Getting My 15-Month to Sleep.

Updated on October 20, 2008
R.L. asks from Encino, CA
8 answers

I discovered that my 15 month old son loves it when I clean his ear with a cotton swab and goes to sleep immediately (sometimes less than a minute). Because it has been so easy getting him to sleep this way, this has been my way of putting him to sleep even when his ears are not dirty. My husband suggested that maybe I shouldn't be making a habit of this because it may create a dependency on the cotton swab, and my son would have a hard time going to sleep with out it. I agree with him to a degree, so I minimize my use of the swab. How is it different from a pacifier or a favorite blankie and those types of things? I also think that he would eventually grow out of it. My daughter use to only go to sleep if I was next to her. She is 3 now and she goes to sleep fine on her own...even without a night light.
Please give me some thoughts and ideas on this matter. Thank you!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your responses.
I kept using the cotton swab when it took him too long trying to get comfortable at night. I gradually stopped. When I stopped, I noticed that his ears would get extra waxy, and cleaning them with a wet cloth during bathtime was not enough. I actually produce a lot of wax, so I like to clean my ears every couple of days or so. He must get his waxy ears from me, so I understand. It really FEELS good to me when I clean my ears. So I didn't do it every night, but just whenever I felt it was necessary.
My son sleeps fine on his own now, with or without the cotton swab. He is actually very understanding when he sees that I am handling his baby sister. When he sees that she is asleep, he takes advantage of that time and rushes to my arms for a long hug.
I just don't agree with the fear-based responses that I may damage my son's eardrum. That only happens if you are actually jamming the swab into an ear....and who would ever do that? Also, different people produce different amounts and types of earwax which requires different types of cleaning. Earwax can be really waxy and wet, or really dry and flaky.

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I agree with you. He will eventually grow out of it. I think when you are comfortable with it, let him do it himself. Say "here you go, mommy loves you,..... good night!" Johnsons puts out a swab that has a big end on it. They can't stick it in thier ear very far. My daughter is facinated with them and I let her clean her own ears. She is 17 months old.
I just keep an eye on her when she is walking around the house with them. (1 in each ear...it's quite funny to see!)
Again, I don't think it is a big deal...it's routine for him, and any routine is a good routine.
Good luck!

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R.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi R.,

Instead of cleaning his ears with a swab, try gently "tickling" the ear with your fingers. My mother gently "traced" all along my ear when I was little and that put me to sleep every time. If that doesnt work, try a gentle touch to the back of the neck or the inside of the wrist.

If none of these things work, try gently holding the feet in your hands, which grounds and brings energy down into the feet, promoting relaxation.

When my (now 2 year old) son was agitated and having a hard time settling down for sleep, I would try these things and by the time I got to the foot holding, he was nice and relaxed.

By the way, the foot holding also worked when he was upset and I couldn't get him to calm down. Seems he just wanted to get grounded and then he would settle down just fine.

Good luck to you and all the best.
Blessings,
R.

2 moms found this helpful
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A.P.

answers from San Diego on

I'm not at all concerned about you soothing your child to sleep in this manner. I imagine your long term goal is to teach him a safe and appropriate way of soothing himself to sleep and/or comforting himself in times of stress. What will happen when your child is able to get a hold on cotton swabs on his own? What will happen when he starts to look for an alternative for the cotton swab to sooth himself? Is there a way to help him find an appropriate alternative? Perhaps you can try to transition him to something soft he can rub on his ear (exterior)? Perhaps you could try just cleaning the outter ear for a few days and then transition to a blanket or teach him to rub his ears.

I imagine your long term goal is to teach him a safe and appropriate way of soothing himself to sleep and/or comforting himself in times of stress.

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N.H.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Have you considered that there may be a 'trigger spot' in his ear that makes him sleepier? Your 'cleaning' his ear may be just massaging a point that relaxes him. There is an important nerve, the vagus nerve, that passes through a point in the center of the ear. It's also known as the wanderer because it has far-reaching effects in the body. While reflexology isn't for everyone, it has come in handy while raising my 4 children. God bless!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

I would think about what next? For example, when he becomes a toddler and older....what if he starts to stick Q-tips or other things in his ear, by himself, in order to go to sleep? It could be dangerous. Not to mention, if he does stick various things in his ear because he associates it with falling asleep....he can get ear infections as well. And, if he DOES fall asleep unwittingly, with something in his ear at the same time, it can puncture his ear drum....

Maybe, lightly rub his temples to relax him, or his forehead... this is also relaxing for a baby or child. My daughter loves this.

The difference between a pacifier or blankie or stuffed animal to sleep with, is that these are SELF-soothing things, which the child himself chooses or chooses to soothe with... AND they can use it at will, by themselves, as a comfort. On the other hand, you using the Q-tip to get your son to sleep....is an external thing in which YOU have to use on him, in order to sleep. HE cannot control it or SELF-regulate it's use, nor "choose" it's use, nor hold it himself as a comfort. To a large degree... and Q-tip IS considered a dangerous item for babies and children.

There are SOOOOO many soothing methods parents use... I will not critique or applaud the q-tip use....but I would just wonder about the overall "safety" of it.... later.

If anything, to reach a compromise with your Hubby...why not simply ask your Pediatrician about it... for a non-partial and Professional opinion on it??? Then based on that.... evaluate and decide.

Good luck,
Susan

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T.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

That's pretty funny, but not surprising. I have a husband and one son who fall asleep when they get haircuts. And when my other son was an infant until about age 4, he would mellow himself out by winding my hair in his fingers and brushing it up against his ears. I think it's just another form of a lovey......you know how some kids completely destroy a silky blanket until it's in shreds. And will still cling to that shredded blanket at nighttime.
For obvious reasons, the cotton swab might not be the best lovey since you don't want him to stick it in his ear and damage his eardrum.
I'd try to find something with the same texture that can't fit all the way inside the ear canal. Good luck :)

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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi R.:
I would have to agree,that there is a difference in self soothing,and A baby having to be soothed to sleep by the mother,but I'm not totally against soothing a baby.When a mother rocks their child to sleep,thats not self soothing,yet mothers have cuddled and rocked their babies for centuries.The question here, is wether your son,will become so dependant on the swab,that he will attempt to put different objects in his ears later,as a result.I understand,that his reaction to being soothed and falling asleep so easily,by such a simple gesture,tempting,But I agree,that you could probably switch it up,and begin using a soft blanket,to lightly run along the lobe of his ear,thus,leaving him that option to soothe himself,with his blanket rather than take a chance of his using an object.I don't think this is something you need to stop abruptly,but could be done gradually.All babies are different,some need more soothing than others,in order to fall asleep.You mentioned you did alot of traveling. Babies,love routine.They feel secure,in their own bed,and their own home,so you may find your son needs more soothing than your daughter or vice versa.Thats not to say, that children aren't able to adapt,when they are use to that lifestyle,but its important,for them to feel safe,when moving around,and in different enviroments.I'd say,take it slow and easy.I'd never suggest to abruptly stop a bottle, pacifier,blankey,or anything else,that soothed or helped my child feel secure.I wish you and your darlin boy the best.

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K.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi R., I agree with S H, A paci and blankie are self-soothing, while what you are doing is making your child dependent on you to fall asleep. Our goal as parents should be to help our children become independent, not dependent on us. I would stop the Qtip use right away as it is dangerous and creating a bad habit. He may have trouble going to sleep for a day or two but that should pass quickly.
K. ( Sleep Consultant and Parenting Coach)www.theindependentchild.com

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