Pacifier Good or Bad for Promoting Self Soothing?

I don't know if it interfers with learing to self sooth but my mother in law pointed out yesterday that it is much easier for a baby to learn to live without a pacifier then a thumb. The pacifier you can take away.

She maybe able to find it on her own some where between 6-8 months.

Good luck

My daughter used a pacifier and I never thought I would with "my" baby. LOL I also breast fed her for up to a year and right up to that time she used a paci and then one day she was just over it and would go to sleep on her own. It was *me*who needed weaned off the darn thing! I kept offering it to her when she clearly didn't want one! In the mean time though....
If it seems to calm her down and maybe it is just the "sucking" that she wants to soothe herself, then go for it. You will know if she is truly hungry.

Since my son was colicky, it took a lot longer for him to learn to self-soothe and the pacifier SAVED MY LIFE. I know every kid is different and mine just never did like sucking his thumb. I nursed him for over a year and the middle of the night nursing ended for us at around 10 weeks. He did fine gaining and was off the charts....until he started pulling himself up at 9 months and trying to stand (but that's a whole different topic).
Answer 1)For us, the pacifier helped my son learn to self-soothe. I was right there with you in terms of wondering how long I would have to help him find the pacifier in the middle of the night.
2)I think somewhere between 6-9 months, he was able to find and put back the pacifier.
Is it good or bad? I guess it depends. My son never took a bottle, so I never had to wean him off a bottle. From what I've heard bottle-weaning is harder than pacifier-weaning. Either way, it's a huge task to wean. At 18 months, my son only uses the pacifier during naps and at night. He doesn't use it or need it at other times during the day. It has helped during bouts of teething so he can soothe himself to sleep (along with the help of Tylenol). I know the time will come to wean him from a pacifier, but I'll just have to face that too. I wouldn't change anything though, since 9 months he's been sleeping through the night. If the pacifier helped with that, then hallelujah for it! I too highly recommend the book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It gave me real strategies that worked for us and I am indebted to the friend who suggested it to me. I just wish I had it before my son was born. All the best to you.

Sounds like your baby may actually be ready for solids. If you begin to feed her a little of rice cereal at her dinner time she may start sleeping more soundly.

She IS self-soothing with the pacifier. Pacifiers are GOOD!! A happy baby is a healthy baby.

When they get old enough to put it in themselves, you can start pinning the binky to their clothing so it doesn't get lost.

And like it or not, the kind of baby that really responds to a pacifier usually really NEEDS it, so it's better to give it to them. It'll make your life a lot easier. There are ways to break the habit later on. (Like cut the tip.)

(NOTE: Okay, she's not self-soothing in the most technical of terms, but I really disagree that an infant should have to self-soothe. Infancy is the time of life when people really develop emotional stability (or not), and in having their needs met they become happier, more confident people. Give 'em the binky.)

I think to answer your first question - yes, it keeps her from learning self soothing. My daughter did the same thing and I had about four weeks of trying to feeding her, giving her a pacifier or even picking her up. It only seemed to encourage her to keep waking up, at the same time. Then I tried just touching her and made soothing sounds and/or quitely said go back to sleep; without picking her up, I let her know I was there, but didn't give her exactly what she wanted - it was like I took away her "reward" for waking up completely and she figured it out on her own. It only took a week or so once I did this.
As for Q-#2: I have pretty much always given her a pacifier to go sleep initally, then when I stopped picking her up or giving it to her in the middle of the night I made sure it was within her reach. To this day, I honestly don't know if she uses it thoughout the night or not, but she usually has it in her hand or her mouth in the morning.
Best wishes

I'd keep the paci. Babies need to suck, it calms them and helps them to self-sooth. My babies never really liked the paci and were done with them around 3 months, but they both (they're twins) have blankets that they suck on to fall asleep, or when they're hurt or something. I haven't thought much about getting rid of them yet, but maybe next year.

I would just stick with the paci. We had ours for a long time and it was the best for our daughter. It was a pain for a while, but around 6 months she was able to find it herself. Stick with it if you can.

Hi A.,
Kaiser just completed a huge study on SIDS and they found that the death rate was cut by a huge margin by doing two simple things: giving the pacifier and letting a fan blow across the baby while sleeping. They think that the fan keeps CO2 from building up around the face and the paci keeps them sucking which also keeps them from stopping breathing. So I would say let her have the paci. It doesn't hurt anything and she is only 4 1/2 months and her sucking reflex is still really strong. She will learn to soothe herself to sleep but you have a little while longer before that happens. Congratulations on your beautiful baby!

Both my girls used "binkies" and they were great for us! They only used them until about 6 or 8 months (sorry it's been a while.) For sure they stopped using them when they got a few teeth in. Pacifiers are are way for them to self-sooth and it's easier to break than a thumb-sucking.

I think they're fine and will save your nipples. Just make sure it stops before she starts getting too many teeth in. By the time she's old enough to find it on her own, she shouldn't be using them anymore.

In short, do whatever works for you and your daughter! Happily sleeping babies and mommies are a good thing!

Hi A.,

As you well know each child is different. My first two children happily took pacifiers for self soothing but my 3rd wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole. I think that if you daughter is content with taking the pacifier during the night or day to sooth herself than it is alright to give it to her. With that said I also would try to find a lovey or something that she could bond with like a small blanket or stuffed animal. If you condition this now while nursing and snuggle time it may help her to self sooth once it is time to say bye-bye to the pacifier which I would recommend about 12-18 mo. For peace of mind if she does attach to something get at least 2 of these items and alternate them. If you they have equal wear and tear she will not know the difference and if you ever loose one you have a backup that looks and smells the same. My first 2 did this but of course my 3rd pacified with sucking her thumb and did not attach to a lovey. I actually wish that my 3rd would have taken a pacifier over her thumb because at least I could take it away when I felt like she didn't need it anymore. I just hope she grows out of it early.
Hope this helps!!
R.

I'm not a fan of pacifiers. My hubby tries to get me to use one, but then breaking them of it, and the damage to thier teeth are not worth it to me. My 7 month old was waking every two hours at night, then three hours, then twice a night, and now that he is 7 months old, he doesn't wake at all. Before he had the chance to become fully awake, I would pick him up and cuddle him and he was asleep in a few seconds. Now if he does wake during the night, he either goes right back to sleep himself, or I pick him up for a sec.

I wouldn't give up the paci if the baby takes it. I have read many of articles and my sis inlaw pediatrition told her that a pacifier helps prevent SIDS. It is good for them to suck while they are sleeping. So I'm all for it if my babys would take it.

Sometimes infants need a little help holding the paci in. You can help her keep it in by gently pulling it from her mouth ( not all the way out) she will resist you and suck it harder. She will learn to hold onto it better. I read about this in a wonderful book called The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp. It also talkes about self soothing- I would sugget picking it up- I loved it.

A.

I refused to do a pacifier because I was afraid I'd have to get up and pop it back in the baby's mouth every 20 minutes when it fell out with her sleep induced slobber. Both my girls never had them and both learned to self-sooth. Actually, they were both thumb suckers which is also a hard habit to break, but at least they could find their own thumbs while I pleasantly watched the inside of my eyelids.

I think both my girls were sleeping through the night by 4 months, but that was pretty unusual. My point is that she's still tiny. At 4 months, she still may need to nurse 2-3 times between 10 and 6, but that shouldn't last too much longer. You may have to stay up and walk her around until she falls asleep when she shouldn't be nursing, but it will probably be better for you in the long run if she learns to fall asleep w/out the pacifier.

Good luck. I know you're sleepy... hang in there!

I'm with the majority of the people who responded--if the pacifier helps her, by all means, use it! My daughter used the pacifier very early on, and we gradually phased it out so that by 18 months, she was not using it anymore. My son is a thumb sucker, and he is almost 5 and still needs to suck his thumb to fall asleep. Looking back, I really wish we used the pacifier instead of encouraging the thumb. At the time, we figured he's able to find his thumb on his own....and we remembered the nights we had to get up just to put the paci back in my daughter's mouth. But in retrospect, I MUCH prefer the paci since it was so much easier to break the habit than the thumb.

Good luck on your decision!

Here are a couple of articles that may help your decision:

http://www.llli.org/cbi/journal3.03.html

http://www.llli.org/NB/NBNovDec07p279.html

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/concerns/pacifier.html

Hope those help you. Good luck!

T. Solar
Founder
www.theparentpack.org

I used the pacifier with my first two children, and thought I had it all figured out... they were easy to break of the pacifier at about a year of age. It simply disappeared one day and they were over it within a day and didn't need it any more. Tried the same thing on my third child and it just didn't work. She wanted her thumb and nothing else! Well, this is to answer mostly the remarks of the person who doesn't like pacifiers and has concerns about what it does to their teeth. The only one of my children who had teeth problems was the daughter who wanted her thumb. She pulled on the front teeth as she sucked the thumb and ended up having to go to speech therapy when she started school because of it. Sucking on a pacifier doesn't result in that pull on the teeth, and also doesn't leave a milk residue on the teeth (as would happen if you put your child down with a bottle) to start decay.
I personally would let the child have the pacifier, and don't think it will make a lot of difference in the self-soothing. A 'battle of wills' over it would create more harm.

2) answer first -- being able to find the pac in the crib and pop it back in is kind of never achieved. I bought my daughter the glow-in-the-dark ones hoping that would help, but there's just nooks and crannies they can roll, or fall through the slats and get stuck or fall out altogether. You simply can't count on it.
1) yeah, the pac definitely is a hindrance in self-soothing, especially when you have a child who won't go back to sleep without it. I sort of want to advise you to get out now while you can -- it becomes harder to break the habit with a 2-year-old than with an infant. My daughter was 3 by the time she was able to let it go, then she popped her thumb in her mouth and uses that just as much. We are an orally-fixated family, so we probably couldn't have avoided all of it, but I do wish the pacifier hadn't been in our lives so long. it drops on the floor, it gets dirty, it gets lost, it rolls down the aisle on the airplane... and anxious feelings only get more amped up later.
So, instead of popping in the pacifier, do quiet soothing for her, pat her belly, SHH her gently and just be present and calm. Pick up a good book (I am one who loved Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth) and see if there are any other tips. Remember too that she is still very young and will need more soothing/training before she can get through a night on her own, with or without the pacifier. So try to stay without it!

At 4 months, she's not able to self-soothe, despite all the talk from baby "trainers". I'd wait till she's at least 6 months old before worrying about teaching self-soothing techniques. Personally, I don't think a pacifier is a bad thing and don't understand what all the bad rep is about. In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends using a pacifier through the first year as a SIDS prevention.