Getting My Toddler on a Schedule

I bought my daughter a new, inexpensive toddler bed, pillow and pillow case (Dora). We made it a big deal that she had a new "big girl's bed". At around 8:30 p.m., I started getting her ready for bed. We made our way to the bathroom to brush our teeth. While doing that, I kept telling her what a big girl she was and how much fun it was going to be to sleep in her own bed. Once we walked to her room, I have her help me get the bed ready and she turns off the light. I usually hold her in my arms and pat her back until she is almost asleep then I put her in her bed. The key is to stick to a routine! If she wakes up in the middle of the night, help her to get back to sleep but keep her in HER bed. That way she will get the concept that this is where she will be sleeping from now on. Best wishes!

Hi,
My suggestion would be that whatever you decide to do, do it consistently. If you want her to go to bed in her room at 8 everynight, you're just going to have to do it consistantly, even though she will cry:-) I do have to say there aint no way I would give up my own bed lol. If she just wont stay in her room then maybe you could put up a baby fence in her doorway and eventually she will get the clue. I do have to stay that you and your husband will probably not get a good night's rest while you're traning her on the new schedule. But, once she catches on, you're life will be GREAT:-) Just stay strong and remember, her crying is not hurting her, it only hurts your heart listening to her. Good luck.

Have a routine... ours is bath, vitamins,teeth, dressed, story and songs, nurse- and prayer. If he is still awake I get up still and leave with a "goodnight, love you." We decided early on ( he was about 17 months when we took him out of the crib as he was not falling asleep at the breast at that time for bedtime and I was trying to sit in the rocker and ignore him yet make him fall asleep by himself- I noticed out of the corner of my eye, most of one leg and thigh over the rail and he was waiting for me to stop him from pitching himself over the crib rail) that he just had to sleep on a mattress and if he fell asleep on the floor next to the door, fine. SO we put a gate up if he was getting out and coming out of the room. Say goodnight the first time you have to come back in and resettle her, then leave. Then the next 2 times it is nonverbal, just place her back in bed. Then we just put up the gate. It got to the point where he just stays in his room now- (like today I took him to his room because I needed to clean up a mirror he broke in the dining room and I told him to stay there until I cleaned up the mess... I was going to just shut the door quick but decided to trust him and he just stayed. SO I thanked him later for listening so well.) If you are consistent they will eventually get the message. He really likes it better with no gate and seems to understand that we won't put it up if he keeps himself in there. (It was the clear plastic smooth sides one that they can't climb at all)
Some nights he is out cold before I can finish with anything and some nights he is babbling on and on for 2 hours but he stays in bed.
We can tell if he is really in trouble or sick, and I go in then and help him out but otherwise, "goodnight" is it.
I know it is tough- she still has a lot of baby left in her- I would start by going in and falling asleep with her in her bed- making that special routine time- get used to that- then be a bit more rigid.

There have been times when he wakes up in the middle of the night crying... one of us (usually dh- Isleep like a rock) goes in to take care of him, only dh would just rather bring him in with us. Then he totally rolls around and takes over. If this wakes me up enough then I get annoyed and take him back to his room and put up the gate. We would hear 20-30 min of crying, but he would go back to sleep. If I wake up to take care of him, I resettle him, tell him it "is ok, go to sleep" (stern reassuring voice) and go back to bed myself.
It is hard- they have teeth coming in- could have had a bad dream... so you just have to play it by ear, do what is neccessary, then stick to the rules. Be a marshmallow with a backbone. :)

I agree with the others who commented that consistency is key. You have a tough hurdle to get over but once you do, it will be all downhill from there. Children learn early on what they have to do in order to get their own way. For example, "If I cry enough, mommy will put me in her bed." You have to teach her that crying will not work.

I know how hard it is to just sit and listen to your child cry but you may have to get over that a little bit in order to get through this. I would start by explaining to her that she's a big girl and she needs to sleep in her own bed, etc., etc. I'm sure you've done that to some extent already, but I would start over from scratch. Incorporate other elements too - like the routine that the other mom uses.

A close friend of mine went through the same thing. It was incredibly hard on her and her husband - they couldn't sleep with their daughter pitching a fit in the other room. Her solution was to take a week of vacation and use that time to deal with it. That way, she was better able to handle being kept up because she didn't have to go to work.

You might also try some rewards, too. You might even let her help choose the rewards. Use small rewards for one successful night and then something bigger after a whole successful week.

The key is not to give in. Stand your ground, even though you are exhausted and want badly to just cave in and go to sleep - and no rewards unless she did exactly what she was supposed to do in order to earn it.

Good luck!

If you get any advice that works please let me know because my son (29 months) was on a sleep schedule, but about 5 months ago started having to fall asleep in our bed. I'll get him in his bed once he's asleep, but he's back up and in our bed in the middle of the night...so I completely understand your frustration. Let me know if anything works!

Getting a toddler on your schedule......it seems so simple and yet so frightening to think about. Those beautiful active two year olds are learning the fine art of manipulation and preying on all the parental weaknesses they can find...they do not go gently into there own beds. She is now conscious that you move her and she likes where she is thank you. I have been where you are with my 13yr old daughter and now I have another about to be 2yr old myself, so I am there again. I agree with the others regarding consistency, you absolutely must stick to your guns. Whatever you decide be sure to think it through carefully or you may be getting less sleep. You have to make the decision based on your child's personality.

Some children are more needy than others and that is not a bad thing. You may have let yourself become your tots comfort object and if that is true you should be very flattered. You seem to have a very strong bond with your child which means the transition can go smoothly especially if you talk it up for a couple of nights making it sound like a REALLY fun idea. Don't forget the infamous child safe night light...they really do become your best friend (scared of the dark or not). You might also try "camping" in your child's room to get them comfortable there........think about it do you sleep as well in a hotel bed? Sure the kid is gonna want the comfort of your bed and your touch.

With my daughter I bought her a twin size mattress and put it on the floor and called it her big girl bed. I would lay in bed with her, we would read and then I would tell her stories. When it was time to go to sleep, I would stay until she was asleep at first then slowly weaned her off needing my presence to go to sleep. To avoid the middle of the night bed invasion, I put up a removable gate in her doorway and used it during playtime too (when I was cooking dinner)so that she would understand if she came to the gate and called Mama or Daddy one of us would come. At night we put her back to sleep IN HER BED. Once we made the shift she wasn't allowed in our bed. When she was sick I would sleep with her in HER bed. It only took a couple of months before everyone was sleeping all night happily.

Good luck with your tot and remember she won't need you like this forever so stop and savor it when you get frustrated. She is just figuring out she is independent of you. Going to her room all night in the dark (alone) is like when you left home for the first time and figured out you were alone. Yeah it seems like a dramatic comparison but not from the eyes of a two year old. It's a big scary world! Now get that baby in her room so you can snuggle your husband again. You will all be happier and healthier with a good nights sleep. :)