Getting My Family "On Board" Nutrition Plan

I follow my diet, I cook, and the kids (usually) stay home and eat with me. I don't ask my husband where he's going, and he's not allowed to bring home leftovers. The more I lose, the less he eats out.

S.

J.,
You do the best you can, but you cannot control what your husband does. I know how hard it is. My husband has struggled with weight for 30 years. I tried not to harp on him, but it seems that when I would have a heart to heart with him, it sometimes helped......for awhile. A couple of years ago he got diabetes and he does much better now. I got big into nutrition and supplements and he follows a diet I had to push to get him started on. Finally, this diet has made the difference and he is doing well, but he had to come to terms with it in his own head.......and sadly he had to get diabetes to wake up.

My advice is to take care of yourself and your kids. Offer your husband healthy foods, but keep in mind you cannot control what he eats when he is away from the house. It's hard and it's sad, but its the truth and you can't do anything about it. I'd refuse to buy his junk food. He can get it himself if he must have it. Eat the best you can when you go out. Maybe eat before you go out, then just have a small salad. Take care of yourself and the kids, who you do have some control over.

Try talking to your husband, but don't harp. Let him know it is about having a long happy life together and maybe it will sink in. Wish I had better advice.
My best wishes to you.

This is exactly why we are trying our best to teach children from day one to eat veggies, then fruits and they say if you eat Whole Grain that you can lose weight. I think it is not portion size but the fat contents in the food. A salad with some meat in it is better then country fried steak. My boyfriend eats that all the time and is skinny. Your weight is not that aweful. I also weigh from 147-150 and was skinny in high school. I figured out that my girlfriend and I both have gained 60 pounds since High School. That puts her over 200 pounds so glad I started skinny. But I am going through my closet and have to get rid of most of the clothes because just 8 yrs ago I was skinnier. I wish to go back to 135. My friend's mom always told her you gain 5 pounds then you cut back until that 5 pounds is gone. It is the pound a yr that adds up.

I usually eat my cereal Cherrios later in the morning so at lunch time I am not as hungry. I think it is hard to go cold turkey. My ex lost 30 pounds on the Atkins diet and stuck to it eating out a lot. No sugar, lived on hot dogs and chicken, no bread. But chicken and fish are better then red meat. Part of it is to keep all junk food out of the house. My down fall is coke and I do not buy it all the time. I am just as happy with anything in the fridge. Also every diet says drink a lot of water. It will flush us out. I also have high cholesterol, high blood pressure and none of it is to be taken with a grain of salt. I had a stroke 11 yrs ago. My blood pressure was fine and checked by my doctor. We thought it was just a sinus infection. Turned out that next day my blood pressure was sky high and for years I had to relearn from brain damage. Today, I went to College and got an Associate Degree, my hand is almost back to normal and was not even able to cut my meat or put on make up. Scary thing. The brain replaced dead cells and every day I would learn again what I once knew. So if hubby wants to go for dinner. Get a Taco salad instead, in Mexican Res. Fish or chicken keep gravy at a min. Steamed veggies.

The gov program we feed the kids through my Day Care fresh first, frozen second and canned last. Our canned foods have a lot of salt in them. We eat every couple of hours the snacks in between are a grain and fruit or veggie. Water training our children to drink water. I almost never give them juice. I myself drink Gator Aid and it has a lot of salt but the doctor said it is ok. Water is the best choice and if kept cold in the refer or with ice is tastes better. I never give the kids Kool Aid. We will have a popsicle but would be best to freeze those with pureed fruits. If you get a drinking cup that has about 8 glasses of water in one cup and monitor your intake of water marking down or at the end of the day your cup will tell you how much water you drank that day. Slow down on portions a little at a time. I was on Jenny Craig for a year and after one bag of chips decided well nothing happened and went back to what I was eating. Eat slower. If you do listen to how full you are. We eat because it is so good not full. If we eat and are stuffed that is not good. Better to eat to full and eat again in a couple of hours small snack. Hope this helps. God Bless G.

You need to think about yourself. You are the one who needs to eat healthy for your physical and mental state. When you know about eating out, look into what you can substitute at a restaurant. You know what your husband likes to go out and eat, just keep your food in plenty of supply and when you go out to eat, just take your food with you. If anyone says anything, just ask them if they want a healthy mom or one who won't be around long eating what you don't need. You might even fix some of your food that they will eat along with their normal food. Don't push your diet onto them all at once. Keep yourself well, sometimes you have to think of yourself when no one else will. Men don't always grasp what the consequences are to bad eating habits and not taking care of themselves now. Your children need to learn and know what happens when you don't take care of yourself. Help them to understand eating good food doesn't have to be a humdrum thing. Just look into what you can do to help them now and as they grow. You can use splenda in the Koolaid, but don't let it be a substitute for fruits. Push the fruits as much as possible. It will have a very long lasting effect. It's also something kids do like. Just be versitile in your cooking and how you can incorporate good food with some of the "bad" food. Get imaginative and have fun with your cooking.

Sorry this is late, but I wanted to lend my support for what it is worth. It sounds like your husband does not realize how critical this is. However, he may not "get it" no matter what you do. My suggestion is that you do what you need to do for yourself. I would cook what you need to, and not make a big deal about it. I also agree with one of the other suggestions that you try to find healthier versions of things that they enjoy.
It is possible--not easy, but possible to eat healthy at the types of places you mention. Almost all places have a salad available-order the dressing on the side. Grilled chicken is another good option. I understand the liking and needing to eat. Try to fill yourself on things that are healthy and then go for smaller portions of the other stuff. If you have to eat a small portion of everything--then you are in trouble. You might also try recommending some places that have better options for you. Weight Watchers has break downs of many restaurant dishes. I use Sparkpeople.com, which is free, and I love it.

Best of luck to you--You CAN do this!

I don't think you will be able to force him to change. Obviously, this has been his eating habits since you met him. The only thing that you can ask of him is that he supports you in your quest to eat healthy. Unfortunately, the only thing you have control of is your kids health and your own. You could respond to the hole-in-the wall restaraunts by saying that you have a cardo disease and your doctor does not want you to eat that type of food; how about....? That way we can eat as a family otherwise I won't be able to go. You may just have to put your foot down about your own health - blame it on your doctor.

Hi J., are you looking for a plan for yourself or for the whole family? It might be good to focus on you right now and then slowly introduce a new lifestyle to your husband. Either way, I'm sure that you want to in still as many good habits in your boys as possible. My first piece of advice would be to work in baby steps. Don't try to change everything all at once. First, I would suggest "overhauling" your pantry and fridge. Donate or throw away all of the junk and fill them with a variety of healthy foods that you like. Below are some of the staples on my grocery list...

Whole wheat bread, tortillas, pitas, pasta, crackers
Total cereal, oatmeal, Cherrios
Plain popcorn

Dannon Light & Fit Yogurt
2% string cheese
Skim milk

Base for all salads:
Mixed greens
Broccoli Slaw
Shredded red cabbage
Shredded carrots
Celery
Radish

Sweet potatoes
Low Sodium V8 juice
Frozen Asian veggies
Frozen Mexican veggies

Grapes
Apples
Grapefruit
Bananas
Frozen blueberries

Beans, Lentils (bagged not canned)

Fresh or frozen chicken breasts
Low sodium deli turkey
Frozen fish filets – Sol, Cod, Tilapia, Halibut

Walnuts

Second, I would start walking, even if for only 15 minutes. Gradually extending this time and getting your heart rate up will do wonders for your cardiovascular disease issues.

I know these sound like simple ideas, but I whole-heartedly believe that a lifestyle change is just that...change. Change is stressful and stress isn't good for anybody.

I hope this helps! Feel free to ask more questions.

S. Johnson
Family Health Coach
www.eatplaylivegreen.com

Hello J.,

oh dear, I don't want to sound negative, but when it comes to food, sometimes is much easier to get people to change religions than what they eat. you got good advice already. do what you have to do to be there for you, your kids, and your hubby too... keep eating healthy and preach by your actions. hang in there. it's so hard to eat healthy. besides eating healthy are you taking any supplements like omega 3 oils, red yeast rice, etc. to help you naturally with your cholesterol? are you also making sure you're getting enough magnesium in your diet? read every label... even some '100% whole grain' breads have high fructose corn syrup! when you go out, have a salad and bring your own dressing so you know what you're adding to it. I wish you luck in your road to a healthier life and hang in there... you can do it! ~C.~

I had to drastically change my diet one time for Allergy reasons, (it has since changed again) but I did learn that my DH (dear Hubby) isn't always going to do what I want to do. many times I just sat there without eating while he ate all he wanted. as far as your situation I have learned that if I buy the groceries then I control what everyone eats, and if he doesn't like it he can go get food on his own, without me and the kids. if I don't want fast food I tell him to get it to go and I go home and fix myself what I want to eat. If your DH wants to eat out all the time, tell him he can get it to go, you already have a meal planned/fixed and you don't want to waist it. I focus on other things, like saving money and not wasting food/money and that helps my DH eat at home more often. if you plan all your meals out one week in advance you will be less temped to eat out, and if he can't live w/o the fried chicken he can get take out. but he may never be "on board" with your eating plan, just keep in mind you don't have to be "on board" with his either, give yourself the freedom to say "no" to his plan just as he is saying "no" to yours.

best of luck, now I want to look up the mediterranean plan, I'm always hungry and I have no energy, thanks for the tip!

I have several pounds to shed also. My husband is on board with the dieting as he has high colesteral. The Doc put him on South Beach diet.
I love the same stuff as your hubby but will eat healthy also. Anyways, We try to have foods we like that are healthy ready to eat or cook at home. I like eating a handful of berries and drinking water while I cook to help me not over eat. Remind him how nice it is not to have to leave the house and wait for dinner. Have him take his shoes off and put on comfy clothes or hang out with the boys while he waits for dinner. I would just already have dinner going when he is heading home. As for the boys, include their healthy favorites to eat often, and have them tease dad abit. Remind him about being around for the boys as they become men and being a grandpa wich may not happen if he eats like that. Be sure to ease him into it,though. Offer foods he likes with a healthy twist. Let him eat out at lunch and he may not fight you on dinner.
I also have Sat. off to eat what I want. Proper portions are very hard for me so I have to get less than I would like and try to fill up on water and veggies before I go for seconds. Hang in there. It will get easier.

I am also trying to get my family to eat healthier! We don't eat out much, but my husband does a lot of snacking. He loves chips and soda. When I try and fix a balenced meal- he usally leaves the veggies untouched on his plate! :)
Maybe you could try some lowfat versions of what he likes to eat. I do crock pot BBQ chicken or BBQ brisket and then we have fresh corn or baked potatoes with fresh green beans or a salad.
I also do oven fried chicken also with potatoes and another veggie. I have apples and carrots to snack on for me and the kids. I have also started reading labels and am trying to avoid foods with a lot of suger or high fructose corn syrup and added fats. It leaves out a lot of things and I have to cook more, but homemade oatmeal cookies always taste better.
Don't push him- food can taste great without all the fat/salt/sugar- it just takes a little longer to prepare.
Good luck! I know I get burned out sometimes trying to eat healthier- but I also know that in the long run it will be best for me and my family!
God Bless!
~C.

The NRH Recreation Center offers nutrition consulations:
http://www.nrhtx.com/dept_rec_nutrition.aspx
Good luck!!

Hi J.,

Kudos to you for taking a proactive approach to overcoming the challenge you've been given. My advice is to stick with it...since you're in charge of the meals, the family is going to have to either eat what you've fixed or make their own. Stick to your guns and your husband will fall in line.

I've got a DVD I could send to you that talks about the direct link between diet and heart disease, not to mention cancer and diabetes. Let me know if you would like me to bless you with it and it will be in the mail immediately. It is no laughing matter. You are the heart of your family and it is for their sakes, as well as your own, that you must do what it takes to keep yourself healthy. And then, like I say, unless they want to do their own cooking, the side effect will be that everyone in the family gets healthy with you.

Stay strong!

M.
P.S. My son eats all his veggies now. Even the green ones.
Visit my Mamasource profile to find out how we did it!

Hi J.,

Above websites and nutrition classes you need somebody who will hold him accountable and appreciate your efforts. Please call Serena Johnson, she can help and engage the whole family. I won't say good luck, because good health is not luck but hard work. I know you get it.

H.

Serena Johnson, Health Coach
Go Green! Healthy Kids
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www.eatplaylivegreen.com
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Dear J.,
Check out www.infinity2.com/garrett
then look for Essentials for life
no matter how healthy you eat unless it is raw all of the nutuntrints are gone ,and any nutritionals you take if it don't have a cads deleiver system it is just expensise urine.Check this out and I think you will see a difference I know I did.
Good luck and God Bless
J. G