Getting My Child to Sleep in His Bed Without Mom or Dad

He needs that time with you to get used to being "independent" and he is scared and needs the reassurance. I know you don't want to sleep in his bed, but give him that sense of security by trying it for a week or so until he gets used to the company or you can do a soothing bed time routine so he feels connected and then he can feel comfortable sleeping on his own. It's not just about just putting him in a bed and letting him sleep. It's more than that.

Your kid is throwing a tantrum, and you and your husband are giving in and reinforcing the behavior by giving into it and giving him what he wants.

Throw a tantrum if you want, kid, you're still sleeping in your bed by yourself, you're getting no attention from me, AND, if you keep screaming, you're gonna get a swat on the behind.

That's how I personally HAVE dealt with that. My kids don't try that.

I would take him back to his room, tuck him into bed, sit on the stool and try again. I would not speak to him or have a lot of interaction with him, but reinforce that you are there BUT he needs to be in his bed. Do not stay only til you hope he sleeps, but until he IS asleep.

Somewhere around 3 my DD developed a fear of the dark. Our compromise is that if she stays in her bed, I will leave her big light on until I go to sleep. She knows if she wakes up in the night that her nightlight will be on and that we are just next door if she needs us. So I would try to find out what his problem is and if a solution like that might help. I lay in DD's bed with her one night and told her to look through her door and asked her what she saw. She saw our room. I reminded her that it's not very far away at all. She also has a bear she always sleeps with to help her feel safe.

She's 4 now and sleeps very well in her own bed, without us.

Locking doors is the absolute last resort.

Start with a reasonable routine. Tuck him in, comfort, and then say goodnight. Wait outside his door for when he follows you, walk him back to his bed, now he just gets covers over him goodnight because you already tucked him in. Lather rinse repeat. Once he realizes he isn't getting what he wants out of it, someone sleeping with him, he will stop.

I would not sit by the door, I tried that with my first one and patted him even and sat and sat and would still be sitting there even though he's 40 some now. :-) He was younger than your child but he had to left to cry and it only lasted less than a week ( a few days ) and he then knew I was not rushing in and sitting by him. I think it you would read to your son before bedtime in his room on his bed if possible, then talk a bit, I prayed with our kids then, and say you are going to bed and you will check on him and you are right there if he needs you and then leave he may feel a bit more secure and ready to sleep. Does he have a nite light in his room or hallway? Do you have quiet music you could play outside his room but he could hear it for a bit? Then be firm when he comes out or cries and take him back and tell him again that he is sleeping in his room and you are not staying in there and you will check on him.