Getting Our Toddler Out of Our Bed! Help!

I'm a big fan of varying versions of crying it out. We've tried several, as DS is now 2. And I have to say, it works every single time. So there's something to be said for that.

DS got into the habit of waking up and wanting his paci in the middle of the night. We turned into trained circus seals because it was just easier to go in for 30 seconds and pop it in his mouth, than to go the other route. But once we reached the point where he was waking up 3+ times/night, I hit my breaking point.

At 17 mos, we did CIO again. We had only 1 hard night, and he cried for 20 minutes (we watched him on the video monitor). He was fine, and it KILLED us to do that to him, but our sanity was in question. That was all we had to do to get our point across. We have had no issues since.

So, I know it's hard, but it usually works immediately. If you can battle through the crying episode, you'll be thankful in the end.

I'm experimenting with this myself. The main motivation is that my 2 yr old daughter doesn't wear diapers at night but occasionally pees the bed. I'd rather she stay in her bed because it's less work to clean up. Right now I've been either moving her back to her bed during the night or laying with her in the toddler bed until she goes back to sleep. And since the issue is wetting the bed, if she really has problems staying in her bed (waking up every hour), I don't let her in the bed after a certain time unless she goes potty.

K.-

Don't beat yourself up. We'll all give our opinions and our advice, but we all have flaws as parents, and this is one of mine as well.

I've always been a working mom with a history of being a poor sleeper. When our first was born, I was driving between 150-200 miles each day in a rural sales territory and needed the sleep desperately. When our daughter was born, I was traveling almost as much but was diagnosed with cancer before she turned 3 months. I kept her in bed with us for my own comfort as well as being able to tend to her needs as an infant. She stayed there for a full year.

She's a great sleeper now that she's accustomed to it, but her brother (almost 4) has always been an awful sleeper and still rarely stays in his own room. We're currently bribing him to try to change that, but our neighbor's house catching fire last night didn't help (thank goodness the family is safe and the house is OK).

I personally believe a lot of parenting is about doing what works best for you (of course, there are exceptions). If this works, don't worry about what other people think. I couldn't do the cry it out method personally. I couldn't lose a night's sleep and function the next day at work on the road, so it was easier to do what you're doing.

Good luck! If we learn anything as parents, it's that as soon as we think we have something down, they change, and we're back to where we started.

I would make a very special bed on the floor next to your bed with a special pillow/stuffed animal/favorite blanket, etc...

Make a big deal about your tummy growing, like him, getting so big that it will need lots of space in your own bed. And at the very end, even Daddy had to sleep elsewhere (does not have to be the truth here). Make it believable for him enough to convince him of what a big boy is he for helping you all sleep better.

Maybe the cries of the newborn will send him back to his room, maybe not. With you gone and your parents tending to him, he might just stay in his own crib for security and comfort overnight without any issues.

If you all are happy, why change it? My own children slept on our bedroom floor and saw me caring for their newborn sister. My son is now very sweet and caring to babies. His behavior is a direct result of being exposed, being in the same room and observing.

Be firm about him staying in his crib, no more mommy and daddy bed, but do not just let him cry endlessly. I have always used the five minute rule when mine where little. I would let them cry for 5 minutes, and if they had not calmed on their own I would go in to comfort them. I would not pick him up just rub his back and reassure him that you are near by for him, but that he must sleep in his own bed. Once he is calm leave again. If he starts to cry you can repeat in another 5 minutes. This way he knows you are there and you care, but he is also learning what is expected of him and that this change is not something he is going to be able to control or undo with tears. It may take a few nights of going in several times, but in the end he will get it.

Bad habits, even well intended, are hard to break.
This happened to my best friend. I told her to close her door and let her son cry...she did. It was heart breaking and they were both exhausted because he was crying and knocking out the door for hours...but after a few nights on the cold floor he went back to bed and has never done that again. Of course she also explained to him why they were doing this. Seems like yours is a little younger so the scenario will be different, but the reality of it is that, with your new baby coming you can't postpone. If you do this while your new baby is born he might unconsciously associate your behavior to the arrival of the baby and become jealous.
Hope that helps.
Good luck