My 2 Yr Old Won't Stay in Bed.. What to Do?

I would, at about the same time each night, read her a story and maybe sing a soft song to her. That worked for me.

What worked with my two grandchildren - was '' oh, dear -if you can't stay in bed - door will close -''' ( we always said when we were putting them to bed '' do you want door open or closed?''' and they'd choose 'open' and we'd say ''' then you need to stay on bed ' so door stays open''. When they got up anyway- we'd say '' oh, dear - now door needs to close (( not all the way- but half way)) They'd howl about it and we'd say - '''then stay ON bed so door can stay open'' -- worked for us ---

it's a toughie- I know
blessings,
J.

A.,

we've gone through the same thing. We moved our daughter to a big girl bed at 21 months - the first two weeks were great, then she realized she could get out. We put the gate up, kept the monitor on, and when we could, just let her fuss until she went back to sleep. Sometimes this worked, and we'd have a 3 or 4 day stretch where she'd stay in bed all night. Sometimes it wouldn't, and I'd end up going in and rocking her back to sleep 1 or 2 or even 3 times per night. After a couple of months of that, I was soooooo tired and frustrated that I decided to just let her cry it out. We had one absolutely horrible night where she cried and called and yelled for two hours, until she finally went back to sleep. After that, no problem. (She was just a week away from her birthday then).

We do have "slippage" sometimes because she's teething and she was sick recently, and so I have gone in when she's called, but I've just put her back into bed, told her it's not wake up time yet, put her lullably cd on and left the room. That's seemed to work.

So rest assured it will change for the better - then likely change again - and again... good luck!

best
K.

I haven't done this yet, but I plan on doing it when my 1 year old moves to the toddler bed. My sister swears by this with all four of her daughters. Its hard, but you are already being kept up half the night, so a few nights of this should do the trick. Since your bedroom is downstairts, you might need to make a bed in the hallway outside your daughter's room. When she comes out of bed out into the hall, immediately pick her up and place her back in her bed. Don't say anything. If you don't give her any attention while placing her back in bed, she will eventually get really mad, then bored, then probably stop getting up to see you. It might take all night for a few nights, but this is how my sister broke all her toddlers from wandering out of their rooms after moving to a big bed. She also for one of her more stubborn kids shut the door with a washcloth wedged in so that the child couldn't open it, and after a few nights of my niece falling asleep on the floor by the door, started staying in her bed! I know its sad, but they have to learn that they don't get a reward (sleeping with mommy and daddy) if they get out of their beds! I hope this helps!

this is gonna be tough.. but pick a 3-4 day stretch where you can do this. It is going to mean less sleep for a few nights for you - find a good book to read -but it will give her the message in a positive way.

When she wakes up. See if she needs something - a drink, go to the bathroom or a diaper change if she is still wearing diapers. Then put her back to bed. Stand by the door. If she comes to the door to get come see you. she will see you there. Firmly instruct her to get back in bed. She may cry.. but let her, it wont' hurt her. (get the one who is still in bed some earplugs!). Set a time for 2 minutes.. if she is still crying go in and comfort her but do not pick her up and hold her. Cover her up and give her a kiss and walk out again. This time set the timer for 3 or 4 minutes. If she is still crying when that is up.. go in and do the same thing. Timer gets set for 1-2 minutes more each time up until 10 minutes. She ought to cry herself to sleep.. and it won't hurt her. You may have to do this for 3 or 4 nights.. you could take turns doing this with your husband - pick a a 3-4 day stretch that includes the weekend so you can sleep in a bit.

If after a 10 minute "session" of crying. she is still crying... do the first routine again.. drink of water, diaper change. this time maybe read her a book, something quiet. Then start it all over again. Usually the first night is the toughest for her. The second might be toughest for you (unless you take turns with dh). She will eventually get the message that she needs to stay in bed.. and that you are there for her. She'll start getting the message by the second night and should get up less and less. Now.. she may finally stay in bed for a week or so then attempt to get back sneaking out of bed again.. you'll need to do the "routine" again but it should only take one or two nights. She will quickly be reminded.

best wishes.

J.

Our little guy figured out how to get out of bed soon after he transitioned to the Big Boy Bed. A "Bedtime Rewards Chart" has solved the problem for us!

I made up a chart and hung it on the wall next to his bed. Every morning when he wakes up we talk about how he did the night before. If he had a good bedtime (ie: cooperated while getting ready for bed) and stayed in bed all night, he gets a sticker. After so many stickers, he gets to choose a reward (Chuck E. Cheese, ice cream at DQ, etc.). So far it's worked like a charm!

Hi A.,

My suggestion for you and all parents and children who have difficulty with bedtime--exercise! Put on a CD or DVD or Dance with the Stars...run through the house, giggle, laugh and shout till you drop. Wear yourself and them out. Don't give up before they do. Make everything about bedtime bouncy and silly! You will all sleep with abandon...

Trust me. I've had over 70 foster kids and this works for all ages.

My Best

M., parent educator, therapuetic foster mom and great sleeper (only I have a dog now!)

we're kind of going through the same thing with my daughter, but her thing is she wants me to come hold her hand while she falls back asleep. It actually works out pretty well, she gets out of her bed and calls for me, and I go in there and sit by her, she lays down and I hold her hand... she is usually out again in five or ten minutes and I go back to bed! The only time this gets really super irritating is when she gets up multiple times in the night, an hour or so apart and we repeat this charade over and over! Or when it takes her FOREVER to fall back asleep and I end up sitting up with her for 45 minutes and think she's back asleep only to have her wake up and yell for me when I have just barely tiptoed out of her doorway. At that point, I just tell her I need to sleep and make her come to bed with me instead of sitting up holding her hand half the night. Anyways, I guess thats probably not any help whatsoever, more just an "I feel your pain" reply. LOL Unless maybe you want to try to convince your little girl that she can fall back asleep in her big girl bed if you sit next to her and hold her hand??
I'm hoping this wont last too long and my daughter will learn how to put herself back to sleep soon! She's only been in the big girl bed for about a month now, so maybe these things just take time? I dont know. Anyways, good luck! :)

Rest assured this too will pass. She's made a big transition from a secure crib to an insecure big-girl bed. She's exploring new boundaries and new territory. We were there too a year ago. Our daughter is now three, and I'm proud to report that she's pretty darn good at staying in her bed. We started at 18 months because she climbed out of her crib and we were worried about her falling. We never hit on one solution that worked to keep her in bed, but we stayed consistent at putting her back in bed and insisting that she only get out if she has to go potty. If she needed a drink, an extra snuggle, some hand holding, then she could ask for it from her bed. Both of us have spent many nights enjoying some extra cuddle time with our all-too-soon-to-be-grown-up-baby-girl (we have to remind eachother of that truth). We never brought her to our bed, because we did plenty of that while co-sleeping with her when she was an infant. The method doesn't have to be consistent; the MESSAGE has to be consistent.

Hi A.,
Well, it sounds like you are needing a bit more consistency. If you put her back in her bed sometimes and then take her to your bed sometimes, she's not getting the clear picture of what's expected of her. As grueling as it sounds, you should make the trip up the stairs and keep putting her back to her bed every single time. That way, she will know that you bed is not option. If you were her, would you rather sleep by yourself in your bed or cozy with mom and dad? I think that the choice is really up to you. If you decide that you really want her to sleep in her bed all night, you have to put the hard work into it. It totally sucks for a while, but then it's awesome. My kids are great sleepers. I'm really lucky.
Good luck!
A.

A.,

What about a small CD player with lullabies playing all night? That has worked with both my kids. I know that if I try to sleep in a silent room my thoughts just keep going and going and I don't get to sleep. That may be her problem too. Get one with the continuous replay so that it plays all night.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

Keep the gate up. Get a baby monitor so you can hear if she hurts herself seriously. Don't bring her to your bed in the middle of the night. (bad habit--even if it feels sooo good) Let her fall asleep on floor if she wants to. Keep it as dark as you can so play is not encouraged. Limit or eliminate her naps.

I speak from experience. My daughter stopped sleeping at 18 months and the only solution was to eliminate all naps and put her in a regular bed. I told her if she moved she would fall out. But I had to eliminate naps. It was a sad day for me. I did love those nap times. W.

We moved our little girl in to a twin at 23 months because she has a new lil' sister that will need the crib! We have had no problems (yet!).

We have a very structured bedtime routine, so for us, that helped. We also put a kid's bed rail on the bed (so she won't fall out, but it also keeps her semi-contained [it is half the length of the bed] and gives her an extra measure of security, I think). We also use an air filter for white noise.

Good luck!

Its always so hard when they are so young to put your foot down and take on an agressive method but it is very important that you do. Having the gate in front of her door is great so she doesnt get hurt on the stairs. Your going to have to just knuckle down and when she gets up go put her back into bed kiss her goodnight and leave. It may take a couple weeks and you may have to get up and down a lot of times but she will eventually realize that you are not going to bring her to bed with you nor are you going to stay with her and she will start sleeping longer and longer. I would say that once I figured out that soothing her back to sleep was a bad idea, it took about 10 days ( and getting up about 10 times a night) with my daughter at that age and she was only getting up once a night. The key is to stick with 1 plan and method until you start to see a result.
It's not probably not the advice you were looking for but it works if you stick with it... Good luck

Mother of 2

Exactly what you are doing! Put up the gate so she can't get out of her room, and leave her be. Even if she gets out of bed, leave her alone. Just make sure it is as dark as she will let you make it so she can't play too much. At night when she wakes, just give her a hug and put her right back in her bed and leave. If she continues screaming, come back in a few minutes and do it all over again. I doubt it is that she is more scared at night and think it is probably more that she learned how to get close to you at night and doesn't want to give that up.

If she is potty trained, take her to the potty and then take her back to bed. Maybe its as simple as a cup of water near her bed that she can reach (sippy of course!). You can also get a lightweight barrier for the bed like a railing that slides under the mattress and is simply a fall-out prevention tool. You can make a big deal about putting her favorite sleeping toy in there and saying "when fluffy is there, fluffy stays til breakfast" or something similar. then add, "Just like you!". As far as the tantrums go when she wakes up, perhaps give her the out put side of a baby monitor so that she can hear your voices if she needs to. Perhaps she doesn't know what happens when you go to sleep, and is scared because she didn't KNOW you had to sleep. Kids are like that. She needs to see sleep as kids are very visual. She just needs it explained. "Every body sleeps " after all. Part of the growing up process, there are lots of answers that will work. Take a few a try them out. Maybe she has a little friend or cousin that has a bed, and you can arrange to be around for bedtime. Kids relate to kids. If someone is with her she may fall asleep and stay that way if she sees someone else doing the same thing. The difference between awake and asleep is a surprise to a two year old would be my guess. Waking up in the dark and the safety of a crib is different than waking up with the ability to get up and run. So, finding a way to put up some sort of bed-rail system might be helpful. Or simply set up a mattress on the floor in her room as a bed with a couple of toys, and her sippy of water and give her leave to play there when she wakes up. Put a picture of mom and dad near by perhaps that will help her remember you are there and she is safe.

Patience. It's natural that she wants to explore the independence that comes from having her own bed that she can leave or come back to at will. I don't think that there is anything wrong with taking her into your bed in the night if it works for you. As she grows more comfortable with the new situation, she will likely begin sleeping longer and eventually decide to resettle herself when she wakes up. You can tell her stories about what you do when you wake in the night. In the meantime, just enjoy these precious snuggly moments of sharing sleep with your daughter. They will pass and soon enough sleeping with her parents will be the last thing in the world she wants to do. I have a 3y.o. son and a 6mo. old daughter. My husband is usually the one to go to our son in the night now (about 1-2x a week, down from 2-3x/night through his early toddling years) because I, of course, have to be on hand to nurse the babe. I genuinely miss the moments of falling asleep with his little hands on my cheeks and have so many warm memories of nighttime parenting. So, in short, just meet her where she is now and trust that her natural desire for independence will kick in at some point. Good luck!