childhood?
But again, please take into consideration the possibility of post-partum depression when considering attempting to become pregnant so soon after a miscarriage. Take into consideration more than one's physical health but also a woman's psychological health when attempting to become pregnant so soon after a miscarriage. It may not sound as if it is important but trust me, it is important. It is very important. not only do you want to have a healthy child but as a mother, it is equally if not more important that the mother be healthy psychologically in order to make the child's childhood years something they can look back on with love and caring rather than with disdain and wonder as to why they were even born. The question as to why our parents even wanted to get pregnant is a question both my youngest brother and I have asked ourselves many times over the years and we are not spring chickens anymore; however, the question is always in our mind and it is something we work extra hard to make sure our children never have to wonder for themselves when they are grown.
I had my oldest brother, my oldest daughter, and even myself in therapy for a number of years to come to terms with various issues in our lives. My oldest was in therapy for ADD but it also helped her deal with the fact that her birth father walked out on us when she was only 10 mos old for his mistress then never wanted anything to do with her afterward. She put those feelings out of her head years ago though because she has a dad and he loves her with every fiber of his being just as much as he does the child we had together. MOF, she has our last name and my husband IS her dad in every way except genetics. Only close friends and family know she is not his biological child. Everyone else believes she is his biological daughter and that's how she wants it so we made it happen. It wasn't as if her birth father was chomping at the bit to be in her life. He got out and never came back, which overall, was for the best for her because she got a wonderful dad, a loving and caring dad who has been there for her all her life through the good and the bad. She got something I never got and that's okay. I'm actually grateful.
