Getting Nervous... I Need Some Help!

Take a deep breath. You will know what to do. Staying home is hard work though - but different from working at a job. You will figure out meal times/snacks and naps. All kids are different so there is no perfect answer. I have 4 recommendations for you:
1) read "You Are Your Child's First Teacher" by Rahima Baldwin Dancy
(you do not need to sign up your kids for a million activities. Just being with you in the home, the park, the yard they will learn so much. Let them help you with chores, cooking, folding laundry - even if it takes longer.
2) Find something that you still love to do - for you. Knitting, gardening, writing, dancing. And do it. You will feel like a mommy all the time and will need some "you" time.
3) Find some alone time with your husband. Get a family member to watch the kids or have a late night date after kids are in bed.
4.) Enjoy being with your children. So many moms don't get the opportunity to witness every milestone and get a 2nd shot at childhood again yourself - with new eyes. Just relax. It will come to you. You will strike a balance.
5) Oh - and here is a #5 - if you get stressed (and you will) and want to scream - let off some steam where they can't hear you. It's ok for kids to see that parents have emotions too - but not if it scares them. Step outside and take a few deep breaths and eat a piece of chocolate. The laundry can wait. :-)

I too worked since I was 17, and became a SAHM at 38 after the birth of my first child. The first year was really tough on my ego and self esteem. I felt isolated, unprepared and inadequate. But I was determined to be there for my daughter in a way my parents hadn't for me, so I decided to figure it out. What helped:

1. Having one good friend from my work world to stay in touch with. In my case, this friend was older, retired with grown children, so lots of perspective from all sides.
2. Work part-time or volunteer, even just a few hours per month. Having some outside task to do with adults really helped my self esteem.
3. Get involved in a mamas group. Go to the playground a lot and meet other SAHMs. Have lots of playdates.
4. Accept that no matter what, meals will be chaotic and the house will get messy.
5. Make sure you have some childcare and take a little bit of time for yourself every week. And keep a date night with your husband! I try to read something every day that is not child related to keep my mind fresh and to have something to talk about other than the kids.
6. Enjoy your children! Play play play! This time is so short...

For me, this was a really painful transition, but now my daughter is almost 4 and my son 6 months and I can't imagine going back to work! I have a
great community of moms and a rich life.

Good luck!
K.

I would just take it as it comes - one thing kids taught me is that we are not in full control... : ) Also, be patient with yourself and your husband as this is a big adjustment for all. Finally, for what it's worth - not to be confusing... my mom was a SAHM, and looking back she would have preferred working par-time. This was hard for her to admit (which she did when I became a Mom), but I totally understand. We each have to do what is right for our families, and us. Sometimes being at home is best, sometimes not. Just know the decision isn't forever - take it as it comes - give it time, and know you can change your mind in the future. For now, enjoy every minute of what you are doing... whatever that is! Good luck!

Oh, and on money saving tips - I would track your spending for a month or so now, so you can see where the money is going. Then you can see where you may be able to cut. When we did this food was our largest area to cut from - amazing how much we spent! Buying generic household items also helped (paper towels, tp, napkins, etc - LOVE TARGET brands).

Finally, check out your local free kid activities. Moms groups, library story time, parks etc. Begin your network now.

It's definately a tough change but a good one if you can make it work! I gradually decreased our budget over time before the baby was born, putting the "excess' money away for a rainy day. That way I was able to re-adjust our spending. I keep a very detailed budget each month, which not only helps us stay on track but prevents any crazy spending (which would be my husband, who's a lover of all things impulsive) It worked for us, and if you can afford to make this change then with a restructured budget it will work for you too. If you're having trouble making that budget check with your bank, many financial institutions offer free services to their members on budget planning.

As for things to do, I bake a lot with your kids. Even my 1 year old can help, I let her "crack" and egg with my help or give her a bowl, a spoon, a measuring cup and some cheerios. My 3 year old loves to get in there too, it keeps us busy and makes for some great treats for my husband. We also do craft time, even crayons and paper can be fun, bubbles outside, go for walks and check with your local community center. Again many free or very inexpensive kid plus parent programs. Take time to enjoy your kids, that's what you're staying home for! One caution I'd make to you is to still allow them some time in the day to independent play. I didn't do that with my oldest and wished I had. By the time her sister was born she expected me to play with her all the time and it was a bit of a transition to change that. By letting your children play together or alone, you'll still fit a few minute into your day for you!

ps. If you're an uber planner like I am, I also have a family calendar that I schedule our days on, it makes me feel in control and the kids feel a part of things. They get to put stickers on their activities.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

I know I'm late in the day answering this, but I thought I'd share a few tips. I always thought I'd be a working mother, but have been at home for a little over four years now.

First, you'll be surprised at how easy it is to transition to one income. When I left my job, it cut our income in half, but it turned out we were just pretty much "blowing" my salary because we didn't see that much of a difference in our lifestyle. Sure, I didn't shop as much, but I also didn't need work clothes any more so that made a huge change in my shopping habits. And, I didn't go out to work lunches or coffee as much anymore, which saved money.

Second, there are lots of things to do with your kids that are free or low-cost. Lots of community centers have play times for only about $2 per session. You might also consider investing in a couple of memberships to places like the children's museum or zoo. Both of your kids should still be free at these places, so you'd just have to buy a single adult membership and it would pay for itself after a few visits.

Third, try to get on a schedule, just like you'd have at work. Plan out your week and you'll find that you are able to stay busy and sane. Being a SAHM can be very tedious and lonely at times - I won't lie. It's a hard job. If you can find a play group with moms who have a child about the same age as your oldest, you'll find that will fill a lot of time and give you companionship as well. My play group saved me when I left work to stay at home.

Fourth, make sure you still carve out time for yourself. You'll deserve it AND need it.

Finally, there is a great book out there called, "You can afford to stay at home with your kids". My sis-in-law gave it to me and it has some great tips for saving money.

Good luck - you'll surprise yourself in the transition and do fine!

Hi LifeIsBeautiful,

I have two children who are 7 and 3. I got to stay home with my first until she was 7 months old (but I was young, not-connected with other parents and unemployed, I had to be looking for a job so it was pretty stressful.) Then I worked full time and I thought it was awful. I liked my job, but I felt that we were always rushing during the week and on the weekends we had to do the chores we hadn't done during the week (laundry, grocery shopping, etc). Daycare providers were spending more time with my daughter than I was and, honestly, my time with her wasn't really quality time. When we had our second child we made a choice to scrimp so I could stay home with the kids. I look at it as the greatest gift. It's not easy, but it's a blessing.
So here's my actual advice. Don't try to be a day care provider. Don't try to be that super-fun mom who plans activities for each day. It will exhaust you and it won't be the best thing you can do for your kids, either. Find the fun in the mundane things. Have your 17 month old help you put the clothes into the washer or dryer. Have him help you cook or clean up. Don't be afraid to let things take a long time. Kids getting restless? Go for a walk around the block, if you let your children stop at everything they're interested in you can burn up a lot of time on that walk around the block and it may not feel like it to you, but it's time well spent. Find some play groups or play parks or library story times you can go to nearby to get you out of the house when it's cold or rainy outside. Those play groups will also help you meet other stay-at-home-parents with kids around the same age. Pretty soon you will have a new network of people to talk to and make playdates with to break up the daily routine!

Hi,

I can't speak to the transition from working outside the home to staying home, but there are three bits of wisdom that seem that my husband and I have learned that seem relevant to your situation...

BUDGET: You and you husband MUST have a written budget for every month. Plan everything from eating out and groceries to gas for the car. Tell your money where to go. Agree on it. If something unplanned comes up, you both have to agree on how to fit it in. Pay off debts (credit cards to student loans to car loans), and have an emergency fund. Borrow Dave Ramsey's book "Total Money Makeover" from the library. It will help you not to worry about money, which will reduce your stress greatly. And as a side note, the hardest things for me to adjust to were my spending the money to run our household when my husband was the one earning it, and feeling like a slug because I was spending "his" money at birthday and Christmas to buy "his" presents. And when we talked about it, he didn't feel the same way. He does, however, feel tremendous pressure to succeed as "the provider." You MUST talk about finances!

ISOLATION: This is the biggest thing I struggle with as a SAHM. Leaving the house with two small children will be a challenge. All of your friends will be at work. You'll be begging for adult conversation, and when you have it, you'll feel boring because your interests center around diapers and naps. Find other mommies to play with. Many churches in the area have chapters of MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) groups. I'm involved with the one at Overlake Christian Church in Redmond, but MOPS is an international organization with lots of chapters (www.mops.org). Even if you're not a church fan, you'll have the opportunity to check your kids into childcare and have two hours of grown up time twice a month. All of the moms have kids 5 and under, so everyone is in the same place, dealing with the same issues. There are speakers dealing with topics about parenting, running a household, marriage, community compassion, etc. I can't say enough about how much I look forward to meetings.

IDENTITY: Arrange with your husband before the change to make sure that you have regular time away from the kids. You'll love them, and staying home is something that will be good for your family. BUT you need to have time to pursue an interest. Whether you lock the bedroom door for a couple hours to read a good book or nap or you start a hobby or girls night with friends outside the house, you'll feel more balanced. And Daddy needs to be in charge occasionally, too. :)

Best wishes!

I had the same problem with my first child before she was born. I knew I wouldn't be able to leave her and I knew I wouldn't be able to handle being a SAHM. I love to work, basically a workaholic, because it is very fullfilling and rewarding and it keeps me in the world of adult conversation. I ended up starting my own home-based business. I work my own hours and I can be home with my (now 3) children. I get to interact with other parents daily and spend quality time with my children. It has been wonderful although very hard to work and be there for my children. No matter what you choose, you will find yourself being very busy. Get socially involved in mom groups, find ways to get out of the house and enjoy yourself, or find a way to work from home. It's all doable, it's just a matter of desire. Whatever you do, make sure you are involved with other parents as they fully understand the struggles in your life and completely understand when you have those days where all you can talk about are your children and days when you want to talk about anything but children. :)

I was nearly 35 when my first child was born, and had always been a student and/or worked full time. It was a big adjustment. A couple of things really saved me.

1. I joined a cooperative indoor park. Most of my friends were still working, whether or not they had children, so indoor park helped me meet new friends who were SAH moms and dads, and my children also became friends with their children. With our rainy northwest climate, it was great to know I had a place where my children could run around and release all their energy, and not be cold, wet or muddy!

2. My closest new friend and I each had 2 children close in age. Twice a week, we exchanged childcare for several hours, which gave each of us a child-free block of time.

3. I started a business with very flexible hours. This gave me some income, but more important was the adult contact and sense of accomplishment. I placed foreign exchange students for a non-profit exchange program. I met with host families and students on evenings and weekends, and made phone calls when it fit my schedule. An added benefit was that my husband became comfortable taking care of the children in his own way, without me there to "supervise".

I went from working to SAHM. I was really excited when we decided I would do this. Staying at home is really different than working and I had a hard time adjusting because I started going crazy being at home all the time and not having other adults to talk to. We live away from family so I did not have help just right around the corner or someone to go visit.

My advice is definately get a routine going and go find a moms group to get involved with. It saved me. I had people to visit with to ask advice from and when my child got older, other kids for her to play with.

Also, make sure you get some you time. It is hard raising kids and when they are stuck to you 24hrs a day without a break then you may start feeling overwhelmed. And like someone else said, make your husband help you. Staying at home can be just as hard and tiring as going to work! Hope this helps.

Yes, you are a ball of nerves :-). I had some of the same trepidations with my first pregnancy. I found out @ 20 weeks we were having twins and it changed my mind set from returning to work to staying home. My biggest concern was a the single income, and yes at first we were fine with what was had saved. After about a year it was a little tight, but there were so many things we learned to cut back on. One thing that helped was the cost of fuel. We weren't both driving to work so it cut on the monthly fuel in the vehicle. Making weekly menus for supper, it cut back on knee jerk and craving spending at the grocery store. We still ate what ever we wanted, but with it planned out, the cost groceries went down. Cutting down on the amount of times we went out to eat or purchase snacks on the go. After a while we cut little things here and there that didn't matter as much as a life with kids. After 6 years we have picked up those hobbie expenses and didn't really miss them too much.

I was thrown into my transition because my twin were premature by 6 weeks and I had not expected the extra time off work and the expense of a month in the hospital. I was able to stay employeed for sometime and use my sick time, so this helped. After all that, we really didn't notice the change, we were happy to home and to be in a boring routine of feeding, walking, playing, meal prep, and down time.
Now I am pregant with our fifth baby and staying at home has been the best decision of my life. I never thought I would be able to live without the routine of work and that social environment. My prioirities changed and I took baby steps. If I wasn't comfortable with something I talked with my husband and we worked through it. We actually found the home chores remained split up and my husband had no problem with that. I spent so much time doing everything I wanted to with my kids. Going for daily and sometime twice daily walks for exercise was perfect for the kids, as they don't want to be stuck in the house. Finding friends to meet at the park with other children, or meeting new people at the park turned out to be great therapy. Joining a mom and me group (like MOPS), swim lessons for the kiddos starting at six months old was inexpensive perfect for our active lifestyle, going to open gym/toddler time at the local recreation center...these were all great network and social interactions for me and the kids. No this doesn't mean I did it everyday, and sometime not even every week, but it was part of our new routine after my kids were about 6 month old.
Take every day as it comes and yes some days will seem overwhelming, but you just chalk them up to a crappy day at "work". We ALL have them and that's when the support of a wonderful husband helps. My relationship with my husband has only evolved and strengthen over the past 7 years (been together for 17, married for 10). We are always busy with his work and travel schedule, my involvemnt at the kids school and of course our home life with 4 1/2 kids. Somedays we agree having popcorn, carrot sticks, fresh cut fruit and cheese & crackers for supper is ok, but it is not the norm, but the kids think it is a super treat (when in actuality we DON'T want to cook). We argue and fuss over money at times, but that is to be expected we did it before, and now we have to remember $ isn't as important as our family. We work as a team (all 6 of us) and enjoy our time together.
Now I do have a part-time job (10 hours/week) and it is my escape back to my old life of a different kind of professional. I have something I can control that has nothing to do with diapers, homework, laundry, runny noses or the screetch of the word "MOMMA". I love it, and in a few more years I see myself work more and more hours to get back to full time.
Just remember to bend with the wind...sound SUPER corney, but it helps on those crappy days to a small degree. Have fun with every moment, kids grow faster then we ever imagine and your outside of the home professional life will pick up once again, when you are ready for it.

Read "In Praise of Stay at Home Mom's" by Dr. Laura Schneider. It's a hard transition, but definitely worth it. You won't be getting performance reviews or bonuses, but this time in your kids lives is so important. You are lucky you get to be their role model. I agree with what someone else said, don't overschedule. Pick one thing a day to do and make that your activity (go grocery shopping, go to the zoo, go to the library, park, etc.). At home, just takes cues from your kids. My kids are 17 months apart also, and it can be challenging at times. Now they are 2.5 and almost 4 and play together all the time. Less money is definitely worth being with your kids.

It is what you make it to be. It's all in your attitude and approach. I've been a SAHM for six years now and I love it. I enjoy watching my babies grow. I feel no one can take as good care of them as me. I was a full-time working mom for 8 years because I had no other choice, and I missed out on my daughter's growing up. She was in a full-time day care and I worked 10 hours a day, so I did my bestt. When I became a SAHM, it was challenging in the beginning, but once I got more methodical and set up schedules for the kids, cleaning, meal preps, shopping (clip those coupons), and making time for myself, it worked out wonderfully. Keep your priorities straight--yes, make those romantic dinners for hubby too:) You will have hard days too, but that's with any job. It helps to find other SAHM's in your area to hang with too. I say, try it for one full year and if you feel that you'd be happier working outside of the home, you can always go back to work. Another fact, you will always be able to find a job if you really want one, but your kids are only little for a short time and it does go by very fast. Enjoy them while they are young:)

M

Last May, I was laid off from my job of 4 years - it was an extension of me personally, I'd worked 50-60 hours/week, through maternity leave and 5 months of chemo. My only experience as a SAHM was forced upon me as a lay off, and I spent the entire time tirelessly getting another job.

If your heart tells you to be a SAHM once baby #2 is here, great. Run with it and enjoy it. But, don't beat yourself up if you miss work and want to be a working mom either. Most of us know in our hearts what the right decision is. For me it was being a working mother - as much for my children as it is for me. You won't find another mother who loves her children as much as I do, but I wouldn't be a very good SAHM, and I know it. So, I believe we are all better in the situation we currently have with 2 working parents. It's what works for our family. Being a full-time professional was the BEST thing for us when, a week after returning from maternity leave w/our second child, I was diagnosed with cancer and started 5 months of chemo. I couldn't have taken care of my kids and done treatments - and, work created the diversion I needed to focus on something else.

I know a lot of SAHM that don't love it, but they're afraid to admit it's not right for them, they can't take the trials/tribulations of being on the job 24/7 and desperately need the fulfillment that a career offers them personally. And, I know SAHM that can't imagine going back to the professional world. It's OK either way as long as it's the right decision for your family.

Ironically, my Mom didn't work until I was 16 (I am the youngest of 3 children), and she was miserable every moment she was working.

My advice: give it a try and see if it's the best decision for your family. If not, you're not a failure - you're just being honest with yourself. Despite knowing better, we do seek the affirmation of other people and worry about their judgment. I promise no one's judgment will overcome the love you have for your children whichever decision is best for you.

Congratulations on Baby #2 and good luck as you make this transition.

Get involved in your local MOMS club chapter it is a group if sahm's in ur community that gets together for play groups book club mom's night out clothing swaps play dates trips financial clubs trips etc. It only costs 26 a year. Get a zoo membership it will be worth it. Also start making whole foods. Live like u have one income eat out less. Enjoy being home with kids. Soon they will be in kinder and u might want to work part time but for now just give yourself permission to wholly enjoy doing the most important job of being a mom.

You have some excellent advice here. I agree that it is really up to you and your family. If it's not the right fit, you can go back to work. I was a SAHM with my daughter until she was 5 and my son was almost 2. I loved it and felt like we adjusted our spending based on our income. That wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.

We spent a lot of time doing simple things like play groups, walks, gardening, playing and housework - when I had time! I think that was the biggest struggle for me. You feel like you will have tons of time to get the house organized and keep it that way, but really, it's a struggle to manage it all with the little ones always there. I would carve out time for yourself. If you have a teenager in the neighborhood or a family member close, I would set up a standing date with them to come over and give you a small break each week. I think that's what I missed most about my working life. You have downtime here and there..even driving to and from work is your time. With kids, there is little of that. I think some moms are better at managing and controlling that by being able to have their kids wait and be patient while mom finishes something or even just EATS. I wasn't very good about taking care of me. Now I'm a Work-at-home-mom and I love it, although I do remember those nice long afternoons in the backyard where the only care in the world was what to plan for dinner, how to get the laundry folded and put away, and reading up on how to get my toddler to stay in her bed. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that, but I love my work too much. This is a good balance for me and my kids. Good luck!!

Calm down. Being a stay at home mom is great! You'll figure it all out through trial and error. Clip coupons, shop sales and resale shops, and for activites with the kids, enjoy them being free until they're 3! Mine is free to eat at a lot of places, at the zoo, etc. We paid $65 for a year long membership to the children's museum so that we can go whenever. The library always has story times and such for free, etc. You'll be ok. :)
Have fun being a mommy!

get yourself on a budget and since you will have a while before you stay home do save what you are making a make sure you will be fine with just one income. I lost my job of almost 5 years and became a stay at home mom and started my own in home daycare so I really had no time for a transition period wish I had because you will have some different anxieties about being home most of the time but you know what if the dishes or laundry don't get done that day don't sweat it just enjoy your time with the kiddos it goes by way to fast. oh yeah do get out and get some adult time weather it's with your husband or just yourself you will be doing yourself a huge favor god bless and good luck

Make a schedule: library day, go to the park day, do nothing day, explore the back yard day, things like that. There are also clean house days. It will take longer than you think with two little ones under two. Everything will be s-l-o-w-e-r. Even going to the grocery store will have to be planned.

You will have to plan time for yourself. I used Masterpiece Theater.

As to money saving--there is the thrift store. For kids under 4 the outfits are hardly worn and under a $1.00 usually. Great savings. You will enjoy planning cost saving meals for your family, including baby foods. Take up making soups and start canning fruits (nothing like home made soups).

Find a passion that you like: gardening, scrap booking, etc.

I am not a SAHM, but some of my friends are. I wanted to add that the most important thing when it comes to being a SAHM (from their perspective) is to establish a routine and let it guide you. Kind of treat it as a job. Plan things out and make time for the things that are important. Without a routine you may be left feeling like you are running a marathon in circles.
Also, just a side note. Communicate with your husband that though you are a SAHM and the household/child responsibilities are yours during the day, when he comes home its just life. Those kids are both of yours and he should be doing his fair share. The biggest complaint I hear from SAHM (that I know) is that hubbies don't help at all when they get home from their "job". Being a SAHM shouldnt have to be a 24/7/365 day job. It just leave you being resentful.

It is a big change, but I suspect that once it gets here, you'll realize that it isn't as drastic as you might be imagining.

I worked part time until my oldest was 2 and just shortly before my youngest was born. The transition was very smooth and easy, but I was also part time. We are a part of a couple different moms groups that keep us pretty busy. Our day today: wake up, get everyone cleaned up and dressed. Take toddler to swimming. Come home, get her bathed and lunch. Go to costco for groceries. come home and unload groceries. Breastmilk for both girls. Meet husband at restaurant. Dinner with friends for me, he drove two sleeping girls home and started feeding the toddler dinner and playing with her a little. When I got home, breastmilk for baby, play for toddler then bedtime routine for both kids.

I was a SAHM and I agree with all of the great suggestions you've already gotten about getting involved with groups of other SAHMs. I loved being at home with my children and totally immersed myself in the experience. Exploring the world with them was like getting to be a kid again myself. I shared my interests and the things I knew with them and when they became interested in something I knew little or nothing about, we learned together.

To both save money and to have a activity for yourself and your children, here are some ideas: grow a vegetable garden, plant fruit and nut trees and shrubs, landscape the rest of your yard for wildlife, build and put up bird feeders and nesting boxes. You and your children will learn to use simple tools and constantly be seeing something new right in your own backyard!

Consider building a chicken coop from scrap and recycled lumber and getting a few laying hens, can, dehydrate and freeze your fruits and vegetables, bake bread, crochet, knit, do crafts from inexpensive or recycled materials, etc. Take lots of pictures and make scrap books together.

Look into the inexpensive and free activities in your area. See what programs are available at your local library and parks and recreation department. I discovered many free programs - reading hour at the library, beach ranger walks, free concerts in the park, etc. If you are not already familiar with the native plants and animals in your area. borrow books to learn about them and take your kids for walks in the parks, greenbelts and beach to teach them as well. My kids and I went to ponds at night in the spring with flashlights to look for frogs. It was one of their favorite things to do. We could see the hundreds of shiny eyes looking back at us in the beam of our flashlights!

I also think it is important for yourself, your relationship with your husband and for your children to have something that is for you and provides a way for you to make at least a small amount of income and an outlet for your creativity.

One way to do that is to share your experiences, help others, make some income from home and have a lot of fun by starting a blog and making Squidoo lenses. In addition to earning directly from Squidoo, there are many free affiliate programs that you can link to lenses to help bring in additional income.

If you've never heard of Squidoo, it is a fascinating place to learn and share your interests and everyday experiences. To give you an example of what it's all about, here's a link to one of my lenses:
http://www.squidoo.com/Rat-in-the-toilet

Enjoy the experience of being a SAHM and feel free to contact me if I can help.

I have never been a working mom, i stopped working a few weeks before my due date with my son and never looked back (i am pregnant with #2 due in Aug). yes things are tight moneywise but raising my own children is more important to me then cable and big tv's. It is not an easy job full of sitting on the couch and enjoying the weather and it is quite often thankless if you dont look int he right places. I personally feel like the ability to stay home is the greatest gift my husband could ever give to me and i have asked for nothing more than that. Some days it is hard to balance the house cleaning with the kids but to me it is all about the kids. i held my son while he slept for the first 2 months of his life because i COULD. you will receive many thank yous if you know where to look for them the little run by kisses the smiles the "mommy come play with me" my son is 2 and i have not yet reached the "i can't do this". my husband gets concerned that i dont like it because he knows what it is like to deal with our son without assistance. but it takes a certain kind of person to be a SAHM. i am sure you will do fine but dont get upset with yourself if once in awhile you need a break from the kids. As far as money goes we simply dont spend it. we pay out our bills and groceries and nothing else. we dont go to the movies, we dont buy new clothes, or electronics. all of our spare time is family time going to the park, once in while we save up for mini vacations like weekends spent camping and so on. MY focus is my family and that makes everything else fall into place. my son plays very well on his own because we dont use the tv often and only for educational shows. I let my son free play most of the day. he lets me know what he wants and if he asks me to play with him or read to him i finish up what i am doing and i spend time with him. i found that "activities" are fun but my son would much rather just be active :) as far as dealing with 2 i am not yet to that point but i am sure i can handle it and so will you. If you feel like you can't handle it then try going to work part time. I dont like to be away from my son, i can if i have to but i really do enjoy being with him no matter how naughty he is. lol. it is hard to tell someone if you dont want to be stressed then dont be but that is how it boils down fro me. when i find myself worrying about money, or house work etc. i just say "don't worry abotu it look at your children look at how lucky you are" some mother have absolutely no choice they have to work so if you look at staying home like a gift that has been given to you rather then a choice you are making you might find it easier to deal with the daily stress. Good luck!

I will be completely honest... It's not for everyone. I tried it for about 2 months. The 1 budget was extremely hard to adjust. I would suggest maybe doing part time first to see if it works for you and your family. I had a job since age 14 and found myself going crazy. We didn't have the money to live the lifestyle we were accustomed to, so ended up home ALOT. I felt trapped. I really love my children and LOVED the time with them, but felt like I lost myself. I went back about 20 hours a week. It's GREAT! I like the little escape and time w/grownups and the money is nice too!