Getting Older Kids off the Pacifier

Updated on March 17, 2009
U.A. asks from Arlington, TX
13 answers

My 4 and 3 year old kids still use a pacifier, especially at night. (I know this is unusual and have already heard it all as far as the negativity goes).

My question is for those moms who also had older kids with pacifiers. Should we go cold turkey or try the limiting (just for bedtime or just for car rides, etc) ?

We've been talking about it and reading books on giving up pacifiers. And yes I do feel nervous about taking away something that they really love (please be kind!). Thanks.

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K.G.

answers from Dallas on

if you celebrate Easter maybe the easter bunny can take them (left out for him) in exchange for a neat basket of goodies... in the mean time gradually take them off of it for nightbedtime ONLY. as you get closer to easter reallt play it up.... If you don't celebrate Easter then just pick a time when the PACIFAIRY can come and take them

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M.W.

answers from Dallas on

My eldest had her paci until she was almost 4 (perhaps even up to the aqe of four). My husband had enough of late-night paci hunts & came up with an awesome idea for getting her off of it. He made something like an advent calendar. Each night that Madison went to bed without a paci she was allowed, the following morning, to remove one window of the chart. This revealed part of a picture. When all windows were removed, a picture of Scooby Doo was revealed & Madison got to go to the toy store for a super special big girl prize.

Doing it this way made the choice Madison's; it was in her hands. If she wanted to have the paci, fine. If not, she was closer to getting her prize. There were never any tears, never any fights, and she was finished with the paci way before the windows were all opened.

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G.A.

answers from Tyler on

Although I took my sons away earlier than you, I am sure the process would work for you too. I started letting him have it only at bedtime/naptime. If he wanted it during the day, he had to go lay in his bed with it. I did that for about 2 weeks, letting him get used to the idea. Then one night they were all gone...he was a little restless for the first few nights, but after about three nights he slept fine. Actually I think he slept better, because he wasn't always waking up looking for it.

Good luck to you, I hope it is an easy transition.

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J.O.

answers from Dallas on

We limited it by making a only in the house or car rule. And then when his dentist decided it was time to work at getting it away altogether, this what we did:

We started with poking a hole in the paci. This flattened it when he would suck on it. That led to his chewing on them and creating more holes. He got annoyed with them and wouldn't suck on them, just put them on the shelf above his bed. When he asked for new ones, we told him that they don't make them for 4 year olds. (He was 2 days away from his fourth birthday.) He hasn't had one in weeks and seems fine with it.

This is a kid who had one almost constantly and has a baby sister that uses a paci. Never in my wildest dreams did I think it would be this easy, but I do think that the fact that it happened pretty much on his terms -- nothing forced -- made it that easy.

Good luck to you!!

Y.I.

answers from Dallas on

This is the way a friend of mine did it. She cut a tiny piece off of the end of it every few days until there was none left to suck on and that was the end of it.
L.

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S.J.

answers from Dallas on

We also had the Paci nightmares you are going through. We limited our daughter who was a little over two years old at the time to bedtime and naps only. We moved back from Wyoming and decided after the road trip we were going to ditch the paci. There is so many things you can try, since they are older you can have them tie them to a balloon and tell them they are sending them to a baby or something. On nanny 911 I seen them have the kids put all of them in a jar and do the gifting stuff for leaving them in it. Also I have heard of people telling there children to put it under the pillow kinda like the tooth fairy. Good luck, I feel your pain..

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K.C.

answers from Dallas on

My first child was the only pacifier child I had. He had it until he was almost 4. I did the cut the end off method - but in one day. He put it down to go play and I snipped the nub off. He came back later and tried to suck on it - told me it was broke and to fix it. I told him I couldn't. He put it down and went back to playing. While he was gone I cut more off. He came back again and tried to suck on what was left by holding it with his teeth. Each time he put it down I would cut a little more off til wasn't really anything left. He went to bed that night with no pacifier and that was the end of it. I DO NOT believe in the hot sauce in a child's mouth. I think that is a very cruel to do to a young child to have that burning in their mouth. It's painful and just plain MEAN! Please don't do it that way!!

We weren't one of those households that had more than one pacifier at a time. We didn't keep 'em everywhere so it was very easy to say one was broken and didn't have any more. This is a more honest way to break the pacifier habit without making up "fairies" or "pretending" to forget it.

Good luck and remember.... he won't go to college with a pacifier! :)

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

My son is 2yrs, 4months old and we've got it down to just bedtime/naptimes, though he occassionally protests when he's feeling under the weather. I have a 5 year old sister and the way they broke the habit with her was on her 3rd birthday (or pick a landmark day of your own) the paci-fairy came. She took all the baby pacis out of the house, and replaced them with a "big girl" toy. Dad says that way THEY weren't the bad guys, and there was no way to get the pacis back, but there was a present for marking the day that she grew up. That's probably what will end up happening for our son.
I think the suggestion for painting it with no bite is interesting.....I bet that would work! Years ago, my dog kept eating his cast off and after getting tired of taking him back to the vet for a new one every day, we finally just had the vet splint it, and I sprinkled LA Hotsauce on it...he never touched it or bothered it again, and his broken leg healed. (OBVIOUSLY I'm not saying to do hotsauce on a paci, just thinking the same idea, with no bite, would be good "because they're old").

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

You're doing the right thing by talking about - I don't recommend cold turkey at all and it doesn't seem that would work well for you. I would recommend letting them each pick out a new lovey - a soft toy, or whatever and reserve that lovey for bedtime only. And, suggest that the lovey is "better" than the pacifier because "big kids" have lovies. Also, just be cautioned that since you kids have a high need for oral stimulation, they may just switch to their thumbs. And, honestly, I think folks over-react to that. My older son didn't start sucking his thumb till he was 3 and yes, it did push his teeth out some because he didn't stop till he was 6 (at nite only), but he stopped on his own using his own self control by putting his hand under his pillow at nite. So, use your instincts as to how important the pacifiers are to your kids now and gently pull them away from that rather than cold turkey.

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C.R.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with Yolanda. My friend's son was very attached to his paci and she would cut a little bit off the tip each day, eventually there wasn't enough left to suck on.

I've also seen several moms talk to older kids about giving their pacifiers away to a baby that needs them. Do you know of somebody...a family member, friend or somebody at church with a baby. You can have that mommy and baby come over for a really short visit, have your two kids put ALL their pacifiers in a cute little bag and give them to the baby.

I have also seen moms that get all the pacifiers together, tie them to a bunch of balloons and then let each child release their bunch and watch them fly away.

Good luck!

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L.T.

answers from Dallas on

I feel your pain. I felt the exact same way about taking it away. As long as she was sleeping good so was I. I had already limited paci to bedtime only a long time ago. My daughter will be 3 in May and we took it away in January. She moved to a Big Girl Bed and it kept falling behind the headboard or she might still have it. Finally after about 3 nights of her crying and wanting me to come dig it from under the bed my husband went up and told her he threw it in the trash and to lay down and go to sleep. She was fussy for 2 nights and then fully recovered. She still sees babies with paci's and I swear her mouth waters for it.
I suggest limiting to bedtime only and after a week of that tell them to throw it away and make sure they are all gone. DOn't give in or it will be way harder the next time. I was almost terrified my daughter might never sleep again after it was gone, but to my suprise it was 100 times easier than I thought it would be. Good luck!
Or I remember my mom painting my sisters with No Bite and tellng her it tasted bad because it was old and that was the end of it.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

My son had his paci until he was a little passed his 4th birthday and we "accidentally" left it at Mimi's house 2 hours away. Since we were going back the following weekend, I said we'd get it then. However, the paci fairy decided to stop by Mimi's house before we returned and picked the pacis up and left him a really cool present in return. I don't think I would have attempted this unless I was fairly sure he would grudgingly go along with it and he only used them when he was in bed anyway. I wouldn't have done it if I thought he would have cried and been heartbroken by it. Since you have two close to the same age, you will have to get rid of them for both children. I would wait until I thought they were ready no matter what anyone thinks. Maybe try limiting the paci to naps and bedtime only for a while and see what happens. Good luck!

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S.

answers from Dallas on

You might want to try "forgetting" it when you get into the car. If it is not there, they may fuss - but they will be fine. Give them books or toys or something else with which they could keep busy. Ideally, it would be great to sing in the car -- because that would be tough with a pacifier anyway : )

Good luck! You have definitely made the right choice - it will be tough, but think about how things will be three months from now - as opposed to these first few days/weeks. Better to be facing it at 3 & 4, than at 5 & 6!

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